| You Are a Fierce Femme |
 You have a wild side, and you aren't afraid to bring it out when the time is right. But you also know when to hang back and keep your "crazy chick" persona in check. In fact, some of your friends may be surprised to find out how far you can take it... You may look mild mannered, but it's all an act! |
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Monday, May 29, 2006
AVRIL LAVIGNE
"Nobody's Home"
I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
"Nobody's Home"
I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
Daniel Powter
Bad Day
Where is the moment we need at the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
(Oh.. Holiday..)
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
(yeah...)
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Bad Day
Where is the moment we need at the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
(Oh.. Holiday..)
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
(yeah...)
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
when i read, i really read. i put myself in the scene, in the plot. i feel for the characters, i feel their joy, share their smiles, feel their anger and understand it, feel their sadness and their heartache. i really can feel it. tt's how intense i read my comics. people may look at me and say, why bother to be so serious. it's just pictures, but i dun think so. and my emotions tell me so. i smile when they smile... laugh at their silliness, feel angry when things are not justified, fear when they fear and cry when i see them cry. it's the heart aching agony....
boon is right. either she and i feel the same about some stuff or maybe she noes me well. every page i flipped, my heart ached. every second i read.. the more i read, the more choked up i feel. it's hard to explain. i'm sure it's the comic. a big part of it tt made me feel this way. but this small part is calling out to me. don't ignore it. cos it wun go away. that's what it's shouting to me. maybe tt explains why i off my laptop... and lay in bed, thinking and thinking, and i woke up, switched on the lappie and started blogging. i just need to pen it out. in this case, type it out. i just need to let it out. but how... cos i dun noe how i started.
they sae.. the root of the problem is usually the problem itself. but wad happens when i dunno wad's the problem. i feel like some troubled teen. but i noe í'm over that stage.. tormented? maybe not tt bad.. somewhere in between? i've lost my soul. i'm not someone who will escape. i mean who am i kidding, that voice in me wun go away, no matter how far i run. so i decided to face it. but wad do i get? question marks? and more of them.. blanked. totally blanked out.
i have solutions to it. but i dunno how to go aobut applying. i'm afraid one wrong attempt, and i wun even dare to try again. i'm like going back to those days. pretense, false nonchalent, feign ignorance. there is something in me tt i've lost and i need to get it back. where. how? there are things lying in front of me to do. there are pple ard me for me to exend my hand out to. i'm doing everything tt i can. somewhere somwhow, not enough. i'm not trying hard enough. either tt.. or i've lost it. i dunno how to do it. i've lost it.
i'm not making sense. i'm getting incoherrent. tt's exactly how i feel now. but on a lighter note, i'm glad tt i ve who i ve in my life. dun doubt urself.
i've just got to pick myself up. tt's for sure.
but where. where did i last leave myself.... how do i trace back when everything has been wiped away like the traces i left in the sand.. being washed away by the waves.
where....
boon is right. either she and i feel the same about some stuff or maybe she noes me well. every page i flipped, my heart ached. every second i read.. the more i read, the more choked up i feel. it's hard to explain. i'm sure it's the comic. a big part of it tt made me feel this way. but this small part is calling out to me. don't ignore it. cos it wun go away. that's what it's shouting to me. maybe tt explains why i off my laptop... and lay in bed, thinking and thinking, and i woke up, switched on the lappie and started blogging. i just need to pen it out. in this case, type it out. i just need to let it out. but how... cos i dun noe how i started.
they sae.. the root of the problem is usually the problem itself. but wad happens when i dunno wad's the problem. i feel like some troubled teen. but i noe í'm over that stage.. tormented? maybe not tt bad.. somewhere in between? i've lost my soul. i'm not someone who will escape. i mean who am i kidding, that voice in me wun go away, no matter how far i run. so i decided to face it. but wad do i get? question marks? and more of them.. blanked. totally blanked out.
i have solutions to it. but i dunno how to go aobut applying. i'm afraid one wrong attempt, and i wun even dare to try again. i'm like going back to those days. pretense, false nonchalent, feign ignorance. there is something in me tt i've lost and i need to get it back. where. how? there are things lying in front of me to do. there are pple ard me for me to exend my hand out to. i'm doing everything tt i can. somewhere somwhow, not enough. i'm not trying hard enough. either tt.. or i've lost it. i dunno how to do it. i've lost it.
i'm not making sense. i'm getting incoherrent. tt's exactly how i feel now. but on a lighter note, i'm glad tt i ve who i ve in my life. dun doubt urself.
i've just got to pick myself up. tt's for sure.
but where. where did i last leave myself.... how do i trace back when everything has been wiped away like the traces i left in the sand.. being washed away by the waves.
where....
