Cheers to more than half the ordeal survived and i'm still mentally sane. Cheers to 3 down, 2 to go. Cheers to the end and what awaits after it.

sometimes, trust is not a very easy to thing to do. cos u get disappointed after you trust. maybe that one person doesn't care as much as you do. otherwise, why the disappointment. the promise never came... oh well.. i'm glad i know now.

on a scale of 0 (IT idiot) to 10 (IT Geek), i would say i am a 2? so how the hell am i supposed to memorise the terms and technologies, understand them, put them in my storage system up there and vomit them up in the cold and freezing expo tmr!

and tmr is a race against time.. with less than 24 hours to prepare for the next paper on wed morning as early as 10, i'm so so so screwed. bye bye sleeping beauty and hello to panda. i can't wait for fri!! and sat!!!! and ultimately the 27th!! the most AWAITED DAY... 1300 is the time. the Alleluia time!

i'm tired... grouchy and going bonkers. but i'm still reading that textbook of mine. luckily for more.. i would have macs for breakfast tmr.. on the courtesy of someone special! though not a fan of macs, but it definitely has the power of cheering me up.

i'm sure the absence will make the heart fonder. times have changed but the hearts haven't. situations are different now but the people haven't. maybe they would, but it's equally likely, maybe they wouldn't. I've learn yet another life's most valuable lesson. we fall, we cry, we pick ourselves up and learn. who say we won't fall back on the same spot yet again, but that doesn't stop us from picking ourselves up and learn. everything happens for a reason and nothing will be wasted or go in vain.

i'm in love with strawberries. maybe it's red? but i especiailly love my strawberry moisturiser!! smells yummy and nice!! good foood plus strawberry smell makes me happy. i'm that easily contented at time actually. and if u guys notice.. my preference changes all the time. it's all about how updated u are with me.. i'm always in a phase of things!! it's like the classic example.. what's my favourite colour? of course... i'm sure i'm still loved by everyone who knows me despite of who i am.

this is going to be a very very packed week. of isolation and of mugging and of deprivation. till the next time i blog then

disappointment swept me in waves. one hit after another. never relenting on me. i feel so drained and tired already. but the race is only halfway through..

没有你的每一天 (徐婕兒)

回家的路總是很遠 話少得很可憐
一個人的晚餐 都是孤單的滋味
看見身邊重复上演 屬於我們的畫面
選擇逃避的眼 怎麼還是會流淚

愛著你的每一天 你就是我的世界
那時候還以為 我就愛這一遍
没有你的每一天 快樂離我好遙遠
心已隨你走了 還能用什麼感覺

我捨不得睜開眼睛 害怕身邊没有你
也許在夢境裡 是我們最近的距離
想念你温熱的手心 冷風裡把我握緊
當冬天又來臨 這温度該怎麼延續

謝謝你曾經愛過我 給我最美的經過
但生命最愛被剝奪 未來的路該怎麼走

there are good days just like today and very bad days as recent as yesterdays. i'm lost.... is there more to aniticpate? or should i be prepared for the worst.

i don't like how stagnant it can get

and evelyn.. it's really us that are not fated to eat wings or drumlets. i ordered that day tgt with pizza.. it came almost immediately.. although there are alot of pple in the restaurant.

there are many things in this world that we cannot anticipate. what answers will he give us or what will she think if i do certain things. i find this very intimidating but that's the nature of life.

things are getting frosty. and i'm getting tired. no more anticipation, no more expectations. not everyone can afford to have expectations of others. it's hurting in ways we never know hurts.

i've been stuck in this for a very very long time. either i gave up looking for the exit or i dun wanna exit. i dunno which is it. where am i?

on a nicer thing to note.... studying has been more productive this week thus far as compared to the many weeks before. KEPP UP THE GOOD WORK, LEONA. haha.. =)

i just send my fav girl/nightly addiction/motivator/entertainer off to china. shanghai is taking away all pple from me than necessary! how am i going to survive every night for 3 months? i might just end up sleeping early? my nights are going to be sooo boring! the ten packs of milo won't last 3 months!! =( =( =(

plus, i even accidentally lost the msg. OH GOSH!! i m such a mess ALREADY!!!! =( =(

how many times have this happen? how many times have i felt like this after the argument? how many times i tried to avoid but simply couldn't stand it and retort? I'm really tired. I hate myself for being weak sometimes. I should be able to prove something. i should be able to strive harder to make my mark, to prove something.

but who am i proving it to. i dun think happiness comes after proving and all. where's the happiness den. this shouldn't happen all the time, during the crucial time of my life. why are things made difficult for me.

i must be very weak. i'm so sick of u. of me. of all these.

caviar plus vodka and then durian after a while then B&J ice cream after that. i know, what a combination right.

mummy is right. we do know how to enjoy life.

I chanced upon this photography website today and as much as I wanted to show you guys a few pictures from it, i couldn't copy and paste them.

Something the photographer mentioned in his website caught my attention somehow. That he hopes the photos inspire us to love and think about falling in love. I always think that falling in love is not a difficult thing. What's something to cherish and precious is more of finding someone you love who loves you back. And after you find that someone, it's even harder to maintain a relationship, to balance it and to live with this person for the rest of your life. So if you have found the one, cherish and treasure, give and take is ok... and even if you haven't found the one, continue searching cos love finds you.

"For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live."

Wedding vows are the most touching words and most beautiful words to hear and to say. People should always take them serious and in times of troubles or doubts, we should always remember we have vowed to support our partners for life and this is a promise we made to him/her and to God.

