OH MY GOD!!!!! this is one of the best surprise that i've received in quite some time. and it's reallly a goood surprise because it totally caught me off guard!!!! when i enter my own blog.. i was like.. eh?? who's blog did i click on.. i couldn't believe my eyes.. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god!!!! thanks guys... i reallly love it.. cos it's really a GOOD surprise.. and it's really well done. no matter which of u guys keep claiming the credit... i extend my most sincere thanks to the both of you. i'm touched.. i really am. kinda add something for me to smile to tonight. thanks alot. i love u guys..... it's a nice surprise... leona is truly touched!!! =)

i aleady had the intention to blog tonight. so ya...

realised something hard and concrete today. the more you're afraid to lose something... the more you will lose it. i guess this fact has always been somewhere deep behind my head. it's always there. i just never go realise it and today... it kinda surfaced that some words just had to be out and i ve an extreme overwhelming urge to type it all out and expressed it all out. but it's human nature isn't it? to be afraid to lose something that you really cherish or like. what am i supposed to do then? act nonchalent or indifferent like i dun care.

realised no matter how hard i try to be strong, to keep this wall around me, to create this barrier.. i cannot help but feel insecure, vulnerable and weak at times. i hate myself during these times cos it reminds me of exactly where i fell the last time. i'm never good at picking myself up. i know that of myself too well. which is why i'm so afriad of falling right back to it. and having such thoughts made me weak... today, a thought that eve used quite often popeed into my head:
silence and inaction is insufficient. it truly is. it makes me more insecure only.

ok... i sound like a weakling, don't i. people out there.. go ahead and despise me.... i'm already doing so. yuck.

whatever it is.. thanks angel and joel... it's really a good surprise.. brought a smile to my face. thanks guys.