it took just merely few words of yours to break me, to get mi devastated, plunging into the deepest and darkess pit of depression. is this love? on the other hand, it took merely a few words to get mi standing back again, to see the light in things. is this love? crying over and over again for something I dun even know whether wld happen or not, is this love? tossing and turing in my bed, was tired initially but sumhow just cannot sleep after ur silence, is this love? will u tell mi wad does ur silence means? wad do u wan? wad do u wan me to do? to like u so much so much, to have ur every action and words affect mi so much, i noe i have step in already. i've got no turning back, dun turn me away, dun hurt me, m just as fragile. i noe everyone might think i m silly, m stupid and i can't blame them for saying it but this is love.. rite?i chose this myself... aniwae, sorry to those hu worried for me. sorrie to those hu cared and also to mi neighbours... ha

jie went back to australia yesterday, went to send her off. won't be seeing her till 6 months later. it's a beautiful saturday and i stayed at home cos nobody asked mi out. quite sad hor, but never mind, i completed all my homework, not a very big achievement but at least it's sumthing. now, all i have to do is revise mi work, esp econs... gotta catch up a little cos i have been rather blur in class... dun really get wad da lecturer sae leh. and mi FOM too.... dere's quite sum stuff for mi to do but sumhow, mi mind is constantly drifted to mi darling. haven't see her for 2 days already and i miss her... feel like goin to her house to stay but m tired of coming out with excuses here and dere... gosh, y can't mi mum be a little more lenient. maybe one night, i wld just sneak out of mi house and never come back! ahaha, wad a silly tot of mine. aniwae, it's been 2 weeks since sch started, so far so good but i noe with a blink of the eye, tests and projects wld start piling up already... ahahha, so better relax now as much as possible. found myself a job... quite good pay and dey are willing to take mi even tho i can only work on firday.... yay.. =) baby just called mi.. sae she goin out...

You're Most Like The Season Autumn ...

You're warm, and the most approachable. You have
that gentle prescence about you. People can
relate to you, and find you easy company.
However it's likely you've been hurt in the
past and it has left you scarred so things can
become rather chilly with you at times. Being
the third Season in, you're mature, trustworthy
and loyal to your friends but prone to
depression and negative thinking.

Well done... You're the shy and sensitive season :)


?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

just read amelia's blog. wondering how come she can type so much. ahaha, tt girl ar, must be very excited to get a blog, tt's why. oh, m i quite mean to sae that. never mind lah, wad are 9 yrs frens for right, amelia. aniwae, she is so annoying. msg her sae i wanna tok to her on da fone and she never reply. meanie. she's not the only one tho, that xiuwen ar, was msging her one dae and ask if she wanna chat with me on da fone and she never reply too. how cum ar? no one wans to tok to me on the fone? ahahha. aniwae, dis is my second week of sch. how did i pass my long weekend. well, went out with cf and ys on fridae and we watch mean girls, ate lips. baby was quite angry with me for eating lips tho. i noe m quite broke already yet i m spening like no one's prob. ate lips twice for that week. summore keep saying i wanna go lips with baby yet i keep going there with my frens. sorry dear, i really better hafta start saving soon. look at todae's date and i m quite broke already. sat went town again to support charmaine, her sch doin sum charity thingy there. went there and donate all mi coins. it's been a long time since i saw that girl... changed quite alot... nice to meet up and pls hor, charmaine.. u still owe all of us a bbq!! ahahaha, i live so close to u, dun pretend ar. after that, headed down to pasir ris downtown east cos is little ashley's bdae party!! gosh... that sweet little thing. when i reached dere, there were soo many kids there playing. realised i really grew older liao. it's no longer my era. felt so out of place, like go dere and eat only leh. summore, deborah didn't go and debbie came late!! gosh! soo lonely for like 2 hrs plus... spent da whole of sundae with my darling baby. stayed over at her place the night before. guess she was really tired cos she fell asleep halfway thru watching. reminds mi alot of deborah. we used to watch vcd together and she wld always fall aslp first. helped mi darling to pack bit bit of the hse and also to set up her com. quite tiring.. ate a late breakfast.. watched vcd... the night before, she bought quite a number of vcds... and den laze ard at her place. we love doing that.. just lazing ard and apparently, time passes very fast when the both of us laze ard. we went ikea in the evening to have a look at coat stand!! she wants to get one for herself and for her parents... we went achorpoint to get sum stuff for her mum and baby met her fren who is workin at haagen dazs. we got free ice cream to eat... gosh.. it's delicious... i can't even use words to describe... but it's realli very very nice.... ahahha den went hawker centre and eat dinner. baby sae she dun wanna go hawker centre and eat animore.. next time must packet the food.. she saes it makes her clothes and her hair stinks. ahhaha.. i m fine with it.. who is the princess here lor! wen back her place to cath abit of the nkf show den went home after that. it's da first time i actually took a train home frm her place.. realli save quite alot lor... ahahha. finally about todae... very tired dis morning when i woke up... almost had to drag miself off the bed.. luckily last night, i already msged xuanming and told him to msg mi in case i fail to wake up. sch is ok... ec was fun.. my accounts tutorial was done well and i m proud of miself and den it's the itab... tt's sooo sian!! very bored.. fell asleep during that lesson... neway... got a new camera fone... for my bdae frm mi parents... =) m tired typing...

