as the loneliness sinks in once again, the girl questions her existence. if things always turn out in a pattern that she could already forsee, why did she plunge in again and again. don't she deserve something more? maybe this is the fairness that's supposed to be.

as the night drags longer each time she lay in bed, the emptiness she felt gets stronger. fond memories rush in and out. pictures forming in her mind over and over again. pictures that were torn, dreams that were broken returns to haunt her each night. why issit the same old dream, she wonders. no one can answer, no one can wipe away the tears that threaten to brim over her edge of eyes. and all she could do is lie still and allow the tears that always promise a better tmr to flow. she did not even attempt to wipe them away as it would be pointless anyway.

even when the night turns into day and the sun attempts to shine in her room. she shunned it all away. she grew to like darkness, allowing the dark to haunt her. no amount of sunlight can penetrate through. even when the sun attempts to dry up her tears, she refuses it. she remember reading it from somewhere that in order for wounds to heal, she got to open up forthe sun to come in. she knows this theory very well. but too much sunlight scares her. she's not prepared because she believes that the sun will set and the night will fall again. she has reduced herself to someone who believes in vicious cycles and she's in a cycle that she can't get out. no matter how hard she try.

how cruel life may seem but she held on and move on, blocking a certain part of her away in the day. sometimes if she's lucky, she would be able to block it off at night and sleep dreamless. a missing piece of jigsaw will alwys remian missing. when it's not there, no other pictures will be ever complete.

now she just want those haunting dreams to leave her. it's just too much to bear for someone like her. waking up in sweat and tears. but does she really want those dreams to leave her? because it's only in those dreams that everthing is perfect. perfect life. if she had a choice, it wld be exactly wad happened. thought she noes then ending of this story, she wun regret becasue regret is never in her world. that's the only thing that helps push her on.

maybe one day, she will grow to love sunrise and the person she's going to share it with.

a reminder to myself in case i forget... she's returning.