sweet and innocence portrayed.. versus....
Monday, February 20, 2006
a long long day i had. woke up 745 in the morning to go for my weekly jog. didn't run as much as i did the week before. =/ didn't feel really good when i came home after the jog. had to rest for quite some time before i could stand up and get ready to go out. was supposed to meet angel, chin, boon and xin at 10. at somerset. i left the house only at 9:35 or so... surprisingly, i reached town at 10:20 or so? and the only people there waiting are angel and chin. it's a curse. every singing session, someone is bound to oversleep and this time, it happens to be my dear girlfriend. lol.
when boon finally came, we headed to party world... sang while waiting for xin to come and when she did.. we had a blasting time!!! i have pictures to prove my point. life feel so great with xcyflawx around. no joke about that. u guys made my day.. and everytime again and again, i thank god for having u guys as my friends. love u guys alot alot alot!!! HUGS!!! we sang, we screamed, we danced, we joked. it was a really goood time. time passes so fast with them... =)
good time have to come to an end.. after lunch.. i had to leave. at first, wanted to study in town. but i figure town would be pretty packed today. even if i could get a seat at some coffee place, they are bound to chase me out as i'm obstructing them in making business by just sitting there and study. so i'm left with two options, tampines and simei. and tampines definitely out too. cos likewise, i think it would be super crowded too. so i went simei starbucks to study. he came to join me. studied.. ate dinner. and continued study... i bet today is the only day that i actually studied so much. time's running out. i noe it.. and the panic's not up yet... i'm not fretting or stressed yet and this is not a goood sign. grrr.. i noe i will just freak on tues. so here's a warning.. do not come near me on tues... i would be just like a time bomb.. ready to explode anytime.
anyway. it was a pretty goood day... i love days when xcyflawx can all meet up. it would be goood if yan can join us.. with xcyflawx and suspense.. woaaah.. but yan's not as brave as me.. hahahaha.. =)
i'm all smiles. life would be greater if there are no exams coming up.... but yea.. life's never perfect. =)
to eve: your testimonial came as a surprise and u've no idea what a big smile it brought to my face!! and i mean biiig smile!!!! thanks... hope u've been studying hard.. i'm so so lacking of motivation mans..
when boon finally came, we headed to party world... sang while waiting for xin to come and when she did.. we had a blasting time!!! i have pictures to prove my point. life feel so great with xcyflawx around. no joke about that. u guys made my day.. and everytime again and again, i thank god for having u guys as my friends. love u guys alot alot alot!!! HUGS!!! we sang, we screamed, we danced, we joked. it was a really goood time. time passes so fast with them... =)
good time have to come to an end.. after lunch.. i had to leave. at first, wanted to study in town. but i figure town would be pretty packed today. even if i could get a seat at some coffee place, they are bound to chase me out as i'm obstructing them in making business by just sitting there and study. so i'm left with two options, tampines and simei. and tampines definitely out too. cos likewise, i think it would be super crowded too. so i went simei starbucks to study. he came to join me. studied.. ate dinner. and continued study... i bet today is the only day that i actually studied so much. time's running out. i noe it.. and the panic's not up yet... i'm not fretting or stressed yet and this is not a goood sign. grrr.. i noe i will just freak on tues. so here's a warning.. do not come near me on tues... i would be just like a time bomb.. ready to explode anytime.
anyway. it was a pretty goood day... i love days when xcyflawx can all meet up. it would be goood if yan can join us.. with xcyflawx and suspense.. woaaah.. but yan's not as brave as me.. hahahaha.. =)
i'm all smiles. life would be greater if there are no exams coming up.... but yea.. life's never perfect. =)
to eve: your testimonial came as a surprise and u've no idea what a big smile it brought to my face!! and i mean biiig smile!!!! thanks... hope u've been studying hard.. i'm so so lacking of motivation mans..
Thursday, February 16, 2006
| You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish |
| You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be. |
How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howboyishorgirlishareyouquiz/">How Boyish or Girlish Are You?
