went to singapore expo yesterdae for the robinsons' sales with mi baby.. tot it wld be very crowded but it was quite alright. maybe cos it's onli this first dae. bb sae fri and sat wld ve the most pple. neway, m glad we went dere on the first dae... dere's still many many things.. and the promoters dere are very friendly ahaha, dunno if the last dae which is dis cuming sun wld be damn packed.. aniwae, yesterdae and todae is mi off dae.. got two off daes this week. simply cannot take it at work already. but cf also ve two off daes.. and tmr is her off dae.. =( which means m working full shift.. soo sian! summore tmr is ys' chalet... all of our frens wld be gg over in da evening or maybe late evening for the bbq and i hafta go dere after work.. by the time i reached dere, all our frens wld be gone... dun even noe got food anot.. m staying overnight at the chalet tmr... asked bb to go with mi and she sae see how first, dun realli dare to stress her or press her for the ans... but i realli do hope she can go with mi lor... wld be damn happy if she agreed. bb very scary these daes.. maybe cos of pms.. her temper is ultra bad.. and she gets tired easily... dunno how long cani keep giving in to her.. wad to do... can never get angry with her for long. neway. went for the medical checkup already. mi darling went with mi yesterdae.. hee.. it was 22 bucks.. mum gave mi 50 bucks.. and i haven't return her the balance.. which is quite bad.. m goin to return her soon. m quite happy cos i finally received mi pay.. tho the sum is not alot... but m still happy to see tt mi hard work in turns of cash.. ahahha... i miss mi baby alot. these daes, feel quite insecure.. hope everything wld be fine and it's just mi being oversensitive...

mi right eye hurts da whole dae todae. sumthing is wrong with mi contacts and i tink it's cos mi contacts are overdue, shld have changed it. even when i removed it now, my eye is still tearing die lah... wad if i get eye infection? neway, woke up damn earli this morning cos mi darling piggy for once asked mi out for breakfast! both of us start work at ten den we decided to have macs breakfast together. she was even earlier than mi... which is quite rare. after breakfast, went over to suntec to start mi opening. cos i prepared alot before i closed yesterdae nite so opening was easy. even had time to watch tv and wait for cf to cum at 11. everytime i work half dae, tend to slack alot. todae, i even ended work half and hr earli to go meet mi baby and asked cf to pucnh out the card for mi. b and i hanged ard town until it was time for mi to go french klass. m realli quite tired and mi eyes realli hurt soo i stoned alot todae. neway, m a bad bad girl. ve been irritating ys alot these daes. first, it's da chalet. told her i was gonna share with her. make her go check out the rates, this and that den in the end pang seh her. she was realli pissed and todae, promised to have dinner with her and i once again pang seh her cos of b. felt quite bad... but b and i spending lesser and lesser time together... sooo.. haik... m just a bad bad girl. sorry ys... went for french klass.. it's getting more and more confusing when i m not even very sure of mi basics. cldn't realli concentrate due to mi hurting eye. after klass, went to eat long johns AGAIN with ys. seemed as if long johns is our permanant place to go after klass every wed, ahaha. mi eye hurts.. tink i hafta start wearing spects.. yuck.. sooo ugly.. haik.. wad to do, hafta save mi eyes before it's too late. it's mi off dae tmr! shld be very happy but cos got organ lesson as well, sian... b's off dae is tmr... hmmm, she dun seem keen in goin out with mi.. i noe wad's da reason.. can't blame her.. aniwae, i miss mi baby.. once again, she's out tonite...

haven't been blogging cos ever since last week after mi two off daes, have been working non stop, 12 hrs everydae. and even mi off dae which is on wed was quite packed, having to wake up earli in the morn to pracrise mi organ. den had organ lesson den rushed down to simei to do mi hair then rush for french klass. it's getting more diff to catch up in french... can't wait for the course to be over.. at least can get it over and done with and get mi cert. i even fell asleep durin klass and ys had to wake mi up... soo embarrassing. neway, met baby on tues. she came to suntec to wait for mi to finish mi work den we went tiong bahru market to eat... met her on wed too.. she came and pick mi up after mi french klass... it was a surprise... but i was very happy to see her. den on thurs, she finished work earli and came to wait for mi at suntec again... and we went tiong bahru to eat again.. dunno y dis time, eat until after midnight soo as usual, i was feeling lazy soo i requested to take a cab... haik.. spent 24 bucks on cab fare leh.. now i noe.. baby and i are realli two ends away frm each other. da cab driver was rather scary tho. he kept looking at mi thru and mirror and he tok non stop.. very tired but i didn't dare to fall aslp. baby very nice tt dae, she bought mi this special kaya roll for mi to try.. it was realli not too bad.. she ar.. too nice already... dunno whether got do guilty things anot... tt's y soo nice to mi.. ahahhaa, todae baby's off and she wld be off 2 daes in a roll.. lucki manz! i went for the ij concert.. ij choir's first concert!! cool!! dey improved quite alot... and ar.. ms tham remembers mi!! yay!! sooo happy... soo nice to see all mi juniors too!! =) had fun todae.... sian... tmr hafta work... =(

