And I am home alone... again! Mum went Chiangmai 2 days after dad went Bangkok. Dad would be back on tues or wed then there will be someone at home at least. wish i had a sister, it would be nice to have someone around without parents cos mummy almost drained me each and everytime we go into a long conversation.

It has been one roller coaster ride for me since Friday. Everything doesn't seem right since then. Nothing anyone says make sense, nothing i do is right, nothing i do makes me feel right again. it is call spiraling. i need to get out of this before it hurts someone. someone told me i am escaping. running away from doing the things i need to do instead of solving the problem.

time to find a new hobby... like gym!! i will definitely sign up for a gym soon. i need to face it head on.

Dear God, give me the strength i need.

suddenly, i crave solitude more than anything. i wanna be invisible.

how pretentious this world is. i totally subscribe to the theory that behind everyone's face they show to public, there is a hidden secret. not so much of a secret secret. but a hidden frustration, a hidden side that they don't want other to know. it could be due to things they are ashamed of and it could also be things that they don't wanna explain, don't wanna be judged or criticized.

all pented up. one day it will burst. there is simply that much we can handle.

i received my first sealed with a crest envelope today.



My friend's wedding! My first friend's wedding!! haha.. i would love to show everyone wad is inside but because she has not distribute her cards yet so i have to be discreet! anyway, i realised now my cards already all say 'leona and nicholas', next time will be it mr and mrs tan. no more leona?? haha



I realised laziness is really my biggest downfall! i decided to really seriously, properly do research and properly start packing my room and do planning.

this weekend has been hectic. we were going for gatherings, helping out and simply just out alot and slept very little. don't get me wrong, we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly, just that if every weekend is like that, we will be super pre-occupied with everyone's matters other than our own stuff. and after a long day still must come back and listen to my mother blab and blab and blab. haik....

Psalm 46:1-3

1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging

Psalm 46:10

10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth

This helps in situations like this. =) I can smile again despite the mess i am in

life had been pretty hectic for me lately. I'm usually tired and lazy at the end of the day. I have tons of work to do when i reach home, one thick book to read and videos to make. But i'm tired each time i come home that i simply don't feel like doing anything.

when is daylight coming to me? i am in 24/7 nightfall.

wedding planning is not as fun as i thought it will be. haha! so many choices. can i have like 10 weddings with 10 different places and themes. but i only want one husband. please let me fix the date first!!

i want a wedding like that in singapore! don't tell me i can only get it if i go overseas

and it's the new spring menu at Sushi tei! Finally!!



Something new that the boy tried:


and the real thing looks similar to the picture. i really that that baby sardine thing taste like our silver fish.


And we tried this! it's really huge. now i know they never cheat in dragon roll!


haha! all the sushi tei language coming out. haha.. seriously , i thought i was sick of sushi tei already. but apparently, i still love it. not to the extend one week eat 2,3 times. but i will definitely go back soon.

i'm getting really excited about how things are going to turn out. I need all the prayers!

i just came back from Batam from my team's monthly meeting. we have been wanting to go overseas for a meeting the longest time. like change the environment and at the same time a retreat and team bonding. as long as i remember, we have been talking about it for 2 years and never once did it. but now finally, we did it!! haha


Batam- the land of Ayam Penyet!


the view from our balcony


了了 and my pedicure. pretty!!


the clear blue sea!


the game that entertained us till 2am plus batam time, which is 3am in singapore time. Topple is the game


giant mug root beer! only @ a & w


=)

I am home alone for tonight and tues night. It is daddy's birthday tmr and so my mum decided to do a sweet short holiday to Genting with him from tonight and will be back on wed.

i love having the house to myself in the day, that is if i am even at home in the day, with my super hectic schedule lately. but i don't like having the house to myself at night. it's not that i m afriad or anything, cos i know i don't have to fear. i guess being an only child always craves to have people around. and being alone is way bottom of my list. thankfully, i am going for a company meeting trip to batam. we have always said we wanna have a quarterly retreat and we finally did it! so at least one night i don't have to be alone. my colleague jokingly asked, next time nic reservice how? i thinking, come back to 娘家? provided mummy allows. haha!

i have not pack, have not done my household chores. i should be packing and all. i think wake up earlier tmr to pack or something. i will catch up on some drama. since i have been so busy the past week

i am seriously considering about hiring a part time pa or secretary. when i am so busy running around with appointments and seminars, this and that, i still have to go handle paper work, minor details, i am so tired! so much trips up and down for small matters when i could have used them for more important stuff.

i m so tired!!!!!

this is all so scary. it's a do or die kind of thing. =(

this weekend was almost close to perfect. everything turned out according to my wishes and i thank God for that. when i have a good time, i eat more than normal, we had frog leg, dim sum, steak, fried chicken, mcspicy, japanese curry rice. haha... we had a little of all of these in just mere 2 days. Luckily for us, we did run a little on saturday morning but don't think it made up for all the food we ate. i know it when i saw the weighing machine just now! hee

and we ended off this weekend sinfully with:




his favourite tiramisu from Haagen-Dazs


as much as you annoy me half the time, we had the best of our times for the past 6 years and i look forward to spending the next 60 years and more with you, my love.

recently, it got me thinking, it will be nice if the boy gets a job overseas and we were to relocate. it will be a time when we have true independence, away from the buzz of our parents and i think that is where we will learn alot more stuff as a couple and as individuals. hmmm.. just a thought.

i'm amazed with how fast bus 12 takes e in the morning from my place to katong or at night from katong back to my place. on sunday mornings wherever i thought i will be late for church, the bus surprisingly gets me to church in 30 mins, sometimes lesser. and on nights where i am so tired, yet the bus is able to get me back in 30 mins or less as well.

