lots of flashbacks today. i guessed it has to do with the fact that at 4am last night, i came across this little sketchbook that was given to me by my dearest one and only darling gf. lots of memories especially about xcyflawx (did i get it right?). and also the fact that she called me today and we chatted alot. about present, about past. =) i know i was supposed to be studying but oh well, a little digression won't hurt.

remember all the little fairy tales we wrote? it started off with xinying's one, then it was chinfang's and then boon wrote one for me too. hilarious and crappy stuff but nonetheless, a very important part of all our memories. all of us dreamed of having a prince charming, sweeping us off our feet. everyone wants different type of guys and no one would ever forget tt my gf actually wants guys with lots muscles like the rock. basically, in those days, we dreamt of perfect relationship, perfect guy, perfect wedding. and ya, like i said, it's only a dream and will always be.

guess by now, everyone should experience or come across due to people around us that dreams ultimately are not reality. how many of us can get a prince charming and have a perfect relationship and get married to the one we loved the most? the probability (yes, i've been doing stats) is so small. so many of us out there wants to be love and if that's the case, who's going to love those that wants to be loved. there got to be give and take. no relationship is flawless. we must learn to accept those flaws and make the best out of it. but this can only be done with 2 persons. it takes two hands to clap you see. so what if one party wants to accept but the other party doesn't, it still comes back to nothing. even if u want to give so much, no one wants to take it, end up, u'll get hurt even more. is it worth it? love makes us behave like fools. all of us and i'm not an exception. but it's the degree of our stupidity. are we hopelessly stupid and refuse to walk towards the light when it's just right in front of us? or we can be a little silly, stumbling and falling but ultimately, walking out of this darkness. it's all in the mind, and it's all up to us.

so all my girlfriends out there, be it when it comes to relationships or other adversities, stay strong! when i'm down, i always remind myself tt i'm not alone. and because we are all friends, in fact very good friends and with me around, i ensure u that you are definitely not alone. dun sae you've given up the world because tt means u've given me up.. and i'll be =( but i'm always here, at the entrance of this dark passage, be it long and tiring or whatsoever, waiting to give u a hug and tell u, it's over and i'm still here, i've never given u up. i love u guys, i really do. u guys made my life seems so beautiful, i thank god every now and then about it, and i want u guys to see it the way i do. cry when u have to, i'll lend u a shoulder but remember behind every storm, there's always rainbow. i'm not trying to be a optimist here but i really care about all of u guys' happiness from the bottom of my heart.

=) ya, back to my studies. it's a long digression.