"to like someone is a thing. to be with someone is another thing. it's not the same"

"i think liking someone is something great. it is something magical"

"i just do it cos there's so much emotions in me that i got to release it"

Firstly, these would be something someone irresponsible, impractical and impossible to sae. because firstly, why wouldn't u want to be with someone u love? and secondly... this is reality. not some fairytale story. loving someone is magical... but we are in reality.. we tok about responsibilities and there's other people involved too. that's something i definitely learnt. to be with someone, to love someone... is not abt just two person. it involves so many other people as well. it involes responsibility and there's always a need to account to other people. how other people feel.. wad other wants.

of course.. the perfect r/s is not to care and go ahead.. but tt's not practical.. tt's almost impossible. and lastly... to do something just cos u feel like doing.. tt's.... =/ lots emotions in me.... fidning a way to let out only.

thursday are always a drag to me since week one. it's week 5 of school and thursdays are still a drag to me. but guess wad people out there... when i opened my blog and saw 10 tags.. i definteily felt so much better. really!!! so i m given recognition to amelia... angel and joel. shall i knight u guys? ahahah... here's one to LADY AMELIA... one to LADY ANGEL and last one to SIR JOEL. what will i do without u regular taggers.. my thursdays will kll me.

ahahah.. enough of recognition. here's something to u amelia.. i should be toking to u more online.. cos we haven't met up since forever... however.. quite busy with stuff. i dun tok much to people on msn.. unless it's WEE WEE hours.... really wee into the night.. den i can spare some time.. really. so i m sorry for all the times tt u had to initiate the conversations. please do keep it htere and strong.. i need it... and i will reciprocate. tell u wad.. when next month come.. i will cook a meal of home cooked food for u, k. dun think u tried my chinese food before right? next month.. will book u. =)

next week's going to be the last week of school before elearning and before the CA week. ahahha.. a tiny break and after tt.. it's projects and studying all the way. i can't wait to graduate but yet.. am scared of wad i m gg to venture out to do. haik.. life has always been a breeze.. tt i ffeel tt i m finally stepping out on my own. =/ BRACE UP, leona!!! no negative feelings

"et tu brute, then fall caesar!"

this is the only thing i remembered since sec 4. ahaha.. to think we almost memorise the whole book, all the quotes and all.. and end up, i only remember this one sentence.

i nv think caesar is a bad guy. slightly more tyranny... but i nv felt tt he was bad. tt's why when his last parting words were those above. i really felt sad for him. to think he trusted his fren.

the point of saying all these is cos.. i think the whole story is made nice by mrs low. she explored and made us understand each character... =)

it's amazing how third party's words are sometimes so much more accurate than my own feelings. i always thought my feelings portrayed what i need and exactly how i feel. but no... i can be so wrong.

it's like when i start grumbling at this, moaning at that, complaining about this and that. but little do i noe what i ve is already the best for me. cos maybe this thing has always been ard, beside me but i dunno how to appreciate it. always complaining it's not good enough. always grumbling and wanting better excitement out there. but i can really be so wrong.

what i need is defintiely not wad i want. i must learn how to stick to wad i need. and solely wad i need. cos it will only be the best.

i'm so glad i have u ard. i really do. =) thanx for making me feel better today. =)

one of those nights, i refuse to sleep even when my eyes threaten to close. listening to songs and looking at people's blogs and pictures...

why did i even allow myself to always indulge in these emotions. how easy it is to leave footprints in people's life. and how diff it is to remove these footprints....

When we want to remember something or some special event, we take pictures. we want to be able to keep these as memories or look back at them and used them to evoke back happy memories. this is wad people do to keep memories. but there are many other type of memories tt dun ve pictures yet i wun want to lose those memories. i wonder if one day i were to lost these memories, apart from those tt i can still use pictures to remember, wad would i do. how would i grow.

i want to remember how gm used to tie my hair every morning when i was still in pre school. i remember in order to make it very neat, she will pull my hair very hard. haha.. i'm not being a sadist here but i want to remember how pampered and loved i feel from her.

i want to remember how much punishment i got from my teachers since young cos i tok too much. how embarrassing, how humilating some punishments may be. i still remember there was this once, she dun wanna give me my tea. and it was my fav porridge on a tues. we had diff tea items for diff days. i'm a talker since way young.. chatter and chatter. in primary 2.. teachers wrote i sae i m vocal but should concentrate on my studies. aa sae... vocal is being nice. tt's called talkative.

