so wad's new in my life. nothing much i guess. chatted with angel for a while last night when i got home. realised m very outdated when it cums to sch life cos i didn't even noe that the hols ve started already. updated angel on my life and she did so too. i miss her alot. used to see her almost everydae last time and now... we agreed to meet up as soon as possible.. after mi last dae of work which hopefully wld be this coming sundae. baby wants mi to work 4 more daes after this sundae.. four full shift to earn the money.. she's mad... i told her mi body cannot take it anymore.. physically and mentally.. i need to enjoy! i need to buy clothes and party! i need to meet up with so many pple... i deserve this enjoyment, k! aniwae, heard that after the hols, wld be their mid yrs.. angel, xiuwen etc etc all need to study. time is limited.. and like hafta neet up before i go to thailand for hols. baby shifted house yesterdae.. i went to the new house on sat, wanted to stay over but mi mum dun allow, ended up taking a cab.. not cheap, k.. fmr her place back to mine plus the midnight charge. mum refused to pay... m soo angry with her.. let mi stay overnight and i dun hafta spend a cent wad! 5 more daes to organ exams... stressed... hopefully i wld do well, i wan to do well. goin over to baby's place to stay on sat. haven't told mum yet. haik, haven't spend enough time with her ever since... last week? i miss her.. and i miss xiuwen, angel and xinying too! and yansing.. tt girl ar, ever since our french klass ended.. and she didn't go for the last lesson summore, haven't been keepin in touch much.. dunno wad is she busy with. gosh, i wan to stop work soooonn... den can enjoy... mi and cf even wrote down all the places we wld go after we quit and all the things we wanna do.. i can't wait!

todae is such a terrible dae. had an argument with baby last night, didn't get much sleep and woke up very early this morning... aniwae, sorrie baby... i hafta admit i m not sensitive enough. and work is still as tiring as ever.. many unpleasant thing happened. cf and i wanted to quit even before the 10th cos tt girl cannot stand it animore and she even agreed to pay mi for mi losses.. but ultimately, we need to ask frankie about it and haik, he sae he cannot find replacement so he cannot release us. =( went home this afternoon in the rain. was so cold and drenched... it's been such a long time since it rained and yet, i hafta be in it.. and can't enjoy it.. wtf... was practically shivering while waitin for bus at the bus stop. it's really terrible... i dun feel good... never meet baby todae.. =( i miss her tho she can be soo annoying and irritating at times....

4 continuous daes of full shift and i feel as if half of mi is dying... mi feets hurts, mi whole body aches... cf and ys went to watch movie todae... laws of attraction.. i hate this show manz.. this show has sumthing against mi.. always dun get to watch it one.. 16 more daes to freedom and liberty... can't wait! m confirm goin thailand in the third week of june.. can't wait manz... dere are many things for mi to look forward to in the mth of june. must meet up with everyone.. catch up, gossip... dress up blah blah blah.. cannot wait. m working half dae tmr, den cuming back to practise mi organ.. must do well... gosh.. m sooo tired... and i miss mi baby alot..

she has her own life and i have mine too. how many time must i repeat this thought in mi head. she dun owe mi any explanation and i dun owe her any too. we are two diff pple frm two diff worlds, wad can i sae... she has been very nice to mi... i m not very mean to her too... m confused wad i wan or rather wad can i wan frm her. how much can she offer or rather how much is she willing to offer to mi. maybe this type is not wad i wan. m not a person for this... gosh.. m goin a little mad and paranoid.... it happens when one is feeling down.... =(

