had a nice long bath. long and warm and it feels really good after one whole day of mad rush.

woke up early tis morning at 8 to go for jogging. wanted to start the momentum of running and i aimed to run at least for half an hour. but to my own disappointment, i couldn't even make it for half an hour. around 20 minutes or so, i start to see black spots and i seriously felt like throwing up. luckily, i was jogging around my neighbourhood or else i would have problems coming home because i felt so weak that i needed to rest a while downstairs before i can make my way up home. when i reached home... my legs literally gave way. felt really horrible and all for only 20 minutes of run? gosh.. i'm seriously getting bad at this. dun like this feeling. grrr....

after my head stop spinning and i could actually stand up without blacking out... i've got to rush to tm to get my converse shoes. after which, i had to rush to bugis to meet chin. got my two dcp shirts. =) and then we had to rush to city hall and meet the rest. went to coffee club at marina. simply love that place. one of my all time favs! boon couldn't make it today due to some sore eye and flu. =( she promised to meet me next sat.. please be my witnesses, everyone. so it's down to 5 of us. chin, angel, yan, xin and me. we sat at coffee club for 4 hours before doing some shopping.. i got another handbag! so tempted to get tt black top. so tempted to get that white skirt.... money money money... is what i need. simply hate being so freaking broke.

my eye hurts right now... =/ hope it gets better tmr. i dun wanna go visiting with a red eye tmr. happy happy chinese new year everyone!!! =)

chin and the monkey... the 2 forever spastic ones. 

me and my angel. =) 

look how tiny the phone looks in my huge hands.. =/ 

one of my favourite place to hang out 

i finally know the truth and as much as i hate to admit, especially at this point in time already, it still hurts a little. the confirmation that i wanted to have is finally here. maybe this is a twist of fate. god is still kind to me as ever, letting me find out only after it started. i am a believer of signs so i should believe that this is not by chance but it's a even stronger sign for me to move on. nonetheless... it's time for me to let it go. it's been a while.. a long while. a long year in fact. many lesosns learnt, many people met and many feelings developed. i'm ready to move a step ahead and many many steps ahead i hope.

how should i put it. there are many explanations but they may seem only excuses to you. there are many things i want you to understand and know, but you might not listen or be interested. anything i say now seems pointless to you. facts are lying on the table. no matter what i say, facts are still facts. i don't dare to ask anything of you. i don't even know how to go about trying to explain cos whatever thing that comes out from my mouth all seem so pointless. i don't know what to do or what to say. the ball's in your hands now and i can only wait for you to understand. things hasn't been easy for me, especially knowing that my happiness comes in real difficult. and that my happiness is exchanged for many things i dun even want to think about. not good things apparently. knowing your pain and anger makes it difficult for me as well. u've got to believe me when i say i'm not feeling any less terrible than you when i noe that things might not be the same anymore. see what i mean when whatever thoughts i have still sound as much as excuses? i'm bad at this. this is just one of the worst situations that can come out of it. it's a strain... a overstretched rubber band.

time is what we need.

grow old with you

I wanna make you smile
whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All i wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice,
growing old with you

I'll miss you
I'll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
I'll need you
I'll feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you.

hahahas.. this is from me. surprise!!!
~angel

oh happy day
hahahahas.. dear all. guess who i am.... hahahhas.
erms. that was uncalled for.. this is angel lar spastic.
hahhas.. im so happy cuz finally can on the lights already... hahahas.. no need for tou ji mo gou anymore..
ok i volunteered to blog cuz i told her to blog something and then she was tired(but happy) so she gave me her password and everything then i came here and i realised i duno what to say.

dear amelia chow,
you must scold her k. cuz hor you said you want to be the first to noe rite.. then after that i am the second.. but then hor.. you noe who is the first to noe? it's the 'date'. scold her scold her.. you scold the date also can.. scold the date better.

hey.. hope you remain happy k.. and i'll be happy. If anything goes wrong you know i'll be here still k. Don't worry too much.. will be keeping you in my prayers. =)))))))))


readers beware: please don't get cheated by the "date" like i was cheated by it.

it's a relatively beautiful sunday but my mood may not even match up to it. my mood's not very pretty at all.

