evelyn.. need help from u. never see u online leh.. ask u ar.. u noe the pantene some serum tt can help to straighten hair.. tt one better or the silky straight. silky straight is sunsilk i think. which of these 2 products better??

a cold day and a cold night. for a whiny girl wanting more attention...

the fun is over!

merry christmas! merry merry christmas. i've got to say.. this is one christmas i will never forget. it's been great. time spent with everyone seem sooo little. tooo little. but i really had a great week. thanks guys!

any other animes that i can catch after ouran high school... recommend!

Let the pictures speak for themselves... Happy 11th month, my boy

our annual christmas party never fail to bring a smile to my face and warm up my heart. the bond we still share is so heartwarming that even till now, i'm still buzzing with a blessed feeling. this is call xin fu. i feel sooo blessed. with good friends... with close bonds.. with everyone around me i'm a luckyyy luckkky girl.. and like what boon said, this is fu qi!

woke up to a cold morning and went central for yakun breakfast. even though it's cold, that boy's x'mas gift warmed me up. don't see i complain he dunno how to give me surprise... and that i noe wad is he gg to get me already or the fact that he never even wrap up the present blah blah blah... but upon seeing the bear, i still feel very happy. i'm in a goood moood?? but i seriously feel very blessed. after so many years rejected love, rejected x'mas (apart from our annual x'mas party), i truly feel loved and appreciated. this me to you bear has so much meaning i feel. maybe other couples have their own version of stories but to me.. me to u bear is the first gift i ever received from my boy. it's one that carrys a hot water bottle. he said he bought me that to keep me warm since i get cold so easily. angel.. still remember last year.. when we keep saying this kinda bear shouldn't buy for ourselves? cos then it would be me to myself bear. how one year pass soo fast yea? furthermore.. when i look at this bigger m2u bear... still wrapped with a muffler, keeping me warm and a huggable size.. i noticed this bear has really small eyes. lol... meaning. if anyone caught it. small eyes. i cannot emphasise enough. that day he just mentioned, of all types of teddy.. even forever frens bear, i had to like the most expensive type. oh well.... it's the bear tt i like.. not the price. all in all... thanks dear.

went to yan's hse for our annual x'mas party. it's the usuals.. pasta.. salad... this time no clam chowder though. the only diff we have each year is the wine we drink and our dessert. had fondue.. wooooo.. pretttyyy! maybe i'll consider getting one myself.. cos it looks pretty. good for parties. after the very sumptous meal.. gift exchange. somehow i feel that this year's gift exchange is so meaningful. it's like angel and mortal.. and i'm angel's angel!!! and xin's my angel. somehow, i feel that though everyone wants diff gifts but every gift need some preparation or effort into getting them. nothing is easy.. the buying.. choosing and wrapping. it's all the tots and i can really feel it. especially my darling xinxin... love u lots. the bowl, chopsticks and spoon is sooo coool and cute. love it! =) anyway, angel, i hope u like wad i got u. =)

at the end of the day when i took the bus back, i always read the x'mas cards they made or write. this is the part that really touches me. this year, i really feel guilty for not writing or making one. i will do it next yr. first new yr resolution. those words.. those blessings i get from u guys, it totally ended my day so well. i love all of u so so much!!!

MUACKS!!! welcome back amelia!!!

ok.. i m bored. this explains two entries in a day. but actually, i'm not bored today. today is just a nice slacky and sleepy day. when i stepped out of the house today, i had the sunshine over rain feel. finally, i get to see some sunlight. i mean it's a drastic comparison from yesterday, where i almost thought i would have to swim or get blown away. but anyway, finally hit the gym today. i feel so guilty for procrastinating it for 2 days... wonder when will i go again next... baby said this week is hols week.. eat as much as i can, next week den start but no. i paid good bucks.

caught curse of the golden flower today. jay chou looked so out of place in the movie.. overall.. serious movie... artistic??? need a little depth thinking... so not a holiday flick. but nvm, i enjoyed the company.

can't wait for the weekends to come!

sometimes, i just want people to ask me for my opinions. even if it means that they've already made up their mind about it. i feel that this shows that they care about what i think and even if my opinion differ from theirs, i don't expect them to follow my opinions... i just want to feel my opinions matter to them.

it's all about how i feel again.

bon voyage dear amelia.... have a safe trip. will be looking out for news... just in case.

parta at little india.... steamboat at night and a nice game of chocopoly.... if only i have hot cocoa to go with... life will be perfecctt...

a beautiful monday, clouded with a rainy scene. heavy rain a moment and then gone. cold weather and i'm only drapped in teeshirt and shorts. good weather i would say, but i dun like the heavy rain part. got caught in the rain a little since this morning and due to extreme tiredness, i just went ahead to sleep.

caught deja vu last night. the show's pretty decent. but being in the holiday mood and season, dun really wan a show that requires much thinking. and furthermore, not at night. we wanted a late night movie.. but the latest we can get is 930 at night... and only lasted 2 hours. so after the movie, we went to macs and sat through out and talk cock. nice feeling, decent company. reached home around 6 plus in the morning. result is no gym cos simply cannot go with such a worn out body and not enough sleep.

and why not enough sleeep? unlike my boy who has the whole day to sleep. met my frens this afternoon and headed to ikea. first time to tampines ikea. nice place.. but everytime without fail whenever i go ikea, i've got an urge to want to design my own house. want to buy new house. ikea is sooo cooool lah. nv fail to amaze me with their stuff. i wannna buy stuff for my dream house. i wanna design my dream house!!! haha.. after which, we headed back to my house. totally tired.

but it's nice to hang out with my friends. =)

the day i'm waiting for has finally arrived!! it's the holidays... a seasonal holidays! must plan a nice holiday ahead... time for work and time for play. i think after the new year... it will be mostly work. so i only have 2 weeks for fun!!! =) x'mas mood is really getting to me mans. jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way.

lalalalalalalalalala~~~ more parties please. i wanna party.... how come no one organises parties for me!!! why must always i organise!!! party party party. i've got lots to sae... but lazy to type....

r/s between people.. be it friendship or just interpersonal r/s can be som complicated sometimes.

whatever i'm doing now, i'm not enjoying the process. too much hiccups on the way and failed product. =/ wad a sleepy, cold wednesday. seriously, somehow my house seemed really cold on weds. i always have to wear jacket cos the living room seemed so cold. this is like a stark contrast from what people always sae about my hse. but brrrrrrrr.......... am really cold.

quite excited about cruise but didn't get to go in the end. of all probs i anticipate... like no money.. mum dun allow, no vacancies.. but it has to be expiry date of passport. ok.. think if amelia reads it, she will most probably feel as dui as i am. so i shall cut the sad story short.

looking ahad, i m rather anticipating x'mas coming. when i was young, x'mas didn;t matter so much. i dun remember really partying or celebrating. it's just a 25 dec and a day where mum buys present for me. that's where all my monopoly sets come from by the way. but as i grow up, x'mas had a meaning to me. x'mas was a sad day to me. i didn't like x'mas. i hated it. i blamed this particular festive day that makes me weep. i hate the memories attached to them. and all the lightings doesn't cheer me up. couples on the street didn't make my mood better either. all in all, i hated x'mas. ok.. i was being subjective. up till this year, x'mas meant something to me. i no longer shunned x'mas. i no longer weep on x'mas. i no longer feel down on x'mas anymore. and in fact, i'm really looking forward to it. to the extend, i'm even alowing myself to go church this x'mas. suddenly had the mood to go. i have so many things to be thankful for. that i ve dedicated x'mas for church. =)

the coldness is really getting to me. really want to go grad ball.. but dun think can get enough people.. =/

never knew starch is so difficult to make.

star awards is definitely something not to be missed. so entertaining.. so funny at certain parts.. got pretty girls to ooogle at. michelle chia is drop dead gorgeous!!! woaaah.... !!! hahaha.... i've been smiling at the tv since 6??? and where is the person i watched star awards since... i dun remember since when.. but it's been so long. and on this day.. 2006, she decided to give it a miss. 'm gg to die of excitement level. okok.... only she ever understands the thrill and laughter we share for star awards. so to many many people out there, or ratjer majority.. i'm crazy. but u understand right.. YOU!!! YOU YOU YOU!

yes yes, i'm high. ask me why.. i dunno. maybe cos i slept at only 7am this morning? i would ve been higher if money was at stake during the mj game. won... had 2 sessions. one on sat afternoon, which i won. and another session after 12 midnight, i won too!! lalala.... my boy and i won. i'm so surprised he won. seriously... he was like giving out money in the beginning. haha. but we won. and den again... if we really used money.. might not win.

life can be so fulfilling and happy at times. i wish i will remain like tt for a long time.. or at least till the year ends. i want to be in good mood till 2006 ends. 2006 has been beautiful. i still ve frens which i kept for so long.. and not intending to let go anyway. i have my boy... =) i have everything and everyone that i ought to be thankful for. it's really important to know how to be blessed and thankful. with that in mind, life can be so beautiful!