one week has passed. one week of school life. lucky me, i've got no school tmr. got my cca settled, joined environmental club.. ahahha.. keep the earth clean and green and i also join mentoring club... i need the cca points so no chioce hafta join sumthing. got sum textbooks.. sooo ex.. mi heart quite pain. met baby for the past 3 daes after school, came home quite late every night so no time to actualli consolidate my notes and read them. spent quite a bomb on taxi fares but she was sweet last night, she sent mi home. i kinda miss her cos i didn't see her todae. her course kinda ended already and she's back at work. she ar, cannot make it for a 9 to 5 job.. she gets even more tired everydae and she simply can't wake up on time every morning. hafta keep taking cabs. yaya! tmr no school, m goin out with ys and cf, waitin for dem to finish their sch den going to watch mean girls... baby want to watch tt show too but too bad, she owes mi spiderman!! i m CRAVING for that show can! we are gonna watch it this sundae.. ahahha..sooo far soo good.. life is not too bad.. i can't ask for much. baby's bdae is cuming.. in about a mth plus time.. wad shld i get.. hmmm....

woah... it's already my second day at school. everything's fine for the moment excpet our hols are shorter and dere wun be aby more sub paper if i do fail mi exams. i gotta do well for every CA cos dey weigh quite alot in my final grade. baby having course these two days so we went out yesterday and today. fun.. it's always fun being with my girl. went over to her hse yesterday and she cooked seafood pasta... we are soooo damn bloated after the meal, we had mushroom soup too and one big balck pepper chicken.. gosh... we had to waste food and really very very full!! ahaha, baby's pasta is very nice.. tho i dun realli like to admit it ot her... lalala.. and today, we went to watch around da world in 80 daes.. ahahha.. free tix.. tt's y. it's not too bad.. excpet, both of us dun really like jackie chan... niwae... after movei.. we went kopitiam and eat.. den realised i left mi precious file with all mt notes back at mos at ps.. where we watch movie... we walked all da way back to get it.. soo sorry baby.. i promise to be more careful next time.. tmr got early dae.. end at 3.. baby gonna cum pick mi again like wad she did todae.. sooo sweet... we are gonna eat lucnch in my school first den go visit frankie... next week cannot meet her soo often animore.... gotta do sum serious sch work already... m missing her.. =)

m in school now, using the com. slacking away waiting for the 1pm lecture to start... soo tired.. meeting baby later. wondering how is she doin ih her class.. ahaha...

