it's been 12 days since your departure. i guess the effect is kicking in finally. my tracks are getting a little blurry and i don't know where this long-winding road will take me. or even when it ends. i'm just bumping along the way, trying to toughen myself up as day by day goes by. don't get me wrong, i'm not being weak here. i'ts just this effect coming all over me, that's making everyday difficult to get by.

school officially ends. cos i choose not to go this sat's class after the last one i go last week. it's crap. i'm pretty much on my own. there's alot at stake. and i don't wanna be a loser after the end ofthe game. yet, i'm not hardworking enough. grr, mummy didn't give me interllect when she gave birth to me, why didn't she pass her genes of perserverence or hardworking-ness like she so proclaimed she had? i have neither. tt's doom to fail yea!???

let's go library and study again. i love it there