todae's mi second off dae of the week. i was also off yesterdae. cf had her share of off daes.. mon and tues. frm tmr until sundae, we wld be sloggin our lives out at suntec foodcourt, ahaha but it wld be fun, hopefully. aniwae, ve been a good gurl all dae. stated at home, practised mi organ and mi organ techer came. promised baby tt i wld go read and settle the enrolment thingy. i received the enrolment package about 5 daes ago, i tink. actualli, it was a promise to mi mum also. she ar, have been naggin and naggin at mi to go read the enrolment package and brief her about it. and so, i better go do it. had a small little tok with baby yesterdae. tot about things between mi and her... the pix came clearer to mi now. everything's just not as beautiful as i painted it out to be. it has been like tt right frm the beginning... but i m fine, realli. i just hafta learn how to accept facts. i wld definitely learn alot of things and become a better person after i step out of this... this i can forsee.

ooo... wad a rainy dae. woke up this morn and it was raining. do u noe how difficult it is to drag misef up tt comfy bed to go work. i m gg to contradict miself.. but i hate to work, yet on the other hand, when i was out of work, i complained i was too bored. but it was really tiring todae. worked till 3 todae and cf came to take over mi shift. after work, went to gm's hse to eat poh piah.. it is poh piah dae todae. was rainin quite heavily again and this time, i had to walk under da rain to gm's hse. it wasn't very very heavy but heavy enough to get mi all soaked. i immediately took a bath after i reached her hse. den ate the vegetarian rice tt baby bought for mi then i wrapped sum poh piah for her. baby left work earli todae and we went tm to catch a show. watched prince and me. typical type of fairy tale lor... baby said the poh piah was good but the garlic was too strong.. even now, i still can smell garlic in mi mouth.. ewww... after the show, we went foodcourt to eat den had to go home liao. i m quite tired... it's gonna be a longgg week ahead of mi.. m quite dreadin tues... baby still on da way home now.. poor little thing... ahahha.. wad to do.. tampines is just too far away

went out with yansing and chinfang to shop todae. it's soo satisfying, just tt i ended up owing yansing money again. but m realli happy... everything wld be perfect.. this whole week wld be perfect if it's not cos i hafta work until closing at the foodcourt tmr with all the aunties. the aunties dere are all hypocrites. one moment, dey can laugh with u and da next thing, dey can just go tok bad about u behind ur back.. i wan cf to work with mi.. wld feel better.. wld feel more secure.. sigh... m dreading it... baby's fren frm taiwan came back singapore for a hol and mi baby went clubbing tonite.. wad's new.. just another boring nite for mi. didn't realli get to spent enough time with her since tues.. i miss her lots! and the best part is while i m suffferin at the foodcourt tmr.. she's off... realli wanna go out with her... but guess she mite not want.. she always sae i eat into her off dae.. and she can't rest @ home properly... tink she wld want to rest at home tmr.. piggy...

