i always thought i'm a traditional girl. i love the traditions and i follow them but of course i come to realise, i observe the traditions selectively. i don't observe all traditions but only those i like. well.. i'm still a city girl at heart i guess.. a city girl who tries to follow traditions. but this can't be helped. after all, we watched american style movies, read Candace Bushnell's novels. what's then the traditions in the asian way as compared to those of the western country? that's why mum and i are always disagreeing. she's much too traditional, without any movement in her mindset. still stuck in the sixties. seventies i think.

but she's trying to improve.. and i'm trying to accept, it's very difficult, especially with a wide gap of thirty years... there's a limit to how much compromise one can make, be it her or me. but we try.

this cny hasn't been a big hoo ha for me. used to love cny... bu i guess, my feelings for it is totally different now. have i grown older? outgrown it? maybe the time will come when i will get all excited again, and that's when all of us are old, have our own familes and children, where we can visit homes of our friends.. and talking of old stories.. maybe that's a different feeling for cny then.

yes i noe i am fat. =/ dun feel attractive anymore

another nice weekend spent. nothing special.. juts doing last minute shopping, not that i need to spend that much, i'm already very broke by the way. however, temptations are everywhere and it's not helping that there are still sales here and there.

2 chinese movies and both with local actors/actresses, i must say the boy has been very much accomodating in this aspect. he's just so mischeiveous at times that i feel like ignoring him the whole day. cos he can really tick me off.... so irritatinngggg but i can't ccos i'm not an angry person by nature unlike him.. who can flip as and when.. i shouldn't be bitching, oops. but well.. this is us.... back and forth, here and there.

so chinese new year eve. second year that my small fmaily of 3 decided to do it on ourselves. usually, we dine somewhere. like my gm's place. this year, i feel slightly more useful.. cos i am given the most important task of all.. preparing of soup base! very excited about this year's steamboat.. haha.. u girls would know why.

can't wait for this sat! =)

it's been three years.

3 years since we decided to interwine our paths together. 3 years of joy, laughter, fun and of course with arguments, tears and frustration. We had our share of busy times, we had our share of quiet ones. We had our share of working hard and playing till our hearts' content. We definitely have our share of differences and sure, we had a spat everynow and then. We had our share of making up, and boy, were we good at that. We shared the good, we shared the great and we shared a tear or two. and i wouldn't trade any moment that i shared with you.

during which, we learn to endure, to tolerate, to love more, to expect less, to lean and or support each other in times of need. never regretting that moment three years ago when we chose to be a part of each others' life.

with beautiful sapphire studs and a nice meal to come.. and a lovely movie at my request,

Happy 3rd anniversary!

the day is half gone and is already one of the best i ever had since the year started. not as if the year started very long already but well... finally found the strength to go school on a friday morning, lugging my heavy and sleep body there. but i'm glad i stick through the 3 hours plus. cos it makes me feel useful!

and then i went on to catch a movie on my own. my first! yes i know i m slow.. but it feels great can. and i chose the perfect movie to catch alone.. The Women... no male figures in the whole show. mentioned man but no male cast at all! unless u count the last part, where the newborn was a boy. then again, they didn't show the sex of the baby.. so who knows.

but i love my day already. lugging my body back to school for night class. =)

no sapphire studs, no movie watched but it's still a very nice day, memory lane down a decade ago. =)

my fav fish beehoon, my must-have apple-orange juice, topped with two yummylicious tong heng egg tart. and a surprise treat from mum when i got back, another cup of apple orange juice. haha... i marvel at the simplicity of it all, to make this tiring day all better.

on the other hand, i ponder over the complexity of human minds. why are some people, stuck in the mud, yet still think that they are doing fine and that people shouldn't meddle in their affairs or that people who are concerned are mainly pain in the neck. isn't it true to say that outsiders actually see things clearer? outsiders actually see how deep u are stuck in that muddy pile. but if u are to refuse to listen to me, what more can i say?

why aren't human simpler? when we need help, we should ask for it. why do some people choose to suffer in silence?

then again, i guess it's the complexity in us that makes life interesting. if we are to be programmed to behave in a certain pattern then everyone would be the same. however, i just wished u would listen, or rely on me more.

i take silence very badly.

it was still a happy day.

