i finally know the truth and as much as i hate to admit, especially at this point in time already, it still hurts a little. the confirmation that i wanted to have is finally here. maybe this is a twist of fate. god is still kind to me as ever, letting me find out only after it started. i am a believer of signs so i should believe that this is not by chance but it's a even stronger sign for me to move on. nonetheless... it's time for me to let it go. it's been a while.. a long while. a long year in fact. many lesosns learnt, many people met and many feelings developed. i'm ready to move a step ahead and many many steps ahead i hope.

how should i put it. there are many explanations but they may seem only excuses to you. there are many things i want you to understand and know, but you might not listen or be interested. anything i say now seems pointless to you. facts are lying on the table. no matter what i say, facts are still facts. i don't dare to ask anything of you. i don't even know how to go about trying to explain cos whatever thing that comes out from my mouth all seem so pointless. i don't know what to do or what to say. the ball's in your hands now and i can only wait for you to understand. things hasn't been easy for me, especially knowing that my happiness comes in real difficult. and that my happiness is exchanged for many things i dun even want to think about. not good things apparently. knowing your pain and anger makes it difficult for me as well. u've got to believe me when i say i'm not feeling any less terrible than you when i noe that things might not be the same anymore. see what i mean when whatever thoughts i have still sound as much as excuses? i'm bad at this. this is just one of the worst situations that can come out of it. it's a strain... a overstretched rubber band.

time is what we need.