bon voyage dear amelia.... have a safe trip. will be looking out for news... just in case.

parta at little india.... steamboat at night and a nice game of chocopoly.... if only i have hot cocoa to go with... life will be perfecctt...

a beautiful monday, clouded with a rainy scene. heavy rain a moment and then gone. cold weather and i'm only drapped in teeshirt and shorts. good weather i would say, but i dun like the heavy rain part. got caught in the rain a little since this morning and due to extreme tiredness, i just went ahead to sleep.

caught deja vu last night. the show's pretty decent. but being in the holiday mood and season, dun really wan a show that requires much thinking. and furthermore, not at night. we wanted a late night movie.. but the latest we can get is 930 at night... and only lasted 2 hours. so after the movie, we went to macs and sat through out and talk cock. nice feeling, decent company. reached home around 6 plus in the morning. result is no gym cos simply cannot go with such a worn out body and not enough sleep.

and why not enough sleeep? unlike my boy who has the whole day to sleep. met my frens this afternoon and headed to ikea. first time to tampines ikea. nice place.. but everytime without fail whenever i go ikea, i've got an urge to want to design my own house. want to buy new house. ikea is sooo cooool lah. nv fail to amaze me with their stuff. i wannna buy stuff for my dream house. i wanna design my dream house!!! haha.. after which, we headed back to my house. totally tired.

but it's nice to hang out with my friends. =)

the day i'm waiting for has finally arrived!! it's the holidays... a seasonal holidays! must plan a nice holiday ahead... time for work and time for play. i think after the new year... it will be mostly work. so i only have 2 weeks for fun!!! =) x'mas mood is really getting to me mans. jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way.

lalalalalalalalalala~~~ more parties please. i wanna party.... how come no one organises parties for me!!! why must always i organise!!! party party party. i've got lots to sae... but lazy to type....

r/s between people.. be it friendship or just interpersonal r/s can be som complicated sometimes.

whatever i'm doing now, i'm not enjoying the process. too much hiccups on the way and failed product. =/ wad a sleepy, cold wednesday. seriously, somehow my house seemed really cold on weds. i always have to wear jacket cos the living room seemed so cold. this is like a stark contrast from what people always sae about my hse. but brrrrrrrr.......... am really cold.

quite excited about cruise but didn't get to go in the end. of all probs i anticipate... like no money.. mum dun allow, no vacancies.. but it has to be expiry date of passport. ok.. think if amelia reads it, she will most probably feel as dui as i am. so i shall cut the sad story short.

looking ahad, i m rather anticipating x'mas coming. when i was young, x'mas didn;t matter so much. i dun remember really partying or celebrating. it's just a 25 dec and a day where mum buys present for me. that's where all my monopoly sets come from by the way. but as i grow up, x'mas had a meaning to me. x'mas was a sad day to me. i didn't like x'mas. i hated it. i blamed this particular festive day that makes me weep. i hate the memories attached to them. and all the lightings doesn't cheer me up. couples on the street didn't make my mood better either. all in all, i hated x'mas. ok.. i was being subjective. up till this year, x'mas meant something to me. i no longer shunned x'mas. i no longer weep on x'mas. i no longer feel down on x'mas anymore. and in fact, i'm really looking forward to it. to the extend, i'm even alowing myself to go church this x'mas. suddenly had the mood to go. i have so many things to be thankful for. that i ve dedicated x'mas for church. =)

the coldness is really getting to me. really want to go grad ball.. but dun think can get enough people.. =/

never knew starch is so difficult to make.

star awards is definitely something not to be missed. so entertaining.. so funny at certain parts.. got pretty girls to ooogle at. michelle chia is drop dead gorgeous!!! woaaah.... !!! hahaha.... i've been smiling at the tv since 6??? and where is the person i watched star awards since... i dun remember since when.. but it's been so long. and on this day.. 2006, she decided to give it a miss. 'm gg to die of excitement level. okok.... only she ever understands the thrill and laughter we share for star awards. so to many many people out there, or ratjer majority.. i'm crazy. but u understand right.. YOU!!! YOU YOU YOU!

yes yes, i'm high. ask me why.. i dunno. maybe cos i slept at only 7am this morning? i would ve been higher if money was at stake during the mj game. won... had 2 sessions. one on sat afternoon, which i won. and another session after 12 midnight, i won too!! lalala.... my boy and i won. i'm so surprised he won. seriously... he was like giving out money in the beginning. haha. but we won. and den again... if we really used money.. might not win.

life can be so fulfilling and happy at times. i wish i will remain like tt for a long time.. or at least till the year ends. i want to be in good mood till 2006 ends. 2006 has been beautiful. i still ve frens which i kept for so long.. and not intending to let go anyway. i have my boy... =) i have everything and everyone that i ought to be thankful for. it's really important to know how to be blessed and thankful. with that in mind, life can be so beautiful!

