best girlfriends a girl could ever ask for! 

today's officially the last day of holidays. just saw brandon's nick and he said, this is one of the best holiday he ever had. in fact, it applies to me as well. this holiday is the best one ever since i came to poly. fruitful, meaningful and fun. i have to agree with eve, i quite like fast paced life too.

spent this last day of hols with boon and angel. went to watch madagascar. cute!! was in the cinema with mostly parents and their children. nice, relaxing movie for a change as compared to my recent few, mostly horror and thrilling ones. maybe when little ashley grow older, i wld bring her to the movies as well. =)

bought quite a number of stuff. comic craze starting again. mum is officially leaving me to take charge of the household starting in june. lots of planning required and i'm gonna learn how to cook proper meal. no more instant stuff for me!

i can't wait for my brand new start. i've always like new beginnings. it just gets really routine after sometime. hopefully, this time wld be different. i want a change. i mean it.

waiting for bus out of sentosa 

stoned and red from beer 

my favourite shot of all 

yan and chin in the water 

me on chin's shoulders! 

and then she fire-lifted me 

chin piggy back me 

us in water 

all 3 of us! 

nice weather 

2 of my favourite girlfriends 

chin and i 

yan's salad 

my sandwiches 

palawan beach 

fop finally ended and relatively well, i would say. suddenly became free all over again. quite not used to it. i started missing those days of preparation. ha.

woke up early at 8 this morning to prepare for my day to sentosa. made sandwiches, packed my beach bag, including cans of beer. initially, it was only yan, chin and i going to the beach but angel msged me to ask me out so i asked her along and she said yes! so i packed in clothes and bikini for her too. teacher came at 9 plus. she bought bread for me. nice. so while she nagged at me for not doing homework and being panicky that my organ exams is coming and i'm not the least bit prepared, i was chewing happily on my bread. hahaa.

organ lesson ended at slightly past 10 so she gave me a lift to toa payoh station. from there i rushed down to habourfront to meet the rest. was supposed to meet at 11, but i was slightly late. on the way to sentosa, it was drizzling. we were a little disappointed and worried. but nonetheless, we just lay our mats and begin the picnic.

got yan to prepare salad, chin to prepare snacks and plus my sandwiches. our alcoholic chin decided tt my 3 cans of beer just wasn't enough for her, she went to buy 6 more cans of beer! crazy one lah. we ate, chatted and had lotsa fun. den the sun came out and we started our tanning session. i want the weather to be good but it was so good till it was scorching hot! we caught the noon sun tt's why. i dun even wan a tan in the first place so i applied lots and lots of sun block on myself. while the 3 of them applied lots of tanning oil.

ahaha, it was so hot tt angel, yan and i cldn't take it so we went into the sea. swam a distance.. leaving chin to tend our things. she cannot get into water. (girls should noe why one can't get into water) when we came back after like maybe 30 miuntes or so, found her as red as lobster and onto her third can of beer!! gosh... after my swim, was tired. so i rested, read a little and fell asleep. by i woke up, was shocked to find tt it was close to 5. all of us slept till den. it was diff to wake chin up, guess she was feeling tipsy still. she was very stony. when i got her to piggy back me, she was like cannot balance properly. chin sae i grew heavier. i trust her words cos she has been piggy backng me since sec 3. ahaha.

we decided to leave the beach and head to town for dinner. took quite some time bathing. chin still remained stony with a red face. went to coffee club in town to eat dinner. shopped a little and headed home.

nice day spent out. had a fun time with my girlfriends. tmr wld be a rest day at home. so long since i last stayed home. wld be resting before sch starts on mon.

great sinagpore sales starts today!! =) my love.

concussed right after i bathed. hung up the phone and turned my phone to silent mode just so i can have absoulte peace. i guessed i have so much peace that i slept right through for four hours until 7. if it's not that i'm going to eat dinner with amelia, i would have continued sleeping till tmr.

woke up at 7. decided that we would go marina for steamboat as both of us are having craving for it. this is how much our telepathy works, right girl? took train down and met her at paya lebar. started complaining to her about some stuff.

ate alot. i'm so full now. though i had a close to 9 points out of 10 session which i shall not go in gloary details for the readers sake, i'm still very bloated. nice time i had amelia, though i didn't really enjoy the extra walking.