woah. time really pass very fast. so much things have happened after i came back and now, 3 more daes and i m starting school already. jie is back... welcum back. i realli miss her, her cooking and her just being ard in singapore. sumhow, nothing much have changed between us, everything just felt like she has been all the while in singapore and tt we just met up after a long time. deb too. it's been such a long time since we had night feast. i missed it. like how we started in da past. little packets of snacks frm provision shop. always eatin finish. now, big packets... go supermarket buy summore... and we always have remaining food. ahaha, those were the time. i bet if mi aunt sees this, she wld just faint.niway, orientation is finally over. the 3 daes of orientation tt i did not really look forward to is finally over. first day, we played games and like get to noe u session mainly. nothing much. got to noe mi klassmates a little more here and dere. den cos da first dae was so sian, i pon orientation da next dae and went out with my cousins.. ahhaha. yesterday was flag dae... and can u believe it.. sae already also paiseh myself only.. i onlu managed to have $6.70 in my tin. ahahha.. i was lazy... slagged ard in paya lebar. neway, not all my fault.. da location wasn't good to sell flag, k! tho one of mi klassmates managed to get a total of 90 bucks plus plus..ahahah.. yaya.. i m just lazy.. i hate selling flags! after flag selling, went out with baby. actually, tot can meet her earlier but i was held up in school.. grr... dey make everyone sit dere while dey count da money.. quite a waste of time yea. went out with baby and she bought mi a school bag and a pair of jeans... and slippers too!! ahahha... actually, she only promised to get mi a pair of jeans and she ended up getting more.. lalalla.. still got 2 more daes to relax before school starts. out of nowhere, i suddenly feel quite stressed up. dunno why also leh. school starting, i wan to do well. scared i can't make frens... ys not in da same klass as mi... hmmm.. i guess this is the time for mi to be independent... learn to depend on no one but urself.

i m back!!! i m back! and i m burnt! hu sae phucket is having their rainy season? for the many days that i m dere, the sun is so high up and so strong. phuket's sun is poisonous... m hurting frm mi sunburnt.. ouch.. painz. baby more poor thing. dunno why leg also swollen and it hurts for her to walk. the holidays were great. didn't do much shopping or sight seeing tho but it's fine with me. to me, it's just relaxation and spending quality time with my baby before mi sch reopens. and time really flies cos next tues is my orientation already. jie coming back this sundae... everything is moving ahead of mi.. sooo fast. 5th july coming... mi sch starts... 4th july.. euro cup final.. whoa! neway, soory gals.. didn't get gifts for u guys cos very hectic... sun very hot... onli did shopping at night and i m on a budget tour!! i miss my baby and i miss phuket.. not the sun tho. it wld be good if we can stay dere longer so that our skin can repair and den get a more even tan back. but m still glad i m back!!!! lalalallaa

since i've chosen this, i've got to learn that there's no tmr and there wun be any assurance or confirmation. everything is still so unstable in da future, so why talk about it or why get so bothered about it. when it comes. it comes. make full use of everydae that i have and live it to the fullest, with no regrets. i've got to take each day as it comes. this is good. it makes me learn new things everyday and how to improve myself in each and every little way. neway, spent the whole dae getting my stuff for the trip. she's using a deodourant that's so diff to get. i feel as if it's out of stock.. ahaha, didn't get it in the end, unless i wanna travel out of tampines. m almost done with my packing. dun tink i missed out anything. my bag is so fat now. dunno how to carry it out of the house tmr. m goin thaialnd in like 2 daes time? wun be spending too much time at thailand tho cos m arriving there ard late evening... and leaving there on tues morn. quite sad... but never mind... wld just enjoy each and everydae to the fullest! =) phucket... sun (hopefully), beach and sand... here i cum!

a mondae spent with my mum. we went riverwalk to do facial and buy sum beauty products. mum spent quite sum money dere. den i got a little grumpy with mum when she inisit i go temple and pray. i noes she means well but m tired, i wanna go home as soon as possible. we made a trip down to grandma's place summore. gosh, really wanted to cum home cause dunno y, i was damn tired. felt quite bad for being so grouchy to mum... =( neway, can't wait for thurs, den fri! counting down to da trip manz... mi time of month came todae.. gosh.. dunno whether to count myself lucky or unlucky... but hope it wld end by fri... cos i wanna go suntanning!!! just received a msg frm junior. she sae weaather at phucket not very good.. gloomy.. die... if da weather's gonna be like tt when i m at phucket.. wld die... soo disappointing can. goin out with baby tmr.. =) i can't believe this.. dun used to like soccer but now m a tiny fan of the euro cup.. ahahaha