xmas is coming.. and i'm already in the moood. i wanna PARTTYYY!!! PARTTYYYY!!!!! i wan to sing, dance and enjoy myself!!!! LALALA

things can be so difficult at times. sometimes, it's within my reach, and at other times, it seem so far away. i don't know what i want. in terms of darkness and light, i feel that i've seen more darkness than light. i'm just a confused soul who thinks she knows what she wants. den at the end fo the day, with everything that she got, she still end up unsatisfied. then i ask again. what exactly do i want.

to digress about how shitty i feel right now... i wannn xmas songs!!! i wan to feel the xmas atmosphere. but i dun have much xmas songs. wanna fill a bit of these songs into my mp3.. to get the mood. holidays are drawing near.. and let me emphasise again.. my holidays are on !8!!! which is one and a half week more... no dates till den. and please.. make my holidays meaningful. i dun wanna spend the last of 2006.. thinking how pathetic or how dark i've became. maybe i need a stranger.. someone whom i can trust enough to tok.. but not close enough to reveal my tots to others.

amelia.... ur cruise is tempting.. but ur kl.. nono.. 18 to 21 right??? i hv a party on 20 or 21 leh.

i wan a fruitful holidays... a meaningful one. wish i could go for some self-discovery camp all over again. i'm sure i will find back the thing or the light i want.

ok... i'm confirm unfriendly if both my best buds say so. grrr.... why!!! i always thought i'm friendly and warm.. no??? no!!??? no!!??? unfriendly not sumone one yan meh!!??? HUH!!!!

i'm still sick. went to the gym this morning. almost died. panting and panting.. my breath cannot catch up. even the instructor could tell i wasn't feeling well. but i'm glad at least i sweat it out.

anyway.. my ever dearest cousin is back from australia!!!! she said she was coming back on the 4th! but she came back on thurs night. lalalala.... and she bought me a pretty handbag. =) MUACKSSS!!!

things are going on fine. except my stupid flu. this auntie on the train today so bad. i coughed and she actually shield herself by using newspaper.. den when i coughed again, she took her newspaper and fan herself. haiya.. i noe la. i dun like people to cough on the train... now i noe how it feels. =/

down with the flu.... and it is so irritating. i can't breathe through my nose. i feel so lethargic. mild headache. feeling hot a moment and cold the next. and of course, the irritating cough and phelgm. i should think this is how it spells. but whatever it is, everything spells SICK!!!!! and i hate it.

chanced upon few blogs today. interesting.. sometimes i wonder what it takes for a person to become more friendly. this issue has been bugging me for a while.. now.. frens, brothers and sisters out there.. answer me!! am i unfriendly?? i dun think so... but maybe... i dun always take initiative.. tt's my problem

okok.... blogging this already makes me tired. nose still blocked.. =/ urggggggggg

as i looked at you today, realisations hit me. i do noe how to be happy after all. u are part of my happiness. not the expected you but you. all i have to do is trust in you. i should trust in you. tok about building walls around me... even though i might ve break them.. i am still preventing things from even happening. i m predicting and trying to avoid. when things have not even happened. so i need to learn to trust. we're still young. if some things should happen for one reason or another... let it be. cos i believe i fell for who you are and no point changing who i fell for in the first place. i need to learn to trust again. i need to learn to love again. and like what i always tell mummy.. love is beautiful and something to be given... and not expecting any in return. tt's what love should be. and i should stick to my believe.

i hope i will be a happier person. cos to me.. nothing stumbles me more than anything but this. i learnt how to climb back up on my feet. i need to take a step ahead. =)

i m feeling lighter already.

Daniel Bedingfield "If You're Not The One"

If you're not the one
Then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one
Then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine
Then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine
Would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away
But I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you
Then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you
Then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me
Then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me
Then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it
I don't understand
If I'm not made for you
Then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong
That it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart
And pray for the strength to stand today
Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it
I don't understandIf I'm not made for you
Then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms

ANGEL DARLING... READ THIS CLEAR AND LOUD IF U WANT TO. YOU ARE ALWAYS WANTED. BE IT WHETHER U BECOME FAT, POOR AND VE TO EAT ALONE IN THE FUTURE.... U ARE ALWAYS WANTED. BY ME BY US!!!!!

haha... so forget tt silly dream! silly.. it's really a silly dream. i m not angry with u. why should i? i where got dun wan u. haha... but wierd ar. why am i the bad guy in ur dreams!! i know!! it must be the opposite. i'm such a good guy in real life. =) anyway... really forget it. no worries, k. i m always here.. and will nv tok to u in tt manner. tt's crazy. hahaha....

why do i always shun? i know the answer and know it too well. it's inferiority. what i question my heart is am i always like that? have i always been like that? or is it what or who i became tt made me feel inferior. once again... i dun like who i see in the mirror today.

i can be so immature at times, seriously. my heart's always flying, never settled. therefore, the way i deal with things can be so immature. now, i have anotehr question.. what is strength and how do i gain it? i guess everyone at some points of their life will always question themselves? like how meaningful are we leading our life. right at this prime age, or how i would like to call it, i always doubt and question myself. i always want this, expect that.. maybe people are right. my expectations are too high. expectations tend to be lowered as we grow older and more mature. apparently, i m not at that age yet and far from it. maybe i wouldn't call it expectations? but i would call it my whims and fancy. i always want to get wad i want. and i must get it. tt's immature, isn't it?

