Whether we are growing older or younger as each day passes, whether we are prolonging our life with the latest medical science or trying to look like we did 20 years ago, death is inevitable. however, on our deathbeds, do we have a great story of our lives to share? was it pure dressing up to the nines, dolling ourselves up, buying the most expensive brands, going to the most happening places, plotting how to make the husbands stay or die, in the case of insurance money, is our life worth any bit to share with people?

i've been focusing so much on how to doll myself up, feeling so upset that i can't look better, envious of what so many women had. i forgot slowly and gradually, i'm neglecting what i have on the inside. at our funerals, do we want people to only remember our big diamonds, fancy cars, great skin, white straight teeth, healthy hair? perfect weight, slender hips? or do we wanna hear stuff like she was a great mother. or daddy would have supported me regardless wad happens or she was a woman of her times, a loss to us. does it still matter how we look if we were leading life to our fullest, defined by ourselves. what do we wanna be? happy on the inside or happy on the outside for all to see. it's a choice we make.

recently, i told amelia to look out for signs when u are making decisions. well.. it's to ease her and after all i m a believer of signs. signs are everywhere and everything is something to inspire or to teach us something. Like if we never lose someone we love, how would we had known that they were important? everyday we wake up alive is a blessing. i'm beginning to love Fridays, despite night classes (esp now that chin dun wanna send me home and i have to take cab but it's not important). it's on fridays when i have time to myself, to soak in the solitude of it all, to appreciate, to reflect. when that time stood still for me, i totally forgot i m a city girl. Life itself truly is amazing and i got to do what i want to do. no hesistation, if i don't do now, when then can i do the things.