it's a relatively beautiful sunday but my mood may not even match up to it. my mood's not very pretty at all.

i don't know how to communicate with you anymore. what is it that u want, i really don't understand. i can't blame u, can i? you don't know what i've been through. you assume i'm someone so raw that u've to go all out to "remind" me and "advice" me? to be fair, i did thught if all of your reminders and advices did come during those days, i might be thankful. i wouldn't have gone down so low during that time. but on the other hand, have u ever thought of letting me venture out first? if every step i take has to be with care and caution, then what would i learn? if there's no stumble or fall.. then what would i learn? i won't be able to pick myself up, isn't it? you've been sheltering me and shielding me all these while.. i am grateful but do you know cos of u doing these, when i fall, it hurts twice as much as other pple? cos i never learn how to fall... and when i do, it hurts alot. so much more than it should. so now... whose fault is it? yours? mine? both of us?

i'm already having slight difficulties dealing with people around me, people telling me these and that. it doesn't really help that u look so lowly of me. or u think i'm so unfeeling. that u wrongly assume me or that u accuse me. do i ve to explain it all to u? i'm tired as it is already.

i'm sorry for dragging you into my world. for all the complicated things that i'll dealing with in my head. i'm sorry for not being simpler and think lesser.... sorry.