Thursday, May 25, 2006
read through the scrapbook my darlings gave me on my last birthday. and somehow... feelings got evoked and i started to tear. how they stood by me.. how they tell me friends forever. i mean wad have i done for my friends this year.... god gave me friends like them.... but yet dun cherish... but tt scrapbook is good. everytime read already.. will be damn touched. i miss my friends...
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
this blog seems so dead. and is no one actually reading my entries anymore? why no one reminded me to blog.. or tell me they missed my entries?? hmph.... =/
life is one whirl of something not as strong as mess.. but not in order. things are going out of hand, phones are hanging on me. many things not in place... eyes hurting. i'm confused, i'm lost. i want to noe where i stand, yet i fear to find the truth. or rather dun dare. yes, this is my life for the past 2 weeks or so. and on top of tt, have been sick for 2 weeks. cough.. sore throat.. fever on a few days. feeling weak. headache more prominent. wad is so good about lfie anyway. oh, maybe apart from the fact tt i've watched movies on a regular basis. something tt at least i'm keeping on track on. going to watch xmen today.
having a sudden craving for new york pizza. i wanna eatttttt...... heart is aching out for food, or mouth to be exact. but my mind says no. one of those days tt i look in the mirror and see fats everywhere. ugly image and fat woman standing in front of me. grrr. it's just bad days....
what kind of an entry to revive the blog is this. is this why no one reads my blog anymore.... =(
life is one whirl of something not as strong as mess.. but not in order. things are going out of hand, phones are hanging on me. many things not in place... eyes hurting. i'm confused, i'm lost. i want to noe where i stand, yet i fear to find the truth. or rather dun dare. yes, this is my life for the past 2 weeks or so. and on top of tt, have been sick for 2 weeks. cough.. sore throat.. fever on a few days. feeling weak. headache more prominent. wad is so good about lfie anyway. oh, maybe apart from the fact tt i've watched movies on a regular basis. something tt at least i'm keeping on track on. going to watch xmen today.
having a sudden craving for new york pizza. i wanna eatttttt...... heart is aching out for food, or mouth to be exact. but my mind says no. one of those days tt i look in the mirror and see fats everywhere. ugly image and fat woman standing in front of me. grrr. it's just bad days....
what kind of an entry to revive the blog is this. is this why no one reads my blog anymore.... =(
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
| You are a Look Before You Leap, Yellow Light Dater |
 When it comes to the dating game, you fall in the middle You aren't going to ask out any cute guy that comes your way That doesn't mean you're a total wall-flower though. You'll smile and flirt - for Mr. Almost Perfect. You're online dating style? You're wired to spend time reading profiles carefully Once you figure out what you want, you'll make a few connections |
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Kelly Clarkson - Because Of You
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
Kalan Porter - True Colours
You with those sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Though I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can loose sight of it
And the darkness inside you makes you feel so small
But I see your true colors shining through
I see your true colors
That's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
Are beautiful like a rainbow
Show me your smile
Don't be unhappy
Can't remember when
I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
Just call me up because you know I'll be there
And I see your true colors shining through
I see your true colors
That's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
Are beautiful
Like a rainbow
You're beautiful
I see your true colors
Just remember
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
Just call me up because you know I'll be there
And I see your true colors shining through
I see your true colors
That's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
Are beautiful
Beautiful
Like a rainbow
Like a rainbow
You're beautiful
Your true colors are beautiful
You with those sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Though I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can loose sight of it
And the darkness inside you makes you feel so small
But I see your true colors shining through
I see your true colors
That's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
Are beautiful like a rainbow
Show me your smile
Don't be unhappy
Can't remember when
I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
Just call me up because you know I'll be there
And I see your true colors shining through
I see your true colors
That's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
Are beautiful
Like a rainbow
You're beautiful
I see your true colors
Just remember
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
Just call me up because you know I'll be there
And I see your true colors shining through
I see your true colors
That's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
Are beautiful
Beautiful
Like a rainbow
Like a rainbow
You're beautiful
Your true colors are beautiful
Friday, May 05, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
having ta early in the morning. oh well... i know it's not getting early. but i still feel sleepy. train ride to school never feel shorter like these days. totally occupied by Today. with the upcoming elections creating lots of drama... i'm just digestin all information i'm reading. exposing myself to politics...
