i always think twentieth (i've been typing for quite some time, i cannot figure out how to spell that, hope u guys get what i mean) birthday is very important. because it's like the first birthday towards prime. the BIG TWO. and yet, not necessary be a responsible adult like 21 yet. so you kinda get to enjoy best of both worlds. that's how i always feel. thus, i think 20th (why didn't i think of that before) birthday is very important. and i'm someone who always count down to my birthday one month before and get so excited about it. hee.. i think no one else gets more excited about my birthday than me. that's what i always think.

somehow, when the birthday that i so look forward to this year doesn't even cheer me up. i forgot about counting down, and i kind of dread it. it's sad. it's the day that leona was brought to this earth and that's the best thing worth to celebrate for me, isn't it? i feel sad. and it's not helping that, i cant even conjure out a list of things i want, cos i really cannot think of anything. this sucks! my precious day of the year....

i promise when i wake up the next day, things would be better. but i cannot stop the tears welling up each time i fall to sleep...