i conclude. no one in this world can lead a double life, can have two partners at the same time. not even the smartest, craftiest person who can lie through their teeth. it is simply too tiring. to keep up to the lies. to run around sneaking in the dark. it could be thrilling at first, but to keep up with it along the course of month, don't even talk about years, i think it is too tiring and painful.

happiness is being open, clear conscience and leading a meaningful life. not a two faced life.