had two very very happy daes in a row... i feel soooo blessed and contented... felt like i m da happiest gurl on earth. but can be quite scary.. usually after happy happy daes... i shure have mi fair share of realli down daes... ahahha.. m tinkin too much yea? hmm... well, let mi start frm yesterdae. baby got her pay yesterdae. it's a time of enjoyment for the both of us. accompanied her to science park den to holland v to get her hair cut.. it was a long wait.. got quite bored, den decided to walk ard holland v.. ahhaha.. i noe i m quite dumb but it's onli mi third visit there.. after she had her haircut... went to town to to a mini shopping... went zara and i saw phoebe, mi darling dotter dere! she was in da fitting room and she just happened to open when i walk past.. ahahha.. i was realli realli happy to see her... nice surprise den tried on many skirts... i realli liked to own one of dem... however... it's too ex.. den went mango... baby got mi a top dere.. such a sweetie... muaks! ahahha, den went to check up on her eyes... the optician said her eye infection is getting worse and kinda refered her to a specialist.. moods were quite affected to tink of the money tt has to be spent on da specialist. den we took a bus to bugis cos we wanted to go bugis village. went fish and co to eat.. we were being quite greedy.. ordered food tt we can't finish... spent quite sum time dere... den in da end, didn't get to go bugis village and shop. aniwae... when i got home.. got a hell of scolding fmr mum for gettin tt mango top.. cldn't tell her sumone bought it for mi.. she nagged and nagged.. i almost died! aniwae.. todae's mi off dae! had organ lesson or shld i sae a sharing session. she came @ one and we tok till 3.... i didn' even touch mi organ @ all.. updating each other on our lives... mi teacher said many things worth for mi to tink about more thoroughly... she's right about woman hafta be strong... even without love.. aniwae... she ar.. got mi late for my meeting with cf.. went town with cf... got the intentiom to get a top wan.. but sumhow or another.. none of the tops look good on mi todae.. wad's wrong manz... den went lips to eat with her... wad's wrong with mi lor.. quite broke yet wanna eat good foood. after tt.. we actualli walk frm town back to city hall cos i wanted to give mi baby a surprise and waited for her to take a bus back with her... cf is damn nice!! she walked with mi... i realli realli appreciated it dear fren.. =) was quite high towards the end of the nite already... =) tmr working with cf till closing.. m lookin forward.... ahahhaha

this is sooo irritating!!! mi frens went to shop without mi! at first, i tot dey onli did window shopping but no!!! dey bought alot alot of things!!! i m deprived!! deprived of shopping! cannot find the time to shop.. cannot find anyone to go shop with mi but worst of all... no cash!!! this sucks!!! i wan money... i wan new clothes! grrrrr... this is soooooo irritating.. m sooo angry.... i need SHOPPING!!!

i finally start work liao... tho quite tiring but it's much better than slacking at home. however ar, todae's business not very good so got alot of free time to tink also. m quite worried about mi job now. i feel tt i might be sacked anytime... cos it's still under vietro.. and this company has to cut cost mah. sian... tt means i still hafta keep a tight lookout for jobs... so amelia, i m fine at the foodcourt, just bored and of cos tired cos hafta stand down there for a few number or hrs. mi body and legs are aching. and angel, u noe ar, for 16th april... u might either onli see mi or cf. cos now tt we are working at the same place.. both of us can't possibly get off on the same dae and same time mah... gosh.. i m really quite tired.. tmr working half dae.. but star work at ten.. better go recuperate now..

haik... wan to watch a show also so difficult. baby intend to leave the store earli todae to catch a show with mi but the show timing not very good. she dun realli dare to leave earli in case slam. i m tinking ar.. sumtimes might be fated. like fated we can't catch a show together todae or she can't meet mi todae or sumthing. haik haik.... read chinese horoscope yesterdae. dey sae mi horoscope and her horoscope not a good match at all.. sae wun last long and tt need alot of compromise... of cos i choose not to believe or rather.. i dun wan to believe... but she ar... believe in horoscope quite alot... m quite affected by it. haik haik haik.... soo troubled now... dunno whether still wan to watch the show anot. i noe even if she leave earli.. she will feel quite worried cos if anything do happen, she will get the blame... soo wad's the pt of getting her out earli when she will keep tinkin about the store... i wan to be more understanding... but i realli damn long never see her already... HAIK.. i miss her...

i m confirm working at the foodcourt already. tmr's mi last dae of enjoyment and good smell, ahaha. mi shifts next week is not soo bad, still managable, not as tough as the other time when i was working at the foodcourt. sooo this leaves mi time to practise mi organ and also do other things. woke up earli this morning and den went to cash in mi cheque. after tt, went bugis temple to pray den walk ard bugis... wanted to do sum shoppin but somehow, mi mood's not in it. den i found a quiet place and sat down to do sum reading... after tt, i walked over to suntec and accompanied cf for quite sumtime... until close to 8 i guess. wanted to meet my dar tonite cos quite long never see her but tink she meeting sumone else and also, i guessed she's tired... yawns... just staying at the foodcourt todae kinda drained out all mi energy and made mi smell a little fishy too.. can't imagine when i start work dere. i miss mi dar.. hopefully, tmr can get to meet her cos i wld start work on mon liao... tmr's qing ming... not shure if i hafta wake up earli to go out with family.... tiredzz