Weddings are so beautiful.. not that i'm craving for mine. just that, i would really liek to start a career somehow along that line. hmmmm.

http://rebirthphotography.com/?load=flash

what do we eat on a rainy day and when u are feeling lazy, yet have no wish to cook or go downstairs and buy food?

we have steamboat! and that's how we spent Good Friday before the boy goes for duty tmr.

haven't been studying real hard, and i'm thinking when i can really focus and drive away all the distracting thoughts. something is amiss, but i can't figure out what is.

the closest i can get to peanut butter chocolate.

have been snacking alot these days and this has not happened since a very long time. the exams are getting into me. i get frustrated over the smallest things. vexed and irritated..... grrrrrr

not looking forward to the rest of April.

so dejected, so rejected, so unaccepted and so unworthy of sympathy..... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

there are days i felt truly intoxicated, enough to forget what's important and enough to avoid as much as possible before i have to face reality. however, there are also days when the harshness of it all really gets to me. i know i can't expect cherry days all the time. but i don't know how to deal with all of these...

my self proclaimed holiday has come to an end.... i'm in a v v v bad state now.

First and foremost, i'm really sorry to make your eyes suffer due to poor quality of my pictures. i know my usual camera is not that fantastic to begin with but these are much worse. reason being they are taken by my phone. i know i need to change phone. i need and want lots of things and all of which require money. mum went taiwan so i lend her my camera, which she came back and tell me she never use. tsk. anyway, i'm sure you guys are really concerned about how nic's birthday celebration went. here it is.

if u can actually read, it's actually the "poem" for the month on my monthly calender. so apt. toking abt cakes.

i did a table setting for him... with "candle". couldn't use real candles cos u guys know my house already very hot, so i had to make do with fake ones.

does he look very pale in this pic? or issit the camera. no pictures on the food, my bad. he was sick on his birthday and didn't really recover until this morning actually. nice tiramisu cake, for kids he sae.. cos no alcohol taste in it. anyway, he couldn't even eat much of his fav. that shows how sick he is.

so it's a birthday well spent. though he's sick and all but at least we created more memories together.

Lately, i've been giving some thoughts how to build up on my assets. my liabilities i know, daily expenses being all of it plus occassional spurlge but i got no income coming in for me to spend like this. the only way i can go about spending is to build up on my assets first, this way, my assets can earn money for me which i can then spend. hmmmm.......

Do you know that there's going to be a Monopoly Competition coming soon in Singapore? 4-5 April. As quite a big fan of Monopoly, i'm kinda quite excited about it. but i'm all alone in this enthusiasm. So it's hard to feel like joining, with no one who can accompany you to do so. Oh well, i still think it's quite exciting.

My mum left the house around 5 plus this morning so by the time i wake up, she's gone, suddenly the house seemed quieter and i do miss having a presence at home. maybe not the voicem is the presence. and coming home to a quiet house knowing she wun come back at 10pm.. it's quite freaky. hmm.. maybe i'm not tt ready to move out of myself after all.. i'm not too sure.

it's a tiring day. anyway... i was thinking do i sound like i m complaining abt my bf all the time... or grumbling abt him? don't get me wrong know, he's great. he's cute, he's silly. he's my bf. haha.. just that i think if i go all gooey or lovey dovey on my blog abt stuff we do or he said... u guys wouldn't want to read right... i hate reading such blogs.. like tooo sweet. so i try not to do it. but dun think my bf is mistreating me, k. for the most part of it no la.. but he's nice la. in a blokish way. haha

i m tired!

the weather is reallt killing me. i know some people will think, no biggie, cos they might not sleep in aircon daily. but for me.. i'm very used to it already. further more, i am someone who prefer being frozen to death than having the heat get the better of me. so with ushc hot weather and plus those who come my house should know how hot it is. without aircon.. i m really dying! =/

finally finished my cfp module 3 exam. after studying for quite some time until i feel so saturated yet i still left the room after the paper feeling quite shitty as well. no girl gets lucky twice in a row right? well.... what surprises me is when i came out of the room, the boy is THERE already. must be come out very early. we got posted to different rooms u see... Choo and Tan. before he left me in my room, he was like choo la choo! haha

no brunch after that but we did get to go Vivo. and tt's like after a v v v long time since i last went. i'm pretty sure it's been more than a year.

i love spending time with him. but seriously.... he's soo irritating! he loves smacking my face.. can u guys believe it!?? will u ever treat ur gf like that~!!! qing qu he calls it. let me give him some credit, k? being a blokish guy all of u guys noe.. he can be really sweet sometime. totally unexpected and he himself dun even noe it's sweet. curious curious? ask me... =)

so now back to exams business. determines my graduation. mummy is going on a holiday tmr. to taiwan for 5 days. finally, she's getting some life. i'm happy for her. i need some getting used to coming back home to empty house... but i noe once i get used to it.. she would b back.

and thanks jie for mob tv. haha!! i m so enjoying!

gosh, i'm being punished for some things i did in the past year or whatever. the hottest period of singapore and my air con is broken down! mum dun seem to have the intension to fix it and i'm feeling hot and sweaty in my own house! no air no air!!!!!!!

sent yan off.... finally left the few of us from xcyflawx (i forgot the one added with yan) in singapore. exams are drawing nearer, i need more strength and determination. i need to focus, deprive myself of life and totally focus.

baby's birthday coming... 100000 things not done!!!!

boon. i'm touched, u left comments on the first 3 entries! ahahhaa.... =)

still recovering from my wounds, though it's painful and not that i don't wanna qing cao you, it's more of cing cao you is painful and if i put den go to bed, sure stain the bedsheets!!! =( not sure if i can run tmr, but of course, not an excuse. although although...... i might have stretched a muscle.... hahaha.. excuses.

i'm trying to blog more often here.. but putting effort into my baby too.. hey friends... do go there... give comments, k? it's effort.. dun be too judgemental! ahahhaa..