i finally realised why i cannot sleep early at night. i thought is because i m chatty, i want to talk on msn. i thought it was because i want to play games, play till wee hours. but i realised no. that's not the case at all. it's because i can't. when i lay in bed early, i tossed and turned maybe an hour? if lucky, lesser than that. basically, i can't sleep so early. my mind tend o wonder off. worrying about this, thinking about that. I think sooner or later, I will look older than my age and then gradually, i will look like a old hag. why can't my worries be cleared? why can't my anxieties be removed? sometimes i pray, and other times i cry. i don't know how long of this life can i stand anymore. how long can i tolerate all these anymore.

i don't know if it's all the thoughts, all the anxieties and problems stressing me up but the emotions cannot help but welled up inside me. i start to ponder and question. i'm so confused. still. i really need all the support i can get. i need pple to understand, to tolerate at this point of time. if not, i dunno what will happen. i might really collapse.

dear god..... pls give me an answer soon