the day has finally arrived. and no, i did not go send him off. baby say it's too early for me and so asked me to sleep more. he just gave me a call this morning and all. tt's pretty about it. and since i'm still in my sleep.... i don't really recall exactly what we conversed. it's been less than half a day and i'm already missing him.

the past 2 weeks has gone by with only one purpose. everyday, we just want to spend more time together. no matter what we do, it's always together. until the last part, things got a little blurred. until last night.... i wasn't even thinking straight. not a proper goodbye i guess. hahaha... but tt's not important, i'll await his return. it's just 2 weeks.

now tt baby has finally gone army. it's time to plan my life and organise it. maybe i should start with my room. i m craving for some girlie times too. is everyone very busy out there?? no time for gatherings??? hmmmm.... date me date me date me leh!!!!

gotta go, get ready to go out lunch with xin

it's monday... that means 4 more days before my boy has to go in. and 3 more days to say bye to his hair. haha.. it's not going to make much of a difference to me. but i noe he already misses it badly. we spent quality time together, with every minute counts but then there were the many plans that we did not do, like ecp.... mustafa. ahhaaa.. okok.. all these are only my plans.. but still. i just wanna spend time meaningfully. but nonetheless, for the past one week or so, we kept eating goood foood. going broke soon.

anyway, i'm glad it's sunshine after the rain once again and rainbow could be seen. i'm just glad it's all over and out behind us. after all, i dun wanna be gloomy for the last week that we get to spend together. these times should be happy times ain't it. just hope we do understand where each other is coming from and try to fix it somehow. of course i want things to work out but it takes two hands to clap. one alone strength is never enough. okok.. enough of such stuff.. everything should start anew. =)

i love you, i really do. please make life easier when i'm tired and i need someone to depend on. i'll do likewise for you.

want to change blogskins.. but cannot find nice one leh.... maybe i will spend one whole day looking for one tt i really like. i hav all the time in the world after friday. girls out there.. date me out pleaseee.. =)

sometimes when i hear them discuss it the way they did, i feel quite disturbed. i don't know if somewhere out there, i was being discussed that way as well.

sometimes when i thought we were in it together, then i was wrong.

sometimes when i don't understand you, i feel it strains the both of us.

i guess only time can tell

our day at kushin bo.

he did this....

my boy and his new guitar. can it actually be seen clearly? it's blue and white. cool.... i actually have a video of how much he can play now, but i dun think he wants me to upload it. haha.. it's actually in my room, part of my property. next time anyone pay me a visit... or come my hse, feel free to play it. just dun spoil it! he will be angryy.. >(

haha... a update of bears i have now. a family of four. the last two are actually much smaller, maybe palm size but really cute. the last two came a little unexpected and on-the-spot. we just buy and go. haha

why no one leave me any tags??? no one reads about my blog or concerned about me anymore!???

okok.. life has been peaceful. hmmm.. hard to say it is peaceful when i have someone practising his guitar right beside me in my enclosed bedroom. haha.. note: i'm not saying his playing is noisy or sucky..... REALLY I AM NOT EVEN BEING SACARSTIC. i enjoy this little moment when i do my stuff and he practise right beside me and i cen reach over for a small kiss or hug. *blissful smile*

so little update here and there: my boy bought his guitar already. maybe i will upload a picture of it soon. since it's going to be permanantly in my room. with the amps and all.. and dear amelia.. amps means AMPLIFIER!!!! ahahhaa... it's something all electric guitar needs!! haha.. dun ever ask us wad's amps again ok!

life has been peaceful, blissful and fattening!! we do nothing but eat and laze around!! ahahha... but we'll be hitting the town soon. buy stuff.. shop... maybe go around eating good foood before he goes in. hmmm.. mabe i will really be bored after he goes in cos all my friends will be working or schooling but then.. i noe how to make my life happening. i think. i will try.

okok.. i got nothing much to sae.. maybe i will load some pictures sooon! if i take them la... hahaha

after reading two books consecutively about running away from enemies, dodging people who wants to kill you, hiding and all, i think if ever one fine day, somebody were to hunt me down, or has intention of killing me, i can make a pretty good escape and wild goose chase for those people! the last part of the book always draws me totally into it, when conspiracies are out and truths are known. and it just gets more and more tense with every minute. sometimes i think to myself, the world of the law can be so boring yet interesting. i should have stick to my dream when i was younger and pursue to be a lawyer. oh well, i guess those thick books and notes to memorise totally put me off. then again, lawyers in singapore isn't tt great anyway right?