xmas is coming.. and i'm already in the moood. i wanna PARTTYYY!!! PARTTYYYY!!!!! i wan to sing, dance and enjoy myself!!!! LALALA

things can be so difficult at times. sometimes, it's within my reach, and at other times, it seem so far away. i don't know what i want. in terms of darkness and light, i feel that i've seen more darkness than light. i'm just a confused soul who thinks she knows what she wants. den at the end fo the day, with everything that she got, she still end up unsatisfied. then i ask again. what exactly do i want.

to digress about how shitty i feel right now... i wannn xmas songs!!! i wan to feel the xmas atmosphere. but i dun have much xmas songs. wanna fill a bit of these songs into my mp3.. to get the mood. holidays are drawing near.. and let me emphasise again.. my holidays are on !8!!! which is one and a half week more... no dates till den. and please.. make my holidays meaningful. i dun wanna spend the last of 2006.. thinking how pathetic or how dark i've became. maybe i need a stranger.. someone whom i can trust enough to tok.. but not close enough to reveal my tots to others.

amelia.... ur cruise is tempting.. but ur kl.. nono.. 18 to 21 right??? i hv a party on 20 or 21 leh.

i wan a fruitful holidays... a meaningful one. wish i could go for some self-discovery camp all over again. i'm sure i will find back the thing or the light i want.

ok... i'm confirm unfriendly if both my best buds say so. grrr.... why!!! i always thought i'm friendly and warm.. no??? no!!??? no!!??? unfriendly not sumone one yan meh!!??? HUH!!!!

i'm still sick. went to the gym this morning. almost died. panting and panting.. my breath cannot catch up. even the instructor could tell i wasn't feeling well. but i'm glad at least i sweat it out.

anyway.. my ever dearest cousin is back from australia!!!! she said she was coming back on the 4th! but she came back on thurs night. lalalala.... and she bought me a pretty handbag. =) MUACKSSS!!!

things are going on fine. except my stupid flu. this auntie on the train today so bad. i coughed and she actually shield herself by using newspaper.. den when i coughed again, she took her newspaper and fan herself. haiya.. i noe la. i dun like people to cough on the train... now i noe how it feels. =/

down with the flu.... and it is so irritating. i can't breathe through my nose. i feel so lethargic. mild headache. feeling hot a moment and cold the next. and of course, the irritating cough and phelgm. i should think this is how it spells. but whatever it is, everything spells SICK!!!!! and i hate it.

chanced upon few blogs today. interesting.. sometimes i wonder what it takes for a person to become more friendly. this issue has been bugging me for a while.. now.. frens, brothers and sisters out there.. answer me!! am i unfriendly?? i dun think so... but maybe... i dun always take initiative.. tt's my problem

okok.... blogging this already makes me tired. nose still blocked.. =/ urggggggggg

as i looked at you today, realisations hit me. i do noe how to be happy after all. u are part of my happiness. not the expected you but you. all i have to do is trust in you. i should trust in you. tok about building walls around me... even though i might ve break them.. i am still preventing things from even happening. i m predicting and trying to avoid. when things have not even happened. so i need to learn to trust. we're still young. if some things should happen for one reason or another... let it be. cos i believe i fell for who you are and no point changing who i fell for in the first place. i need to learn to trust again. i need to learn to love again. and like what i always tell mummy.. love is beautiful and something to be given... and not expecting any in return. tt's what love should be. and i should stick to my believe.

i hope i will be a happier person. cos to me.. nothing stumbles me more than anything but this. i learnt how to climb back up on my feet. i need to take a step ahead. =)

i m feeling lighter already.

Daniel Bedingfield "If You're Not The One"

If you're not the one
Then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one
Then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine
Then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine
Would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away
But I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you
Then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you
Then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me
Then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me
Then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it
I don't understand
If I'm not made for you
Then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong
That it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart
And pray for the strength to stand today
Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it
I don't understandIf I'm not made for you
Then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms

ANGEL DARLING... READ THIS CLEAR AND LOUD IF U WANT TO. YOU ARE ALWAYS WANTED. BE IT WHETHER U BECOME FAT, POOR AND VE TO EAT ALONE IN THE FUTURE.... U ARE ALWAYS WANTED. BY ME BY US!!!!!

haha... so forget tt silly dream! silly.. it's really a silly dream. i m not angry with u. why should i? i where got dun wan u. haha... but wierd ar. why am i the bad guy in ur dreams!! i know!! it must be the opposite. i'm such a good guy in real life. =) anyway... really forget it. no worries, k. i m always here.. and will nv tok to u in tt manner. tt's crazy. hahaha....

why do i always shun? i know the answer and know it too well. it's inferiority. what i question my heart is am i always like that? have i always been like that? or is it what or who i became tt made me feel inferior. once again... i dun like who i see in the mirror today.

i can be so immature at times, seriously. my heart's always flying, never settled. therefore, the way i deal with things can be so immature. now, i have anotehr question.. what is strength and how do i gain it? i guess everyone at some points of their life will always question themselves? like how meaningful are we leading our life. right at this prime age, or how i would like to call it, i always doubt and question myself. i always want this, expect that.. maybe people are right. my expectations are too high. expectations tend to be lowered as we grow older and more mature. apparently, i m not at that age yet and far from it. maybe i wouldn't call it expectations? but i would call it my whims and fancy. i always want to get wad i want. and i must get it. tt's immature, isn't it?

so this sums up upon the fact tt i m inferior and immature?

on a lighter note... i regretted not doing wad i wanted to do today.. maybe it's not too late now? hmmm.. but i m soo lazy.

okok... a random entry. am in one of my thoughtful mode.

what's with the intensity mans. with the dating without the blog's owner and all.... and amelia.. i didn't distort any facts to angel. i spoke truth.. merely truth. haha...

hey.. anyone tried gv gold class before? it's 25 bucks.. per ticket. tt's a little ex. wanted to catch the prestige at vivo city. yes.. i finally went there. but the show's only on with gold class. no normal seating. i think this kidna money is alright to spend if there's a occasion or wad. but on a normal monday? no way.... but i would love to try it out.. heard it's totally cool with only 2 person.

so yes... finally to vivo. i noe why everyone thinks the third lvl is nice and all. i like the view best. but it makes me feel liek going sentosa more. and evelyn, there's URS at vivo.. happen to see it. as i was walking ard vivo.. i keep saying.. hey.. they have this.. eh.. they have that.. oooh.. they have this and that. lol... and he keep saying of cos.. it's soo big.. they should ve everything. haha... sumone please correct me but is vivo the biggest shopping mall in singapore?

made a promise to myself. will eat sushi tei next mth!

went to catch The Guardian today. usually, i would not watch such show but because ashton kutcher is part of the cast so i thought i will give it a shot. anyway.. the show's great. i'm touched by the U.S coast guard. their job, their role and i think they are so honourable. it's such a goot show. salute to them. =)

the rain definitely has something against me today. i wanted to go vivo today after my sushi buffet. and yes.. two buffets in 2 days. like wad amelia sae.. can sae hello to the fats i burn away. so after my buffet.. when i was about to leave cine.. ir rained.. super heavy. i was a little disappointed because finally he agreed to go vivo with me. so relunctantly.. we decided to catch a show in cine. so just after i bought my tickets at 5th level and coming down... i noticed the rain stopped. what the.. after which, we made our way to taka to walk around and grab something sweet. when it's around the time of our movie, we wanted to walk our way back to cine.. and lo and behold, it was raining very heavily. had to run in the rain... got me quite wet. and den when we finalyl made our way to cine.. gg up the escalator.. i realised the rain stopped. hmmmmm...

there's something that i noticed which i think is interesting. in this month, whenever nic and i go to some restaurant to eat, there will always be a lady, quite plum in size, sitting near our table, eating alone. the first time it happened, it was at country mana. that lady was reading a comic book. the romance one summore. i was jokingly telling nic if he ever dumps me, i will become so fat and become a loner and eat alone. okok.. joke. but on monday, we went changing appetites to eat, we saw anotehr lady... eating a meal of seafood and oysters alone. seafood... i love seafood. i joked abt it... and TODAY!!! when i go eat buffet.. and sushi buffet... theres this lady sitting behind us alone!! eating alone!!!!! now.. tell me this is not a sign... signs are all i believed in.. and these signs are calling out to me mans.

even after i shower.. there's a smell that lingers. it's a smell of combination of me and u.... =)

i had a really good day. i just want things to start afresh.... didn't expect it to end up tt way. but well... i m glad it's sunshine again

Classic Halter Dress

Classy and sexy, you know how to make a lasting impression without having an outrageous dress.

What's Your Prom Style?

definitely halter...

You are a Buff Girl!

You've got a boomin' body and a fearless spirit. Most guys have trouble keeping up with your energy and fitness level. Competitve and fun loving, you're up for almost anything. Make sure you pick a guy who doesn't mind getting beaten by a girl!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

Your Life is Like

Better Off Dead...