went to ikea yesterday and bought stuff to do a little revamping for the new year. not that much of a revamp, but more of keeping my stuff organised. i was packing my comics and i realised i have alot. alot of them. i packed till i perspired, almost felt like an exercise, going in and out of the room, transferring the comics from my mum's room to my storage box that i bought. now that 3/4 of my comics are in my room, with my storage box having rollers underneath, mummy says i look like i wanna run away from home anytime!

well.. the remaining comics left in my mum's room are those uncompleted set, and mind you, there's till quite alot of it. hahaha... next, i'm going to get a shelf to put my things so i can clear the things on my study table and resume it back as a real study table, preparing for the exams i have in May. also, lots of clothes thrown out of the cupboard, cos i bought alot of new ones in 2008 when i discovered the joy of shopping online.

i feel much better about my room now but i can't help thinking of all the money spent on books and clothes... tsk. oh well, resolution is to cut down for the new year. which appears to be very difficult already.

went parkway today and it's quite fruitful. the boy bought most of what he wanted to buy. i more or less 'completed' my new year shopping. though it's not done with aniticipation. i realised cny is more or less a holiday for me, nothing more. i dun even visit past 3 houses. how fun should cny be for me anyway. end up being really bored only, being an only child and all as well.

i'm motivated to slim down further!! for my cny clothes!

Loving someone is a very intriguing thing. It can be complicated and frustrating at times yet it can bring you joy from the simplest thing.

We never stop learning how to love a person or about the person himself. when you thought you have that person all figured out, he totally surprised you by something he does or says. and that's when we learn all the new possibilities of loving a person again. if someone were to tell me, i know my partner inside out and i can figure out what he's thinking, i would say, think again. maybe u need to rework on the sparks between the two of you because what makes loving someone an enjoying process, plus the complications, is that you never stop learning. when you think you've totally figured the person out, it's most likely you're getting bored with the person and nothing you see fascinates you anymore.

some people crave for the opportunity to have someone to love or to be loved. i guess it's something that most of us want, with exceptions of course. but most of us want to be in love. it's hard to explain what being in love is like, cos every love is different in its own way. with every detailed feelings, it differs one love from the other. people think this couple may be all so sweet and lovey, but do you know what they go through or what they feel exactly? yes, there's the sweetness, there's the part that no matter what happens, we still have someone to lean back on. there's the part that we will never be bored on friday nights and weekends ever, there's the part that someone loves and is concerned about us in a way it makes us smeil all the way to our heart. there's also always elements of surprise here and there.

but is that someone going to love us no matter what happens? wad if we become ugly, fat or what if we are selfish or guillible and stupid? who gaurantees that the love will still be there. this is where the exceptions come in. they choose to be individualist who feel that life alone is better. no worries, no control, no tears, can be selfish all they want cos they don't have to be accountable to anyone. of course they got no choice abt their parents. so they choose not to complicate their lives by having to add someone in to love.

i won't say what's right what's wrong but every part of ur life should be a process that u fall, learn and get smarter and better. we shouldn't try to avoid a road that's right in fron of us, by going to find short cuts somewhere further and of course when we choose to walk this road in front of us, we should do it bravely. be open-minded cos when it comes to loving someone, anything and everything can happen. so what if u get hurt, isn't it only part of the process? rejection doesn't make u less worthy, who u are and how you portray urself makes up who u are. you are who you are.

i'm talking in circles already. but my point is, i keep learning new things when i love that person i love now. i can get so upset and irritated, yet as irritated as i am, why am i still smiling. i am a true believer that no one can be indispensible, but everyone should cherish who they already have in their lives. you can live without a person but u shouldn't stop caring who u already have. sometimes, just once in a while, take a step back and see how u should take the extra effort to make someone happy.

so i'll never regret choosing to love, despite all the unhappiness and frustrations it come with. everyone should experience that. but what happens in the future will be how you deal with the present.

on a lovely yet lazy saturday night.... ( i know my camera sux)

my attempt @ western food. that's chicken patty, done out of mince meat with black pepper sauce. tt's premium smoked ham at the side, broccoli (to fulfill my new year resolution of greens in every meal) and my very own mashed potato with bacon bits! the chicken was a tad hard though.. but nonetheless, i love my mashed potato!

and of course accompanied by some fruit wine. wine is a thing i don't go without lately, with my home cooked meal, be it chinese food or western food. another new year resolution, drink more wine!

if only there were desserts. we missed it out. hmmmm. =)

this is my last post before the year ends, everything has ended on a pretty good note for me. give and take. give and u will receive. i'm determined not to let anything get me down t spoil the end of my 2008.

may 2009 brings me happiness, bliss and joy! may all my resolutions be completed too!

though i am home counting down due to the boy having duty tmr, i'm contented. really.

