let's have some non food related posts. slightly downcasted by my failure to cook decent prawn paste chicken on sunday but i will improve. the boy said that i m far far far from being a chef. and he's not the least bit kind in his words. hmph.

had a pretty nice day today. he finally went to finish up with his applications and all, now just have to wait for applications to be approved.

i just woke up 2 hours earlier than normal.. and i m so darn tired the whole day.... =/

i m already counting down to end of may... while the guys are counting down to ord.

finding the last person who love me enough to buy me a book!

On a saturday night... it's home cooked meal yet again.

Starting off with healthy stuff... fruit salad... there's lettuce.... and strawberries as u can see... cherry tomatoes are alwaysa must. and dried cranberries which we put for a change. not too bad.. a sweet and healthy starters!

My home made pasta yet again. and this time i tried out penne with chicken. that's bacon bits u see on top as well. hmmm.. my pasta sauce ar got lots and lots of room for improvement! hope to do better. the next time i post on pasta will definitely be a item that i m satisfied with.

The spread before us! and notice, we are really getting healthies.. Yakult ar.. we also drink Yakult Light.

And of course, not forgetting desserts! my all time favourite meiji yogurt! i love the mixberry in particular!

i'm supposed to be studying right this minute. but somehow, i don't feel the urge to do it. i feel like screaming, i feel like yelling, i feel like running away. i'm not feeling THAT extreme.. but i feel like i got alot in my mind and due to lack of memory space.. i can't seem to recall the things i have to do abt my life right now.

thurs are such tiring days to study. i can't wait for the weekends. i'm not even talking coherrently.

Boo

i have to say this, Breakout was amazing! Excellent... very nice. i love the dance... and pardon my ignorance or stupidity(according to the boy), i realise why is it call breakout only today. Breaking out of jail... and all the while, i thought they call it breakout cos it's related to break dancing.. which it is.. but not the reason why they call it breakout. okok.. silly me. well.. i love it!!! totally made this day so much nicer!!!! vday with the boy has never been this good.

so that's it for my very special v-day. plus dinner at our lao di fang of course... =) definitely a good day and will be remembered down the road. =)

It's burger day! seriously... it's successful and even the monster gave me 9 marks, out of 10. that's mashed potato at the side, on top of lettuce with two tomatoes at the side.


and ta-da! this is my chicken patty!! it's really successful this time. not hard at all. it's even a little juicy!! lalala... i can make burgers!!! ought to improve on the taste... i find it a tad too bland, though monster said it was fine. i'm happy.


sent off my dearest girlfriend today in the morning. hmmm.. what kind of feeling is that.... a little sad, a little longing, a little this and a little that. all mixed together. but i'm still glad i went. and i will miss her.. for these 6 long months to come. somewhere along the road.. i will definitely feel her absence... den i would get emo and flood her with a long email. haha.. i'm v capable of that. well.. all the best my girl! hugssss!

is it wishful thinking on my part to dream of romance and sweetness once again?

It's Japanese Day! we both agree it's a fattening day though.. haha.

our usual sashimi with kikoman soy sauce plus wasabi.

Our new addition, besides the usual rolls and sashimi that we will have. His favourte Salmon Don... i told him, eh? the seaweed like not much taste ar.. den he sae.. that one for decorative purpose! haha... i decorated the borders with the cucumbers! so cute right!

i lazy to put up the pictures of the sushi rolls, look pretty much the same everytime. with eggs and cucumber and all. but this is the best Japanese Day we ever had, with vinegar in the rice.. with wasabi and nice soy sauce. haha... the level of authencity!

i'm looking forward to V-Day... and dreading the end of Chinese New Year

Whether we are growing older or younger as each day passes, whether we are prolonging our life with the latest medical science or trying to look like we did 20 years ago, death is inevitable. however, on our deathbeds, do we have a great story of our lives to share? was it pure dressing up to the nines, dolling ourselves up, buying the most expensive brands, going to the most happening places, plotting how to make the husbands stay or die, in the case of insurance money, is our life worth any bit to share with people?