i want to remember how happy i was when chen lao shi gave me special treatment in pri school i want to remember how happy i was to ve joanne as my best fren. i wanna remember how childish i was in pri school to write nasty remarks about amelia and sarah cos i tot they were toking bad about me. and the whole big hoo haa tt followed. i wan to remember how i was being ostracised (issit spelled this way?) during recess and how i cried so bad to mummy and wad mummy did for me. i want to remember hanging out with the so called cool group thereafter. i wanan remember how they always joke abt me and cheekuey man. i wanna remember how good pri school foood taste. curry mee. hor fun.. chilli meatball.. fishball..

when i had to leave primary school, i went ijtp all by myself or so i tot. i want to remember how i made frens with angel. cos we were signing up for choir auditions. how we made fun of elaine fresh cooker. i want to remember how mrs low said maybe i should join chess club. and i asked for a second chance then got into choir. i want to remember esp sec 2. how suspend was formed. how we practised at yan's hse. how we sang and won the ferro roche( speeld this way?) and then was asked to sing during mooncake festival. tt was one of the mooncake festival i wun forget as well. and the song we composed. i wanan rememebr how lays was formed.. how i love the maths teacher. which i cannot remember her name but i noe she v pretty and i loved her. and wanna do well for her.

this is only a small part of my life.. there are so many other things i wanna keep and etached into my head. and i dun wanna lose them. cos if without them, i wun be able to grow and mature to who i m today.

=) still craving so much for tt salmon!!

firstly, must give credits to joel. thanks alot for helping me with the archives and the width of this thing. though cover the beautiful face behind.. but i would still prefer a wider width. thanks thanks thanks and a million times.

forgot to discuss with mummy the issue again. i'm hopinh she will allow me to take it but i m not pinning too much. financial wise ar... haik.

nana is nice.. i liek the last part. i cannot sae wad issit here.. cos angel haven;t read, but it's nice.. i m glad so and so... blah blah blah... i wanna be like her too.

watched rob-b-hood. cuttess.. the little baby especially. facing a little prob now.. anyone noes how to add archives to the blog. it seemed as if ever since my lappie went for a brainwash, i got affected as well. i cannot seem to remember lotsa stuff.. why ar. so brothers and sisters out there.. i need help!!!! i dunno wad's the thing to add into template for archives!!!

i really enjoyed this year's mooncake festival. hope u guys out there too. =)

it was empress dowager's birthday yesterday. went to eat at riverwalk hotel. or some river something hotel. the food i should say not good. service also. and it's expensive! but i enjoy this kind of big family gatherings. can laugh and chat. the kids.. or rather the little army of kids playing and playing. had fun but defintiely not a satisfying meal.

Your Brain is 60% Female, 40% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Your IQ Is 100

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Average Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

i watched the proposal show tonight and up till now, i'm still in the sweet mode stage. wooo.. the girl is so daring. i envy her daring-ness. and her courage to love. i remember telling my friends last time i always wanted a hong hong lie lie thunder and lightning type of r/s. i guess did it, over it already. love to the max... did many crazy things. no regrets at least. this is how i want my r/s to be. with no regrets. tt's the first impt criteria. but to ve the courage to propose in public.. as a female.. woah. tt's really woah. that girl is so cute. she sae it has always been her dream to propose to him. tt's soo sweeetttt.. sooo sweeetttt. i feel so sweetened. i feel so sweeet... hong hong lie lie. ya. i nv wanted to be plain and nv wanted to be unspecial. this is how i am. and this is how i want to be till the day i ve 2 legs in the coffin. this reminds me a little of nana. her courage in things she do and in love. i need to be courageous. to fight for things i want and want to love. woaaaah... i feeel sooo swweeettttt.... i ve been smiling since 830 to now mans.

anyway, point being. it's time to let free. and let go. let wild and let loose. i wanna do things i like and things tt will make me happy. i wan to do things wadever they may be. so i will not live in regrets. live is not short but not long either. live to the fullest!!!! so do i sound like some advertisement? ahahha... but even so, i will not join talentime. i will not be laughing stock for many people out there! i noe u guys cannot wait to laugh rightttt.