Happy new year!!!

Carlsberg, it doesn't get any better.

i'm totally into twilight after i watched the movie. i m hooked. so getting dvds, waiting for the next sequel to it, plus reading the books. i m hooked. even more so when i realised how the author came about writing the book, it's inspiring. yea, have i mention.. i am hooked.

one of my interest, or hobby is to collect different types of monopoly. the first monopoly i had, the very original with Mayfair as the most expensive property and Old Kent Road as the cheapest property, is given to me as a gift by my mum many many x'mas over. that was when my mum still bother to give me x'mas gifts and without thinking, i asked for monopoly. but with this first monopoly, it's always my mum and i playing it and sometimes, i have to beg her to play with me, cos she would be very tired after work and i recalled, most of the time she won. once, in record time less than 15 mins. when i was young, i would be sulky that she won and when i must declare bankrupt, i just keep saying i owe her i owe her just so that the night continues and tt we can play longer and maybe cause i kept thinking i will win it back.

so yea, my first monopoly. then somewhere maybe 1 or 2 xmases later, i saw they have monopoly in the singapore edition. naturally, i asked for tt as my next xmas gift. i love that too.. feels happy tt my collection is increasing and all. i would choose different versions alternately to play with my mum. i remember in order to make it difficult for two players, cos those who play would know it's pretty easy for 2 players to win, lesser competition you see, i came up with all sort of rules. now, come to think of it, i cannot remember if i m the one who came up with it or i was taught those rules.

you see, i used to go to my cousin's place every sunday and cos this playmate was so precious to me, we try to play all sorts of games, from dig dug, pacman to singing competition where the results were always the same, hopscotch in the kitchen, but so monopoly is a game we can play once in a while, so i remember when i play monopoly then, there were rules such as first round no buying of property, nothing, u can only walk around the board the first time. or when u throw double and reach a space, u cannot do anything but throw again and things like, money as fines or taxes all go the free parking and the one who reach there takes it all, can build houses even when u dun have complete set and even when u have complete set, build one shot at one of the property.

now, as a monopoly fan grown old. let me correct it. no such thing as first round, can just buy. and when throw double, move to the space, can do wadever the space allows u to do then throw again and ar, houses must be built equally, if start with one, all the properties of tt colour must have one. in other words, build evenly.

so naturally, when my cousin's house has play station with monopoly disc, i was fascinated, love it. but i think she got bored of it.. and we ve to play other games instead. but my love never die there. when i first realise monopoly went beyong monopoly, and there are concept games such as choco-poly or animal-poly. though not the original Parker Brothers, it caught my attention and on my 20th Birthday, i got chocopoly AND photo-poly, which sorry girls, haven't got to do it yet.

just an intro, photopoly needs u to fill in the pictures, like a DIY thingy.

so now, with my latest edition, the BibleOpoly. i'm really a fan ain't i? i can memerise all the rent, price, rent with one house, 2, 3, 4 even with a hotel. i know exactly where the token moves just by thorwing dice. i played that often you see. but monopoly always reminds me how lonely i was as a child. i remember when i was bored on a Saturday afternoon, when my mum is at work, i would play by myself... acting as 2 players, moving and deciding for both. if not, i would call my cousin, and ask her to choose token.. throw dice for her.. ask her decide and all.... this is the "perk" of being only child. when people tell me only child is good, i just think to myself, if only u went through it urself.

now as i grow older and monopoly became a collecting thing, feels slightly better. some people might not understand why i like it so much, but it means something to me. being part of my childhood and all. monopoly now also come up with more and more different variations.. one day, i might be a collector of all, even limited edition, if i have the money. but yea... it's a part of my childhood.

a simple home cooked meal but it's a delicacy and time well spent already. emperor chicken, stir fry brocoli and a mug of root beer. =) i'm that easily contented at times.

had a lovely xmas gift today. BibleOpoly... very nice.. very funnily fun! had a good time.



only, i lost to the boy.... his little church at Jerusalem. his winning point!

