why do we fall?
'cos we got to learn how to pick ourselves up

classic line but it moved me greatly.

i'm intoxicated. didn't know lilies smell so good. indulging myself in the sweetness of friendship, coffee and freedom. the feeling of control and being in charge is running in my blood now. and it never tasted better.

before today, lost myself in a mist. didn't noe any purpose, didn't noe wad i represented. didn't noe anything at all. felt so lost. but now i noe. i noe wad makes me happy, i noe how to make myself contented and i intend to let myself savour this sweetness for as long as possible. to make my way out of this maze makes me learn yet another thing about myself. it's amazing. yes, i'm on cloud nine.

to those who love me for who i am, to see beyond all my weakness, not judging me and yet still love me. to see the leona that even i thought was lost, i really appreciate it. u guys deserve nothing less than my love and laughter... and i truly thank you guys for sticking around. =)

lillies reall smell so great. smells like happiness.

i'm saturated. 4 hours of concentration. 4 hours of organ theory straight. fiery sparks were flying across at the end of this 4 hours. nonetheless, i'm not as prepared as i want to be.

have not been sleeping early these days and it shows. =/

my enthusiasm died as surprisingly fast as it began. i was just sitting there and suddenly, i'm wondering why am i even here in the first place. something that i used to ridicule at 5 years ago in secondary school, yet i'm in it today. gosh.

how could i forget that i'm impatient as it is. it's not the game that i despise or the people. it's the fact that there's no way it can keep me sitted thrice, twice or even once a week. it's just not me to do such thing. dun get me wrong. i like the game but defintiely not as a hobby. i'm not a quiet person who thinks of how to plan, attack or defend.

ya, those who have forseen it coming, go ahead and congratulate urself. u guys know me even better than i do myself. anyway, it's an experience, am glad i learn something at least.

to digress, once again, reality hit me hard. my life is not as glam as it may seem after all. as much as i wanna think of myself that way, reality sinks deep in. i guess, the goal in my life has been planned ever since the day i learnt of the harsh reality that we call-- life.

when things go wrong, everyone would want a fresh new sheet of paper to begin with. having a brand new beginning.

every problem has its root. deal with it.

a resolution is resolved to nothing if whatever tt's said ends up unaccomplished. it's simply empty talk.

i wun avoid it anymore.

made a fundamental mistake today. wanted to buy garlic but i can't tell the diff between garlic and onion. so in the end, i bought onion instead. i only found out it was onion when i start cutting it, and my eyes teared very badly. u're not supposed to tear when u cut garlic. so i figured it was onion.

no wonder my hand doesn't stink tt much now. hee

i dare to proclaim, i'm not someone who ticks off easily.

but what you did really pissed the living hell out of me especially when i saw it glistening in her eyes.

fuck~

my feelings for the past few days went into a emotional turmoil of a roller coaster. i've experienced extreme loneliness waiting for loved ones to return. I've discovered feelings that i never thought i had.

when i dun ask, it doesn't mean i dun care. i'm simply too proud to admit it.

behaved like a little housewife today, rushing home after buying grocery to cook for the one man i love in my life right now. thought i was late, but he was even later. till now, he's not yet home to eat the dinner i cooked for him. tried this the last time but it failed. but i'm not someone who dun learn from mistakes, so this time round, it's good! another feeling i've never experienced before today. cooking and waiting for someone returning home to eat. it feels good.

i only want to learn of good feelings. maybe the word family still means alot to me. how much... i think i roughly know already.

nothing very great that i wanna point out about school. if i have to admit, it hasn't been good at all. oh well, i'm just too sick of it to bother anymore.

when u step on a lion's tail, be prepared. u may need to duck for safety.
when u hurt a lion's pride or ego, revenge comes in all types of form.
remember that a lion never forgets a grudge... mind my words.

three freaking bastards irritated me today. if u guys out there think women are weak, you need more education because obviously, you don't know what are u setting ur feet on.

dun wish to say anymore and spoil the nice feeling tt i'm currently experiencing. hope he likes wad i cooked. =)

just came home from the airport. went there to send my dear angel off. wanted her to help me buy perfume form duty free.. but forgot to pass her money.. girl, jia you wor. u'll be missed! woke up to an empty house this morning.. can't seem to put into words feelings that i felt.

after the trip to ariport and seeing what i saw, can't help feeling a little sad. for others and for myself as well. ya, where was the " no self pity" rule.. and it didn't help that i came home to an empty house as well. well, nothing unusual happened but seeing the attitude of some people really makes me feel sad. and when i reflect upon myself, i didn't feel any better.

i don't know why i did what i did. it was the most stupid thing anyone could have done and i've made this mistake not once, not twice, it became countless yet i fell for it this time again. what was i expecting or waiting... all assumptions are yet again wrong and somethings just refused to stay where they were supposed to be. they chose to worsen my day when it is already very bad, casuing this great sense of emptiness i felt.

just like the house, a metaphor. tt's exactly how i feel right now.