woah. wad a fulfilling day at home. woke up this morning to wake my baby up, such a lazy pig. tt woman ar, ended taking cab to work, tsk tsk! watched abit of tv, went downstaris to get tuna cos i have bread at home den i started my packing. empty out my whole cupboard to preparefor new clothes. threw away many pairs of jeans, many tank tops etc. basically, threw away many stuff, gotta write out a whole long list of clothes to buy cos mi cupboard is rather empty now, ahaha. haven't let mum inspect the clothes i wanna throw, surely get scolding frm her wan.. den next, went to change mi bedsheet, never did it on my own before. mum is always the one doing it. even tho mi bed is not a queen or king size, it's still quite heavy, took mi quite sum time to get things done. damn tiring. after which, i kinda packed mi table a little, making it neater, throwing away litter which i m so fond of leaving on the table. den cleaned mi floor. got rid of all mi hair on the floor, ahaha, my mum and baby are all gonna be so proud of me. baby asked mi to pack mi things so that everything is neat and tidy before i leave, give mi mum a better impression or sumthing. and now, i m online reading about phuket, gotta noe more about phuket before i go there. need to learn how to bargain and look fierce, ahahaha. m so hardworking! i m leaving for phuket in less than a week, m soo excited! can't wait but i haven't pack too. neway, met up with xcyflawx yesterdae with ys, winnie and mi darling dotter! had lotsa fun! tho dey went to watch harry potter and i didn't. we just ended up splitting. it was great seeing everyone else. feels good! gotta bathe soon, feel a little dirty frm the dust of mi room. =) haven't seen mi baby for 2 daes.. 3 including todae.. miss her.

wad's wrong? my eyes are dry now but can't be sure if they will be later when i sleep. ever since last night, things seem to be pretty messy and it's affecting me badly. i dunno wad to tink or wad to sae anymore. m sorrie for being so stupid and not tinking before i sae or do anything. i realli dun wan to add any more burden to u. i noe u already have alot to tink about. i just wan to be dere, just to do my part. even if i were to be onli in da shadows... it's fine but things just have to take a turn. can't blame anyone but miself. i stressed her out and it cause a stain between us. dunno how to fix it or whether it shld be fixed... dunno dunno.... aniwae, went out with baby todae. todae's kinda da last dae we meet before we head for thailand. todae's baby's last half dae before the trip to thailand.. mi poor darling is working full shift throughout.. feel quite bad goin out to enjoy without when she's working so hard and so stressed out. we went temple to pray... for baby... and den we went shopping... it was great.. baby bought more than mi when it's supposed to be me doin the shopping!! not fair.. after that.. went over to baby's place.. her mum bought dinner for us.. sooo scary!!! bought soo much stuff just for 3 person (including her dad).. had a fun time.. m missing her... took cab home.. AGAIN. i noe y i ve been so broke... cos of mi cab fares. i hope everything wld be fine. wld be fine.

feeling hot all over... m i running a fever? mum insist she wans to send mi to the airport! how... soo frustrating.... aniwae, went out with mum todae. spent abt 5 hrs plus at the salon... it was so cold in dere. goin out with ys, cf and maybe xiuwen tmr.. going out to shop!! yea.. like finally. sooo sad, it's the 3 of us again... hopefully, this fridae wld be better.. can go out with angel and xiuwen. and amelia.. hmmm, trying to plan a dae with her... apparently, she's very busy.. cannot squeeze out time for me leh. =( amelia, if u are reading this... better cum out with mi alone one of these daes.. i miss u!! m gonna do sum proper shopping tmr man.. but baby sae i cannot spend too much.. bleah! can't take it animore, better go measure mi temp... m realli feeling quite hot...

yippee!!! life is so great at this point of time. ahaha, organ exam finally over, did quite badly.. dun tink i can get my distiction, but i did mi best. aniwae, it's over, over over! yay! i dun care if i dun do well lah.. it's over... ahahah.. and work is FINALLY OVER!! i m free!! m a free girl now!! ahahha... tt is even happier for mi. it's shopping and more shopping.. going out and more going out... felt as if one big burden is finally off my chest! ahahahaa. had a great time @ baby's place last night. wanted to stay up da whole night but we were too tired and had to work todae also. both of us dun wanna go to work todae sooo badly! it's soo nice cuddling baby to sleep.. m missing her already... hoping that mum wld let mi stay over one more night this coming wed but i guess it's too much to ask for yea... better dun take it for granted... shall see first.. yeah!! m soo happy!

scared. scared. scared. feeling all nervous now about my exam later. mummy is a little crazy, she told mi to wear this long skirt to exam... ahahha, bet she wans mi to seduce the examiner yea. m very nervous now, dun dare to practise too much, scared mi fingers wld hurt... i can't wait to get it over and done with... goin baby's hse tonight to stay over and we can go to work together tmr.. yippee... mi baby soo poor thing, next week no off dae at all.. she's gonna be soo tired... m gonna buy sum vitamin pills for her later on. she's falling sick i tink. gosh, i haven't bathed yet! and i m sooo scared!!! wish mi luck!!