What John Cusack Movie Are You?

great....

haven't been very happy lately. i dunno where my unhappiness comes from. all i noe is i sleep without a smile... i forgot my dreams when i wake up, i wake up knowing i'm back with all the problems. i dun like to run away. but i dunno where to start solving from. i feel so lost. without a sense of direction. i become tired easily... i become dissatisfied with alot of things, i become irritated easily. memories of the past got evoked. how i disliked them. how i really dun like them. the way they behave. the way they treat girls like shit. how they take it for granted. but those were really how i felt in the past.. and now, i feel the same again.

it's so difficult being happy. maybe... my only source of happiness is to be with my friends. at least... we dun hide our feelings from each other. it's happy from within..

oh well.... random entry.

what must a woman do to keep her man? to capture her man's heart? capture the stomach? use tears? use stickiness? use hard work? get rid of all her rivals? haha... i cannot think of better answers to it.. but none of the things i can think of will ever be the answer.

tt's because.. i don't know how i can capture my man's heart or how i want to do it. i m like that. take it or leave it. i used to think changing into who i am is the solution.. changing into someone tt the other party likes... is the answer.. but it's not. so i ve decided not to do anything. to be myself. there may be people who dun like me. but.. i still want to be me.

2 more days... one harddd day.... and one more fiday and i will be free. i seriously cannot wait.

"to like someone is a thing. to be with someone is another thing. it's not the same"

"i think liking someone is something great. it is something magical"

"i just do it cos there's so much emotions in me that i got to release it"

Firstly, these would be something someone irresponsible, impractical and impossible to sae. because firstly, why wouldn't u want to be with someone u love? and secondly... this is reality. not some fairytale story. loving someone is magical... but we are in reality.. we tok about responsibilities and there's other people involved too. that's something i definitely learnt. to be with someone, to love someone... is not abt just two person. it involves so many other people as well. it involes responsibility and there's always a need to account to other people. how other people feel.. wad other wants.

of course.. the perfect r/s is not to care and go ahead.. but tt's not practical.. tt's almost impossible. and lastly... to do something just cos u feel like doing.. tt's.... =/ lots emotions in me.... fidning a way to let out only.

thursday are always a drag to me since week one. it's week 5 of school and thursdays are still a drag to me. but guess wad people out there... when i opened my blog and saw 10 tags.. i definteily felt so much better. really!!! so i m given recognition to amelia... angel and joel. shall i knight u guys? ahahah... here's one to LADY AMELIA... one to LADY ANGEL and last one to SIR JOEL. what will i do without u regular taggers.. my thursdays will kll me.

ahahah.. enough of recognition. here's something to u amelia.. i should be toking to u more online.. cos we haven't met up since forever... however.. quite busy with stuff. i dun tok much to people on msn.. unless it's WEE WEE hours.... really wee into the night.. den i can spare some time.. really. so i m sorry for all the times tt u had to initiate the conversations. please do keep it htere and strong.. i need it... and i will reciprocate. tell u wad.. when next month come.. i will cook a meal of home cooked food for u, k. dun think u tried my chinese food before right? next month.. will book u. =)

next week's going to be the last week of school before elearning and before the CA week. ahahha.. a tiny break and after tt.. it's projects and studying all the way. i can't wait to graduate but yet.. am scared of wad i m gg to venture out to do. haik.. life has always been a breeze.. tt i ffeel tt i m finally stepping out on my own. =/ BRACE UP, leona!!! no negative feelings

"et tu brute, then fall caesar!"

this is the only thing i remembered since sec 4. ahaha.. to think we almost memorise the whole book, all the quotes and all.. and end up, i only remember this one sentence.

i nv think caesar is a bad guy. slightly more tyranny... but i nv felt tt he was bad. tt's why when his last parting words were those above. i really felt sad for him. to think he trusted his fren.

the point of saying all these is cos.. i think the whole story is made nice by mrs low. she explored and made us understand each character... =)

it's amazing how third party's words are sometimes so much more accurate than my own feelings. i always thought my feelings portrayed what i need and exactly how i feel. but no... i can be so wrong.

it's like when i start grumbling at this, moaning at that, complaining about this and that. but little do i noe what i ve is already the best for me. cos maybe this thing has always been ard, beside me but i dunno how to appreciate it. always complaining it's not good enough. always grumbling and wanting better excitement out there. but i can really be so wrong.

what i need is defintiely not wad i want. i must learn how to stick to wad i need. and solely wad i need. cos it will only be the best.

i'm so glad i have u ard. i really do. =) thanx for making me feel better today. =)

one of those nights, i refuse to sleep even when my eyes threaten to close. listening to songs and looking at people's blogs and pictures...

why did i even allow myself to always indulge in these emotions. how easy it is to leave footprints in people's life. and how diff it is to remove these footprints....

When we want to remember something or some special event, we take pictures. we want to be able to keep these as memories or look back at them and used them to evoke back happy memories. this is wad people do to keep memories. but there are many other type of memories tt dun ve pictures yet i wun want to lose those memories. i wonder if one day i were to lost these memories, apart from those tt i can still use pictures to remember, wad would i do. how would i grow.

i want to remember how gm used to tie my hair every morning when i was still in pre school. i remember in order to make it very neat, she will pull my hair very hard. haha.. i'm not being a sadist here but i want to remember how pampered and loved i feel from her.

i want to remember how much punishment i got from my teachers since young cos i tok too much. how embarrassing, how humilating some punishments may be. i still remember there was this once, she dun wanna give me my tea. and it was my fav porridge on a tues. we had diff tea items for diff days. i'm a talker since way young.. chatter and chatter. in primary 2.. teachers wrote i sae i m vocal but should concentrate on my studies. aa sae... vocal is being nice. tt's called talkative.

i want to remember how happy i was when chen lao shi gave me special treatment in pri school i want to remember how happy i was to ve joanne as my best fren. i wanna remember how childish i was in pri school to write nasty remarks about amelia and sarah cos i tot they were toking bad about me. and the whole big hoo haa tt followed. i wan to remember how i was being ostracised (issit spelled this way?) during recess and how i cried so bad to mummy and wad mummy did for me. i want to remember hanging out with the so called cool group thereafter. i wanan remember how they always joke abt me and cheekuey man. i wanna remember how good pri school foood taste. curry mee. hor fun.. chilli meatball.. fishball..

when i had to leave primary school, i went ijtp all by myself or so i tot. i want to remember how i made frens with angel. cos we were signing up for choir auditions. how we made fun of elaine fresh cooker. i want to remember how mrs low said maybe i should join chess club. and i asked for a second chance then got into choir. i want to remember esp sec 2. how suspend was formed. how we practised at yan's hse. how we sang and won the ferro roche( speeld this way?) and then was asked to sing during mooncake festival. tt was one of the mooncake festival i wun forget as well. and the song we composed. i wanan rememebr how lays was formed.. how i love the maths teacher. which i cannot remember her name but i noe she v pretty and i loved her. and wanna do well for her.

this is only a small part of my life.. there are so many other things i wanna keep and etached into my head. and i dun wanna lose them. cos if without them, i wun be able to grow and mature to who i m today.

=) still craving so much for tt salmon!!

firstly, must give credits to joel. thanks alot for helping me with the archives and the width of this thing. though cover the beautiful face behind.. but i would still prefer a wider width. thanks thanks thanks and a million times.

forgot to discuss with mummy the issue again. i'm hopinh she will allow me to take it but i m not pinning too much. financial wise ar... haik.

nana is nice.. i liek the last part. i cannot sae wad issit here.. cos angel haven;t read, but it's nice.. i m glad so and so... blah blah blah... i wanna be like her too.

watched rob-b-hood. cuttess.. the little baby especially. facing a little prob now.. anyone noes how to add archives to the blog. it seemed as if ever since my lappie went for a brainwash, i got affected as well. i cannot seem to remember lotsa stuff.. why ar. so brothers and sisters out there.. i need help!!!! i dunno wad's the thing to add into template for archives!!!

i really enjoyed this year's mooncake festival. hope u guys out there too. =)

it was empress dowager's birthday yesterday. went to eat at riverwalk hotel. or some river something hotel. the food i should say not good. service also. and it's expensive! but i enjoy this kind of big family gatherings. can laugh and chat. the kids.. or rather the little army of kids playing and playing. had fun but defintiely not a satisfying meal.