it's been such a long time since i last blogged. myabe it wasn't tt long after all. not much things happened, m still me stuck at work. feeling as if i didn't spent quality time with my baby and also all mi frens out dere. haven't been updating dem and haven't let dem update mi abt their lives. actualli looking forward to the 6th of june cos it's the last dae tt i wld work but m extending it, dun ask mi y, it's all due to the root of all evil-- money. and it's also cos of mi organ exam on the 5th. teacher has requested mi to take off daes a few daes before 5th... and in order to make up for those off daes, m extending mi last dae of work to maybe until the 10th? =( very tired. everything's so boring and so down. everything's so demoralising like wad cf said. 17 yrs old... is this how we wanna spend our time before we start sch. cf wans to quit but she feels bad abt leaving mi there. i told her i wld be fine yet sub consciously, m making her feel bad.. wad's wrong with mi. i just can't stand loneliness yea? wad's wrong with mi.. i m the one hu wants the money.. y m i making cf suffer... m just selfish... i noe tt... m not a saint... can't go ard making everyone happy when i m not feelin tt good miself... work is terrible.. exams are coming.. it's horrible... dun even noe whether i wld pass, waste of money and time if i dun. make mayne pple disappointed if i dun esp mi teacher and baby. teacher sae if i do well, she wld allow mi to skip da next grade.. baby sae if i do well, she wld give mi a BIG treat and a movie.. very attractive... maybe it's just not in mi. i m not interested in music right frm the start... have been dragging on for ten over yrs... =( wad happened to mi dream of completing music before i m 20? wad happened to all mi dreams.. everything's realli not goin well for mi... used to have frens ard mi supporting mi. mi frens are all busy now... m shure dey give mi moral support but it's just not the same... just read finish everyone's blog.. hmmm.. wad can i sae.. m soo un updated...

was quite angry with bb this morning. she lah! told mi last night she wld cum and pick mi up and go have breakfast together den dis morn, she overslept, i cldn't even wake her up cos she cldn't even hear the fone! was quite diasppointed. mi bb is such a lazy pig and as usual.. i cldn't get angry with her for long. she and tt tongue of hers... ahaha.. aniwae, it's been such a tiring dae for me, dunno why.. very sian... almost wanted to leave work at 6 in the evening and leave cf dere alone but in the end, cldn't bear to do it.. i noe even if i cum home, i wun feel at ease. m very very tired... m working earli shifts in the following week.. tired.... i tink i better start planning mi time well. organ exam cuming... and 3 more weeks to quitting.. can't wait.. can't wait to get pay too.. m feeling rather broke.. m practically living off cf these daes... dad is mad.. first sae thailand is very dangerous.... and he sae malaysia also dangerous.. dun care! m going tioman.. or wherever for an holidae before mi sch starts... and tt's final.. it's sumthing i look forward and motivate mi to pass this bloody may... may is such a long mth.... tired.... realised i haven't been understanding towards mi bb this few daes.. sorry yea.... m just being oversensitive and overly emotional.. ahahha.. wad's new..

dun feel good all over. woke up this morning with an ultra dry throat. ve a few ulcers in mi mouth. everything hurts. feel like a dying person. everything ard mi seemed so demoralising sumhow. todae working afternoon shift. this is so contradicting. i want to earn more money yet i wan to work lesser hrs, wad's wrong with mi. organ exam is coming real soon, da date is out. i m not doin well, dunno izzit due to lack of practise or wad, i m just not getting there. i feel like i wld fail badly this time. mi teacher is not being very encouragin.. everything is getting soo horrible. b is not having a smooth time too. things are getting pretty rough over at her side so i dun wish to bother her as much as i can. i m right.. may is indeed a horrible month. i can't wait for it to be over... da number of pple tt i can actualli tok and whine to is decreasing... i do feel very demoralised... everything is just not goin mi way....

happy mama's dae! went vietro to celebrate mother's dae... mi uncle's idea of cos. big family celebration is not da same without mi dearest debbie... it just feel diff. niwae, got to tok to her for a while cos she called just now... found out many things... i miss her alot. toda'es celebration started quite late and ended earli... it felt kinda rushy... usually wld end later one.. maybe cos vietro had to close and mi uncle got sumwhere else to go. tmr goin sp for enrolment... it's surprising how fast time flies.... it felt onli daes ago when i just got mi enrolment package.. and tmr is mi enrolment dae liao! going with ys.. gotta wake up damn earli... ahahha.. todae's mi off dae!!! sooo tiring to work nowadaes... everything seemed soo meaningless and repetitive... quite sian.. no sense of achievement... i can feel frm cf tt she is very tired already.. now, even the money is not an attractive factor animore to both of us.. we just can't wait to stop work.. planning to quit on the first week of june... cf cannot take it animore.. and neither can i... n da worse thing.. she hafta work more than mi cos i gotta prepare for mi organ exam end of this mth... scared she wld break down... dun wan her to.. noe she's quite stressed up.. sorry, mi fren... tmr's mi off dae again! good for mi... but cf's not too glad about it.... weather's soo hot nowadaes.... make everyone very grumpy.... niwae.. i miss mi darling....