if it's my efficiency that caused myself to do the extra work, i would just get upset with myself and frustrated but with myself. but it's not my inefficiency that made me work so late!! n i'm really pissed off about it....

- - - - - - -

felt much better after a pot of clam chowder... and yes, that's my dinner. i'm just worried abt tmr. how to finish the load of REPEATED WORK!!!!!!!!

arggg!!! clam chowder is not enough!!!!!

it's thursday and i am looking forward to friday cos i know it will end nicely. then a nice weekend will be spent with family, friends and my boy. though more time will be spent away from the boy but nvm, we'll make use of friday night after work.

work does get mundane on some days, but i'm getting used to it. i wun sae i hate it, in fact i'm ok to it to a certain extent. it opens me and show me what i might like and what i might not. time is on my side as of now and i'm going to make the best out of it and plan something for myself.

one big problem and that's money. it's not coming in faster than i would have like it to. i wanna change and revamp my whole wadrobe, the working clothes section. dunno where to start from and where to get the money from. grrrr.... but nonetheless......

i love weekends! =)

i have a love hate affair with public holidays. i love the fact that it gives me a longer weekend spent with the boy but i hate the fact that i go back to alot of piled up work waiting for me. haha... it's only singapore's public holidays, not other countries' that's why we have the piled up amount of work to do when we get back. i guess the long holiday is to prepare us for one of the busiest morning ever and the most rushed through lunch since i started work. o well... busy is good in a way also la, times flies.

i'm so glad the boy stays near where i stay. there's always a quick dinner together, taking the same bus home together. such short periods of time totally end my day on a happy note. it makes the day more bearable and it makes me dread tmr lesser as well.

do u noe soyjoy is really very nice. i take a bar with me to work nowadays, cos in case i get hungry in the afternoon or something. it's really v tasty, very much to my surprise. it's a tad too ex though. 1.85 for one.. tt's close to 2 dollars for at most 5 bites! maybe i should switch to quaker? or uncle toby... but soyjoy is really nice!!!! hahaa

how fast the past 3 days pass and here i m preparing for work tmr already. this is what working life is about yea? but at least i know i have a fruitful and nice weekend to look forward to every week. just that this coming week will be grandma's bdae celebration then watching a play on sunday too. katong laksa still on?

when i was at kino the other day, this book caught my attention. the title is how to spend less or something along that line. i flipped to the introduction page and the author said, if u picked up this book, it more or less show u know u are spending out of ur line and that u want to do something about it. haha.. yes i know, i need to save. big time.... i should really start organising my finances somehow, and save. no more nice foood for me, which is goood cos i am going to go on a diet, i am trying!!!!! =/

motivation, encouragement, love and care are all things i thrive on.

the man just don't get it. best slogan ever.

i love long weekends, i love sweet and nice weekends. i really do. but i hate the nagging feling somewhere at the back of my head telling me it's going to end soon or that work and sian-sation is waiting ahead of me.

and some silly boy just dun get any hints i gave him, and i tell u it's very obvious ones. i didn't even bother trying subtle ones!

it's a really goood day, a good start to the long weekend. maybe cos i started work, weekend seems more precious, sweeter? i m not entirely sure. maybe it's the alpha that i m attending, making the weekend feel so good? i really don't know. but i'm still smiling in front of the com now.

i had a really good day, good foood, good company and ended it on a sweet note. we had so much fun with 'The Ugly Truth", it really amazes me how long i've spent with this guy of mine and yet looking forward to more. God works in amazing way.... i don't doubt, i just wait and trust and on days like this, he simply brings me to cloud 9 and let me linger on.

i'm really happy. a nice weekend to compensate a decision made. =)

I don't know if I'd made the wrong choice. It's too early to tell. Maybe it's the fact that circumstances keep working against my favour.

Woke up at 5 to study and yet I don't feel like I'm ready, or rather I should say I don't feel refreshed and alert enough to be ready for the paper later. I'll do my best, all right but I can't wait to jump into bed at a super early time tonight already.

I just need a energy boost, somewhere, somehow to get me through this. Weekends therapy might help or maybe after 2 weeks or so, everything would have more or less settled.

i don't know... i can't think straight.

I read something today which made me deeply moved. Maybe at this point of time, it's still abit too complex for someone like myself to comprehend. but i'm going to remind myself, esp in times of needs that God always has a plan for us somehow.

It's coming into mind september already. i sometimes remind myself of a struggling person, maybe in waters. There's a log nearby and all i have to do is reach out to it and i can be saved, at least temporary. but yet, i refused to do so, i'm still trying to wait for an airplane to come, or even a boat, anything but that log. however, that log after so long, is still there... and i'm still waiting in vain. what am i looking for actually. i find it too tiring to go think, figure out or analyse. i want to do something for myself. something i can proudly declare the results of my determination.

somehow, i do feel good. despite of everything else in my life. i really do feel good. these few days.. i keep day dreaming, of somewhere in the future in about 5 yrs time. usual silly me. oh well....

i'm really angry with myself for the lack of discipline. i'm getting lazier and it's not benefiting me in anyway. why can't i do something about it.

help!!!!!

this weekend HAS TO BE PUT TO GOOOD USE!

i hate myself for being so weak and vulnerable. i hate myself for caring so much. the old saying is so true. the one who cares more loses most. being selfish seems like a better way out of this mess. i hate this feeling inside me. i hate it... time is on my side... and i hate it. i know what having time can do to me. i hate it. yucks.. everything sucks. big time!

love, hope and faith.... is all being put to test. and hope is plunging way down.