Your Brain is 60% Female, 40% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Your IQ Is 100

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Average Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

i watched the proposal show tonight and up till now, i'm still in the sweet mode stage. wooo.. the girl is so daring. i envy her daring-ness. and her courage to love. i remember telling my friends last time i always wanted a hong hong lie lie thunder and lightning type of r/s. i guess did it, over it already. love to the max... did many crazy things. no regrets at least. this is how i want my r/s to be. with no regrets. tt's the first impt criteria. but to ve the courage to propose in public.. as a female.. woah. tt's really woah. that girl is so cute. she sae it has always been her dream to propose to him. tt's soo sweeetttt.. sooo sweeetttt. i feel so sweetened. i feel so sweeet... hong hong lie lie. ya. i nv wanted to be plain and nv wanted to be unspecial. this is how i am. and this is how i want to be till the day i ve 2 legs in the coffin. this reminds me a little of nana. her courage in things she do and in love. i need to be courageous. to fight for things i want and want to love. woaaaah... i feeel sooo swweeettttt.... i ve been smiling since 830 to now mans.

anyway, point being. it's time to let free. and let go. let wild and let loose. i wanna do things i like and things tt will make me happy. i wan to do things wadever they may be. so i will not live in regrets. live is not short but not long either. live to the fullest!!!! so do i sound like some advertisement? ahahha... but even so, i will not join talentime. i will not be laughing stock for many people out there! i noe u guys cannot wait to laugh rightttt.

the usual thing tt happen in my daily routine. knocking or bumping myself against non-living things... just hurt my third finger. ouuuccch. i m amazed how i do it. seriously i am. i cannot wait for friday!!! friday firday friday!!!!

firstly... sincerely speaking from the bottom of my heart.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMELIA. so sorry tt i did not remember at 12 midnight. but still.. i wished u!!! i will make it up to u sometime sooon. dun be angry with me, k.. and dun disown me, k??? =)

today... HAPPY CHILDREN's DAY!!! want to buy tt boy something but dunno wad. how should i spend tmr.. putting bd one side of course. lol.. i'm procrastinating. i noe it and yet i still do it. something i dislike caused me not to want to do it or like it. but it's all mental attitude and it can be changed. i know what's my biggest problem to work on for pschology class already. i wanna change n alter my mental attitude. i like bd.. i wan to work!!!! i wnt to work for it. till the end of this last sem in school.

seriously, the most bugging problems i ve in mind is after graduation. study first? work first. if study... do i even qualify for a uni. even if i so lucky, do qualify.. study wad. den next, working, work as wad. quite interested in being a secretary. it's like pop.. suddenly this thing just come into my head. and i'm quite hot about it. maybe it will die off.. i dunno. my future.. is a blank. black blank.

i like to see my week planned out nicely. this way, i can anticipate anything. good changes in between is ok.. but not bad ones. they spoil my week like anything. i also say i want to grow up quic. to get out of the hse, to earn my income. to start out on my own. to only ve myself to listen to and not the naggings of my mum. maybe it's a sign like how i always believe? for me to be able to catch tt show on tv and tell myself never to rush into any stage of my life. the bad thing about life is it can never be repeated but the good thing is tt it doesn;t ve to be repeated if we lead it well. i thank god that whenever i m lost or very stubborn into a thought tt i neglect everyone ard me, he always show me some signs. oh well.. i will want to think it's his works. it's signs. he noes i believe in signs. =)

so.. happy meal tmr? happy is wad matters. right?

Favourites
favourite colour: White
favourite food: Fish beehoon
favourite song: All Fish Leong's songs
favourite movie: Click
favourite sport: Jogging
favourite day of the week: Friday
favourite season: Autumn
favourite ice-cream: Ben & Jerry's marcha mellow

Currents
current mood: Light-hearted, happy
current taste: Prawn noodles
current clothes: Looney tune shirt and shorts
current deskstop: Some xp default wallpaper
current toenail: No colour
current time: 14.12
current surroundings: TV and clicking of the mouse
current annoyances: BD and future.. work or uni
current thoughts: have to go fight evil monk.. sians

First
first best friends: Joanne Chua
first crush: The pair of twins who live above gm
first movie: Jurassic Park
first lie: Something about coming home late in pri sch
first music: cannot remember

Lasts:
last cigarette: none
last drink(alcohol): beer
last car ride: when edwin drove me and eve to acs
last crush: should be nic
last movie: John Tucker must Die
last phone call: From my boy
last CD played: Jay's latest


Have you ever
have you ever dated your best friend: no
have you ever broken the law: littering and stealing when young
have you ever been arrested: by the provision shop lady
have you ever skinny-dipped: no
have you ever been on tv: yes.. that dreadful chi variety tt i was commented fat
have you ever kissed someone you don't know: this ans has to be no

5 things you are wearing: White T shirt, Blue short, pink undies, black scrunchie and brown hair pin
4 things you done today: Brush teeth, eat, play jx2 and watch tv.
3 things you can hear right now: Clicking of mouse, tv and the fan
1 thing that you do when you're bored: play jx2

i wonder where's 2?

the first tuesday after school started. it started with knowing about temperaments and ended with psychology. so much of understanding human behaviours and also understanding how my mind works. in the near future, i will be able to understand myself better, know how my temperaments work. with other people around. how i can get myself better, how i can blend in with people. how i can make relationships work. i hope to gain alot out of this. and certainly the part about knowing myself.

gonna get busy. i can see it. everywhere is bumpy and hurting. i got ulcer.. i got papercut. hurting here and there... knocking everywhere i go. gosh.. wad a klutz i am. i dun like this... grrrrrrrrrr

why issit that they can be happily ever after. it irks me like crazy. this is so unfair. let me die in my own self pity...

dead

feel free to use my tagboard as a chatroom. two things. first can liven up my tagboard.. second i also can read wad are u two talking about mah. ruina sounds familiar.. ve i seen her name sumwhere. in angel's blog? or somewhere else.

school's starting tmr. no more lingzhier for me. maybe a while at night. but i dun think i would ve the time. sad to sae.. never do much on my fyp also. people who read this.. shhhh and dun tell anyone, k. =/ a good thing is i finally managed to slot in gym timings. things are starting to get on track and the train's going off already. i guess with school starting, maybe i can blog more. cos no more lingzhier wad. i will miss her.... ahahaha.... there's still sat night though..

this time round with school starting, i dun ve the urge to buy new bag or any new stuff for school. feeling so broke that got no mood to go shopping or whatsoever. siansss.. when is october coming. tmr's amelia t's bdae!!!! angel.. if u read this.. remember to wish her, k!

it's been quite some time since i last slept early. think tonight will be the night. i will leave the girl there to mine the whole entire night and see wad she gets in the morning. anyway.. kong.. u are getting more and more addictive i reckon. seriously.. somebody stop her. at least i ve self disipline.. right right!!! so amelia.. ve u figured out who's kong. angel.. u started playing already?? i can be ur shifu. apart from the virtual world one.

sometimes out of the blue.. i ve some questions tt always dun ve an answer. like in our neighbourhood, when there's a whole nest of red ants being disturbed and there's a large group of them on the street.. who is the one tt clears them away? cleaner?? road sweeper? if it is.. how do they do it? is really a large nest of red ants.


so about my photo taking.. we can always start soon.. like our usual fridays. but i m feeling fat and ugly.. so.. hmmmm.... nonetheless.. hols coming to an endd.... grrr. =/

wad's the best way not to spend any money? the right answer is to stay home and play game so tt's wad i ve been doing. unhealthy sitting down the whole day. till my legs and back ache.. but wad to do, i'm cashless mans. i can only resort to doing this. entertaining with money saved. really detest this kind of feeling. yuck...

things are more or less in place now. it just needs some direction and planning and also some organisation

and dal.. i really did spend my life savings.. 99.99999%

hey hey hey... here's my entry once again. am sorry to keep u all waiting and waiting.. really sorry. ok.. shall update on wad i have been doing these days. or rather most of this holiday tt's gg to end in a week's time.

well.. i admit i ve been neglecting this blog. all i do when i oome online is to play games. been pretty hooked to this new game.. yea.. angel is right. my pretty lingzhier. ve been playing all night.. cos in the day is my boy's time. laptop has been down since the first week of the holidays.. but now, it's finally repaired. have been using his laptop this whole holidays tt it felt wierd using back my own laptop. the difference in screen. the size and all.. my laptop is soo soo puny as compared to his. i feel so funny.. staring at a much smaller screen. and i mean.. it really seems like a much much smaller screen. but all's well and fine. my laptop is repaired. just ttt all pictures gone.. hey girls.. let's go take more pics. i need more memories!!! i need i need... and also lost some collage tt i did.. cos no more pictures. and also my music. and also some wallpaper. alot alot alot!!! grr... but i'm happy my lappie's fine and working. tt's impt.

so.. i've signed up for a gym as well. with my life savings. no exaggeration with that. seriously, it's life savings. once again.. pls donate to the leona funds. it's depletinggggg..... =/

ate grouper today. we cooked. since soo logn since we ate homecooked. sick of promfet so we decided to try grouper. big.. thick and ex. ahahha.. we are supposed to be saving money but wad the... it's sunday. sunday shall now be named as splurging and enjoying day. the rest all eat bread!!!

happy with my little update?? last week of holidays.. date me out mans.. or no more. =)

back to gmae

thanks girls for ur concern. this past week of so called holidays have really been tough on me, for some strange reason. cannot really enjoy. date me out please... bring some enjoyment to my life before the school starts. think i might suffer from serious depression without something happy now.

