this is sooo irritating!!! mi frens went to shop without mi! at first, i tot dey onli did window shopping but no!!! dey bought alot alot of things!!! i m deprived!! deprived of shopping! cannot find the time to shop.. cannot find anyone to go shop with mi but worst of all... no cash!!! this sucks!!! i wan money... i wan new clothes! grrrrr... this is soooooo irritating.. m sooo angry.... i need SHOPPING!!!

i finally start work liao... tho quite tiring but it's much better than slacking at home. however ar, todae's business not very good so got alot of free time to tink also. m quite worried about mi job now. i feel tt i might be sacked anytime... cos it's still under vietro.. and this company has to cut cost mah. sian... tt means i still hafta keep a tight lookout for jobs... so amelia, i m fine at the foodcourt, just bored and of cos tired cos hafta stand down there for a few number or hrs. mi body and legs are aching. and angel, u noe ar, for 16th april... u might either onli see mi or cf. cos now tt we are working at the same place.. both of us can't possibly get off on the same dae and same time mah... gosh.. i m really quite tired.. tmr working half dae.. but star work at ten.. better go recuperate now..

haik... wan to watch a show also so difficult. baby intend to leave the store earli todae to catch a show with mi but the show timing not very good. she dun realli dare to leave earli in case slam. i m tinking ar.. sumtimes might be fated. like fated we can't catch a show together todae or she can't meet mi todae or sumthing. haik haik.... read chinese horoscope yesterdae. dey sae mi horoscope and her horoscope not a good match at all.. sae wun last long and tt need alot of compromise... of cos i choose not to believe or rather.. i dun wan to believe... but she ar... believe in horoscope quite alot... m quite affected by it. haik haik haik.... soo troubled now... dunno whether still wan to watch the show anot. i noe even if she leave earli.. she will feel quite worried cos if anything do happen, she will get the blame... soo wad's the pt of getting her out earli when she will keep tinkin about the store... i wan to be more understanding... but i realli damn long never see her already... HAIK.. i miss her...

i m confirm working at the foodcourt already. tmr's mi last dae of enjoyment and good smell, ahaha. mi shifts next week is not soo bad, still managable, not as tough as the other time when i was working at the foodcourt. sooo this leaves mi time to practise mi organ and also do other things. woke up earli this morning and den went to cash in mi cheque. after tt, went bugis temple to pray den walk ard bugis... wanted to do sum shoppin but somehow, mi mood's not in it. den i found a quiet place and sat down to do sum reading... after tt, i walked over to suntec and accompanied cf for quite sumtime... until close to 8 i guess. wanted to meet my dar tonite cos quite long never see her but tink she meeting sumone else and also, i guessed she's tired... yawns... just staying at the foodcourt todae kinda drained out all mi energy and made mi smell a little fishy too.. can't imagine when i start work dere. i miss mi dar.. hopefully, tmr can get to meet her cos i wld start work on mon liao... tmr's qing ming... not shure if i hafta wake up earli to go out with family.... tiredzz

i realli dun wanna work at the fast food place so i kinda jumped at the offer to go back to the foodcourt to work. aniwae, besides tt i hated it alot once and it realli makes mi stink after working dere, i dun see why not. the pay is quite reasonable and the best part is i wld have cf with mi.. sooo i m not scared. maybe i wld just die on cf's off dae or sumthing but i figured out i wld suffer both at the fast food place and at foodcourt so y not foodcourt if i got cf with mi. aniwae, not very shure if i can get the job, things wld be more confirmed tmr. hafta settle sum stuff and inform the necessary pple. hee, guess i m still a worker of vietro after all.. just hope things wld be smooth sailing. realli praying damn hard. realli wan to start work asap.. m already rotting at home. received mi pay todae.. it's pathetic.. dun even noe can last mi for a week or not.. bleah.... wish mi luck tmr... bb went clubbing again... sooo bored... aniwae, mi and cf wanted to watch movie todae since we got the cash but apparently, we dun ve any luck. walked to bugis.. dey dun ve any anice shows on.. den went cine.. dun ve.. den lido... ended up sitting at starbucks and chatting... toking abt how nice if we got to work together... realli hope i can start work dere soon.. =) dis is da onli thing i can look forward to.

