black. white. grey.

in the past, i used to think black and white should be clearly defined and no grey areas should appear. it's my belief. a strong belief and i lived my life with that belief. however presently, i'm allowing grey areas to appear all over in my life and i'm not making any effort to clear those areas. my mindset has changed and so has my life.

holidays have passed just like tt. hectic as it may seem, i found it well spent. i'm losing my 8 hours of sleep though and this is not good. i'm suffering from extreme fatigue. and at the same time, i'm eating like a pig. i just can't stop the urge of wanting to bite into something. time to change alter my lifestyle a little. i don't want to look like a pig even before i go china.

dad cooked dinner today. hmmm... i would just sae it's average. but i felt his effort in it and it's all that matters. yan came over today. talking to her always gets me thinking. about everything. my past, my present and my future. suddenly remembered how bitterly i cried one night in front of someone. in those days, i portrayed all signs of weaknesses. one could crush me easily, without any effort. i guess that was when i began to build a wall around me. oh wells.

i'm really tired. though i didn't do a single thing. good start i would like.

a pretty morning i want to see. ugly things are supposed to vanish once i go to sleep. it must be the tiredness that caused it. i had a very funny dream just now. i so want to share with eve.

a long and tiring day yesterday, but nonethesless, everything was worth it. sb club in the morning and then spring cleaning of club house. sb club sb club, though we all know how s*re*ed up it is, i hope there's at least some democracy in it and next week, i'm going to prove this point. and hopefully, i would be right.

in the evening, went down ntu with amelia to visit henz's hostel. hmmm, not very much different from the one i visited back in perth but just rather run-down. he said that there are better hostels, so we wanted to walk further down to take a look but when i stepped into his hostel, i seriously do not want to move anymore. feeling pretty homey and lazy yesterday so we ordered kfc. ate at the tv loungue tt has no channeul u.. cannot watch my superstar.. played mini mahjong... would post the picture up soo. lazy to do it this morning.

anyway, hope he did have a wonderful time yesterday with good memories created. ha. when i reached home, i was dead tired. couldn't even move. slept till now. good. aim to complet crm by today. by hook or by crook.

buses always come when one least expects it. but when you're waiting and hopping on one foot, glancing down the road every few seconds, buses seem to take forever to come. waiting time is always perceived to be shorter when one has lesser expectations of others and of surroundings. surprises may even appear round the corner. however, when one impatient chap waits, everything would be deem slower than normal and therefore, waiting time increases. one's mindset and mentality is very important in whatever he or she does.

the same type of love would not come knocking on your door twice. every feeling is special and very much one of a kind. no matter how great it used to be, how much u missed those times and how much u cherished and hope it would appear once again, it would not happen. feelings and emotions are very individualistic. every relationship is special on its own for people to learn so that they would not make the same mistake twice.

so ya, anyway, i'm in a good mood today. nothing beats waking up to a new start of a new chapter. fresh beginnings. my mood is so good that i became a sinful girl today. cannot stop eating at all. eve even said i was very horrible but really, it's good to be able to eat like today and of course, i can't do it often. i guess the big appetite has also got to do with a special period of the month. appetite increases everytime of the month.

i'm happpy happpy. settled wad's for tmr too. we were thinking and thinking so much where to go and our especially tight budget and poof! the idea came and we decided to go his hostel instead. cheap food, cosy and definitely fun! =)

life is good and i love all my frens out there!

hehehe.. i forgot to add who i am.. hehe
heythere.. let me do a introduction..
i am angel.. hahas.. but i think i appear on the tagboard so often it is hard not to noe who i am la.. hehe..
that girl is cooking right now..
take care of this girl for me yea?? hehe.
lalala..~angel flyyyS off..

lalala i love this girl of mine. hahaas.
yummies. love you girl!! ehehe.
altho you are a pig to make me come all the way to your house ar.. hhahas.. but nevermind.. i miss you too much to care.. hehehee.
yummies girl.. take care of yourself yea??
noe your holidays is probably going to be filled with super alot of things..
and i noe you gonna be so busy ar..
but don't stress yourself up yea??
alright i so sad!! you just came into the room!
humphs. hahaas.. not surprising anymore..
bleah. *stick out my tongue at you*
alright alright.. take care!!
gonna miss you lots!! =)

i wonder if wad i did was wrong or right. i don't wish for this to happen but happy times won't stick around for long. haven't i learn it the hard way already. the air has to be cleared one day anyway.