daddy like little boy like tt.. went supermarket and spent 80 bucks. i didn't actually see it but mum claims tt he keeps throwing things into the basket. keep taking.. thought tt was pretty cute. but mummy very angry.. cos end up. she is the one who paid the 80 bucks. den ar, daddy got fine 30 bucks. mummy got even angrier cos she sae he ratehr pay gov than split the ntuc bill with her.

it's about money again right....

as the only child, i'm given the attention that i didn't know i desire. as i grew up, the attention i was always given seems to come so naturally that i didn't know i actually desire them. now that it is taken away from me, i realised how much i so desire. when i was young, i wilfully think that how can anything else be more important than me. than wad i want. than who i want. and yes.. of course, so naturally, what i want and who i want comes to me.

i never know that how selfish this kind of thought is until i fell in love. cos something tt i thought always come so naturally, which is something i so desire, is so hard to get. why am i brought up this way. in this environment with people sheltering me all the way that i dun even know that falling is pain and unbearable. and how to pick myself up. but of course, i learnt. i finally did. so naturally once again. i thought i've become stronger and much better than before. at least i noe falling hurts but i also noe how to pick myself up. i thought nothing can beat me again. i mean even if it does, i will noe how to handle it.

but... i guess upbringing goes right into the roots way deeper than anyone can think of. cos i'm being so protected once that i forgot there's many other ways of hurting besides falling. there's silence, there's abandoned, forgotten, loneliness. so many other feelings, so many ways of getting to me. i'm supposed to learn one by one.. how to get up from one by one. one single one by one. every single one.

whose fault is it here. i want to noe. but after getting answer.. where do i proceed from then... so lost. so sucky.

slight more than a week since holidays started. my mood hasn't got better. worse? i hope not and i don't want to admit it either. not to myself or anyone. i just dun wanna think that a precious holiday will be ruined by bad feelings. i just want to enjoy myself during holidays. is that too much to even ask for?

today's sunday. rest and relax. i'm gg to plan out a nice week ahead. notice.. i have to keep saying i just want.. i'm gg to. why do i feel like i'm just trying to convice myself.

urrggg...... i hate this.

it's the holidays and the start to my screwed life. well, i shouln't put it tt way. however, i cannot describe it better any other way. nonetheless.. i will stay positive. laptop's down. gotta get it done at the cost of 80 bucks. mum's on leave. painting the whole house, making me smell the poisonous air. the start of the month never comes. lack of cash, making me even grouchier than i already am. fed up, hot tempered, plus the weather's not helping. i feel so..........

i won't be surprised if one day u chose to leave. cos if i were to look back, there were many times u could have already said bye.

oppressed, defendless.

i hate this. i hate u. i really do. i'm never good enough. dunno issit for u or for others to see. i'm never good enough for u to praise. i'm never good enough to u for others to see. i'm not good enough for toehrs to see. i dun even understand why should i have to put on an act. just so tt others would see how good am i. i did one thing.. u never notice.. and u tok about the rest. no matter wad i do... it goes un noticed and i hear the same old song again. so is now even if i d or not.. i still have to see ur un satisfied face. who's not getting a life.. who's not getting good relationship with others. why does it always have to be u right and i wrong. why issit tt u have to always look at me and show me tt un satisfied face. i never felt this for a long time already. but i'm tired. u dun even noe the whole picture. and yet u can come out with ur own version? wad the... u ve ur own version... so do i. u think i'm horrid.. so do i thin kabout u. why do u always have to do this to me. wad's wrong with u. no.. or should i sae.. wad's wrong with me.. i'm not good enough issit? u need someone better?? i'm so tired of u'.

í'm so tired of this house and this family... i'm tired.

the word frequency kept coming up in my head. thanks to chin. she brought the word up and i cannot stop using it. it's like chin and my common frequency would definitely be food related. other than tt, we ve no other frequency tt is connected. lol.. is like.. i might say i can do do this myself.. it's really ok. really.. and she would sae.. yaya.. i understand.. but yet, she would still come over. lol.. okok.. this is our joke.

watched break up. wanted to catch it alone. so glad i did not. i dun like the ending. they really broek up!!! =( every show tt i watch seems to evoke lotsa emotions in me. yes, i'm being all goeey and emotional yet again. cherish, treasure, appreciate. wad is the meaning of all these words. maybe to a certain extend, i cannot use these words as yet when i couldn't do so myself. and why is it tt i haven't reach tt level. am i expecting too much, hoping for too much. or am i just never satisfied. i dunno. all i noe is i fear and tt fearing makes me feel like i lost. the battle. to myself. i fear myself. i'm starting not to understand tt tangled mess in me again.. like in the past. i'm being pathetic all over again. pathetic with a capital P. oh.. how great to start the so called fulfilling holidays tt i so desire.

first thing to do: cut my nails. and crash and burn neopets. lol.

received something sweet in the mail today. =)

"mei mei bei zhe yi ge tan ke qiang(che)?!"

this is my birthday song. my 19th birthday song.. dedicated to me by those dear girls of mine. well... how special. luckily, i get to hear the original one tt normally people hear as well. but anyway, thanks girls. thanks for this mini prelude. i'm so glad i ve u guys in my life. =)

thanks to those who remembers my birthday. a wishing message simply made my day. i collected quite a few smiles today already. i'm so blessed. indeed i am. i thank god for all these people in my life. i really do. it's always on this day tt i feel ultra thankful. birthdays will never be the same wthout all of u guys. and we will ve a long long way down.

thanks for all the gifts.. and eve.. u got one of my email wrongly.. i dun have any yahoo ones. and thanks my boy... for the gift. i can see the effort and i do appreciate. thanks.... i still want tt watch!! lol.. here he will sae i m thick skin again... but oh wells.. it's still MY BDAE!!! i call the shots!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!!!

i declare the best place to study would be airport. i can concentrate the best there and study up to 5 hours straight. but one thing's bad.. i have to constantly worry that people would chase us off. i can be really thin skin when it comes to such things and today.. we did got chased off. when the person told us we cannot study there.. i literally cannot wait to get my butt off that cushy seat and disappear. it's the weekends... too bad for us. but luckily.. ronald opened his arms widely to us.. and we sat there for as long as we liked.. and the staff even offered us plain water. lol... i was surprised.

i should think fia is to be feared more than ea. i think the paper would be sly and cunning.. hard to predict. ea's all there.. depends whether u want to put in effort to study or not. well.. i fear fia. alot....

i always like my birthdays celebrated in a happy, crowded and merry way. in pri sch and sec sch... it always coincide with exams or tests. that's why when i come poly.. i was so happy.

but looks like my wish will not be granted this year.

happy birthday, singapore! happy national day!! amelia.. are u out on an oh-so-hot date now?? with one person extra? why u never reply my message this morning?? too busy dressing up!?? hmmm.. now i know what will my girl be like when she gets a bf next time. i will be so dumped. =/

2006 national day... i received a bottle. to symbolise a promise. 2006 national day... we ate soggy fried rice. lol... this is indeed a good story to tell in the next few decades to come.

maybe i was in the singaporean mood. i decided to play monopoly.. the singapore version. hmm.. am i good or what. buy my boy lost to me yet again. i think i made him damn demoralised cos of it. he sae it seems impossible to play monopoly when right from the beginning he noes he will lose. lol. i understand how u feel. i really do. maybe when i get the fifa wc version.. u will do better?? cheer up mans!! =)

this is soo sooo coool... gives me power. thanks angel. ahahha

http://leona.youaremighty.com/

thanks to those whom have been very concerned with how my studies are progressing. it's fine. maybe a little slow.. but still fine. thanks!

i hope to be able to finish quite a bit of studying tmr so that maybe i can go watch fireworks not only tmr night but also on national day night?? hmmm.. but me alone study finish also no use. i need that boy to finish too. dun want him to always feel so obligated to do whatever i want or to go wherever i want.

airport is such a god place. =) i can't wait for tmr.... =)

i'm so into boardgames lately. i just went into yahoo auctions and i saw so many nice monopoly boardgames. with so many many editions. i'm so into monopoly nowadays.. there's the disney version, star wars, hongkong, new zealand, surfing, mouintaining, racing.. so many many types. i want it all mans... i'm gg to be a monopoly collector.. but they are already 90 yrs old i think. i saw they have a limited 17th yr anniversary edition and also a 70 yr one. woah.... they most recent one i saw is the wc fifa monopoly edition tt i think is simply soo sooo cool. my future hse must be big enough to store all my monopoly game sets. right now.. i already ve the singapore and the normal one.. i aim for more more more.

in edition.. i saw this boardgame and popular at tampines mall.. dividends. it's a stock mrket board game.. i think tt's soo coool as well. am i mad or wad.. but all board games are so so cooool. i wanna collect collect collect!!!!

anyway.. thanks amelia. for everything. i love u...