todae's a good good dae. went to da salon in the afternoon with mummy cos todae's her off dae. den went to parkway to meet amelia. it's been sooo long since i last saw her. as in go out with her and chit caht. saw her last week at funan tho, together with the energy fans. she cldn't get out of the q.. tt's y we cldn't realli catch up.. aniwae, we went giant after meeting up.. intending to find the cut watermelon which she claims the giant at IMM have but we cldn't find any. den we bought bread and chips and found a seat the da shopping centre, sat dere, ate and tok cock. it is fun... it feels soo long since i last enjoyed miself without having to tink abt anything else. den after tt, went foodcourt to ve our dinner. saw alot of vj pple... amelia sae vj's fav hangout place is parkway parade. aniwae, we ate kway chap.. ordered a meal and share, very economical.. ahaha..den we got to eat our cut watermelon!! ahaha.. ve been craving for watermelon since last nite cos she kept tempting mi... after tt, we walked all the way towards katong side and took a bus. on the way dere... amelia keep saying how good it wld be if she has a blog... den she started tellin mi wad she want to blog.. like how boring was orietation @ vj todae was.. and how happy and excited she is to meet mi.. ahahhaha... amelia.. i noe u love mi!!! =) haven't seen mi baby for 2 daes... miss her!

i finally fell sick. =( actualli, i kinda felt it coming cos these few daes, not feeling very good. guess, it's just accumulation lor. i wld see it as a good cause. after i recover, everything's gonna start anew. i dun wan to be the weak little girl i was for the past few daes. m gonna keep mi life occupied.. i figured out tt wld be the best way for mi right now. need to divert mi attention away frm her. she ar.. sooo un gentle todae... i sick ar... also dunno how to show concern wan leh. kinda slacked at home the whole dae todae.. cldn't find the energy to do anything else except watching tv... tmr's gonna be a better dae!

woke up at 11. haven't done anything at all. haven't eat a proper breakfast. haven't bathed. mi mind is in a blank. i dunno wad to think, wad to do, feel so unmotivated. i dunno if i've done the right thing to cling on to it. i realli dun wan to be hurt again but by clinging on, the chances of her hurting mi seemed pretty high. clinging on.. i dun even noe wad m i clinging on to. pple are concerned for mi. i noe. so dey tell mi to give up and get over it. it's not easy... if i can do so, i wun even cling on. i want to noe exactly wad's she tinking. mi mind is in a blank... can't focus on anything... i need to tok to sumone.. but hu...

"shld we put a stop to this... sorrie"
how am i not supposed to get hurt when she tell this dis... dis morning. i told her it's so unfair to mi. she said she dun wan us to get hurt even more in da future. cos da amt of hurt wld increase as da daes go by. it's realli unfair. i m hurt not cos her ans to mi is still a no but cos i tot we were getting on pretty fine and she sudenly just brought this issue up. i noe this issue has been dere all the while but y must she bring it up.. out of nowhere. had a long lengthy tok with her... we are fine now.. but i can't help tinking what wld happen if she brings it up again.. i really dun tink i can take it... i realli like her alot. supposed to go out with angel, cf and xw todae.. apparently.. i dun ve da mood. and the best part is angel and cf came mi hse todae. cos like first sae go cf's hse... den xw cannot make it.. den sae go xw's hse.. but damn far.. i dun feel like travelling... den in the end, decided to cum mi hse... i guessed we kinda made angel quite pissed. guess she's realli looking forward to todae wan leh... den like we dun ve any concrete plans or anything.. and summore venue change soo many times.. and mi hse very far away mah.. den da best part is when dey are over @ mi hse.. didn't ve the time to entertain dem. cos jie and deborah were online... den had to tok to dem.. miss both of dem alot.. it's been long since i tok to dem mah.. den jie kinda wanna dif out mi love life.. soo i told her a little... she kinda advised mi to give up lor. she sae it's not worth it or sumthing... told her i realli like mi dear lot... but she asked mi.. how much do i noe her to like her.. and sae i haven't seen enough pple and the world to noe wad's true liking or even true love... which is true.. but i noe i was damn hurt this morning... i realli dun wanna lose her.. glad things r fine now. told jie wld tink thru wad she said... but i guessed i wld still make da same chioce..