so this sums up upon the fact tt i m inferior and immature?

on a lighter note... i regretted not doing wad i wanted to do today.. maybe it's not too late now? hmmm.. but i m soo lazy.

okok... a random entry. am in one of my thoughtful mode.

what's with the intensity mans. with the dating without the blog's owner and all.... and amelia.. i didn't distort any facts to angel. i spoke truth.. merely truth. haha...

hey.. anyone tried gv gold class before? it's 25 bucks.. per ticket. tt's a little ex. wanted to catch the prestige at vivo city. yes.. i finally went there. but the show's only on with gold class. no normal seating. i think this kidna money is alright to spend if there's a occasion or wad. but on a normal monday? no way.... but i would love to try it out.. heard it's totally cool with only 2 person.

so yes... finally to vivo. i noe why everyone thinks the third lvl is nice and all. i like the view best. but it makes me feel liek going sentosa more. and evelyn, there's URS at vivo.. happen to see it. as i was walking ard vivo.. i keep saying.. hey.. they have this.. eh.. they have that.. oooh.. they have this and that. lol... and he keep saying of cos.. it's soo big.. they should ve everything. haha... sumone please correct me but is vivo the biggest shopping mall in singapore?

made a promise to myself. will eat sushi tei next mth!

went to catch The Guardian today. usually, i would not watch such show but because ashton kutcher is part of the cast so i thought i will give it a shot. anyway.. the show's great. i'm touched by the U.S coast guard. their job, their role and i think they are so honourable. it's such a goot show. salute to them. =)

the rain definitely has something against me today. i wanted to go vivo today after my sushi buffet. and yes.. two buffets in 2 days. like wad amelia sae.. can sae hello to the fats i burn away. so after my buffet.. when i was about to leave cine.. ir rained.. super heavy. i was a little disappointed because finally he agreed to go vivo with me. so relunctantly.. we decided to catch a show in cine. so just after i bought my tickets at 5th level and coming down... i noticed the rain stopped. what the.. after which, we made our way to taka to walk around and grab something sweet. when it's around the time of our movie, we wanted to walk our way back to cine.. and lo and behold, it was raining very heavily. had to run in the rain... got me quite wet. and den when we finalyl made our way to cine.. gg up the escalator.. i realised the rain stopped. hmmmmm...

there's something that i noticed which i think is interesting. in this month, whenever nic and i go to some restaurant to eat, there will always be a lady, quite plum in size, sitting near our table, eating alone. the first time it happened, it was at country mana. that lady was reading a comic book. the romance one summore. i was jokingly telling nic if he ever dumps me, i will become so fat and become a loner and eat alone. okok.. joke. but on monday, we went changing appetites to eat, we saw anotehr lady... eating a meal of seafood and oysters alone. seafood... i love seafood. i joked abt it... and TODAY!!! when i go eat buffet.. and sushi buffet... theres this lady sitting behind us alone!! eating alone!!!!! now.. tell me this is not a sign... signs are all i believed in.. and these signs are calling out to me mans.

even after i shower.. there's a smell that lingers. it's a smell of combination of me and u.... =)

i had a really good day. i just want things to start afresh.... didn't expect it to end up tt way. but well... i m glad it's sunshine again

Classic Halter Dress

Classy and sexy, you know how to make a lasting impression without having an outrageous dress.

What's Your Prom Style?

definitely halter...

You are a Buff Girl!

You've got a boomin' body and a fearless spirit. Most guys have trouble keeping up with your energy and fitness level. Competitve and fun loving, you're up for almost anything. Make sure you pick a guy who doesn't mind getting beaten by a girl!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

Your Life is Like

Better Off Dead...

What John Cusack Movie Are You?

great....

haven't been very happy lately. i dunno where my unhappiness comes from. all i noe is i sleep without a smile... i forgot my dreams when i wake up, i wake up knowing i'm back with all the problems. i dun like to run away. but i dunno where to start solving from. i feel so lost. without a sense of direction. i become tired easily... i become dissatisfied with alot of things, i become irritated easily. memories of the past got evoked. how i disliked them. how i really dun like them. the way they behave. the way they treat girls like shit. how they take it for granted. but those were really how i felt in the past.. and now, i feel the same again.

it's so difficult being happy. maybe... my only source of happiness is to be with my friends. at least... we dun hide our feelings from each other. it's happy from within..

oh well.... random entry.

what must a woman do to keep her man? to capture her man's heart? capture the stomach? use tears? use stickiness? use hard work? get rid of all her rivals? haha... i cannot think of better answers to it.. but none of the things i can think of will ever be the answer.

tt's because.. i don't know how i can capture my man's heart or how i want to do it. i m like that. take it or leave it. i used to think changing into who i am is the solution.. changing into someone tt the other party likes... is the answer.. but it's not. so i ve decided not to do anything. to be myself. there may be people who dun like me. but.. i still want to be me.

2 more days... one harddd day.... and one more fiday and i will be free. i seriously cannot wait.