the usual thing tt happen in my daily routine. knocking or bumping myself against non-living things... just hurt my third finger. ouuuccch. i m amazed how i do it. seriously i am. i cannot wait for friday!!! friday firday friday!!!!

firstly... sincerely speaking from the bottom of my heart.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMELIA. so sorry tt i did not remember at 12 midnight. but still.. i wished u!!! i will make it up to u sometime sooon. dun be angry with me, k.. and dun disown me, k??? =)

today... HAPPY CHILDREN's DAY!!! want to buy tt boy something but dunno wad. how should i spend tmr.. putting bd one side of course. lol.. i'm procrastinating. i noe it and yet i still do it. something i dislike caused me not to want to do it or like it. but it's all mental attitude and it can be changed. i know what's my biggest problem to work on for pschology class already. i wanna change n alter my mental attitude. i like bd.. i wan to work!!!! i wnt to work for it. till the end of this last sem in school.

seriously, the most bugging problems i ve in mind is after graduation. study first? work first. if study... do i even qualify for a uni. even if i so lucky, do qualify.. study wad. den next, working, work as wad. quite interested in being a secretary. it's like pop.. suddenly this thing just come into my head. and i'm quite hot about it. maybe it will die off.. i dunno. my future.. is a blank. black blank.

i like to see my week planned out nicely. this way, i can anticipate anything. good changes in between is ok.. but not bad ones. they spoil my week like anything. i also say i want to grow up quic. to get out of the hse, to earn my income. to start out on my own. to only ve myself to listen to and not the naggings of my mum. maybe it's a sign like how i always believe? for me to be able to catch tt show on tv and tell myself never to rush into any stage of my life. the bad thing about life is it can never be repeated but the good thing is tt it doesn;t ve to be repeated if we lead it well. i thank god that whenever i m lost or very stubborn into a thought tt i neglect everyone ard me, he always show me some signs. oh well.. i will want to think it's his works. it's signs. he noes i believe in signs. =)

so.. happy meal tmr? happy is wad matters. right?

Favourites
favourite colour: White
favourite food: Fish beehoon
favourite song: All Fish Leong's songs
favourite movie: Click
favourite sport: Jogging
favourite day of the week: Friday
favourite season: Autumn
favourite ice-cream: Ben & Jerry's marcha mellow

Currents
current mood: Light-hearted, happy
current taste: Prawn noodles
current clothes: Looney tune shirt and shorts
current deskstop: Some xp default wallpaper
current toenail: No colour
current time: 14.12
current surroundings: TV and clicking of the mouse
current annoyances: BD and future.. work or uni
current thoughts: have to go fight evil monk.. sians

First
first best friends: Joanne Chua
first crush: The pair of twins who live above gm
first movie: Jurassic Park
first lie: Something about coming home late in pri sch
first music: cannot remember

Lasts:
last cigarette: none
last drink(alcohol): beer
last car ride: when edwin drove me and eve to acs
last crush: should be nic
last movie: John Tucker must Die
last phone call: From my boy
last CD played: Jay's latest


Have you ever
have you ever dated your best friend: no
have you ever broken the law: littering and stealing when young
have you ever been arrested: by the provision shop lady
have you ever skinny-dipped: no
have you ever been on tv: yes.. that dreadful chi variety tt i was commented fat
have you ever kissed someone you don't know: this ans has to be no

5 things you are wearing: White T shirt, Blue short, pink undies, black scrunchie and brown hair pin
4 things you done today: Brush teeth, eat, play jx2 and watch tv.
3 things you can hear right now: Clicking of mouse, tv and the fan
1 thing that you do when you're bored: play jx2

i wonder where's 2?

the first tuesday after school started. it started with knowing about temperaments and ended with psychology. so much of understanding human behaviours and also understanding how my mind works. in the near future, i will be able to understand myself better, know how my temperaments work. with other people around. how i can get myself better, how i can blend in with people. how i can make relationships work. i hope to gain alot out of this. and certainly the part about knowing myself.

gonna get busy. i can see it. everywhere is bumpy and hurting. i got ulcer.. i got papercut. hurting here and there... knocking everywhere i go. gosh.. wad a klutz i am. i dun like this... grrrrrrrrrr

why issit that they can be happily ever after. it irks me like crazy. this is so unfair. let me die in my own self pity...

