sobz. why is everyone in sch now. m feeling realli down and shitty now. i need to complain to sumone, need to tok to sumone yet i cannot find anyone. da best part is i wun start work till 4 and tt leaves mi alot of time to tink at home. da more i tink, da worse i feel. it all started when she called mi last nite, or rather earli this morn when she got home after clubbing. ya, it's her tt's affecting me. hu esle can it be at this pt of time. hate dis kinda feeling. it just shows tt she's getting more and more impt to mi to affect mi this bad. realli hate miself. hate miself for crying to sleep last night. i told miseld when things are under this kind of unknown situation, never let miself get hurt and not to drop a single tear. this is da second time. and da worse thing is... i hate miself for putting in soo much when she is not. i m not asking her to make a decision but the fact tt she has to consider things already depressed mi liao. i m not impt to her enough for her not to consider other things and just make a chioce. grrrr.... this is irritating mi.. and affecting mi badly... y can't i treat things lightly... ya.. i noe the reason.. i ve sunk quite deeply... i noe no matter how things ended up.. i wld get hurt through the process and ultimately at da end. this is bad... i realli hate miself for being so wishy- washy.... sumone just give mi a tight slap and wake mi up frm this....