as i see my determination being slowly scraped away, i see what's revealing behind all this determination and i don't like the sight of it. time to re-compose and get my determination to cover me up strongly once again. i'm not letting any emotions resurface... nope, i am not going to make that kind of mistake again. life's not great. i feel fat... feelings of guilt and of bursting out have made me indulged in food greatly and this would not do. time to put a stop to this mess.. get a broom and sweep it all out. only after that, i would be fine.