dead

feel free to use my tagboard as a chatroom. two things. first can liven up my tagboard.. second i also can read wad are u two talking about mah. ruina sounds familiar.. ve i seen her name sumwhere. in angel's blog? or somewhere else.

school's starting tmr. no more lingzhier for me. maybe a while at night. but i dun think i would ve the time. sad to sae.. never do much on my fyp also. people who read this.. shhhh and dun tell anyone, k. =/ a good thing is i finally managed to slot in gym timings. things are starting to get on track and the train's going off already. i guess with school starting, maybe i can blog more. cos no more lingzhier wad. i will miss her.... ahahaha.... there's still sat night though..

this time round with school starting, i dun ve the urge to buy new bag or any new stuff for school. feeling so broke that got no mood to go shopping or whatsoever. siansss.. when is october coming. tmr's amelia t's bdae!!!! angel.. if u read this.. remember to wish her, k!

it's been quite some time since i last slept early. think tonight will be the night. i will leave the girl there to mine the whole entire night and see wad she gets in the morning. anyway.. kong.. u are getting more and more addictive i reckon. seriously.. somebody stop her. at least i ve self disipline.. right right!!! so amelia.. ve u figured out who's kong. angel.. u started playing already?? i can be ur shifu. apart from the virtual world one.

sometimes out of the blue.. i ve some questions tt always dun ve an answer. like in our neighbourhood, when there's a whole nest of red ants being disturbed and there's a large group of them on the street.. who is the one tt clears them away? cleaner?? road sweeper? if it is.. how do they do it? is really a large nest of red ants.


so about my photo taking.. we can always start soon.. like our usual fridays. but i m feeling fat and ugly.. so.. hmmmm.... nonetheless.. hols coming to an endd.... grrr. =/

wad's the best way not to spend any money? the right answer is to stay home and play game so tt's wad i ve been doing. unhealthy sitting down the whole day. till my legs and back ache.. but wad to do, i'm cashless mans. i can only resort to doing this. entertaining with money saved. really detest this kind of feeling. yuck...

things are more or less in place now. it just needs some direction and planning and also some organisation

and dal.. i really did spend my life savings.. 99.99999%

hey hey hey... here's my entry once again. am sorry to keep u all waiting and waiting.. really sorry. ok.. shall update on wad i have been doing these days. or rather most of this holiday tt's gg to end in a week's time.

well.. i admit i ve been neglecting this blog. all i do when i oome online is to play games. been pretty hooked to this new game.. yea.. angel is right. my pretty lingzhier. ve been playing all night.. cos in the day is my boy's time. laptop has been down since the first week of the holidays.. but now, it's finally repaired. have been using his laptop this whole holidays tt it felt wierd using back my own laptop. the difference in screen. the size and all.. my laptop is soo soo puny as compared to his. i feel so funny.. staring at a much smaller screen. and i mean.. it really seems like a much much smaller screen. but all's well and fine. my laptop is repaired. just ttt all pictures gone.. hey girls.. let's go take more pics. i need more memories!!! i need i need... and also lost some collage tt i did.. cos no more pictures. and also my music. and also some wallpaper. alot alot alot!!! grr... but i'm happy my lappie's fine and working. tt's impt.

so.. i've signed up for a gym as well. with my life savings. no exaggeration with that. seriously, it's life savings. once again.. pls donate to the leona funds. it's depletinggggg..... =/

ate grouper today. we cooked. since soo logn since we ate homecooked. sick of promfet so we decided to try grouper. big.. thick and ex. ahahha.. we are supposed to be saving money but wad the... it's sunday. sunday shall now be named as splurging and enjoying day. the rest all eat bread!!!

happy with my little update?? last week of holidays.. date me out mans.. or no more. =)

back to gmae

thanks girls for ur concern. this past week of so called holidays have really been tough on me, for some strange reason. cannot really enjoy. date me out please... bring some enjoyment to my life before the school starts. think i might suffer from serious depression without something happy now.

daddy like little boy like tt.. went supermarket and spent 80 bucks. i didn't actually see it but mum claims tt he keeps throwing things into the basket. keep taking.. thought tt was pretty cute. but mummy very angry.. cos end up. she is the one who paid the 80 bucks. den ar, daddy got fine 30 bucks. mummy got even angrier cos she sae he ratehr pay gov than split the ntuc bill with her.

it's about money again right....