some people pointed out before, life is like a drama, a play, a stage where everyone has their own roles. and today, i reflected upon this line.

it's like we all have our own roles to act out to play, though there might be multiple roles per person but when it comes to interactions between the different actors in your life, there are just some limits how hard you can try to perfect this life of yours. you can play ur life to the fullest, doing or playing each role very well but when u it comes to having other roles interacting with you, u cannot control how well they play their role, how serious they play their role. you cannot even talk about perfection because ur perfection might not be others.

like for me, to be a student, i attend classes, i study. even when i m lazy, i know it's not my limits yet and i can push myself further. another role, teaching. i try my best to impart whatever i know. i try to make them understand. but whether they do well or not is entirely not up to me. it's like even how perfect u play your role, u cannot control how others play theirs. so when my students dun do well, i reflect, like whether was it me, i didn't do enough or was it them? did they play their part as a student well.

like when i'm attached now, my role as a gf is blah blah blah. but i cannot control how my bf is like, or how he treats me. like maybe in my perfect r/s, my bf should be like this, like tt. but to him, he might already feel tt he did his best, it's just not perfect in my drama, my play, my life. so this is where my reflection comes in. i got to learn how to perfect my life, in areas where i can do it and learn how to appreciate other people's efforts in my life. and even if these are not perfect to me, i need to see the effort put in by others. i cannot always want a life tt i want. i m no longer playing barbie where i control barbies' life. or even sims, where i control their life.

it takes 2 hands to clap, takes 2 hands to hold. takes 2 hands to give u warmth. i just wanna play my part well and whatever happens in the future, it's not up to me. i'll pray and leave it to the hands of God.

anyway, mum's back. i'm so excited. i have lots and lots of korean instant noodles. looks like my mugging days will not be hungry though i really need to go on a diet. mum and baby say i am fat!! anyone noes how to go on a more efficient diet!????? i need to buy running shoes soon soon soon!!!