can't wait for ta to end. i noe i'm gg to have a great day ahead. catching a show and later cooking the silly one. just hoping i can get exactly wad i want at fair price.
really wanna go and take a short holiday during the june hols. or rather during my one mth break. why issit that i ve no money in my rainy day funds? any kind donors out there? for leona's rainy day funds.
realised it's been so long since i last party or paint the town red. it's been so long since i last drank.... hmmmm..... kinda miss it.. dressing up and drinking.
better pay attention. =/
can't wait for ta to end. i noe i'm gg to have a great day ahead. catching a show and later cooking the silly one. just hoping i can get exactly wad i want at fair price.
really wanna go and take a short holiday during the june hols. or rather during my one mth break. why issit that i ve no money in my rainy day funds? any kind donors out there? for leona's rainy day funds.
realised it's been so long since i last party or paint the town red. it's been so long since i last drank.... hmmmm..... kinda miss it.. dressing up and drinking.
better pay attention. =/
Friday, April 28, 2006
when words pour out my system and reflections are made, i see myself in the mirror and my reflection tells me that nothing has changed. i thought it was different or was it myself tt wanted the difference but i came to a conclusion. maybe due to effect of doing my bd, but i picture it as a business. like business, it can vary. it can have its specialty, it can be different from its competitors. but at the end of the day, it boils down to one thing and that is to make money. no matter how different a business is, it still wants to make money. i guess that's how it is. with me.. especially when i see no change in myself.
i faced this prob in the past, i face this problem now. how often can i rely on you. u were there in the past, u are there now... but who can assure me ur presence in the future. i feel bad in a way.. for always doing this to you. bet loneliness will creep in when u leave me. not literally.. but no longer have time for me. due to some reasons. but anyway.. thanks. wad are girlfrends for yeaaa... not to be too wad, but i thank god for having a friend like u. especially u. u are like close to family type.. my roots mans. so no matter how far i go, my roots still remain. maybe i need to change my mindset? but tt's wad i tell myself all the time... without actually fulfilling it.
somehow... my body system cannot take it anymore. so tired. in a non-literally way. lol. feels so good to get it all out. everytime without fail. i wanna get married at 24.. latest 29 since my 18 year old dream can't be fulfilled. sorry girls... no god children for u guys in the meantime. i bet i'm infertile. like wad yan sae lah.
i do ridiculous thing when i am not thinking straight. as usual. can't wait for may to come. focus focus focus. on wad's impt and wad's not and the rest. i'll leave to the divine one. yes.. this should be it. like it or not.. this is me.
eye infection seems to be getting better. but no contacts for me.. hmm. this is like a small impact of my life. but i guess i could adapt to spects. i hope.... a good weekend will wait ahead of me. tt i'm sure. i'm being positive here. it's all in the mind.
the blacks are freaking me out mans. dunno why with good effect these days. tt means no late nights and all already. where's my nightlife and all my enjoyment. maybe it's cause i'm losing a certain somebdoy.. tt's why. i feel the ga and the distant. so near yet so far apart.
i cannot emphasis how much i hate them. grrrr.. gets me all paranoid.
i faced this prob in the past, i face this problem now. how often can i rely on you. u were there in the past, u are there now... but who can assure me ur presence in the future. i feel bad in a way.. for always doing this to you. bet loneliness will creep in when u leave me. not literally.. but no longer have time for me. due to some reasons. but anyway.. thanks. wad are girlfrends for yeaaa... not to be too wad, but i thank god for having a friend like u. especially u. u are like close to family type.. my roots mans. so no matter how far i go, my roots still remain. maybe i need to change my mindset? but tt's wad i tell myself all the time... without actually fulfilling it.
somehow... my body system cannot take it anymore. so tired. in a non-literally way. lol. feels so good to get it all out. everytime without fail. i wanna get married at 24.. latest 29 since my 18 year old dream can't be fulfilled. sorry girls... no god children for u guys in the meantime. i bet i'm infertile. like wad yan sae lah.
i do ridiculous thing when i am not thinking straight. as usual. can't wait for may to come. focus focus focus. on wad's impt and wad's not and the rest. i'll leave to the divine one. yes.. this should be it. like it or not.. this is me.
eye infection seems to be getting better. but no contacts for me.. hmm. this is like a small impact of my life. but i guess i could adapt to spects. i hope.... a good weekend will wait ahead of me. tt i'm sure. i'm being positive here. it's all in the mind.
the blacks are freaking me out mans. dunno why with good effect these days. tt means no late nights and all already. where's my nightlife and all my enjoyment. maybe it's cause i'm losing a certain somebdoy.. tt's why. i feel the ga and the distant. so near yet so far apart.
i cannot emphasis how much i hate them. grrrr.. gets me all paranoid.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
The Five Love Languages
My primary love language is probablyPhysical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.