dalala dalala... lol.. this is dal's nick but i'm using it to express my feelings instead. anyway, welcome back amelia! i'm like always welcoming u back these days?? can u stop going away. at first i didn't noe u are going camp. as in i forgot... den i was like thinking eh.. these days how come never see amelia online. until i talked to samuel. then i remembered u were at camp. but dun get me wrong. he wasn't the one who reminded me. i remembered coincidentally when he was toking. anyway.. as u can tell... u were our conversation topic on one of the days. lol... dalala dalala. hey.. thought u were supposed to message me one of the days?? u sae u were selling something? hmmm...

great day... the second part was. my high spirits definitely has something to do with the weekends are coming nearer, projects all cleared. =) wanted to eat at new york new york today as i promised him to give him a treat. but it seemed crowded.. with lotsa reservations signs on the table.. so we ended up at suntec basement.. walking one round and decided on swensons. and with gelare as desserts... ahahah.. time passes so fast... and i guess both of us are really tired... with little sleep these past few days. so here i am home now. supposed to be waiting for his message.. but i think ar.. he fell asleep already.

i need a few things to start my revision soon.. like new pens.. files.... yes.. revision is something tt cannot be pending.. i got to start soon. so that i can enjoy on my birthday.

dalala dalala... =)

suspended in the daydream, you twist and tear.
Adorned in the colours of your destiny.
A lie to prevent the loss of your precious
Somehting is lost to a lie
A frayed edge betraying your deceit
All at the sight of one phrase

i've been immersed in the world of ratios, p/l statements, balance sheets and cashflows. and finally, i'm done. hmm.. i won't say it's a piece of work that i'm proud of. but like what dal say, it's the effort he's looking for right. please please.. see my effort mans. i can you tube earlier. like tonight??? lalala~~~eveeeeee.. are u jealous?

i can't wait for tmr to be over and done with if anyone knows what i mean.

maybe things are looking better for me? i certainly hope so.

i'm so glad i decided to meet up with my girls after all today. i'm actually in my best mood now ever since the start of this week. maybe it's the tgif thing but i'm sure our usual friday night in with the guess show helped a greal deal. i'm feeling alot better than any other days in this week. thanks alot girls.. although most probably, angel will only read it. never mind, help me convey to the rest, k.. i really appreciate it.

very very much appreciate all the little gestures of concern i received from pple. really. this week has been rough for me. my morale has not been this down since a long time already. downcasted like the grey skies threatening that a storm's ahead. moods to the very extreme big B-- bad. and really sorry how badly i may ve mistreated my boy.

i ve to admit, i'm pretty lucky through out my entire life. i knew that when i came to deal with the fact tt i cannot handle stress. simply speaking, i break down. needless to say, someone who still has difficulty managing stress and anger suck most at handling something tt i cannot do anything about. people always sae we only learn to treasure things when we lose them or in jeopardy in losing them. i totally agree. but on the other hand, if i never go through this, i would not noe how to treasure or even learn how to. it's a must go through process i would say. this week has really been rough and tormenting. it became clear to me tt i started rejecting helping hand and support tt it suddenly occured to me tt i'm recoiling. away from life, away from pple. this is so familiar and once part of my life. but i met friends. i met pple who changed my life. so i ve no intention of repeating tt part of myself to disappoint pple whom care for me and whom i care for. so i reach out to the many hands available. and open up, it's a good start isn't it? or i would start living my life like a recluse all over again.

so it's another learning lesson in my life. no biggie yea? i certinaly hope i can handle it. so i still say i'm so glad i had my little gathering with my girls. it's really the thing i need before i drop.

it's a turning point. it definitely is.

i cannot help but think what a lucky girl she is. i know two things cannot be compared. but it's just a thought. her love never hit her hard on the head... always cushioned back by his love for her. if only i was in that shoes....

nonetheless.. it's just a random thought, on a random night. i'm a big nana fan all of a sudden. angel.. if u see nana movie... the girl who acted as nana.. sux!! she's just not cool enough to pull if off. she went as far as trying so hard to act cool only. =/

amelia.. at camp... jia you!!!

 

my frozen roses 

i'm surprised to see angel's little message and even more surprised to see the time she typed the message. i mean.. hello girl?? aren't we supposed to watch the guess show together tat that time!!?? naughty naughty.. doing it right under my nose. but i'm slow enough to find out only now... lol. anyway... here's update.. in case girls out there nag at me once more.

today is my chinese birthday!!! dunno why but it seems like a big deal to me this year.. usually, i dun even care. maybe cos today marks a special day as well. anyway. early in the morning.. mummy cook mee sua for me. to think i thought and trusted that her mee sua improved.. no more use spoon scoop that type. today is the same thing again. i think is cos she added alot of ingredients. that's why. the noodles seems so much, the ingredients. which totally suck away any soup that's remaining. but anyway, thanks mummy. it's nice to eat. i finished everything, k! and even wash the bowl and clean up.

after which, i waited for my boy to come. he said he needs to come over my place to put something in the fridge. and also partly cos he noes that i wun get ready so fast. come to think of it.. i took like at least more than an hour to get ready today, right? anyway.. i can't sae i'm surprised and clueless that's hé is giving me something today. or else i will totally sound like some ulu pandan pumkpin.. acting all innocent and retarded at the same time but i must admit. i didn't expect him to give wad he give.. i noe it will be related to flowers.. but yet.. i just cannot put the pic together until i saw wad he did today. i even thought he's gg to use the bottle to put a rose in and deco or something. but none of the sort.. he gave me frozen roses... it's really unique. even better if there's nitrogen liquid... but nvm.. i really apprecaite it.. =) it's pretty. i'll take a pic of it later. thanks alot.

after which, i planned a day that will fully make use of all 4 trips of our mrt concession and a dinner and tiong bahru and then esplanade. it was first to town to walk walk.. den to tiong bahru.. den to city den back home. exactly 4 trips. lol.. i thought rajainn close down... but they didn't. in fact.. they kinda revamp the menu a little.. and buisness look not too bad. den rooftop at esplanade. finally.. can go there as a couple, instead of being one of those people who go there make noise and disturb couples only. but nowadays ar.. rooftop at esplanade is nothing already. it's crowded with muds.. making a whole lot of noise.. oooh... not to mention, i ate nice yummy waffles today as desserts!!! yaynesss~!!! little boy.. promise me more of such days will come, k?? less of stuck home days... =) oh.. and let's visit more of marketplace too!!!?? i noticed we got alot of things to put in "our home" next time yea. ahahha

oh.. eve.. i saw the evil woamn and sad boy couple today. he's even carrying her bag for her.. handbag summore. speaking of that ar, i really think woman who wants their bfs to carry bags for them are wierd to the max!!! it makes ur bf look henpecked and not the least bit macho, and not only that, how heavy can a small handbag be? i'm not even toking about bag.. i'm toking about HANDBAGS!!?? and if that puny handbag is tt heavy.. DUN BRING!!! grrr.

ok. enough updates?? =)

hello update :)

-gel

my shit motivator is back! and just like i told her, she ges all the bad things out of my system and out of my life... keeping me fresh to await for new stuff.. nutrients. lol... i wanna graduate!! and join u sooon! maybe after we hanged out more.. i will become a regular shit person already. right!!?? meet up soon. i wanna see my disney products! and phucket tibits!! i love my shit motivator. and please, my dear girl, although ur new life will start again pretty soon. like a new chapter.. i'm not just any old chapter.. but a bookmark for u to bring along in every other new chapters u go to. so dun forget me in days of loneliness. am always with u. =) love u!!!

the long awaited. in less than an hours time is the start of the final match of world cup. italy vs france. have been keeping myself updated this whole month.. staying up late to watch. and also betting. and also new aspirations. lol. i'm gg to miss world cup once it ends.. but i await the next one in 4 years time.. by then, i will becoem a bookie. (oops.. not supposed to say in public. later get caught, based on this statement) lol.

things will end. eventually. but that doesn't stop me from looking forward to the arrival of new things. looking forward to my dreams. new hopes. and new drive. my shit motivator is right... i do need to self flatter at times. to keep myself going
if i dun, i will find it really tiring working so hard cos i will feel like i'm not making ny progress so occasionally its good to flatter myself abit. and also work hard and play hard. i ve a goal already. tt's when the full force of drive comes in. =)

i love tsubasa!

amelia is in hong kong now. and i bet she's enjoying herself big time! i make sure i go on a big holiday next year after i graduate to spite her while she's in uni. i'm jealous mans. i hope she buys something good back for me.. a watch?? may be fake.. but if it's so real, i would gladly accept it. hahha.. nd her last msg to me was on sunday early morning tt she hate france.. i concuseed after tt night's match tt i only saw her message the next afternoon. so i cannot reply... but here's the reply... i like france!! dun hate them. realised we always like different things?? but it's quite cool lah... cannot imagine us liking exactly same stuff. bet we wun be this close if we do.

