It's been such a long time since I blog and since I'm getting more and more efficient at work,, doing things faster and faster, giving myself so much free time, I've decided I'm going to blog in the office. It's pretty daring, since it's like morning and I'm sure everyone is rushing their work. Maybe if I blog in the evening not so bad, big boss gone and everyone relax, with music around. =)

Life has been pretty carefree after my night classes stop. I get to meet tt full of shit boy of mine like almost everyday. Sometimes I feel, life can be that simple and contented. Why bother to think so far ahead and worry all that might or might not happen? Why not just enjoy this moment. Everyone is happy at this moment and everyone is contented. Why not let it stay this way and stop causing trouble for people and for myself and just stay happy.

Seriously, I wish I could do it. I can, I'm almost there. But this stupid bug call insecurity keeps biting my heart. It's not things that people do, it's me. (what's new) when things go so well, I'm afraid it might end. When I'm happy, I worry this happiness is false and that it will end soon too. This bug is stopping me from seeking happiness beyond. I'm happy now but somehow I feel I can go further. I can be so much happier with I throw my worries one side. This is wad I seek.

Somehow, going to church and on every Sunday, I feel I'm closer to this real happiness I seek. It's a feeling beyond description but I know I truly cast everything aside and accept this happiness into me. I hope this is a good sign because I hope to keep this feeling there not only on Sundays but it can be spread over to everyday of the week. Haha.. but Monday can never be good. With Monday blues, nothing is going to make me happy and motivate.

I love that boy of mine and when he misunderstands or misinterprets me, I get real upset and hurt. Feels that he don’t understand. But God gave him to me to teach me how to love. You love someone not only when that person is sweet loving, mild tempered, reasonable and all. When you love someone, you love the person even when he is in a bad temper, no longer the sweet and loving person, when that person is ugly, ill mannered, you still love that person. You don't walk out on the person when that person is in distress and irritating everyone around him including you. That shows you cannot face this trauma with him, to leave him alone and all. That's wad makes love so beautiful. When a person's down, he feels most insecure during tt period of time, to walk out on him is the last thing you do to someone u claim to love.

I've got lots to learn but I'm willing to, for the one I love.