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....

todae's mi second french klass. was taught more todae... sooo a little harder to catch up. back to the basics such as verb, adverb, forming questions blah blah. i better go revise them later. the rest of the klass seem to be catchin up with no prob so i must work hard also, wun wan to waste money go dere learn nothing. dis week is term holidae so organ teacher wun be coming.. tre bien... cos i didn't practise at all since the last time she left. better start tmr, promised baby i wld do it. aniwae, kinda found a job already but it's at a new fast food concept place. dere wld be training before work officially starts. pay same as vietro. training wld start on the 29th.. tt means frm now to the 29th, i wld be slacking away. aniwae, m sick and tired working as a waitress. furthermore, dun wanna work in a fastfood type of place leh...i m not a very fast person to start with.. sian.. tinking of doin admin stuff or maybe as sales girl. actualli, if it's not cos got no income, i dun even feel like working animore... but no chioce.. dun wanna stay at home and hear mum nag non stop abt not getting a job and m realli realli broke nowadaes. can't wait for poly to open school in a way... haik. baby went clubbing todae.. it's been a long time since she went clubbing. i shldn't be upset or anything cos it's a time for her to do sum catching up with her frens but i realli wan to go with her lor. tmr is cf's offdae... haven't plan anything yet... and surprisingly, no one call and ask mi about it.. and tt silly xinying.. haven't reply whether can she make it.. dun tink she's in singapore leh.. cos called her hp and it's off... aiyah.. head damn pain!

yawnz.. good morning... didn't have a good sleep last night. was already falling aslp when suddenly jolted awake... dunno y.. den after a long time, finally got to slp... woke up suddenly at 6.. i m always tired after being unable to slp peacefully thru the night. hate to wake up suddenly out of nowhere and den will ve a hard time to get back to slp wan... neway, yesterdae afternoon was a mad rush. was actualli rotting at home when suddenly cf call and she cannot stop crying... i was soo worried tt i took a damn quick bath and rush down to suntec... took a cab.. ys also rushed down frm her church.. actualli, wad happened was tt cf cldn't take da stress working at suntec foodcourt... i guess it must ve been very tough... i mean after all, tho she's v capable and tolerant, she's still 17... i guess she shld be fine by now.. will arrange a dae so tt all of us can go out.. and help her to relax and enjoy or sumthing... =) watched butterfly effect yest... it's a goood show! u can't even stop concentrating for a sec... it feels like if u just blink.. u wld miss out alot.. i love the show! =) gg for an interview later... and a job search.. can't stand being at home, doin nothing... no income.. no life..

this is no good. ve been slacking for an entire week already. didn't put an effort to go look for job. neither did i put an effort in practising the organ. haik, wad's wrong with mi. went out with winnie yesterdae. went funan due to mi little request. guess it was a bad chioce to go funan all thanks to those energy fans who cldn't stop screaming.. it can be quite irritating when u are trying to talk over dinner and havin to raise ur voice cos u can't hear each other. aniwae, amelia was at funan. it's been quite long since i saw her and she finally passed mi the notebook... =) after dinner, we left funan and headed to town to get her wax.. ahaha, i noe nothing about wax lor.. den sat at paragon to chi chat... wanted to tok to her longer but need to end off earli cos dear finished work liao den went to eat supper with dear. yesterdae, baby and i chatted for quite a long time before falling aslp. it's quite a miracle cos usually ard one am or so, she wld fall aslp on mi.. chatted till 3 plus... it was a good tok... wadever the situation is now... m not prepared to leave her.. hope she feels da same way too.. not sure if meeting her later... but i miss her..

