things can be so difficult at times. sometimes, it's within my reach, and at other times, it seem so far away. i don't know what i want. in terms of darkness and light, i feel that i've seen more darkness than light. i'm just a confused soul who thinks she knows what she wants. den at the end fo the day, with everything that she got, she still end up unsatisfied. then i ask again. what exactly do i want.

to digress about how shitty i feel right now... i wannn xmas songs!!! i wan to feel the xmas atmosphere. but i dun have much xmas songs. wanna fill a bit of these songs into my mp3.. to get the mood. holidays are drawing near.. and let me emphasise again.. my holidays are on !8!!! which is one and a half week more... no dates till den. and please.. make my holidays meaningful. i dun wanna spend the last of 2006.. thinking how pathetic or how dark i've became. maybe i need a stranger.. someone whom i can trust enough to tok.. but not close enough to reveal my tots to others.

amelia.... ur cruise is tempting.. but ur kl.. nono.. 18 to 21 right??? i hv a party on 20 or 21 leh.

i wan a fruitful holidays... a meaningful one. wish i could go for some self-discovery camp all over again. i'm sure i will find back the thing or the light i want.