i miss you

i forgot how painful cramps can be. i almost forgot all the aching symptoms that i have before it comes... and it all came back today. i always dream of having a hot water bottle to hug.... forgot how much i need it in the past, and the painful aching feelings all came back today.... nonetheless... my lovelies gave me a wonderful time today. i forgot abt the pain halfway through, and the pain actually left for a while.. but now at night.. in the middle of england v germany match, the pain is back.

board games are so fun... i feel like going back on ladies night.. which is a tues.. not this tues... hmmmm.... some arranging needs to be done. i still think the question about who u wanna get to do a shady business.. how could anyone have thought of me. i'm not tt dark... and meticulous... haha!

i love u girls and my boy... always will.. who else can tolerate me anyway.....

i'm so digging the new dcp world cup tee shirts... but 50 bucks for a tee shirt?? hmmmm.. and a working class girl doesn't have much opportunity to wear one anyway.. but it's sooo cute!

and yes ghana!! you're in!

more than half of the top 16 is out. halfway there.... for me too. i'm a very happy girl recently... at least i know i got nothing to be unhappy about. somehow... something still seem to be missing... oh well.... soccer has made my nights happier... hang in there first and see where i will land.

i think i made my daddy the happiest this entire month. everytime he comes home, the soccer channel is on. every single time.. unlike the past.. he had to fight the tv for it, and since there are 2 women in the house, he obviously don't get his way all the time. except saturday.. the ladies of the house decided to give him one night.. and that's sat. so this whole entire month, he's going to be a happy man.. coming home to soccer everyday.. i know my boy is not like that.. i wonder does he want to come home to cartoon everyday instead. hhahahaa!

so the next match.. ghana and australia... go ghana!

alot of people start to put distance between themselves and other people, be it in a drift away style or interact very little with people is usually cause they are afraid. they are afraid people will see through them. they have things to hide. maybe not in the bad way.. more of maybe they are feeling moody, emotional.. or simply in a i don't give a shit to this world kind of mood so they don't want to be near people, to pretend to enjoy company. they rather be by themselves. and the other kind is they have a true self tt maybe only really close people know. or maybe only they themselves know and no one else know and they are afraid that people outside will find out this secret self... and judge. thus, they rather not interact.

for instance.. a person can start drifting away from a group... and hang out less outside.. keep going home after work/school. u think tt person is in a emotional, moody period.. but it might not be. when people drift away from social group, maybe cause they done something that they are not proud of, they are upset... and they know people will judge.

so why oh why do people judge... that's like a whole separate issue really.

i need a retreat.

the long wait is finally over! i'm very very excited... the world cup is starting in less than 3 hours time. wooots. =) it's going to be a month of sleepless nights but roaring excitement. maybe alot of people might not understand why i'm so excited about it.... even my own boy don't. hahaa... i'm never a girl who likes soccer. what league what league.. i never ever watch.. but i just like world cup.. ask me who i support ar... not any country in particular.. just like to support it match by match.. make some predictions... overall champion.. hmmm.. maybe brazil... any country but SPAIN. haha.. oops.. i got something against them. i wonder why.

i just bought a new laptop.. rubee!! i'm really happy. finally.. the antique can be used for only office purpose. i don't have to carry laptop to and fro. no more heels and heavy load in arms. and if u guys know, i'm a sucker for high heels.. like quite high heels.. cos i think those are the only ones that are pretty.. and so my poor feet suffers with me. ahahaa.

back to world cup.. first match.. host country vs mexico.... i'm thinking it might be a draw.... mabe host can surprise me? i need more people to watch with me.. spread the joy. hahaa...

i'll be back

hello world.... i'm back. am i long forgotten? replaced? in anyway... i'm back. =)

it's been a very meaningful journey for myself in the last 6 months. a journey that i intend to continue walking. somewhere that i see myself walking to without seeing any end to it. yet. haha.... whatever it is, it's good to be back. i should start keeping track of my thoughts, share my beliefs, my nonsense again. i do miss bloggging quite abit where i can rattle and rattle.

i hope people still come here to check on me every once in a while....

how much a friendship means to us largely depends on the memories we created with that person. how much this friend means to us depends on all the things we went through together, be it the happy ones or the sad ones.

a friend holding u and telling you everything is ok when you are crying your eyes out. or a friend who skipped classes with you and go spend the afternoon slacking or playing somewhere. all these are memories that will follow us through the years and even when now you lost contact with that particular friend, you will think back of the good times you had tgt and also all the memories you created with that person, big or small ones, you would be prompted to automatically go pick up the phone and call him/her. or maybe drop a message. we do this little actions cos we remembered. all the memories we share with that person, and how much this friendship had meant in the past.. or means to us right now.