i don't know how to communicate with you anymore. what is it that u want, i really don't understand. i can't blame u, can i? you don't know what i've been through. you assume i'm someone so raw that u've to go all out to "remind" me and "advice" me? to be fair, i did thught if all of your reminders and advices did come during those days, i might be thankful. i wouldn't have gone down so low during that time. but on the other hand, have u ever thought of letting me venture out first? if every step i take has to be with care and caution, then what would i learn? if there's no stumble or fall.. then what would i learn? i won't be able to pick myself up, isn't it? you've been sheltering me and shielding me all these while.. i am grateful but do you know cos of u doing these, when i fall, it hurts twice as much as other pple? cos i never learn how to fall... and when i do, it hurts alot. so much more than it should. so now... whose fault is it? yours? mine? both of us?

i'm already having slight difficulties dealing with people around me, people telling me these and that. it doesn't really help that u look so lowly of me. or u think i'm so unfeeling. that u wrongly assume me or that u accuse me. do i ve to explain it all to u? i'm tired as it is already.

i'm sorry for dragging you into my world. for all the complicated things that i'll dealing with in my head. i'm sorry for not being simpler and think lesser.... sorry.

UNTITLED -- Simple Plan

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded
By the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
But no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto
A time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?

I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading awayI'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?

it just takes a fruitless shopping trip to get a girl's spirits down but talking to some angels really cheered me up in more ways than one. and u guys know who you are.

feeling very very broke now. okie, feeling is the wrong word. i AM officially broke.

mummy is nice today. she got me a levi's jeans... but it's not like i'm wearing jeans to go visiting for new year day one.. a definite no no. so it doesn't help tt i'm still frantically looking for a white skirt. once i have it.. the rest will not be a problem at all.... grrr.. where's all my time going to. why do i ve little sleep/rest and yet, not enough to accomplish what i want to accomplish. this is wierd. i ve no idea where i spend all my money and time this month....

anyway.... i will be fine. to those whom i caused to worry. i'm sorry... =) i will be okie.. give me some time to recover my energy and tt smile, k.

like i've said before, i like fresh beginnings and fresh start to my week so i definitely won't bring a depressed and confused mind to the following week. and also, i don't want to let my darlings down... i got to keep tt smile and not forgetting... my " date". sorry.. i have to put the inverted commas.. i dun wan pple getting wrong idea. =) but i still love u.. so no worries.

have been carrying many doubts and uncertainties but i guess it's time to abandon them. everyone is telling me the same thing over and over again. i guess.. the need to protect myself is so strong tt i just build a natural barrier between myself and wad i am capable to get if i even step out of it. i've got to start thinking straight or maybe not even bother to think and just let my feelings flow. there are many buts... but i'm going to keep them at the back of my mind. i mean.. i conclude this is the only way to stay happy and as much as i want my darlings to be happy.. i must be happy first.. right?

thanks nu peng you, i'm really touched by what u sae to me today. and i'm reminded again how little i ve to explain to u.. before u noe what's going through my mind. u literally read me like a book. and thanks angel... for reminding me lotsa stuff. ur words struck many many bells in me. and i genuinely appreciate it. and of course.. thanks to my "date".... for making me smile... with that *ahem* pic of urs...

i need a slight change of lifestyle...

this is very depressing. nothing is going right. everything seems so out of place. it just doesn't feel right. and pardon me, but i'm feeling freaking shitty right now... that nothing can cheer me up. i'm being dragged down to the deepest part of this depressing pit and this is just so wrong.

freak. everything single thing i hear is wrong. every single thing i say is wrong. every single thing i do is wrong. when is the sun gg to come out fro mthe right place...

i'm so damn irritated. with myself.... i noe wad's bothering the hell out of me and it's freaking sucky tt i cannot do anything about it.

grrr.. yuck

some images cannot be wiped out. some memories still etached firmly to my memory. what do you know about all of these before those sweeping statements came out from your mouth. but it's okie. i'm not going to take in into heart.

it's yet another rainy day. feeling so lazy and letharigc. there's a ca tmr and i've yet to study. files are opened and textbook left on the table. all i have to do is reach out to them. and i'm feeling so so lazy. i just want to sleep in on this rainy day, curl up in bed with my comics. haven't been reading them in a long long while. room unpacked, books untouched. lappie's on and so is the tv.

it's been feeling great. but i feel that this is so much on the surface. maybe you're right, i do think too much. i would like to keep things the way they are now. i don't want to grow dependent like i used to be. and neither do i want to go off the line and do anything outrageous. but luckily for me, i ve my conservatism check point. maybe mum and amelia are right. better start turning around and back to my various check points.