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
finally bathed and can sit in front of the computer and blogged. i know inquisitive people out there (you guys knw who you are) wants to read more about my valentine's day. no details.. just feelings and brief summary. =)
a really nice day spent. immersed with love from my friends and him. it's just a sweet day. simple and sweet. =) even till now, í'm still smiling. can't help it when the sunflowers sit right in front of my laptop now. beautiful flowers... love it.
catched casanova at century square today. tok about crowded... the cinema including the 2 of us only got wad... 8 people?? or less.. i cannot remember. nice show i would say. i liked the setting of the show. it's in venice and i liked the story line too. i hope you'll like it as well. it's the first time we watched a movie that requires u to think a little more?
after the movie.. went to city hall to meet angel and joel. didn't know joel was coming until the last minute. we sat at pacific coffee for quite some time just chit chat all the way. angel made a gift for me tt i love alot. it takes effort la and seriously, i think it's really really sweet. den joel made this laminated thing for me which i think i soo sweet too... i'm dying of sugar. too much. luckily, angel used salt for her giftand not sugar. lol. yan came to join us for a while.. glad to be able to catch up a little with her. it's been so long since we toked about other things besides test and projects. sorry dear that i made u quite bored. while dissolving in the sweetness of friends and busy catching up... i made u bored yea? hope u didn't mind. =)
yan had to leave and so did joel. we parted and then me and him went esplanade. was too bloated after 2 cups of coffee that i didn't feel like eating dinenr. had a goood tok tonight. you never ever fail to make me feel good after every tok. time passes soo quickly when we are there everytime. by the time we knew it... it was ten. and we decided it's time to go home... tmr still got blaw make up lesson. =/ anyway... when i came home. i had 2 missed calls and 3 messages. didn't even hear them la.. lol.
thanks for everything today. though u claimed tt u didn't plan much or whatsoever, it just feels like a simple and sweet day. every minute spent feels goood just to be with u. and on top of that, thanks for sparing a few hours for my friends. it made my day even better to have met up with them. thanks for the gift. i really like it and i really hope u like wad i got for u as well. =) felt much better and more assured after toking to u tonight. thanks for always being understanding and always bearing with me. it has been a good day spent.
my first proper valentine's day spent and celebrated. feels goood. leona's a happy girl. =)
a really nice day spent. immersed with love from my friends and him. it's just a sweet day. simple and sweet. =) even till now, í'm still smiling. can't help it when the sunflowers sit right in front of my laptop now. beautiful flowers... love it.
catched casanova at century square today. tok about crowded... the cinema including the 2 of us only got wad... 8 people?? or less.. i cannot remember. nice show i would say. i liked the setting of the show. it's in venice and i liked the story line too. i hope you'll like it as well. it's the first time we watched a movie that requires u to think a little more?
after the movie.. went to city hall to meet angel and joel. didn't know joel was coming until the last minute. we sat at pacific coffee for quite some time just chit chat all the way. angel made a gift for me tt i love alot. it takes effort la and seriously, i think it's really really sweet. den joel made this laminated thing for me which i think i soo sweet too... i'm dying of sugar. too much. luckily, angel used salt for her giftand not sugar. lol. yan came to join us for a while.. glad to be able to catch up a little with her. it's been so long since we toked about other things besides test and projects. sorry dear that i made u quite bored. while dissolving in the sweetness of friends and busy catching up... i made u bored yea? hope u didn't mind. =)
yan had to leave and so did joel. we parted and then me and him went esplanade. was too bloated after 2 cups of coffee that i didn't feel like eating dinenr. had a goood tok tonight. you never ever fail to make me feel good after every tok. time passes soo quickly when we are there everytime. by the time we knew it... it was ten. and we decided it's time to go home... tmr still got blaw make up lesson. =/ anyway... when i came home. i had 2 missed calls and 3 messages. didn't even hear them la.. lol.
thanks for everything today. though u claimed tt u didn't plan much or whatsoever, it just feels like a simple and sweet day. every minute spent feels goood just to be with u. and on top of that, thanks for sparing a few hours for my friends. it made my day even better to have met up with them. thanks for the gift. i really like it and i really hope u like wad i got for u as well. =) felt much better and more assured after toking to u tonight. thanks for always being understanding and always bearing with me. it has been a good day spent.