A gift of love

the phrase let time tell it all is so appropriate to use at this point of time. time has told me what i knew right from the start. what i chose not to fully believe in but time has told me what i need to know. time has proven things right. things are slowly changing and i m aware. i'm sure no one is that insensitive to be unaware. why prolong it, i wonder. maybe it's better to let time sink in further den abruptly calling it off. i'm dreading things.

a very long month ahead of me.

i'm really upset!! frustrated.. and how many times over the past few years i kept feeling like this... why am i being punished!!!!!

yes, it's been quite some time since i last blogged and i promised i will blog before the month of january end. so tonight's my deadline.

it's been one whole roller coaster ride month for me. alot of new things learnt, alot of harsh lessons included. different kind of people you meet and different kind of experiences. but i have to say, i'm still learning, moulding and shaping myself. things hasn't been all rosy but it won;t get me down, cos i know i haven;t gave it my best shot.

for those who know me well enough.. am sure i have been going around bragging abt myself signing up a marathon! 21km!! woots for me! oh.. my dear xcyflawz.... we are going to have a cny eve reunion like we always do right.. lunch time?? 13th lunch??? pls tell me who cannot make it sooon....

i love new year. it gives me a feel that whatever i screwed up or failed to do, i can always make it right again. so i will tell myself, like how i tell myself every other year, this year is going to be a goood year for me. and i'm going to complete all my new year resolutions and get all that i want! give me some credit here yea. i m trying to be optimisitic for the new year and i need all the enthusiasm or optimism to carry me through 2010.

another reason why i love new year is also cos it gives me the excuse to change all my old stuff to new ones. and i will use the new year to pack abit.... revamp abit... all to make me feel happier abt my so called new beginning.. now now now.. all i lack of is a new calendar... be it those stick on the wall.. or flip kind.. I NEED A NEW CALENDAR. someone.. pls? ahhaaaa

when i think of ur absence this weekend, i can't help but feel sad. but then on the other hand, when i think of how much time we can spend tgt in our life time, this seem very trivial.

i can't help feeling a little down though. miss u terribly.

seriously, guys don't have to go to great lengths to be sweet to a girl. somehow, i find all the small nitty gritty details ten times sweeter... simple things like after going out with a girl, most people think it's sweet if he sends u all the way home.. i think it's sweet if he calls a cab for u.. or flag a cab for u also and like send u safely into the cab and end the night by saying, give me a call or sms when u reach home safely... i think tt's equally sweet as well and i totally dig it. hahaa..

also there are many circumstances that are sweet... it's not about going out of his way to do things for u... but also about not doing certain stuff because he had u in mind. it's as simple as being a single carefree person, he doesn't have to care about anything other than himself.. but with you in mind, he decided not to go out with his friends so often, not drinking so often, not smoking so often. it's stuff like that. it's abt changing ur daily routine. about some stuff tt u always do but because u have someone in mind, whether he/she will mind, maybe i shouldn't do it. i think by thinking that way and by not doing ur usual stuff cos of someone, tt's sweet. really sweet. the having someone in my mind and acting based on that. i think tt's uber sweet.

soak me with some sweetness and love, though i need to have some time alone.. but tt doesn't mean i dun want all these after i'm out of these....

there could be 1000000 stuff out there but there's only one me.

this is totally not the best time to be out there partying and enjoying. i wanna stay home and isolate....

freaking random-ness tt i m suffering from. blues... siansation.

i m finally understanding the meaning of all these. i'm trying to escape.... esp from that someone who cannot seem to stop nagging, even at this moment, right beside me. i shouldn't flare up i keep telling myself but alot of things do no make sense. i dunno wad is wrong, i only know i wanna run somewhere far away, away from all these....

with the taste of magarita still lingering in my mouth, here is my blessed and blissful christmas.





and a comparison of iphone picture quality and my sucky sucky phone quality.... why didn't someone tell me earlier magarita can be so sweet and nice... whee.... going off for more boooze or milo. hahaa

it's christmas eve. i skipped brunch with the rest and chose to spend the day resting and nua-ing at home. the weather is awesome, so good that i wished i can stay home the whole entire christmas eve, counting stars (if there is in sngapore), cuddling, watching tv, sipping tea, exchange gifts, unwrapping them... ahahaa.. this is a wish from the homey side of me... but i have another side of me. and that is the go out, have fun, party, dress-up, drink and party summore. but of course, after the partying part, i will still wanna go home cuddle and count stars to sleep. hahaa...

i always want the best of both world. and the harsh reality always comes back to me to tell me that i can't. yes, i'm nothing but a spoilt brat yea? i need to use this mini break to think through, to prepare myself for the challenges up ahead. i'm excited yet scared. i set these high expectations of myself and now i'm afraid i can't meet them. wha't expectations, what's right and what's wrong.

i need this break... and i need some christmas love!! gifts and cards.....

Happy 100th monthsary nu peng you.... can u believe it... we met and got acquainted and got closer and ta da.. it's 100 mths!! ahahaaa... the sweetest friendship one can ever have... let's look forward to the many many more mths to come.. loves loves loves.