and the reason why i'm even talking about her is cos here i am studying for my test tmr... tt i cannot stop my mind from thinking wad a good time she's having over there. and i cannot help it when my heart turns green upon that thought. i'm so tired.. i dun feel like studying. i wanna sleep. and tmr got match.. lol.. world cup is totally turning my life a little upside down. but it's well worth. 4 years once.. lol.. maybe next 4 years.. i take one month off from work to watch. if it can ever happen. oh wait.. wad i toking about. of course it can happen... i'm gg to be my own boss. right amelia?? see.. i'm thinking about her again. ahha.

bd.. cf... matches.. ea... i wanna clear all these!! and on top of it all. i wan to sleep!

waking up in the morning with you beside is something i can definitely get accustomed to. doubts and insecurities are always cleared with every single one of ur embraces. right now at this very moment, there's no doubt a bit at all.

is this the end?

the stretched piece of rubber band, sometimes a little over-stretched.
when would it break?
the water at 70.
when would it boil?
the unawaken fiery deep within.
when would it wake?
the tests and trials right in front
when would i fall?
the uncomfortable weather
how long can it be used repeatedly by escapists like us?

all tensed up for the match right in front but all emotionally choked up right inside. everytime i am down. i never fail to read the scrapbook made by those angels sent to me by god. i know behaviour not allowed. it even used to be a taboo. cos i'll end up just hurting myself but i'm falling deeper into this black suction call habit. i know i'm a bad girl. i know i only pray when i need to be consoled. can i look for excuses such as getting back at wad i deserved. i know the answer. and that sonner, everything will surface. something's got to go. someone got to cry. and i'll end up standing alone in the dark, seaching for that light i so longed for once again.

is this the beginning of the end...

school's starting pretty soon. there goes my enjoyment. quite stuck to youtube. okok, to a particular pi-in-training out there, u will laugh. hooked to youtube. why does it sound so familiar. yea.. holiday's ending. hmmm... didn't do much. but i'm not guilty about it. i need to enjoy before i start to pia right?

i told you that you didn't love me yet you insisted. i tried to tell you that you didn''t understand love at all. and yet u insisted. u made me believe you. then with a blink of an eye.. this had to happen. i'm not surprised because i already know you didn;t love me the way you thought you did. so why do i feel they way i am feeling now. totally disappointed with my own trust and instincts. shouldn't have believed you right from the beginning. right.

watching germany vs sweden now. i love sweden. the guys. but i know germany will win. they already scored 2??? anyway, i like germany's jersey. =)

testing my memory.. final 16: germany, ecuador, england, sweden, mexico, argentina, brazil, france, italy, spain, ukraine, ghana, switzerland, portugal, holland. cannot remember the last one... hmmmm..... too lazy to check. =)

when i read it one year ago, i cried. when i watched it now. it still hurts so much tt it makes me cry. the pain that he has to go through. imagine someone u love so dearly completely erases u out of his/her memory. i truly admired the way he dealt with it as well as his willpower and courage. it's not always weak to cry... sometimes, you need strength to cry when you want to. to be able to cry when u need, is a form of strength as well. i remembered learning this hard about one year or more ago.

it's not about looking back anymore. it's looking straigh and focusing when there are more important things to be done. this is where derermination sets in.

yawns. another night of tiredness... totally skipped soccer last night. but not tonight. am gg to catch all matches. there's japan.. and my fav. goalkeeper. and also brazil. tonight's matches will be exciting.. winning or losing determines whether they are in or out.

as much as i wanna watch soccer, i need to tune my body back once again. if this goes on when school starts, i will only freak myself out with stress... self inflicted.

it's already the later part of week 3.. which signifies the end of hols. i dun really want to be reminded of this.. but cannot help it. every single day tt passes without doing anything constructive bugs me. i need my day to be well spent. this also shows that the up-tightness of my emotions towards the start of school is. woah.. pressure pressure. all self-inflicted.

ever since tt silly amelia is bad, she's speaking something foreign tt i dun understand. lol.. back to the days of toro here, energy there. now she's torres here.. spain there. amazingly.. why all the guys u like all start with t one ar. maybe her bf next time will bear the name of .. terrence, hmm, am at a lost. no other t names... but she ar.. still a dreamere. sae she wanna learn spanish to communicate. she's crazy.. speaking a torres crazy lang. which i dunno and dun wish to learn. ahahahah... when am i ever like this mans. but anyway amelia.. u are being missed. missed watching soccer with u. if only those matches u were away and we watched together... got so much to sae den and there.

i totally concussed last night. this is what happens when one gets too much of soccer. within one week or 2 weeks, i dunno how many hours i slept only. i'm sure it's below wad my body needs. dun really like the way tonight's soccer is arranged. 2 matches at a time. meaning constant sqitching around. and further more.. there's still the 3 am one. england's playing at 3 am!!! must climb up to watch once again. luckily i slept early last night or else that boy wun let me watch tonight's matches.

amelia!!! ever since u left.. i got soo many things to tell u. actually, it's only on tt day. sunday's matches tt i got stuff to tell u. decided to blog it down in case i forget. that first match, japan vs croatia.. did u see.. there's this couple there. jap pple.. and they carried a sign tt said.. we are HONEYMOONERS!!! ahahaha.. already got pple do le.. so urs not tt special anymore. hmmm.. come to think of it.. i cannot really remember wad else i wanted to sae. i noe there are others. hmmm.. nvm. if i can remember, i'm sure my this over-developed brain will be even more developed.

and lastly... calls out to angel!!! are u ok???? hmmm.. ever since u went malaysia, u seemed to ve disappeared. wonder where u've been. heelllooo!!!!??? suddenly quite worried u see.... let me noe if u're fine.

after beung half dead yest, decided to go out today. to catch a movie and eat jap food. have been craving for jap food for quite some time already. so ya.. =)

it's burger day! something angel said today made me laugh. she said i've evolved from the pasta girl i used to be to wad i am now. hahaa.. evolved. wad a word. like how she combined the word hevoc and yu le bai fen bai and said chin wants to hevoc with yu le bai fen bai. chin is a ugly girl today. wearing her nursing uniform throughout the day and washing the dishes for me. she really look like a maid. silly girl.. wad's ur name u wanna be called again? aminah or something?

my day is always a cycle. it starts with late night den waking up at 11 due to some messages tt made me either too excited to sleep or disturbing. and den.. dragging out of bed.. and then around 3 plus 4, late afternoon, i will be tired. and then when it passes 7, i'm hyper and alive once again. till the late night cycle comes back down on me.

i realised i'm in need of clothes and accessories, but i'm too lazy to shop? any solutions to this girl here who wants a new bag, a new belt, new clothes, new jeans.. basically.. i want new stuff. yet am too lazy to shop or try clothes. i'm deprived of new clothes mans. somebody is bound to laugh at the size of my wardrobe sooon. =/

argentina just scored 2 goals in 30 mins. they seemed diff from wad they were like in their first match. stronger i would sae. they are gettting better.

we're going to the zoo zoo zoo
how about you you you
you can come too too too
we're going to the zooooooooooooooooooo

i must remember to ask amelia whether she's happy next year. this particular day and time... =)

and i'm sure u will, girl!

ALICIA KEYS

"If I Ain't Got You"

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power, yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
And I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

[Chorus:]
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, Yeah

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share
With no one who truly cares for me

[Chorus:]
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah

[Outro:]
If I ain't got you with me baby
So nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

soccer is so much more fun when u hold a bet. be it with the market or with ur frens. it just makes it 100 times more interesting. not tt it's not interesting. but things do get a little repetitive when no one scores a goal or when goals seem very little. exactly like the matches the night before. some matches can really be exciting to watch. and some can be boring. like the one my tv is showing now. tunisia vs saudi arabia. holds a bet with xm. and we both lost. cos saudi scored!!! grrr.... sam is right. the ball is indeed round. hahha

okie.. as u guys might ve noticed. am a little soccer fan these days. or will be for this one mth. am willing to sacrifice other stuff. serious. i'm world cup fan. not soccer fan. even went down to singapore pools to place a bet. crosses my fingers. hope i can win something. it's the achievement.

anyway, thanks for these past 2 days or less. i do feel better. and feeling better makes me good. and if i feel good, u will too right. hmmm.. how should i put it? it always feels good when doubts are clear and the sky is blue again. all the disturbing thoughts and feelings will be gone so as long as u are here. behind me all the way. okok. side by side. lol. i've learnt to cherish and ask for less. i just want to preserve this feeling with me and smile upon it when i look back. =) thanks for making me part of ur life.

do i sound like a certain pumpkin? please let me noe if i do.. i am a little paranoid. worrying pple might be callign me a pumpkin too. haha. anyway... pple out there reading this. need a little favour. if u are interested in helpein.. lol. wad a way to put it.. anyway, msg me online and only online. thanks. =)

my first time staying up the whole night to catch 3 matches. all in one go. woah. all cos my boy stayed over to watch it with me. first match.. korea vs togo. sam and i predicted 2 for korea and one for togo. spot on mans. too bad i didn't bet. it was not too bad a match except the fact that, and amelia will agree, no cute guys to oogle at!!! second match france and switzerland. i predictied 3 for france and 1 for swiss. but it was so disappointing. nil all!!?? how can this be. sam even bet with me 4 to one. very sad. who the hell sae france is good? or is swiss good at defending. usually after the second match of the night, i will be dead tired. but i was super hyper last night. pple like my mum and amelia, all skipped the second match in order to watch the last one. the brazil one. and i have to wake the both of them up. even my boy fell asleep and he kept on nodding off during the game. and tt's why the ten missed calls to amelia. and congrats, girl. u won 2 bucks!! ahahaha...

guess it was rather disaapointing. expected brazil to score more than one. but it was just one to zero. sigh... no wonder tt boy keeps noddding off. but nonetheless.. watching soccer is fun. and if i bet... it would be twice the fun. which tt's wad i'm gg to do tonight. hahhha....

am tired. after 3 matches and only 5 hrs of sleep. zzzzz

 

white horse. pretty. but boy prefers the black one. i didn't take a pic of it. 

