i believe everything happens for a reason and some things didn't happen, also for a reason. i believe that things are all meant to be, so no matter how hard you try or fight for it, if it's not meant to be yours, it will never be. that's why i believe in sign, i believe that they are the link that help us connect the whole bigger picture.

gradually, i started to believe every little thing is a sign. i believe signs more than anything else... and that's where my negativity comes in. like the sky is dark this morning, and then i will think it's related to my mood or to the day that's going to come. and if the day really does go bad, i will think i am right. little did i realise is because i have such thoughts, that's why my day went bad, cos sub consciously, i'm already thinking the day would be bad. yes.. this i begin to understand i realise.

and when i cannot keep things under my control, i panic, i worry i get insecure. this is all part of negativity and i do realise it. this is a good sign because if i realised it, then i can change.... if i dun even know where the problem lies in, i can't do anything about it at all, right?

don't know why but after watching spiderman today, had lots of thoughts and feelings. like about responsibilities, about character.. about vengence, about forgiveness and abt relationships. like being together doesn't mean you are ready to be together. now i know why God created a man and a woman meant for each other only. like there's only one soul mate only. cos that's the soul mate that's gg to accompany you forever, to understand you like no one could, to compliment you, making you feel best like no one could, to pick you up when you are down and to share your joy when you're way on top. and to accomplish all these, to have all these traits, it's only that ONE soul mate. that is why when you found someone u love and feel that it's ur soul mate, do cherish it. he or she might be that one. and u wun want to lose him or her.

i am starting to believe more in these. and also about understanding and forgiveness..... is this God's works? I know he has already taken some place in my heart..... and i'm ready for more.

i wanna buy cushion!!! lamp!!! cD!!!!! random thoughts...