i've been focusing so much on how to doll myself up, feeling so upset that i can't look better, envious of what so many women had. i forgot slowly and gradually, i'm neglecting what i have on the inside. at our funerals, do we want people to only remember our big diamonds, fancy cars, great skin, white straight teeth, healthy hair? perfect weight, slender hips? or do we wanna hear stuff like she was a great mother. or daddy would have supported me regardless wad happens or she was a woman of her times, a loss to us. does it still matter how we look if we were leading life to our fullest, defined by ourselves. what do we wanna be? happy on the inside or happy on the outside for all to see. it's a choice we make.

recently, i told amelia to look out for signs when u are making decisions. well.. it's to ease her and after all i m a believer of signs. signs are everywhere and everything is something to inspire or to teach us something. Like if we never lose someone we love, how would we had known that they were important? everyday we wake up alive is a blessing. i'm beginning to love Fridays, despite night classes (esp now that chin dun wanna send me home and i have to take cab but it's not important). it's on fridays when i have time to myself, to soak in the solitude of it all, to appreciate, to reflect. when that time stood still for me, i totally forgot i m a city girl. Life itself truly is amazing and i got to do what i want to do. no hesistation, if i don't do now, when then can i do the things.

John Grisham never fail to amaze with the plot and this twist to the story. once again, i'm mesmerised.

my new shopping motto for the year, and this motto exludes books or comics:

Never be in a rush to get anything, always wait for sale maybe, or just wait till i dun feel like getting it anymore.

i've got so many things to do, from not so important things like sending out my warranty cards, to super important things like mugging for my exams and then on to life and death things. haha... last part was an exaggeration but it's life changing things, like getting a job, starting my career as well as taking up more responsiblities at home, starting from handling my own phone bill. it's right on top of the list.

recently, my dad seemed very addicted to wathcing those very very old dramas, those kind act and sing, very very olden days with all the costumes and chinese instruments playing in the background. we're having this channel for free trial till 12 Jan and somehow, daddy seemed very stuck to it. haha.. it's funny la. musical began such a long time ago. there's this scene that got the both of us cracking up, and mind you, i wasn;t wacthing.. but the tv's on right in front of me.

there's this scene.. this servant girl got beaten up darn badly and was about to die... she could still stand up, stagger abit though and SING... for quite some time. cannot stop laughing until she fall down and die. i was half thinking she would stand and sing again lo. hahaa. not being mean here. i just cannot appreciate it. generation gap?

i feel so sick going to school lately. serious feeling darn sian about it.

there are things i don't want to dwell on, cos i'm still trying to sort out my feelings within. i always thought i'm a very extreme person. someone who knows my feelings straight away and act upon them. when i'm happy, i laugh i bounce, when i m angry, i shout and got very irritated with everyone around me. and when i'm hingry and tired, i get grumpy. however, there are still certain issues that came to me and i don't know how to feel. it's the second time in the year already. i need time to sort out. and then i would know how to feel thus, wad to do about it.

a very nice cny gathering indeed. girly session.. tok tok, laugh laugh. though times like this is rare, cos it's quite impossible to gather everyone at times but with one session like this... i can be contented for at least 6 more mths. no more than that! hahaha....

the future seemed uncertain but we have to make the effort in everything we do. if u want something badly, u got to work towards it. cos i believe everyone is within our reach so as long as we give it all. so with the cny holiday coming to an end.. it's serious mugging time. no more vww, no more shows on tudou and of course less storybooks and comics... study study study.

and just to remind myself one day when i read my archives... i love that boy of mine very much at this point of time. uncertainties are bound to exsit along this road.. but i want to remember now and record it down. seriously.. 3 years ain't easy, especially for me. but i'm glad we stick on... let's just have to see where the future and God has to lead us to den.

nights everyone. love all u girlfriends i have out there! muacks...

i always thought i'm a traditional girl. i love the traditions and i follow them but of course i come to realise, i observe the traditions selectively. i don't observe all traditions but only those i like. well.. i'm still a city girl at heart i guess.. a city girl who tries to follow traditions. but this can't be helped. after all, we watched american style movies, read Candace Bushnell's novels. what's then the traditions in the asian way as compared to those of the western country? that's why mum and i are always disagreeing. she's much too traditional, without any movement in her mindset. still stuck in the sixties. seventies i think.

but she's trying to improve.. and i'm trying to accept, it's very difficult, especially with a wide gap of thirty years... there's a limit to how much compromise one can make, be it her or me. but we try.

