i like the bustling and hustling in my house right now. though we have only 3 people, i still like whatever minimum atmosphere of preparing for new year at my house. at least with some commotion going on, i won't feel so spaced out. seeing my mum rushing everywhere to get ready for new year, packing everything at home and dad being very naughty, teasing my mum and cracking jokes here and there, i feel slightly better than when i am outside facing other people. nothing's the problem. i just feel very lethargic, can't seem to focus or concentrate on anything. it's not due to fatigue, that i am very sure. then what is it. i really have no idea. the emptiness that i once felt is coming back to me. friends are all busy, leaving me to ponder what have i been doing instead of spending time to complete tasks at hand. sometimes in the day, i find it so hard to focus. gasping for breath. i am trying really hard, i hope things would only be temporary but i suddenly want to live a life isolated, no one can see me and vice versa. like i've learnt before, no one can help me but myself and I am not who i used to be so i'll definitely pull through and get some things accomplished. stop looking down on me if you have been because i am going to prove you so wrong that you would regret even thinking like that about me. i am not a weakling so stay out of my life if you just want to despise me!