sitting in the office all day long, with absolutely nothing to do made me think alot. like random thoughts here and there. who can blame me, i am bored ok. and i dun even dare to take my storybook out to read. i scared it appeared too what. furthermore, today is my last day, better leave good impression while i can. i mean i m already blogging or surfing and it's qutie bad. so i wouldn't want to go to the extend to actually take a book out to read. anyway, like i said, i've been doing some random thinking which lead me to nowhere. i've too much concerns and worries i guessed. but then again, maybe i should just let God lead me to where he thinks i should be and let him settle all those concerns and worries for me. I know God will do a better job than me.

what kind of a person do i come across to people? i wonder..... have i been significant in people's lives? will i be forgotten easily? i think and think as the time pass slowly. it's only early in the morning and i am already bored! last day can pass so darn slow. i m looking forward to tonight's dinner already! yummmy.....

It's the first week of the day and I'm not suffering mega blues like last week so I deemed that as a good sign. and it's all because my contract ends on 27th June, only 3 days away! Yes, cheer for me everyone. Cheer cheer cheer! Yes, I'm bored at work, and really excited about Wednesday coming. After I stop work, I'll try to blog everyday. Make it more updated for those loyal readers out there. Yes you, I'm talking about you!

Oh ya, before I go on typing nonsense since I'm so bored, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR DEAR ANGEL! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DEAR DEAR XIN XIN! Ahhahaa.. I know xin won't read it. So never mind, angel, this is for you!!! Lots of hugs for you!!! Love you love you love you!

So, I'm going to end work soon but then I realised I don’t have time to meet up with everyone. sorry evelyn, think I'll visit you, together with sam after I quit. Even after I quit, I think I will miss golden shoe's food terribly. Seriously, I will. I am already craving for their fishmeat beehoon, that nice chicken rice stall tt I haven't try and nasi lemak!!!

Look at the many exclamation marks and u can tell I m not even suffering any blues. Mainly due to the fact tt I'm looking forward to the lunch I'm going to have later as well as the dinner celebration on later. So long never see all of us gather together. =) plus one new member.

Happiness is simple yet true. It's all around, waiting for us to feel it and to appreciate it and for us to recognise it. If you never try to forget all those daily troubles, never try casting all the frowns away, you'll never be able to find happiness. I treasure this happiness that I have. Cos it's so simple, pure, yet true. With my friends loving me and with parents around. And basically being alive with good health. Wad more do I dare ask for. I was being greedy all the time. Never acknowledging happiness and refusing it. But right now, I just want to put everything one side and feel happy! It's really tt simple! Hahaha…. =)

Okok….. I just want to share this happiness with everyone I noe. Love you all! MUACKS!

attitude is the most important thing i need to bear in mind. today's a good day... cos we are one month away from our 1.5 yrs. and today's a good day.. cos i said so

i've learnt something important today.

to love someone, you don't have to be with that person. keeping the person in the heart is enough.

"Would You Be Happier"

Woo

Did you ever wonder where the story ends, and how it all began,
I do (I do, I do, I do, I do)
Did you ever dream you were the movie star with popcorn in your hand,
I did (I did, I did, I did)
Do you ever think you're someone else inside,
when no one understands you are (you are)
And wanna disappear inside a dream but never wanna wake, wake uuuuuup
Then you stumble on tomorrow, and trip over today

[Chorus]
Would you be happier if you were someone together
Would the sun shine brighter if you played a bigger part
Would you be wonderful if it wasn't for the weather
You're gonna be just fine (gonna be just fine)

Are you not afraid to tell your story now,
when everyone is done it's too late (too late, too late)
Was everything you've ever said or done not the way you planned,
mistaaaake
So you promised that tomorrow, be different than today

[Chorus]
Would you be happier if you were someone together
Would the sun shine brighter if you played a bigger part
Would you be wonderful if it wasn't for the weather
You're gonna be just fine
I think you're gonna be just fine
You're gonna be just fine
So don't worry baby