this cny hasn't been a big hoo ha for me. used to love cny... bu i guess, my feelings for it is totally different now. have i grown older? outgrown it? maybe the time will come when i will get all excited again, and that's when all of us are old, have our own familes and children, where we can visit homes of our friends.. and talking of old stories.. maybe that's a different feeling for cny then.

yes i noe i am fat. =/ dun feel attractive anymore

another nice weekend spent. nothing special.. juts doing last minute shopping, not that i need to spend that much, i'm already very broke by the way. however, temptations are everywhere and it's not helping that there are still sales here and there.

2 chinese movies and both with local actors/actresses, i must say the boy has been very much accomodating in this aspect. he's just so mischeiveous at times that i feel like ignoring him the whole day. cos he can really tick me off.... so irritatinngggg but i can't ccos i'm not an angry person by nature unlike him.. who can flip as and when.. i shouldn't be bitching, oops. but well.. this is us.... back and forth, here and there.

so chinese new year eve. second year that my small fmaily of 3 decided to do it on ourselves. usually, we dine somewhere. like my gm's place. this year, i feel slightly more useful.. cos i am given the most important task of all.. preparing of soup base! very excited about this year's steamboat.. haha.. u girls would know why.

can't wait for this sat! =)

it's been three years.

3 years since we decided to interwine our paths together. 3 years of joy, laughter, fun and of course with arguments, tears and frustration. We had our share of busy times, we had our share of quiet ones. We had our share of working hard and playing till our hearts' content. We definitely have our share of differences and sure, we had a spat everynow and then. We had our share of making up, and boy, were we good at that. We shared the good, we shared the great and we shared a tear or two. and i wouldn't trade any moment that i shared with you.

during which, we learn to endure, to tolerate, to love more, to expect less, to lean and or support each other in times of need. never regretting that moment three years ago when we chose to be a part of each others' life.

with beautiful sapphire studs and a nice meal to come.. and a lovely movie at my request,

Happy 3rd anniversary!

the day is half gone and is already one of the best i ever had since the year started. not as if the year started very long already but well... finally found the strength to go school on a friday morning, lugging my heavy and sleep body there. but i'm glad i stick through the 3 hours plus. cos it makes me feel useful!

and then i went on to catch a movie on my own. my first! yes i know i m slow.. but it feels great can. and i chose the perfect movie to catch alone.. The Women... no male figures in the whole show. mentioned man but no male cast at all! unless u count the last part, where the newborn was a boy. then again, they didn't show the sex of the baby.. so who knows.

but i love my day already. lugging my body back to school for night class. =)

no sapphire studs, no movie watched but it's still a very nice day, memory lane down a decade ago. =)

my fav fish beehoon, my must-have apple-orange juice, topped with two yummylicious tong heng egg tart. and a surprise treat from mum when i got back, another cup of apple orange juice. haha... i marvel at the simplicity of it all, to make this tiring day all better.

on the other hand, i ponder over the complexity of human minds. why are some people, stuck in the mud, yet still think that they are doing fine and that people shouldn't meddle in their affairs or that people who are concerned are mainly pain in the neck. isn't it true to say that outsiders actually see things clearer? outsiders actually see how deep u are stuck in that muddy pile. but if u are to refuse to listen to me, what more can i say?

why aren't human simpler? when we need help, we should ask for it. why do some people choose to suffer in silence?

then again, i guess it's the complexity in us that makes life interesting. if we are to be programmed to behave in a certain pattern then everyone would be the same. however, i just wished u would listen, or rely on me more.

i take silence very badly.

it was still a happy day.

went to ikea yesterday and bought stuff to do a little revamping for the new year. not that much of a revamp, but more of keeping my stuff organised. i was packing my comics and i realised i have alot. alot of them. i packed till i perspired, almost felt like an exercise, going in and out of the room, transferring the comics from my mum's room to my storage box that i bought. now that 3/4 of my comics are in my room, with my storage box having rollers underneath, mummy says i look like i wanna run away from home anytime!