even when i was looking for company, i didn't know how to broach the topic. god, can things be made simpler for me.

i'm just a selfish, unreasonable brat who deserves retribution.

a nice, lazy day. just slacking around, doing the necessary. everything feels good. and to top it off, i prepared dinner. pasta and stir-fried prawns. just trying out some recipe. and tt equals to the one and only meal i had for the day. no wonder, my tummy feeling a little hungry again. if only i have someone living near me who would accompany me for supper as and when i feel like it.

did some packing of my room. i really need a new cupboard and two separate table. one study table and one dressing table. how can both purpose be combined into one like wad i'm doing now. simply not enough space. think some time at the end of the year, i'm going to revamp my room. do a little painting, buying of new furniture.. maybe tt's when new tv and hi-5 set would come in. =)

rented 4 vcds to watch today and i finished two. one of them is anger management. lol. thought it would do me some help to watch that.. hee hee. invited angel over to my house tmr. more vcds and i'm gonna cook dinner. girl bonding... life is great right at this moment. free, relaxed and easy. =)

a long and tiring week has just passed. eve and i practically ate out 4 days out of 5 this week, reaching home no earlier than 9. when we were walking out of school at 6 plus when the sky is still bright, eve even made a comment that today is the earliest time tt we're leaving school. oh well... i'm enjoying my life right now. that's what matters, isn't it?

however, i guess we're pretty screwed up for our presentation this morning. i feel largely responsible for it. but there's nothing i can do now but wait for the final verdict. so i'm trying not to let it bother me too much.

my holidays have officially started but i'm not going to be free at all. i'm trying to squeeze time out for everybody and at the same time for all my projects and the coming tests after school reopens. this busy busy life, i like. it takes my mind off things i don't want to think, at the same time, I'm not idling my time away. kill two birds with one stone. hee. and angel darling.. i miss you alot too. there's simply too much to tell but no time to do it. i wan coffee, i wan enjoyment too. but times tt i'm free.. i dun think u wld be free cos it's mainly evening onwards. i miss all my girlfriends out there. i hope everyone's happy and healthy.

this holiday, i've yet to plan out strategically what i would do but i'm definitely going to give myself time to enjoy, indulge in my beloved comics and just enjoy time alone. really need that. i've got things and committment on my side and at the same time, i wanna sort out some thoughts. apparently, some things just cannot stay a mist always. and i wanna take this weekend and cook for my dad. i'm sure he misses my cooking and poor him, don't know whether he got take dinner at all this whole week when i'm busy or not. so am gonna whip up special things for him. so it's basically taking some off time to myself for peace and quietness. =)

i like the way my life is now and i've no intention to change it for anyone. freedom is what i value most now (other than comics, of course). don't push me and destroy whatever good feelings in between.

feeling funny all over.
cold and hot at the same time.
pain in the head.
not much appetite.

think it must be due to the recent extreme temperatures of singapore. my body seems to be anticipating something to happen. but no, not now. cannot let it happen. got to postpone it.

amelia sent me a message today. brought back memories. oh wells...

what a weekend i had. lost the freedom of having the house all to myself. somehow or another, i feel that i can do things better when i'm alone at home. enjoy the space and the luxury of being tomyself, having to face and account to no one byt myself.

after handing up the 2 reports, took a break which turn out to be a long one. spent these two days doing nothing but indulging in my favourite pastimes of all-- comics. it feels so good, to sit down, with a cup of tea and just read and enjoy. time passes exceptionally fast when i do so. mum saes people who read comics are pple who like to live in a world of their own. she saes tt's not normal. but then again, what's normal and what's not. i do admit i like my own world, one tt i dun allow anyone to step in so easily anymore. but i'm definitely not suffering from autistic. reading comics takes my time away from everything else. i like to put myself in the world tt's drawn, world of pictures and non-reality. it's a magical feeling that i can't really describe properly but ya, my interest.

talked to few certain people for the past few days and they definitely open up my knowledge far and wide. goals seemed so attainable with faith. dreams feel so close to be reached. i'm someone who likes a proper beginning. a nice and good beginning is important to me and so is the ending. what always screwed up is the process of it. a good process is how determined and focused one stay in it. and tt's wad i always lose in between. determination and focus. ha, still got alot to learn from others.

am planning to save money to a large amount. chin taught me tt determination will make it work. and i came to realise i really need money for rainy days as i forsee a thunderstorm coming up in the near future.

anyway, life's not a breeze at the moment but i'm learning to take things easy. i knoe how to advice others but never knew how to apply to myself. the world wld not crash if i do one less thing. life still goes on. right. ha..

cooking claypot rice later for daddy. he's fast becoming my number one guinea pig for all my food. i'm enjoying it...