i realli dun wanna work at the fast food place so i kinda jumped at the offer to go back to the foodcourt to work. aniwae, besides tt i hated it alot once and it realli makes mi stink after working dere, i dun see why not. the pay is quite reasonable and the best part is i wld have cf with mi.. sooo i m not scared. maybe i wld just die on cf's off dae or sumthing but i figured out i wld suffer both at the fast food place and at foodcourt so y not foodcourt if i got cf with mi. aniwae, not very shure if i can get the job, things wld be more confirmed tmr. hafta settle sum stuff and inform the necessary pple. hee, guess i m still a worker of vietro after all.. just hope things wld be smooth sailing. realli praying damn hard. realli wan to start work asap.. m already rotting at home. received mi pay todae.. it's pathetic.. dun even noe can last mi for a week or not.. bleah.... wish mi luck tmr... bb went clubbing again... sooo bored... aniwae, mi and cf wanted to watch movie todae since we got the cash but apparently, we dun ve any luck. walked to bugis.. dey dun ve any anice shows on.. den went cine.. dun ve.. den lido... ended up sitting at starbucks and chatting... toking abt how nice if we got to work together... realli hope i can start work dere soon.. =) dis is da onli thing i can look forward to.

todae's a good good dae. went to da salon in the afternoon with mummy cos todae's her off dae. den went to parkway to meet amelia. it's been sooo long since i last saw her. as in go out with her and chit caht. saw her last week at funan tho, together with the energy fans. she cldn't get out of the q.. tt's y we cldn't realli catch up.. aniwae, we went giant after meeting up.. intending to find the cut watermelon which she claims the giant at IMM have but we cldn't find any. den we bought bread and chips and found a seat the da shopping centre, sat dere, ate and tok cock. it is fun... it feels soo long since i last enjoyed miself without having to tink abt anything else. den after tt, went foodcourt to ve our dinner. saw alot of vj pple... amelia sae vj's fav hangout place is parkway parade. aniwae, we ate kway chap.. ordered a meal and share, very economical.. ahaha..den we got to eat our cut watermelon!! ahaha.. ve been craving for watermelon since last nite cos she kept tempting mi... after tt, we walked all the way towards katong side and took a bus. on the way dere... amelia keep saying how good it wld be if she has a blog... den she started tellin mi wad she want to blog.. like how boring was orietation @ vj todae was.. and how happy and excited she is to meet mi.. ahahhaha... amelia.. i noe u love mi!!! =) haven't seen mi baby for 2 daes... miss her!

i finally fell sick. =( actualli, i kinda felt it coming cos these few daes, not feeling very good. guess, it's just accumulation lor. i wld see it as a good cause. after i recover, everything's gonna start anew. i dun wan to be the weak little girl i was for the past few daes. m gonna keep mi life occupied.. i figured out tt wld be the best way for mi right now. need to divert mi attention away frm her. she ar.. sooo un gentle todae... i sick ar... also dunno how to show concern wan leh. kinda slacked at home the whole dae todae.. cldn't find the energy to do anything else except watching tv... tmr's gonna be a better dae!

woke up at 11. haven't done anything at all. haven't eat a proper breakfast. haven't bathed. mi mind is in a blank. i dunno wad to think, wad to do, feel so unmotivated. i dunno if i've done the right thing to cling on to it. i realli dun wan to be hurt again but by clinging on, the chances of her hurting mi seemed pretty high. clinging on.. i dun even noe wad m i clinging on to. pple are concerned for mi. i noe. so dey tell mi to give up and get over it. it's not easy... if i can do so, i wun even cling on. i want to noe exactly wad's she tinking. mi mind is in a blank... can't focus on anything... i need to tok to sumone.. but hu...

