there are many things in this world that we cannot anticipate. what answers will he give us or what will she think if i do certain things. i find this very intimidating but that's the nature of life.

things are getting frosty. and i'm getting tired. no more anticipation, no more expectations. not everyone can afford to have expectations of others. it's hurting in ways we never know hurts.

i've been stuck in this for a very very long time. either i gave up looking for the exit or i dun wanna exit. i dunno which is it. where am i?

on a nicer thing to note.... studying has been more productive this week thus far as compared to the many weeks before. KEPP UP THE GOOD WORK, LEONA. haha.. =)

i just send my fav girl/nightly addiction/motivator/entertainer off to china. shanghai is taking away all pple from me than necessary! how am i going to survive every night for 3 months? i might just end up sleeping early? my nights are going to be sooo boring! the ten packs of milo won't last 3 months!! =( =( =(

plus, i even accidentally lost the msg. OH GOSH!! i m such a mess ALREADY!!!! =( =(

how many times have this happen? how many times have i felt like this after the argument? how many times i tried to avoid but simply couldn't stand it and retort? I'm really tired. I hate myself for being weak sometimes. I should be able to prove something. i should be able to strive harder to make my mark, to prove something.

but who am i proving it to. i dun think happiness comes after proving and all. where's the happiness den. this shouldn't happen all the time, during the crucial time of my life. why are things made difficult for me.

i must be very weak. i'm so sick of u. of me. of all these.

caviar plus vodka and then durian after a while then B&J ice cream after that. i know, what a combination right.

mummy is right. we do know how to enjoy life.

I chanced upon this photography website today and as much as I wanted to show you guys a few pictures from it, i couldn't copy and paste them.

Something the photographer mentioned in his website caught my attention somehow. That he hopes the photos inspire us to love and think about falling in love. I always think that falling in love is not a difficult thing. What's something to cherish and precious is more of finding someone you love who loves you back. And after you find that someone, it's even harder to maintain a relationship, to balance it and to live with this person for the rest of your life. So if you have found the one, cherish and treasure, give and take is ok... and even if you haven't found the one, continue searching cos love finds you.

"For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live."

Wedding vows are the most touching words and most beautiful words to hear and to say. People should always take them serious and in times of troubles or doubts, we should always remember we have vowed to support our partners for life and this is a promise we made to him/her and to God.

Weddings are so beautiful.. not that i'm craving for mine. just that, i would really liek to start a career somehow along that line. hmmmm.

http://rebirthphotography.com/?load=flash

what do we eat on a rainy day and when u are feeling lazy, yet have no wish to cook or go downstairs and buy food?

we have steamboat! and that's how we spent Good Friday before the boy goes for duty tmr.

haven't been studying real hard, and i'm thinking when i can really focus and drive away all the distracting thoughts. something is amiss, but i can't figure out what is.

the closest i can get to peanut butter chocolate.

have been snacking alot these days and this has not happened since a very long time. the exams are getting into me. i get frustrated over the smallest things. vexed and irritated..... grrrrrr

not looking forward to the rest of April.

so dejected, so rejected, so unaccepted and so unworthy of sympathy..... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

there are days i felt truly intoxicated, enough to forget what's important and enough to avoid as much as possible before i have to face reality. however, there are also days when the harshness of it all really gets to me. i know i can't expect cherry days all the time. but i don't know how to deal with all of these...

my self proclaimed holiday has come to an end.... i'm in a v v v bad state now.

First and foremost, i'm really sorry to make your eyes suffer due to poor quality of my pictures. i know my usual camera is not that fantastic to begin with but these are much worse. reason being they are taken by my phone. i know i need to change phone. i need and want lots of things and all of which require money. mum went taiwan so i lend her my camera, which she came back and tell me she never use. tsk. anyway, i'm sure you guys are really concerned about how nic's birthday celebration went. here it is.

if u can actually read, it's actually the "poem" for the month on my monthly calender. so apt. toking abt cakes.

i did a table setting for him... with "candle". couldn't use real candles cos u guys know my house already very hot, so i had to make do with fake ones.

does he look very pale in this pic? or issit the camera. no pictures on the food, my bad. he was sick on his birthday and didn't really recover until this morning actually. nice tiramisu cake, for kids he sae.. cos no alcohol taste in it. anyway, he couldn't even eat much of his fav. that shows how sick he is.

so it's a birthday well spent. though he's sick and all but at least we created more memories together.

Lately, i've been giving some thoughts how to build up on my assets. my liabilities i know, daily expenses being all of it plus occassional spurlge but i got no income coming in for me to spend like this. the only way i can go about spending is to build up on my assets first, this way, my assets can earn money for me which i can then spend. hmmmm.......