my feet hurts so much.

what a weekend i had. i'm sore, aching and slightly burnt right now. friday was a long and tiring day and due to lack of sleep, i got very cranky. slept early on friday and woke up early on sat too.

headed down to queenstown to collect the shirts for facs and orgcom. cabbed back to school and stayed to help with the packing of stuff. didn't expect it to end in the evening. had to rush home, take a quick shower and out of the house again. met cousin in town. ate dinner at coffee club, out usual hangout. missed that place!! den we went to tcc and decided to try to be funny when we ordered our drinks. we decided to give those dubious names a try. i knew espresson was bitter but because they said they would add a scoop of ice cream, i assumed it wld be sweet. cousin warned me but i refused to listen. reegret. ahaha. we're so going back next time to give those other coffees a try! caught a movie, "the echo". it's a malay horror flick and amelia, it's really boo! horror type, not like house of wax. had popcorn but half the time, i was so busy covering my ears and eyes tt i didn't had time to eat the popcorn. my ears hurt so much when i left the cinema.

cabbed back to cousin's place and when i got to bed, it was already 4:30. we had to wake up at 6 to go for the Big Walk. before i knew it, it was 6. cousin didn't even sleep at all. we had to ps to take a shutter bus to national stadium and started the walk. the sun was freaking hot today. i bet half of singapore prayed for good weather tt's why it was blazing hot. we walked from the stadium all the way to esplanade and then u-turn. it was supposed to be 10km but i bet we walked more than tt cos walking into the stadium to the starting point from the main road was already so long. i bet we walked 12km or more. cousin and i joked along the way, saw many groups. until the last 2 km.. we almost died out. so tired and our feet is aching and so is my thigh muscles.

gosh, i just want to collapse now. after the bath, i feel so much better and more refreshed. spend alot this weekend. hopefully, my muscles won't ache up to tues. cannot cannot.

i feel so worn out.

everything points out to one word- insecurity.

well, i'm trying.

had organ lessons in the morning. same scenerio as every organ lesson in the morning-- stony for at least 15 minutes. can't help it. she woke me up from my sleep, had to drag myself to open the door for her. make her sit and wait while i brush my teeth and wash my face. and den stoned. and den after every ten minutes, a yawn. ahaha, today she got the yawning from me and started yawning after every 10 minutes too. k, this is the fun part. now comes the not so fun part and tt is my exam is in 4 weeks time. gosh, italian terms, orchestra instruments and composers. none of them stuck in my head yet, all floating around. guess i have to work slightly harder, don't want to disappoint her and myself.

towned after that. can't believe it, i can't find a single top when i walked up and down orchard at least twice. why!? because i've grown fatter and i'm trying a different style of clothes. apparently, not very successful! grrr... luckily, got a pair of new shoes. quite a catch. i like. chin sae my feet is big! though i hate to admit this, but she's right. should have tied my feet like those olden woman.. den i wld have small feet. mum! why didn't i inherit ur size 4 feet but inherit ur spendthriftness! hmph... a long shopping never excludes a coffee break. my all time fav. sitting down, looking at all my victory items and sipping coffee... ahahaha

my pencil case is exploding due to the increase number of items in it and i can't find a suitable pencil case tt i like. help! no tops no pencil case.

can't stand certain people. it's ur own problem that you can't get a decent girl of ur own. tt doesn't mean we girls entertain ur cheap thrills on public transport. please. girls should always be wary of crowded public transport. and it's not fair we can't wear mini skirt or whatsoever just because stupid people out there like cheap thrills! grrr.....

waiting for many phone calls. gosh.. tired.

i finally stepped into ang mo kio today, after so long. have been wanting to go there with chin ever since i came back from perth but cos it's simply too far away from my house, so i have been putting it aside.

didn't go there with chin today though so no steamboat. instead, went to dal's house. like finally all 3 of us have been to each other's house. the reason as to why i have to travel so far and go her house is because of the fop. things seemed a little messy and we are trying to set things straight as members of the logistics team. got a little pissed off halfway, not with the 2 of them, with other people but got over it easily. i wonder if those letters have been sent out and i'm praying hard that at least one reply then our efforst won't go to waste.

mum:"told u to study dentistry then. they earn big bucks!"

dentists in singapore really earn big bucks. either that or those relatively cheap ones have to q very long. some so long until appointment all fully booked until december! gosh. i can't believe it.

though this is not the start of a new year, but i have a number of resolutions tt i'm intending to keep in the coming new year in school. i hope these are not too high expectations yet again but i resolve to try hard because i noticed, i haven't been trying hard enough and for those who wonder, i'm NOT talking about my studies.