well.. the remaining comics left in my mum's room are those uncompleted set, and mind you, there's till quite alot of it. hahaha... next, i'm going to get a shelf to put my things so i can clear the things on my study table and resume it back as a real study table, preparing for the exams i have in May. also, lots of clothes thrown out of the cupboard, cos i bought alot of new ones in 2008 when i discovered the joy of shopping online.

i feel much better about my room now but i can't help thinking of all the money spent on books and clothes... tsk. oh well, resolution is to cut down for the new year. which appears to be very difficult already.

went parkway today and it's quite fruitful. the boy bought most of what he wanted to buy. i more or less 'completed' my new year shopping. though it's not done with aniticipation. i realised cny is more or less a holiday for me, nothing more. i dun even visit past 3 houses. how fun should cny be for me anyway. end up being really bored only, being an only child and all as well.

i'm motivated to slim down further!! for my cny clothes!

Loving someone is a very intriguing thing. It can be complicated and frustrating at times yet it can bring you joy from the simplest thing.

We never stop learning how to love a person or about the person himself. when you thought you have that person all figured out, he totally surprised you by something he does or says. and that's when we learn all the new possibilities of loving a person again. if someone were to tell me, i know my partner inside out and i can figure out what he's thinking, i would say, think again. maybe u need to rework on the sparks between the two of you because what makes loving someone an enjoying process, plus the complications, is that you never stop learning. when you think you've totally figured the person out, it's most likely you're getting bored with the person and nothing you see fascinates you anymore.

some people crave for the opportunity to have someone to love or to be loved. i guess it's something that most of us want, with exceptions of course. but most of us want to be in love. it's hard to explain what being in love is like, cos every love is different in its own way. with every detailed feelings, it differs one love from the other. people think this couple may be all so sweet and lovey, but do you know what they go through or what they feel exactly? yes, there's the sweetness, there's the part that no matter what happens, we still have someone to lean back on. there's the part that we will never be bored on friday nights and weekends ever, there's the part that someone loves and is concerned about us in a way it makes us smeil all the way to our heart. there's also always elements of surprise here and there.

but is that someone going to love us no matter what happens? wad if we become ugly, fat or what if we are selfish or guillible and stupid? who gaurantees that the love will still be there. this is where the exceptions come in. they choose to be individualist who feel that life alone is better. no worries, no control, no tears, can be selfish all they want cos they don't have to be accountable to anyone. of course they got no choice abt their parents. so they choose not to complicate their lives by having to add someone in to love.

i won't say what's right what's wrong but every part of ur life should be a process that u fall, learn and get smarter and better. we shouldn't try to avoid a road that's right in fron of us, by going to find short cuts somewhere further and of course when we choose to walk this road in front of us, we should do it bravely. be open-minded cos when it comes to loving someone, anything and everything can happen. so what if u get hurt, isn't it only part of the process? rejection doesn't make u less worthy, who u are and how you portray urself makes up who u are. you are who you are.

i'm talking in circles already. but my point is, i keep learning new things when i love that person i love now. i can get so upset and irritated, yet as irritated as i am, why am i still smiling. i am a true believer that no one can be indispensible, but everyone should cherish who they already have in their lives. you can live without a person but u shouldn't stop caring who u already have. sometimes, just once in a while, take a step back and see how u should take the extra effort to make someone happy.

so i'll never regret choosing to love, despite all the unhappiness and frustrations it come with. everyone should experience that. but what happens in the future will be how you deal with the present.

on a lovely yet lazy saturday night.... ( i know my camera sux)

my attempt @ western food. that's chicken patty, done out of mince meat with black pepper sauce. tt's premium smoked ham at the side, broccoli (to fulfill my new year resolution of greens in every meal) and my very own mashed potato with bacon bits! the chicken was a tad hard though.. but nonetheless, i love my mashed potato!

and of course accompanied by some fruit wine. wine is a thing i don't go without lately, with my home cooked meal, be it chinese food or western food. another new year resolution, drink more wine!

if only there were desserts. we missed it out. hmmmm. =)

this is my last post before the year ends, everything has ended on a pretty good note for me. give and take. give and u will receive. i'm determined not to let anything get me down t spoil the end of my 2008.

may 2009 brings me happiness, bliss and joy! may all my resolutions be completed too!

though i am home counting down due to the boy having duty tmr, i'm contented. really.

Happy new year!!!