have you ever stand in a crowded public area and feel like screaming your head off at no one in particular? i have. have you ever wish for something so hard that you thought you might just die from wishing? i have. have you ever felt as if you simply have no control over your life and that you are just somone else viewing your life? i have. i don't like all these feelings.... i hate it. everyone says i am stronger or that i will get better. and i should take things as it comes. do they know how i really feel? it's ok. no one understands and i don;t want anyone to understand too.. what's the point... even if someone understands, i would still have all those feelings mentioned above... and everything still hurts alot.