You're racing for tomorrow, not finished with today

Would you be happier if you were someone together
Would the sun shine brighter if you played a bigger part
Would you be wonderful if it wasn't for the weather
I think you're gonna be just fine

Would we be happier if we were someone together
Would the sun shine brighter if we played a bigger part
Would we be wonderful if it wasn't for the weather
I think we're gonna be just fine
I think you're gonna be just fine

Don't worry baby
Gonna be just fine
Don't worry honey
Gonna be just fine
Don't worry baby
Gonna be just fiiiiine

Today is Monday and boy, am I feeling so freaking blue. Yes… this is equivalent to being in a bad mood. The don't feel like doing anything except sulking mood, the just wanna sleep in and watch tv mood, the wanna slack and let my ass grow bigger than it already is mood. YUCK! This sucks! Monday's the hardest to get over. Everything just shucks!! I hate this world, for making me work on Monday. This is madness!

And yes, I'm in a bad mood and I wonder how long it will last. Nothing to do in the office is not helping this foul screwed up mood of mine. I just wanna stay home and read my book, is it that hard? Hate Mondays, I hate Mondays. Then again, I was taught how to look on the bright side of things. Like luckily, no class tonight or else my mood will turn from blue to black.

And finally finally… I FEEL FAT!! YUCKS! Those ugly hips and thighs of mine…. Yes yes, the is result and punishment for being a glutton the past 2 weeks or more. ARGGGG!!! Having serious Monday blues and seeing a fat ass and thigh doesn't help !! =( SOBSSSS. I m a sad sad girl. I wanna scream, I wanna tear something, throw some stuff and suck out all the fats in me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just wan to sleep more……. Sobs. I hate Mondays. Seriously.

It's been such a long time since I blog and since I'm getting more and more efficient at work,, doing things faster and faster, giving myself so much free time, I've decided I'm going to blog in the office. It's pretty daring, since it's like morning and I'm sure everyone is rushing their work. Maybe if I blog in the evening not so bad, big boss gone and everyone relax, with music around. =)

Life has been pretty carefree after my night classes stop. I get to meet tt full of shit boy of mine like almost everyday. Sometimes I feel, life can be that simple and contented. Why bother to think so far ahead and worry all that might or might not happen? Why not just enjoy this moment. Everyone is happy at this moment and everyone is contented. Why not let it stay this way and stop causing trouble for people and for myself and just stay happy.

Seriously, I wish I could do it. I can, I'm almost there. But this stupid bug call insecurity keeps biting my heart. It's not things that people do, it's me. (what's new) when things go so well, I'm afraid it might end. When I'm happy, I worry this happiness is false and that it will end soon too. This bug is stopping me from seeking happiness beyond. I'm happy now but somehow I feel I can go further. I can be so much happier with I throw my worries one side. This is wad I seek.

Somehow, going to church and on every Sunday, I feel I'm closer to this real happiness I seek. It's a feeling beyond description but I know I truly cast everything aside and accept this happiness into me. I hope this is a good sign because I hope to keep this feeling there not only on Sundays but it can be spread over to everyday of the week. Haha.. but Monday can never be good. With Monday blues, nothing is going to make me happy and motivate.

I love that boy of mine and when he misunderstands or misinterprets me, I get real upset and hurt. Feels that he don’t understand. But God gave him to me to teach me how to love. You love someone not only when that person is sweet loving, mild tempered, reasonable and all. When you love someone, you love the person even when he is in a bad temper, no longer the sweet and loving person, when that person is ugly, ill mannered, you still love that person. You don't walk out on the person when that person is in distress and irritating everyone around him including you. That shows you cannot face this trauma with him, to leave him alone and all. That's wad makes love so beautiful. When a person's down, he feels most insecure during tt period of time, to walk out on him is the last thing you do to someone u claim to love.

I've got lots to learn but I'm willing to, for the one I love.

i m so freaking going to fail my paper... but i m darn scared. seriously.. it sucks man.. and i noe it's all my darn fault... i hate it i hate it.. and i hate waiting for results, knowing i will fail. i hate it !!!!!! and whining to people doesn't help..... cos i am still going to fail!!!! i seriously hate this feeling. YUCKS!