BUT... other timings, bus 12 seemed to be SO MUCH SLOWER. like afternoons, it take me 45 mins or more to reach that area and evenings are worse but the stretch on east coast road will be so jam. the bus does not move!

had a relatively good day today. nice meet up with old friend. looking forward to more of such meet ups. =)

i was told i shouldn't keep asking for more. i hate myself for not being able to give myself more. on days like these, i feel so useless. nothing accomplished, nothing to be proud of, nothing to call my own.

i want more but i don't have the right to ask for more. unless i get it myself.

i love weekends when we have the car. makes going anywhere so much more convenient. the weekend that just passed has been great. we have been swamping ourselves with activities and now that bsf have started, we have more work to do during the weekends. yet, despite times like these, i am so thankful we still manage to squeeze quality time out for each other.

had a lovely dinner last night with my aunt and uncle. of course the fact that we went sushi tei @ I12 katong makes me even happier. think i am collecting points so much faster now. it's amazing how my boy could talk and converse with my relatives so much better than with my parents. times like these make me feel i actually have the best of both worlds. totally made my night.

sleep is not on our side lately. we are so easily tired. =/ wanted to catch up abit on our devotion and bsf homwork tgt but we end up taking a nap so long it became dinner time.

i can't wait for 2014.....

Happy Valentines Day, everyone!

i dun have any special vday plans to begin with. thought we will just go for a movie and simple dinner but then we were summoned back to church for youth alpha meeting so we decided to just have a simple dinner at I12 Katong, sushi tei of course. for those who knows, i have an ulterior motive for going there. haha

my vday gift this year is a huge mango. i came back and immediately, this was the conversation i had with daddy.

daddy: eh? where are your flowers?
me: huh? what flowers?
daddy: never get flowers this year?
me: (smiling proudly) i got a huge mango!!!

seriously, my parents thought it was very strange for me not to receive flowers. hello? do they even know nic? my boy is practical like anything and giving me mango cos i like to eat is much more practical than flowers. though i hate the fact that my mum thinks he got me already, like after propose, then no more flowers.

ahhaa... but i love mango!!! but one daisy or sunflower wouldn't hurt. i love sunflowers since secondary school. ask any of my girls! haha

i understand that valentines day is just a day with marked up prices by restaurants, florists and any other vendors who try to use it as a day to earn more money.

however, vday has very significant meaning to me and this can be traced from all the way in my sec. school Back in IJ days, vday is a widely cenebrated day. girls give a stalk of flower, chocolates or sweets and everyone is sure to get something back that day. i love celebrating vday with girlfriends. it adds to the fun and laughter or it all. now that i have the boy, vday becomes a day that we would spend tgt.

practical as he is, vday makes him irritated. the crowd, the marked up prices. he lost the mood to celebrate and among all our special days, vday kills his mood more than anything else. haha!

hmmm... now, maybe there is a way to make February special? and make him hate it less? hmmm....

i m burning my brain out today. fever up to a whopping 37.6 degree. made the boy so angry. cos i didn't know how to take care of myself according him...

haha... well.. he chose to accept the full package didn't he. haha!! hope he doesn't read this

everyone, please meet me for dinners at sushi tei for the whole month of feb!!!! =) in I12 only!!! haha!

It has been a busy and fulfilling weekend for me starting on Friday. And it was on Friday that my shopping spree started as well.

Went to LG with mixed feelings. I was happy to be able to share the good news of my engagement yet at the same time, i know i will be hearing more about the sudden news of one couple moving to Canada. They are close mentors for the boy and I and we had learn alot over the last 1.5 years from them. It saddens us to see them leave but we know in all God's good provisions, this is the best decision for them to make.

Youth Alpha finally started with a loud bang i might say! We have 10 over participants, not counting those who dropped by to visit. I do hope these people can continue coming.



And Alpha's food is always so AWESOME! This is only week 1!



So after my Friday shopping spree @ mphosis, i bought another bag from Charles and Keith. I was almost tempted to buy something from Mango. Everywhere is having sales!



And finally, introducing my new friend after rubee....

I was quite upset when my very old NEC died on me. It has served me since Poly year 1 which was when i realised i need a laptop to do all my projects and all. Or maybe that was an excuse for me to ask my parents to buy me one. But God's timing is perfect. Gave me a timely bonus to spend on this laptop. Oh well, some monies that have to be spent cannot be avoided.

And it's mphosis day today!!! I chanced upon mphosis having sales today and i couldn't resist. I always liked their clothes but it always cannot fit me nicely somehow and i am not so willing to pay their price sometimes.

Anyway, i decided to wear and carry all the things i bought today!! =)