i can see my own damn flaws getting bigger and bigger in front of me, causing myself to see a very ugly side of me every single day. and it just don't get better. is rejection that difficult or is it just my own poor will. all the ugly evil creatures are eating me, biting me slowly and it hurts. it has always hurt. i've said once, i prefer hearing things being spoken to me rather than feel the things happening in front of me. because words do not lie. they are just thrown in front of you whether you like it or not but feelings can be wrong. i do trust my own instinct but they always tell me something negative... so i choose not to trust them. i want to hear it for myself. and true enough when i hear it, i don't like it. this sux.... it still hurts. ya, because i am young... whatever. this is not going to affect any part of my life. i can still do well in school, be a good friend to others. but leading a close to normal life doesn't mean it's normal. it's only close. and even if i m not wallowing in self pity, it doesn't mean that i stop hurting... wounds have not heal and already fresh wounds are up... what's this.... what's all this about.