seriously.... it's not as easy as time goes by. i always thought being in a r/s is only about 2 parties, den gradually, i learnt that it is not but does it have to be this bad? why am i so trapped in between? i wanan be neutral.. yet i wanna have a stand?

i think everything can be solved once i get a job? i really hope so? i feel so sad now.... this is my life? gosh..... i totally lost it.