You need security.
There has been many changes in your life and
you have had to live in an unstable
environment. This has lead you to be suspicious
and always on guard. Your mind has a hard time
to unwind and this could lead to you having
sleeping problems, since you think too much.
People are a category you don't give much trust
at, and find yourself to be a better secret
keeper than they could ever be. Because in your
changing world you have learnt that you only
have yourself in all times.

What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a Princess, accustomed to only the
best. Elegant and poised, you believe in High
Standards, and like your standards to be met.
You are gracious and kind, to those you find
deserving; but woe betide anyone who does not
meet your standards, you would dismiss them
with a casual wave of your hand. Not only do
you set high standards for others, you set them
for yourself also, and sometimes find yourself
struggling to meet them. Most of your life you
have gained what you wanted, probably an only
or youngest child, you put you first. However,
saying that, you are not entirely
self-centred,it's simply you've learnt to put
yourself first. When moved, you are capable of
empathy and kindness, and would willingly do
your best to help others; but your life so far
has taught you, that you must come first. You
are also well learned.

At your best, you are
kind, gracious, noble and focused; at your
worst you are selfish, dismissive and stubborn.
If you don't agree with something, you would
nod your head graciously, and refuse to be
swayed.

You are special, and everyone should
know that.


Are you a Princess, Enchantress, Faerie, Mermaid or Toad? (with pictures!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Your wise quote is: "Our greatest glory is not
in never falling, but in rising everytime we
fall" by Confucius.
Yes indeed, you see true strenght can only be
seen when a person has "fallen". Only
then one can tell how they will handle it. Just
don't make others fall so you can know who they
really are. You on the other hand may be a very
quick recoverer and don't let people bring you
down. You are your own, and you're find with
that. Emotional issues is something you handle
rather nicely.

What wise quote fits you?(pics) UPDATED
brought to you by Quizilla

here's to dal and eve(if you girls get to read this):

movie on wed? mr and mrs smith. really want to watch that. den dinner. kaes?

my fondue 

our dinner- chicken sandwich and clam chowder 

leona's special salad 

had a nice, cosy, homey day with yan and chin today. we cooked, we ate, we talked and had lotsa fun at my house. shall let the pictures do the talking.

somehow feel that this blog doesn't suit me. it's nice. but doesn't suit my mood now leh. no offenses angel dear... =)

thanks so much dearie. love u lots. you saved my life. and by the way, must give u spanking. my blk is 365! how could u forget. ahaha, but anyway, thanks so so much. i'll give the blog u made 8/10. =)

just finished doing your blog darling.. hope you like it..
spend alot of time looking for the skin.. very scared u don't like lehh.. if don't like tell me kaes?? i change for you =)
hehe..dont like really must say kaes?? hehe.
lalala... think you sleeping now.. oinks.
sleep tite!!! and goodnite!!
angel was here~

ps: you never tell ppl what blk.. hehe.. blk 653!!

there's something wrong with my blog. this skin is for temporary. if u see tagboard out of place. wait a few minutes for it to load properly.

i did my first major grocery shopping for the family today and spent a total of $50.25. mummy haven't see the bill yet and i seriously wonder what she would say. she only gave me 100 bucks for the month and within second day into the month, i spent half of my family's grocery money. oh no, this goes to show ar, next time, my partner cannot give me very little for the family grocery, won't last. haha~

i didn't buy everything for myself only, k.. if tt's wad u guys out there are thinking. i got buy lotsa things for the FAMILY. it was a total of 5 big bags but i managed to carry all of them out of the shopping centre. am very proud of myself. =) *pats on the shoulder*

had mushroom soup and salad for dinner. i made my salad very pretty. wanted to take a picture of it one, cos dal wld definitely sae i shld take a picture of it if it's really so pretty, but my digi cam ran out of battery. wad a coincidence. so only i can admire my own salad. daddy saw it too though.

am a happy girl tonight. made my own dinner and did the grocery so all those bugging issues and problems, i hope to leave them to tmr. anyway, just a little note: am making fondue tmr. anyone interested? please drop by tampines st. 34. hahaha~