this has got to be the worst weekend since a very long time, well technically, i really did have lots of fun on sat with my love but i had to deal with one disappointment after another all in a span of the last 24 hours.

of course, my love was being very very sweet and nice to me throughout and it really helped. I just wished time would stand still and i dun have to go out and face it. can i hide for a weeek and get some other people to deal with it?? gosh....

this is what happens to building a r/s and trust.

i'm overwhelmed with thankfulness that i have such a nice and happy childhood and that i don't have absent parents. This meant alot to me as a only child and that they took the time to attend all functions, events or whatever performance i have. i still remember when i was younger and had to go take my theory exams, these are usually held in schools, different schools around singapore. I made my mum wait for me and make her promise that i will see her when i come out of the room. ahahha.. those were the days.

even if they made mistakes in parenting here and there... this is one thing i have to applaud them for and one good role model that i can look up towards. i hope to be there for my child next time... rain or shine

i feel so ignored these days and misunderstood these days

i never know how to ride on my own momentum, and just like cycles occur to me. so i will never progress this way. i always spiral downwards, then up then down. I should have take the advantage when I am up!

I'm abit lost right now, not sure what to ask for. So I'll pray for God's will to be done. Whatever happens, I will just accept.

meanwhile.. be happy!

you don't always put down all your things and attend to me.

life is so frustrating already, do i need this? but if i don't attend to it, who will? i don't wanna wake up one day to find you missing in my life.

As this is the cooling day, I have time to think, read and think somemore. This is my first time electing and boy, is this a spectacular time, with 82 seats contested out of 87. The heat is on!!!

For areas like Tampines, I don't see much issue which is a weird thing. People Like MBT and Wong Kan Seng should be feeling the heat and not people like Minister George Yeo. I quote somewhere, good candidate, wrong constituency.

I'm a Tampines girl and I love my area. I don't fancy the MP though. I relate to Nicole Seah. 12 years staying in tampines but never meeting my mp and with people around me telling me about how MBT screw up with the public housing and all, i don't know how to support and like him. But frankly speaking, the problem of the public housing is already there. I want to hear wad each party can think of how to solve the issue and so far, i don't like what I heard. There is no feasible confirm can solve this issue.. and importantly, i need the current scheme to stick because i planned my finances based on that. If the new scheme or anything comes in to disrupt it, i'm not i;m able to get my place anytime soon. And frankly, I'm fine with Tampines being better than alot of other areas. The biased-ness is to my favour so good for me and bad for the rest of the people lo.

Who needs real shaking up.. is really bishan's wong kan seng. Heard from chin, her side always walk over... seriously... he needs to take things more seriously NOW!!!! when people talk about having different voices in parliament.. i totally 100% agree.. but can take away those disgusting ones.. and not someone like minister George Yeo or not. He is one of the better ones and pls, I don't even stay in Aljunied now anymore but my heart goes out to him.

I hope he makes it. The last election his votes v close to opposition, my heart heaved a BIG SIGH of relief! I really like him, I hope he makes it.

This is really a month-end syndrome that I'm facing, or rather I would like to label it as that rather than admitting that I'm finding excuses for myself

Today, I was taught we need renewal and rejuvenating of our body, mind and soul. I think I'm very lacking in the second department.

I'm feeeling so "????" right now. I should find a word for it.... any suggestions? It's like a combination of restless-ness/sianess, tiredness of the mind, zombified, spaced out and a lot of other mixed and confused emotions. I need a word for such thing. A codeword....

Ah! I feel so bunnified. I just thought of that word, random i know but whatever~ I just wanna scream somewhere.... I might even delete this stupid post, for now, i just wanna rant

i know what i want for my wedding!! celebrity STYLE!!

hahaha.. this is the effect after watching some celebrity couple get married. hahaa

feels goood after some retail therapy, though nothing for myself. but i still feel good being able to buy things. =)

i really wanna get that puzzle to do but i'm not sure if i have the time to complete it. but I FEEL LIKE

second time on lrt, and one more time on Sunday again. Seriously, why is everyone in that area, far away from me!