Complete set of results
| Physical Touch: | 8 | |
| Quality Time: | 7 | |
| Receiving Gifts: | 7 | |
| Acts of Service: | 4 | |
| Words of Affirmation: | 4 |
Information
Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.Take the quiz
Friday, April 21, 2006
BEACH BOYS lyrics - "Wouldn't It Be Nice"
Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldn't it be nice
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy
Wouldn't it be nice
You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice
Good night my baby
Sleep tight my baby
Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldn't it be nice
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy
Wouldn't it be nice
You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice
Good night my baby
Sleep tight my baby
i thought i was being emotional then, i mean with alcohol and being not at hm and all, and memories invading every space in my head every single day and images taking over my entire living soul. when i told chin about it, i think she thought i was being too emotional too. and i believed it. till today.
watched the show again and i conclude. i wasn't being too emotional then. i'm touched, genuinely.
planning gets messy. and plans dun get to carry out for a long time already. when when when will it happen. when will it actually happen. hopes get dashed and was shocked to hear tt it was a blow even. but somehow, we will gather soon and meet up real real soon, k. i promise to do my part. u guys mean too much for me to give up. i would lose so much so i would always take initiative to arrange, k. promise me u guys wun reject me too much... =)
sometimes the pain gets so unbearable tt i start to cry. it's the little girl in me tt never change. still remember when i was living with gm and i got sick. the pain got into me tt i woke up in the middle of the night and cry. then i will proceed to call my mum... and scared the hell out of her. imagine ur daughter call u in the middle of the night and start crying.. and only keep saying pain. this is an incident tt i will never forget. cos no matter how much disagreements me and mummy have or how not close we are. this is a mother-daughter thing tt will not change. instinct maybe? but ya... whimpering like a little puppy everytime i'm sick. when will this little girl in me disappear. somehow, i dun ever want it to disappear cos this is the only connectioni have with my mum now.
maybe right now, as much as i want to deny it, i'm just not strong enough to take care of myself. tt's why the little girl is still inside. as much as i wan to sae i've grown or become stronger or more independent, i cumble very easily. i feel so weak when i'm not feeling well. like sandcastle easily washed away by the waves.. when will i learn to stand strong and take care of myself? at this rate i'm going, i ve to depend on pple all the time?
m i not strong? i dunno how to take care of myself. will u take care of me? always..?
watched the show again and i conclude. i wasn't being too emotional then. i'm touched, genuinely.
planning gets messy. and plans dun get to carry out for a long time already. when when when will it happen. when will it actually happen. hopes get dashed and was shocked to hear tt it was a blow even. but somehow, we will gather soon and meet up real real soon, k. i promise to do my part. u guys mean too much for me to give up. i would lose so much so i would always take initiative to arrange, k. promise me u guys wun reject me too much... =)
sometimes the pain gets so unbearable tt i start to cry. it's the little girl in me tt never change. still remember when i was living with gm and i got sick. the pain got into me tt i woke up in the middle of the night and cry. then i will proceed to call my mum... and scared the hell out of her. imagine ur daughter call u in the middle of the night and start crying.. and only keep saying pain. this is an incident tt i will never forget. cos no matter how much disagreements me and mummy have or how not close we are. this is a mother-daughter thing tt will not change. instinct maybe? but ya... whimpering like a little puppy everytime i'm sick. when will this little girl in me disappear. somehow, i dun ever want it to disappear cos this is the only connectioni have with my mum now.
maybe right now, as much as i want to deny it, i'm just not strong enough to take care of myself. tt's why the little girl is still inside. as much as i wan to sae i've grown or become stronger or more independent, i cumble very easily. i feel so weak when i'm not feeling well. like sandcastle easily washed away by the waves.. when will i learn to stand strong and take care of myself? at this rate i'm going, i ve to depend on pple all the time?
m i not strong? i dunno how to take care of myself. will u take care of me? always..?
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