had mi first french klass yesterday. hmmm, it was errr.... not too bad. i found it quite hard to catch up tho. yansing also. the teacher spoke with a french accent, which makes it even harder for mi to understand her. but overall.. it was not too bad... learnt quite alot of things.. hopefully, the next lesson wld be better.. =) woke up not too long ago, still out of job. y didn't anyone call mi yet? haik, organ teacher cuming in less than half an hr's time.. so sian. didn't practise at all lor... when she cums, she wld most prob nag and nag non stop again.. mi organ exams are coming sooon.. real sooon... die lah... everything's sooo frustrating... aniwae, goin out with dz later.. =) sooo sweet of her to msg mi again and date mi yeterdae tt i found it hard to reject her even if it means i hafta rush like mad. better go bathe and touch the orgain for a while... or else ar.... hear no end frm mi teacher manz

tho i stopped working liao, still went down to funan for the past 2 daes. cannot resist goin down to see mi baby... hee. now still got time to do all the travelling but wait till school starts, dun tink wld have the time.. m gonna miss mi baby soo much den. but i shall not think about it now. aniwae, tmr.. mi french klass startin liao! sooo exciting yea... and sorrie mi ever dearest junior tt i can't go out with u tmr.. m realli realli sorrie.... i tink she's angry with mi. dun be, k... we wld go out another dae.. soon... =) m still slacking around, waiting for pple to call mi and give mi the job... aniwae... better go bathe and wait for her call. tmr's gonna be a beautiful dae!

gooood morning!! slept till now. guess i m officially out of job already. dun tink mi company wld want mi back after the one wk break. aniwae, found another job liao but tt one ar, working hrs quite little.. dun tink i can earn much leh. gosh... need to find another job.... on top of mi new found one. haven't been practisng organ for days... haven't been reading the papers for days... i feel so slacked once again. gosh.. better do sumthing about it. aniwae, baby asked mi a question yest which caught mi dere. she asked if we wld drift apart.. at tt pt of time.. i just shook mi head confidently... but now ar... i m not so confident. mi ans wld be i dun wan to drift away yet at the same time, i m not shure wad wld happen. she predicted tt the full shift almost everydae wld last for one mth. she wld be sooo busy and tired with work all this while... gosh.. i really hope nothing wld happen between us while we are apart... dun wanna lose her... got many many movies i wanna watch.... got many many things i wanna buy... money not enough already.... maybe i need 3 jobs instead... ahhaa. mum's on leave todae.. boring... hafta face her at home. she wanted to ask mi out to ve dinner with grandma.. her mum... but i already have a date with baby... hmmm... tmr goin back to sch... for thanksgiving mass.. =)

went to nyjc to watch a play. actually, it was more of going there to support xiu wen, mi ever dearest girlfriend! tho she's not one of da cast, i m still very nice to her leh... bought tix frm her. went there with baby... tink baby tot it was a little boring but i can tell tt she really enjoy sum parts which were pretty funny. after da play, felt a little weak.. in da sense tt no energy was left in mi.. dunno y... felt a little sick. baby gg clubbing tonight. it was really sweet of her to act. call and ask mi whether she can go... cos she's having an eye infection and those places realli make her eyes worse. she went on tues liao and true enough, her eyes got worse.... aniwae. i let her go cos baby very poor thing. the whole of next week, she practically got no life at all. which brings mi to another v important issue. mi company is cutting cost and da whole of next week, i do not need to report for work.. i kinda tink i got "retrenched". i must start looking for a second job already. even if the company still wans mi.. mi workin hrs wld be GREATLY reduced... sooo it wld be better to look for another job... still need to do sumthing before i start sch in july. lesser working hrs means i wld get to see her lesser. and also cos she has to work full shift.... can hardly meet up lor.... =( i m gonna miss her alot. aniwae... ve registered... i m gonna take banking and finace in sp.. and da best part of it all is ys is cuming with mi! yay!!! and also.. i ve changed fone.. not using tt ugly samsung fone... changed to nokia 6100. nothing impressive but m just holding this fone until da new fone cums out.... den i can trade this in and buy new fone... =) i miss her... alot...