woke up this morning dreading tomorrow. tmr is the dae, the dae of my organ exam. everything's stressing mi out. i can't fine mi grade 5 theory cert that i m supposed to bring tmr to take mi grade 6 exam. dun remember taking grade 5 theory exam at all. mum can't remember. onli mi teacher insisted that i did. haik... dun even noe after practising so hard, can take da exam or not. head pain. teacher coming over later, she so sweet, bought mi lunch. dun tink wed was mi last dae of work, i tink i hafta repot on sun. sun den is mi official last dae... y.... m soo sick and tired. finally had a little enjoyment yesterdae. met up with ys and cf and we went k box to sing to our heart's content. it was fun... grandma gave mi sum money when i went over her place yest to look for mi cert. baby asked mi to save the money.. dun anyhow spend. baby, i miss you alot. i dunno when's da last time we actually went out together. i noe we dun haf a chioce and i noe u are trying by coming down to suntec for a while here and dere when i m working. but this dun seem enough cos i realli miss u alot. sorry b for being so not understanding last night. i noe work is piling up for u and it's stressing u up. i shld be dere for u, not adding on to ur burden... sorry. i miss u lots... =(

so wad's new in my life. nothing much i guess. chatted with angel for a while last night when i got home. realised m very outdated when it cums to sch life cos i didn't even noe that the hols ve started already. updated angel on my life and she did so too. i miss her alot. used to see her almost everydae last time and now... we agreed to meet up as soon as possible.. after mi last dae of work which hopefully wld be this coming sundae. baby wants mi to work 4 more daes after this sundae.. four full shift to earn the money.. she's mad... i told her mi body cannot take it anymore.. physically and mentally.. i need to enjoy! i need to buy clothes and party! i need to meet up with so many pple... i deserve this enjoyment, k! aniwae, heard that after the hols, wld be their mid yrs.. angel, xiuwen etc etc all need to study. time is limited.. and like hafta neet up before i go to thailand for hols. baby shifted house yesterdae.. i went to the new house on sat, wanted to stay over but mi mum dun allow, ended up taking a cab.. not cheap, k.. fmr her place back to mine plus the midnight charge. mum refused to pay... m soo angry with her.. let mi stay overnight and i dun hafta spend a cent wad! 5 more daes to organ exams... stressed... hopefully i wld do well, i wan to do well. goin over to baby's place to stay on sat. haven't told mum yet. haik, haven't spend enough time with her ever since... last week? i miss her.. and i miss xiuwen, angel and xinying too! and yansing.. tt girl ar, ever since our french klass ended.. and she didn't go for the last lesson summore, haven't been keepin in touch much.. dunno wad is she busy with. gosh, i wan to stop work soooonn... den can enjoy... mi and cf even wrote down all the places we wld go after we quit and all the things we wanna do.. i can't wait!

todae is such a terrible dae. had an argument with baby last night, didn't get much sleep and woke up very early this morning... aniwae, sorrie baby... i hafta admit i m not sensitive enough. and work is still as tiring as ever.. many unpleasant thing happened. cf and i wanted to quit even before the 10th cos tt girl cannot stand it animore and she even agreed to pay mi for mi losses.. but ultimately, we need to ask frankie about it and haik, he sae he cannot find replacement so he cannot release us. =( went home this afternoon in the rain. was so cold and drenched... it's been such a long time since it rained and yet, i hafta be in it.. and can't enjoy it.. wtf... was practically shivering while waitin for bus at the bus stop. it's really terrible... i dun feel good... never meet baby todae.. =( i miss her tho she can be soo annoying and irritating at times....

4 continuous daes of full shift and i feel as if half of mi is dying... mi feets hurts, mi whole body aches... cf and ys went to watch movie todae... laws of attraction.. i hate this show manz.. this show has sumthing against mi.. always dun get to watch it one.. 16 more daes to freedom and liberty... can't wait! m confirm goin thailand in the third week of june.. can't wait manz... dere are many things for mi to look forward to in the mth of june. must meet up with everyone.. catch up, gossip... dress up blah blah blah.. cannot wait. m working half dae tmr, den cuming back to practise mi organ.. must do well... gosh.. m sooo tired... and i miss mi baby alot..