i have been regularly blogging in the blog for amelia that i neglected my own blog. she went India and i promised her i will update her daily about my life. don't envy her, we have a long history since way back in primary school. i remember during those times if i go holiday, we will each keep a exericse book and write down out tots daily, things we wanna tell each other, in case we forget, den when i come back, we will exchange the exercise book. wonder where are all those exercise book. will love to find them back to read mans.

so ya, sorry people, i know there are people who keeps coming to check if there's a new entry so hey there.. this is a new entry. remember dun give up on my blog. it will never close down or be abandoned. i'm simply a person who has too much tots and i have to "pen" them down. have been busy busking in the festive season. shopping, gift wrapping. i currently already got like 7 presents to be wrapped. but mainly is wrap for other pple. not my own gifts. long story why i have to help chin do her wrapping. oops, did i mention chin? well...

anyway, life's really great at this moment. everything seemed so nice and happy, esp with xmas coming. i hope i can keep the happy feeling there.. the last few months have been quite a nightmare, i personally feel. and i have no wish for history to repeat itself. it's time i learn how to keep the happiness and let go of the unhappiness.

everyone has been very nice to me lately too... issit the festive season getting into everyone or issit they are like tt all the while, and only now i learn how to appreciate and see? well... since i m in such good moood. can ask me out. i'm good company when i'm like tt. =)

when you get really really angry with your loved ones, there's always a remedy that you can use to make your boiling point go all the way down.

just ask yourself, can u bear the tot of that person not in your life anymore. if not, bear with this cos ur love for that person is way too much to stay angry and let bitterness eat into you.

i've put up a xmas wishlist over on the left... any kind soul with a good heart and in a mood of sharing, consider any of the following?

pretty please look at it?

and i'm totally in love with leehwa's Joy&Luv bracelet from Destinee. i m crazy about it...

I used to detest xmas. the heartache, the lies, the pretense, the nights spent crying and the festive lights mocking at me. but ever since i got the bear from u that xmas n years ago, i begin to feel festive lights can be quite pretty at times too.

now, i look forward to xmas. i like the warm feeling, the feasting mood, the sharing season, the buying of gifts and seeing happy faces all around. have i changed? no.... i'm still the less than optimistic me but i have you. making u happy is all that matters, especially on such a festive season.

i love to believe there's santa, carrying boxes of gifts. i like having presents under the tree, it makes the tree pretty. of course we can't place cash or vouchers under the tree. sorry, i m idealistic. but since i used to detest xmas.. now can't i paint a beautiful picture of it and dream about my lovely christmas?

dear friends and family, join me in the festive mood. dun attempt to ruin it for me.... when i get mad... i get mad.

What i want for Christmas:

1. Chinese soup recipe book
2. Measuring spoons for cooking purpose
3. Wine glasses (Red wine)

When we are born, our parents had just gave us the first great gift, and that us our life. They had a choice, whether to want us or not. Our mums had a choice too, whether she wanted to hold us in her womb for 9 months and go through labour pains to bring us to earth. To me, that is the first great gift that our parents gave us.

The second great gift our parents give us is our name. When they decided to give us life, they also decided they want to love us and give us all the best things in the world. And that's why they gave us the best name that they can think of, nothing but the best. It may not be perfect, but when they put that name down on our birth certificate, they really think it's the best. The second great gift they gave us.

Throughout our life since birth, our parents keep giving us what they think it's the best, be it gifts, their teachings, their love, care and concern. If i were to count every single gift they gave us, i would have lost count a long time ago. So when they try to perfect our lives since young, can we blame them if they start worrying or getting over protective when they notice that we are not walking that perfect road they plan for us? Their love for us is so strong that it overcomes everything else. Like forgetting they are getting nagggy, or forgetting the real objective of their love. They might try to force us on some issues because they know they have the authority to.

But everything they do, is because they love us so much. They were the ones who gave us the first two greatest things in our lives, of course they want to keep things perfect.

One more great gift that our parents could give us are siblings. Which i never geto to enjoy this gift myself. I feel it's a regret in my life. though it's a regret that i got no control over. but it's definitely a regret i myself have no wish to repeat. so i would definitely have more than one kid in the future.

i keep having lotsa thoughts running in my head, waiting for a chance to write them down and share with people. this parents thing is just one of it.

there are two things i wanan do before 2008 ends:

1. Go the the beach
2. Go Singapore coin museum