When feelings and emotions are coming in all different directions, it's difficult to pen down my thoughts (in this case type). There's too much to be said, yet at the same time, some things are better left unsaid.

At times like these, I miss the faraway one.

FANTASTIC 4! 

War of The Worlds! 

Movie: Fantastic 4
Rating: 3 stars out of 5

Marvel's first family of comic superheroes takes the world by storm as the longest running comic book series in history comes to the big screen. Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic, who can elongate his body, Susan Storm/Invisible Woman, who not only can become invisible at will but can render other objects invisible, Johnny Storm/Human Torch, who can shoot fire from his finger tips and bend flame, and Ben Grimm/The Thing, a hideously misshapen monster with superhuman strength, together battle the evil Doctor Doom.

Another group of superheros but personally, I think X-men was better. The cast is not this movie's strength. It's more of the plot and of the fact that people in Singapore would not miss any superhero movies. Overall, it's pretty alright, with a little humour injected in it. Nothing special about this film and also nothing exciting to mention. Did not left any impact on me. A good movie to just sit, enjoy and not think. Let the heroes do the job this round.

Movie: War of The Worlds
Rating: 2 stars out of 5

Steven Spielberg’s War of the Worlds, starring international superstar Tom Cruise. A sci-fi adventure thriller reveals the extraordinary battle for the future of mankind through the eyes of a American family fighting to survive it. Thrilling scenes that hold your breath with each second and a relatively good cast. However, the story plot disappointed me a little. Just a little.

With all the previews and advertisments flashing almost everywhere, I never thought what I thought i would see appear in the movie. It's not that bad but however, the ending seems rather abrupt, sending a pretty obvious message out to the audience. Some people may like it, but others were expecting more from the movie and I belong to the latter. What I would like to compliment about this show would be the leading actor and also, the young actress. Acting wise was good, reating all the necessary tension. Director did a great job in creating suspension. Better story plot would be good.

i hate this feeling. the last thing i wanna do is to compete with you.

out of the blue, i recalled what milton said to me once. he told me we don't need a degree in life to be successful. we don't need a degree to be happy and contented in life. to him, degree is nothing but a piece of shit paper that means nothing. but that's him. i told him in singapore, that's not the case at all.

we do need a degree to be successful. come on, how many people who received low education get to be successful entrepreneur. i have to be practical, don't i. though i very much want to believe in milton's way of life. suddenly, i miss milton and joan alot. miss that short period of time we spend together. those were the times when i can forget that i live in singapore, a city that is practical and materialistic.

this is way of life.

milton told me once, don't do things that he won't do. i really don't want to. but if i don't, i'll lose this rat race we call life. and lose is definitely not a word i like.

someone yesterday said something about me. he makes sense and surprisingly. it came from him. how i wanted people to understand me like they way he sees me but those fail me. only him. and i'm surprised. he saw beyond some point of me. hmmm, must change my opinion of him le. i kept the message as a reminder to myself.

did i say something wrong again?

your jealousy is getting the better of you and that's what caused your child-like behaviour.
it irks me.

don't assume you understand me very well. you've no idea what i've went through. i'm not who you think i am and i'll never be who you hope i would be. don't preach to me about life like you know alot 'cos i seriously think you don't.
so quit trying to change me.

you said you had my interest at heart and that you're concerned. why did you not show this "care" and "concern" of yours last time when i was practically begging you not to put me through sheer torture. why is it that you're thinking for my interest only when this thing will affect you now?
it's too late now.

don't make me do the last thing i would like to do and that is to bring out all the bad history we had. don't try to paint a happy story 'cos tt's not what it's like. i'm not naive enough to bluff myself through this rainbow when it's only as thin as a sheet of paper. darkness is all around us and i know it.

you broke my trust and thus, i can't bring myself to trust you anymore. there's simply nothing you can do about it. i'm trying so hard here, struggling to put my life in order, so don't come barging in and mess things up. i'm tired, yet still struggling. don't make me work double. is it fair.

steer clear for a while. i really need a break from you.