Brian Mcfadden & Delta Goodrem - Almost Here

did i hear you right
cause i thought you said
let's think it over

you have been my life
and i never planned
growing old without you

shadows bleeding through the light
where a love once shined so bright
came without a reason
don't let go on us tonight
love's not always black and white
haven't i always loved you?

but when i need you
you're almost here
and i know that's not enough
but when im with you
im close to tears
cause you're only almost here

i would change the world
if i had a chance
oh won't you let me
treat me like a child
throw your arms around me
please protect me

bruised and battered by your words
dazed and shattered how it hurts
havent i always loved you

but when i need you
you're almost here
and i know that's not enough
but when im with you
im close to tears
cause you're only almost here

bruised and battered by your words
dazed and shattered now it hurts
havent i always loved you

but when i need you, you're almost here
well i never knew how far behind i'd left you
and when i hold you, you're almost here
well im sorry that i took our love for granted
now im with you, im close to tears
cause i know im almost here
only almost here

the long-awaited rain brings the long-awaited tears. tears i didn't even know exist. expectations are so high and so far. when i tell myself that it's ok not to pursue so hard for expectations and that some things are just not within my grasp, am i just consoling myself?

through this trip, i learnt alot about myself. the person that i thought i had become, or the person that i believed i already was didn't exist. i still have a long way to go. when i came back, my confidence was totally ripped away from me when i gradually realise false confidence caused these expecations seem to be so near and reachable but in fact, due to "parallex error", i'm still far from those expectations.

i always thought by letting myself slow down and take a break is wrong. i should always be wary and one the move. this makes me so tired. when i took a nice break from the world, i realise things could be so beautiful and yet, i didn't realise. beauty is not what i own but something i hope i can have within my grasp. i will work hard to see the beauty 'cos it doesn't come easy.

i don't want to pursue non-stop, it's tiring. maybe, i should look back and see what exactly have i missed out when i go on my pursue. i might have dropped or neglect beautiful things around me to go on my wild pursue when the most basic thing tt one needs is actually the most beautiful of all.

no matter what, i've learnt new things again. and like i always say, knowledge is something so vast and wide. learning new things about yourself and others can be quite enjoyable in a way too. to be able to learn new things every single day may turn out to be a blessing after all.

can i take a small break?
can i choose not to live up to those expectations?
they're taking all the air i tried so hard to suck in.

even if i'm no longer a princess, will i be looked down upon?
i'm not the person you thought i am
you don't know me.

give me a small break, please. i need it so badly

Your Birthdate: August 21

Being born on the 21st day of the month (3 energy) is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life. The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental. There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, "couldn't care less" attitude. You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression. Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing. You are energetic and always a good conversationalist. You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters. Your mind is practical and rational despite this tendency to jump about. You are affectionate and loving, but very sensitive. You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

just updated the pictures i took in perth --> click here

my 3 darlings came to visit me at my home. sweets 

i'm back! actually, i was back 2 days ago at 8 plus at night. i miss sinagpore, i miss my bed, i miss all my dearies. in fact, got a little homesick over there. hee. guess, there's still a long way to go when it comes to independence, i actually missed being taken care of. anyway, i'm finally back!

the trip was lovely. the highlight was the farmstay. i gave many of my first-times there. the weather's there very good!! not like sinagpore, so hot and humid. i find myself wanting to bathe every 3 hours. so sticky. ewww. i'm back only for two days and already, i can't stand the weather.

chin, boon and angel came by my house yesterday. it's really rare and sweet of them. i love them to bits!

anyway, thanks my darling amelia for recording show for me. though it wasn't perfect, but i'm grateful. really am. mahjong mahjong, i can't wait!! life is great and i'm glad i'm alive! =)