"shld we put a stop to this... sorrie"
how am i not supposed to get hurt when she tell this dis... dis morning. i told her it's so unfair to mi. she said she dun wan us to get hurt even more in da future. cos da amt of hurt wld increase as da daes go by. it's realli unfair. i m hurt not cos her ans to mi is still a no but cos i tot we were getting on pretty fine and she sudenly just brought this issue up. i noe this issue has been dere all the while but y must she bring it up.. out of nowhere. had a long lengthy tok with her... we are fine now.. but i can't help tinking what wld happen if she brings it up again.. i really dun tink i can take it... i realli like her alot. supposed to go out with angel, cf and xw todae.. apparently.. i dun ve da mood. and the best part is angel and cf came mi hse todae. cos like first sae go cf's hse... den xw cannot make it.. den sae go xw's hse.. but damn far.. i dun feel like travelling... den in the end, decided to cum mi hse... i guessed we kinda made angel quite pissed. guess she's realli looking forward to todae wan leh... den like we dun ve any concrete plans or anything.. and summore venue change soo many times.. and mi hse very far away mah.. den da best part is when dey are over @ mi hse.. didn't ve the time to entertain dem. cos jie and deborah were online... den had to tok to dem.. miss both of dem alot.. it's been long since i tok to dem mah.. den jie kinda wanna dif out mi love life.. soo i told her a little... she kinda advised mi to give up lor. she sae it's not worth it or sumthing... told her i realli like mi dear lot... but she asked mi.. how much do i noe her to like her.. and sae i haven't seen enough pple and the world to noe wad's true liking or even true love... which is true.. but i noe i was damn hurt this morning... i realli dun wanna lose her.. glad things r fine now. told jie wld tink thru wad she said... but i guessed i wld still make da same chioce..

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....

todae's mi second french klass. was taught more todae... sooo a little harder to catch up. back to the basics such as verb, adverb, forming questions blah blah. i better go revise them later. the rest of the klass seem to be catchin up with no prob so i must work hard also, wun wan to waste money go dere learn nothing. dis week is term holidae so organ teacher wun be coming.. tre bien... cos i didn't practise at all since the last time she left. better start tmr, promised baby i wld do it. aniwae, kinda found a job already but it's at a new fast food concept place. dere wld be training before work officially starts. pay same as vietro. training wld start on the 29th.. tt means frm now to the 29th, i wld be slacking away. aniwae, m sick and tired working as a waitress. furthermore, dun wanna work in a fastfood type of place leh...i m not a very fast person to start with.. sian.. tinking of doin admin stuff or maybe as sales girl. actualli, if it's not cos got no income, i dun even feel like working animore... but no chioce.. dun wanna stay at home and hear mum nag non stop abt not getting a job and m realli realli broke nowadaes. can't wait for poly to open school in a way... haik. baby went clubbing todae.. it's been a long time since she went clubbing. i shldn't be upset or anything cos it's a time for her to do sum catching up with her frens but i realli wan to go with her lor. tmr is cf's offdae... haven't plan anything yet... and surprisingly, no one call and ask mi about it.. and tt silly xinying.. haven't reply whether can she make it.. dun tink she's in singapore leh.. cos called her hp and it's off... aiyah.. head damn pain!

yawnz.. good morning... didn't have a good sleep last night. was already falling aslp when suddenly jolted awake... dunno y.. den after a long time, finally got to slp... woke up suddenly at 6.. i m always tired after being unable to slp peacefully thru the night. hate to wake up suddenly out of nowhere and den will ve a hard time to get back to slp wan... neway, yesterdae afternoon was a mad rush. was actualli rotting at home when suddenly cf call and she cannot stop crying... i was soo worried tt i took a damn quick bath and rush down to suntec... took a cab.. ys also rushed down frm her church.. actualli, wad happened was tt cf cldn't take da stress working at suntec foodcourt... i guess it must ve been very tough... i mean after all, tho she's v capable and tolerant, she's still 17... i guess she shld be fine by now.. will arrange a dae so tt all of us can go out.. and help her to relax and enjoy or sumthing... =) watched butterfly effect yest... it's a goood show! u can't even stop concentrating for a sec... it feels like if u just blink.. u wld miss out alot.. i love the show! =) gg for an interview later... and a job search.. can't stand being at home, doin nothing... no income.. no life..

this is no good. ve been slacking for an entire week already. didn't put an effort to go look for job. neither did i put an effort in practising the organ. haik, wad's wrong with mi. went out with winnie yesterdae. went funan due to mi little request. guess it was a bad chioce to go funan all thanks to those energy fans who cldn't stop screaming.. it can be quite irritating when u are trying to talk over dinner and havin to raise ur voice cos u can't hear each other. aniwae, amelia was at funan. it's been quite long since i saw her and she finally passed mi the notebook... =) after dinner, we left funan and headed to town to get her wax.. ahaha, i noe nothing about wax lor.. den sat at paragon to chi chat... wanted to tok to her longer but need to end off earli cos dear finished work liao den went to eat supper with dear. yesterdae, baby and i chatted for quite a long time before falling aslp. it's quite a miracle cos usually ard one am or so, she wld fall aslp on mi.. chatted till 3 plus... it was a good tok... wadever the situation is now... m not prepared to leave her.. hope she feels da same way too.. not sure if meeting her later... but i miss her..