Distance is getting to me and I'm getting more disoriented and disorganised... after a long hard day at work, i came hope to fall in the toilet. Now I have an ugly blue black below my knee!! BOO! =(

for You alone deserve all glory
for You alone deserve all praise
Father we worship and adore You
Father we long to see Your face
for You alone deserve all glory
for You alone deserve all praise
Father we love you
and we worship You this day

this is so exciting. mummy got a new lenovo, i secretly named it black pearl for her. haha... and cos i drag her to the IT show with me, i got a printer as well! =) a really good one to serve my purpose. now, i can do alot more things at home, in case office space gets too cramped.

speaking of which, i will be moving to tanjong pagar officially tmr. =) life's great, everything's great.. it would have been better if i get my 2 responses soooon. ahahaha

love love =)

there comes many points in a woman's life where she will keep feeling that she's not needed. i think the biggest blow will be when your kids outgrow you especially. They used to need you but now, they've gained independence. one would start to question the value of her life. i can imagine that kind of feeling, not needed and that you are becoming a burden. you start to be afraid of making requests. then you start to shut yourself away. how sad

alot of things is happening around right now. i feel like i lost something. maybe i really did.

when things are good, i think of all the mistakes i made. when things are bad, i feel like making mistake again. grrr.....

human beings are very delusional at times. We give people options, but clearly one of the option is the better one. So why do people still put in the obviously worst off option, cos like every primary school kid will tell you, it has to be a fair test. We put in the worst off option to make it fair, to be fair to tell the person that there is another way out but time and tests have shown me that, you deep down know that people will choose the better option.

i think humans are made selfish. and come out with reasons to justfiy their own selfishness. been there, done that. only people who still believe in happily ever after believes in fairness and believes that men and women can be equal. in this asian culture we are in, no matter how much women claims to be equal, somethings cannot be equal. for a change, let's do proposal tgt. guys propose with a ring, and maybe ladies propose with a car? a camera? i dunno what the guys like. i'm not saying that there are no woman who initiates a proposal, there are! i saw on tv summore. just that to be fair, then both do it.

i wonder what will happen if someone actually choose the worst off option, what will humans
mind or thinking be like after that?

some happy and not so happy thoughts about the day:

1. had a good time at the hsbc women's golf championship. it's my second day there as early as 8 in the morning. morning sun almost killed me. what didn't kill me got me really dark. came home and straight away put mask. cannot take it mans.

2. i never spend enough time with the boy, that for one but also for missing this morning's service. and importantly MasterLife as well. It would have been a good time of fellowshipping with the rest of the people. oh well, work doesn't occur every Sunday so yups, just have to bear with it a little.

3. Had a nice home cooked dinner.

=) =)

Give me more strength for the week ahead.

i came home to realise the skin on my thumb is bleeding. I dislike the feeling of coming home to find out i injured myself without realising. such things always happen and i don't like it.

quick to listen and slow to pass judgement, is something i'm working towards. another aspect is to stop expecting. this bubble is getting bigger and bigger and inside this bubble is actually nothing. all the hype for nothing. =/ i gotta stop thinking about it.

complacent makes you fat!

I want that Kate Spade bag badly!!!! =(

i had the loveliest time spent with the girls and xm and evelyn. better add their name in case they are reading this. haha!

i love traditions. especially when it's kept year after year. It brings people tgt.. it gives people excuse to come tgt. all in all, i love creating traditions and keeping them year after year. so steamboat, ah ma's ngoh hiong and quality time spent snacking on cny cookies is one tradition i wanna keep for as long as i m around. =)

it's been a long time since i blogged. again. it's a little hard to keep up with blogging lately, is it cos i am getting older? this is something i don't want to think about. I've reached that age when I don't want to grow up so fast. Unlike when i was in my TEENS, i can't wait to grow up but now.. WOAH... slow down mans!

It's a really good cny i had this year, slightly more visitings and more interactions with my relatives. I had fun. I'm still going to hold my annual steamboat party this year as well. Life's been great, everything is good right now. =)

Feb is going to be a fast and short month. I'm aiming towards making everyday count. March got OCBC cycle which i m going to take part, I think, if i'm registered.

i wish i have photos to show about my life.... i'm taking lesser photos as i grow older. =(

seriously cannot have any expectations from you mans.... bitter... sour.... salty... wadever it is.. just NOT SWEET!!! grrrr