when i read, i really read. i put myself in the scene, in the plot. i feel for the characters, i feel their joy, share their smiles, feel their anger and understand it, feel their sadness and their heartache. i really can feel it. tt's how intense i read my comics. people may look at me and say, why bother to be so serious. it's just pictures, but i dun think so. and my emotions tell me so. i smile when they smile... laugh at their silliness, feel angry when things are not justified, fear when they fear and cry when i see them cry. it's the heart aching agony....

boon is right. either she and i feel the same about some stuff or maybe she noes me well. every page i flipped, my heart ached. every second i read.. the more i read, the more choked up i feel. it's hard to explain. i'm sure it's the comic. a big part of it tt made me feel this way. but this small part is calling out to me. don't ignore it. cos it wun go away. that's what it's shouting to me. maybe tt explains why i off my laptop... and lay in bed, thinking and thinking, and i woke up, switched on the lappie and started blogging. i just need to pen it out. in this case, type it out. i just need to let it out. but how... cos i dun noe how i started.

they sae.. the root of the problem is usually the problem itself. but wad happens when i dunno wad's the problem. i feel like some troubled teen. but i noe í'm over that stage.. tormented? maybe not tt bad.. somewhere in between? i've lost my soul. i'm not someone who will escape. i mean who am i kidding, that voice in me wun go away, no matter how far i run. so i decided to face it. but wad do i get? question marks? and more of them.. blanked. totally blanked out.

i have solutions to it. but i dunno how to go aobut applying. i'm afraid one wrong attempt, and i wun even dare to try again. i'm like going back to those days. pretense, false nonchalent, feign ignorance. there is something in me tt i've lost and i need to get it back. where. how? there are things lying in front of me to do. there are pple ard me for me to exend my hand out to. i'm doing everything tt i can. somewhere somwhow, not enough. i'm not trying hard enough. either tt.. or i've lost it. i dunno how to do it. i've lost it.

i'm not making sense. i'm getting incoherrent. tt's exactly how i feel now. but on a lighter note, i'm glad tt i ve who i ve in my life. dun doubt urself.

i've just got to pick myself up. tt's for sure.

but where. where did i last leave myself.... how do i trace back when everything has been wiped away like the traces i left in the sand.. being washed away by the waves.

where....