  

i finally went to zoo with the small boy. thought he might feel quite obligated to go cos i wanted and he didn't seem super enthu or excited the day before like me. but glad tt u enjoyed.. u did enjoy right? at least enjoy the company.. not the smell or the trip or the heat. but really hope u did enjoy. more of such trips to singapore tourists attractions can come next time right? anyway.. i kinda regret not buying the white tiger soft toy.. i wan the innocent eyes and the pretty white fur...

anyway.. watched mexico vs iran last night. mexico was superb. 2 goals straight mans. they scored one and i was busy typing to amelia cos she couldn't watch the match and den before i knew it.. in a blink, they scored another one! and den i was joking with my mum, iran is going bomb up the whole place cos they didn't win. cos iran is a terrorists country. and silly amelia, kept dancing the meixco dance. whatever tt is. and claims tt she's hot stuff. okok.. i proclaim. my ten yr fren amelia is hot stuff. do keep a look out for her. lol!

so i had to wake up at 9 after the match which ends at 2. couldn't get to sleep last night. toss and turn a while. damn tempted to watch the 3am show but i noe i was store energy for today. so ya. slept. woke up and make sandwich. just realised tt making sandwich gives me a very xin fu feeling. issit cos i'm making for someone special or issit just the making of sandwich. i think it's the latter. cos i simply enjoyed the process of making, thinking of nothing but the sandwich. lol. but never mind. i gave him xin fu feeling eating it. so it compliments.

so to the zoo we head. arguing on the way where to take to. amk or cck. in the end settled for cck. not very difficult to go zoo after all. and to think i'm near xin's hse. which means i was one end away from my own home. had lotsa fun today. though with the heat and all. walked quite alot summore. 2 rounds around the zoo. wanted to save money so didn't buy the train thingy so we walked. ahhaha. how to be white white like tt. but it was really fun!!! =) especially with my excursion little boy. okok.. he's so gg to kill me. but muacks!! as much as u like to tease me, same here. so we are fair and square.

back. dead tired. and struggling to watch my matches summore. japan's goalkeeper looks like good husband material.. tt kinda cute. hahha. and sam just told me japan sux. okok.. usa vs cze. obvious. unless miracles.

maybe i needed more attention these days from u. tt's why the feeling emerges everynow and den. am i gg to lose u or am i simply leeting my mind wander too far yet again. oh wells...

 

my small boy on excursion 

 

trying to compare? no fight mans... 

  

 

pretty girl.. 

 

drinks he prepared. our water recharger of the day. 

 

food i prepapred. 

 

i swear he posed for me!! right? 

 

my fascination for the dustbins they have there... 

 

finally.. the zoo!!!! 

we are mean but i seriously cannot stand it. gosh.. that ah s*m.. she's one hell of a childish person mans. firstly, her password is childish enough.. like wad angel said.. i was really thinking it would be something like i love blah blah.. or blah and forever. u noe tt kind. but putting tt as password. is equivalent to the same thing lah. and secondly, every entry of hers is like.. haik. she reminds me so much of someone with one one person in her world. is like she doesn't have life anymore. and she like polo tee issit??? why is she wearing and wearing it!!! for some wierd reason unknown to others and myself.. dun like her. very very much. okok.. enough bitching session.

angel may be right. maybe simplicity is the best. maybe tt's wad i should settle for. simplicity. noting more complicated than tt would be just nice.

guys... regret reading this? this is how a girl bitches. mega time mans. lol!! anyway, am turning into a soccer freak soon. i also dunno why but just very interested to watch all the matches. think i better stop. for the sake of my rest and my work. =/ butttt.......

thanks joel. should be thanking u personally at least on msn. but i'm preparing to watch my soccer match. so ya.. i noe u would be reading this. so ya. thanks for the info. u're like my guaridan angel sometimes. hahha..

germany 4 to costa rica 2. woah. i'm impressed. didn't expect the latter to score two, and esp the last goal. as i was matching the opening match last night, this thought came into my head. i noe costa rica has pretty ladies but never knew their guys can play soccer. hahaa. wanted to watch the second match badly. poland vs ecuador that i even set alarm for one hr later after the opening match. but guess i was too tired. i pressed stop instead of snooze. which is why when i woke up at 10 plus this morn and realised there is a repeat, am thrilled. =)

can't comment uch on the matches. later pple laughed or kena bang so yea. but tonight there's an england match. want to watch. but since i promised amelia and this is summoreto make up to her, i wun initiate to leave. guess i'll have to miss tt match. haha.. but no shopping amelia... i dun like shopping anymore.

yea.. month of june when there is great singapore sale and world cup. and i chose the latter. ahhha. wierd yea.. but it's a cheaper hobby u see. i'm like this flat broke girl who cannot even be bothered to dress up anymore and tt explains why i dun really like to go out too. cos dun get to dress up, not pretty.. so sian to go out. wierd logic. but yea.

anyway, was watching SI swim suit competition last night. hahaa. when u put competitive girls together, it's mega bitching mans. it just so reminds me of other shows i watch with competitive girls. why are girls always like tt. hmmm.... watched the guess show last night as well. the white white snow white girls series. make me wanna be like them!!! i also wanna be white white too. fair fair. hmmm...

yes. maybe readers have realised i watched alot of shows last night.. i did nothing but lie on the sofa and hugged my pillow. eyes totally glued to tv. lol.

back to the soccer match. tata.

 

i know this picture is a little old but i simply love it. can't wait for the converse day den i'll take another decent picture of xcyflawx's shoes. 

i realised this blog gets abandoned by me easily and i'm actually depriving it of decent entries so i'll try once again. to revive it, that is. =)

this week is e-learning week. and i'm really listening to mr goh.. enjoying week. so i'm all out to enjoy. tried to do my stuff the weekend before and although there are not much stuff to do, it's always at the back of my head. telling me i'm left with this and that. and to spoil my enjoyment a little, he had to call me and tell me to get some work done. i dun wanna appear too irresponsible or too nonchalent about the project on hand.. but i want my quality time enjoying also. i promisedto work hard already so dun i deserve a little enjoyment? haik.. but never mind. will get things settled as soon as possible.

had my chalet. it's been a long time since i went chalet. i think the last time i actually went was 2 years ago on labour day. yan's chalet. and tt was like one night only.. cos the next day had to rush for work. how super sian tt can be so i'm really glad for this chalet tt i just had. maybe next time during every holiday, i must organise chalet. it's fun. it's just cash problems. but i look forward to the next one. i just have to organise it. things always dun get done cos no one step forward to do it and since i want it.. i got to do it.

2 more weeks to holiday. and tonight is the start of world cup. dun ask me why.. but it's so attractive tt someone like me is gonna get hooked onto it really soon. was watching news last night on korean students. dey are so crazy about world cup tt tey sae the sight of teachers remind them of soccer players and the sight of text reminds them of soccer i think. something like tt. haha... my mum and i were commenting tt once in 4 years.. it's really hot stuff mans. so exctied. when i came home from chalet yest, was surprised to see a big pin up of the scoresheet type of thing in my living room. pinned on the wall. all the groups' matches, who against who. lol... whole family. even bought a world cup related mag or something for dad as papa day's gift. he's gonna love me. i'm so lovable!!! ahahaa.... okok.. dun read tt. erase it now! lol.

must plan my next 2 precious weeks well. have to do my work. as well as play hard. i must really plan this holiday well and go gm's hse soon. she called and nagged already. hmmm.... maybe i should go next week. going zoo next week too. monday i think.. definitely ext week but pending whether issit mon.

home alone today. i miss tt smelly boy. but it's good tt i'm having some quality time myself. i mean we do need personal space here and there and time to ourselves apart from one another. tt's wad everyone says and indeed... i feel goood about it too. it's so long since i stayed home alone and it really feels good. the only bad part is i would be too lazy to go out and get food. and i'll just nua at home the whole day. just watched 3 movies one shot. 2 xmas movies and one martian one.. lol...

okok.. a long and decent entry. goood. more to come.. =)

3 DOORS DOWN

"Here Without You"

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me