Your elven name is Eruraviel,it means royal
maiden.You are graceful,lady-like and
respectful.You seem to have a certain noble and
kind personality.You are a born leader and even
if you are a little shy at first,you'll prove
exceptionale at calming people and coordonating
projects.You can be a bit bossy sometimes,but
you come quickly down-to-earth.Your friends
love you and respect you,you will be surprised
to find how many people are looking up to
you.You also have a certain weakness for money
or power so don't overdue things.The colors that suit you are blues and silver.The clothing type that suits you:flowing dresses.

What's your elven name and what does it mean?*Girls only**10 different results*
brought to you by Quizilla

Reeses Peanut Butter Cups

Very popular, one of you is not enough.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofcandyareyouquiz/">What Kind of Candy Are You?

Your 1920's Name is:

Sammie Fannie

What's" Your 1920's Name?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/">What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Is your birthday day 21 of the month?

Your Life

You are curious and a true follower. You can please someone so much that it seem like you are trying to charm that person. You hide your disagreement under your smiling face. This is a charming quality of yours.

理想情人

穿上洋装看着手表
时间快到心碰碰的跳
和你的第一次约会来临了

金色的阳光洒满人行道
换了新唇膏把头发弄好
要你看到我的好

喜欢看你走路充满自信
说话时候你的专注眼神
温柔的表情笑容里的天真
我相信找不到有比你更好的人

你心里理想情人是几分
是否也会有我的份
好想知道你的100分
会给怎样的人

亲爱的你不要再陌生
增加我戏份
我想问亲爱的你把感情升等
朋友变成情人

可不可以告诉我标准
不要让我一直等
听着那时间滴答的走
对街的你在点头
好像一个梦渐渐走到我前头
好想知道你的 100 分
会给怎样的人

亲爱的你不要再陌生
增加我戏份
我想问亲爱的你把感情升等
朋友变成情人
可不可以告诉我标准
不要让我一直等

eve's nick seems pretty stuck in my head today. so near yet so far. i don't know how to describe this distance and this feeling.

my tummy has been churning for a few days already.. i wonder why..... is it the food i eat but how can it be that everything i eat seems so wrong? i want my strong tummy back.

message from my darlings! 

digging into ice creeaaammmm 

our very very creamy tiramisu cake... with 6 candles. one representing each of us... 

our sparkling juice 

our new year eve mini feast... 

my all time favourite sausages toasted. i love to eat it straight from the toaster. one of the culprit that caused my sore throat. 

seafood tofu as sides 

My "zhao pai" salad as starters 

on the eve of new year, i deleted the messages.. slowly slowly, one by one. however, somewhere deep within me stopped me from deleting everything. i wonder why. is it because i couldn't bear to? or is it because i still want to keep memories of it. either way, i think at least, i'm taking a step ahead, aren't i? i do take long to recover... like a simile... my immune system is not that good after all. i take quite some time to recover, be it physically or emotionally. but nonetheless, i believe that i will do everything to make myself healthier and to strengthen up this immune system of mine.

i'm full of hope for this coming year ahead. had a blasting good time with my darlings yesterday with pictures to prove my point. same type of food as usual, popping of sparkling juice, cutting of the tiramisu and digging into the ice cream.. we ate alot alot alot. and i'm not kidding. i ate soo much for my first meal of the day that my stomach kinda ached after that. but i shall not go into details. we wrote our resolutions, dump it in a kimchi box.. wrapped it up.. sealed it and put in some dark place in the storeroom.. with the intention to read it next year and see how much we've fulfilled. =) i've 7 resolutions!!

went esplanade to watch fireworks after that. heard it's longer than the year before. very very pretty. stayed out till 8 plus this morning. not much as a hint of tiredness. just the gastric part acting up again. it felt terrible but didn't think much of it with you around. nice time spent and it gets even sweeter with your message this morning. how cute can you get.... but yes, i'm glad.

finally another step ahead. but it just gets more insecure and deeper into it. somewhere that might not be able to slip out so easily.

toast to year 2006.. happy new year everyone out there! toast to a healthier and happier me in 2006! =)