my first proper valentine's day spent and celebrated. feels goood. leona's a happy girl. =)
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
| You Have a Sanguine Temperament |
 You enjoy all of the great things life has to offer - food, friends, and fun.A great talker, you can keep the conversation going for hours.You are optimistic and sure of your success. If you fail, you don't worry about it too much. At your worst, you are vain. You are obsessed with your own attractiveness.A horrible flirt, you tend to jump into love affairs and relationship drama easily.You're very jealous - which just magnifies the craziness around you. |
http://www.blogthings.com/whattempermentareyouquiz/"> What Temperment Are You?
| Your Five Variable Love Profile |
 Your propensity for monogamy is low.You see love as a gift that you should give to many.It's hard for you to imagine being with one person at at time...Let alone one person for the rest of your life! Experience Level: Your experience level is high.You've loved, lost, and loved again.You have had a wide range of love experiences.And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is low.This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced.You know a relationship is not about getting your way.And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is medium.You'd like to believe in true and everlasting love...But you've definitely been burned enough to know better.You're still an optimist, but you also are a realist. Independence: Your independence is medium.In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time."You usually find it easy to be part of a couple.But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered. |
http://www.blogthings.com/thefivevariablelovetest/> The Five Variable Love Test
Monday, February 13, 2006
Westlife-- Fragile Heart
A fragile heart, was broken before
I don't think it could endure
Another pain
But there's a voice from deep inside
Of you
That's calling out to make you realise
That this new bond gives inspiration
To all who feel no love appeal no more
So how can I break this wall around you
That's aiding our hearts to grow in pain
So forget your past, and we can
Dream tomorrow Save our hearts for care and
Lovin too
It's hard I know, but oh one things
For sure
Don't go and break this fragile heart
A hurting mind in need of emotion
I don't think I could endure
Another pain
But baby in you, I've found affection
Affection I have never felt before
So don't let your past
Destroy what comes tomorrow
Don't go and break my fragile heart
With all this fire that burns
Between us
There's so much to lose, yet so much
More to gain
And if I could choose the world
Around me
The world to choose, would all
Revolve around you
So help me complete the game
Inside me
And help to mend my fragile heart
A fragile heart, was broken before
I don't think it could endure
Another pain
But there's a voice from deep inside
Of you
That's calling out to make you realise
That this new bond gives inspiration
To all who feel no love appeal no more
So how can I break this wall around you
That's aiding our hearts to grow in pain
So forget your past, and we can
Dream tomorrow Save our hearts for care and
Lovin too
It's hard I know, but oh one things
For sure
Don't go and break this fragile heart
A hurting mind in need of emotion
I don't think I could endure
Another pain
But baby in you, I've found affection
Affection I have never felt before
So don't let your past
Destroy what comes tomorrow
Don't go and break my fragile heart
With all this fire that burns
Between us
There's so much to lose, yet so much
More to gain
And if I could choose the world
Around me
The world to choose, would all
Revolve around you
So help me complete the game
Inside me
And help to mend my fragile heart
Sunday, February 12, 2006
the woman monthly affair:
causes me to be sleepy easily
to eat more than normal, especially chocolates
to have certain cravings
lol... now, why does it look like symptoms of a pregnant lady? my stomach hurts badly.. since day one... ouuuccchhhh.... i need to hug my pillow 24/7.
looking back, i always blame others if something goes wrong but now i realise, i could have done many things to improve it or make things better. the fault may very much lie in myself. however, when i try to learn from my mistakes and making sure nothing goes wrong this time round, making sure that i do better and even more, i'm still lacking in other areas. areas that i've ovelooked.
so is it me. is it me who's always lacking. never being able to do the best out of it all. i thought this would be different. it is... from another point of view.. but ultimately, it boils down to the same thing. it's a cylce. it really is. i thought... i thought... looks like my thoughts or my conclusions are always wrong. i'm never right.
i realise how easy it is to get into an argument. at least for me, it is. i just ve to keep it within control.
mummy is not making it easy for me. grrr... =/ i need a brain wash.... wash it all out. i'm so unworthy.
causes me to be sleepy easily
to eat more than normal, especially chocolates
to have certain cravings
lol... now, why does it look like symptoms of a pregnant lady? my stomach hurts badly.. since day one... ouuuccchhhh.... i need to hug my pillow 24/7.
looking back, i always blame others if something goes wrong but now i realise, i could have done many things to improve it or make things better. the fault may very much lie in myself. however, when i try to learn from my mistakes and making sure nothing goes wrong this time round, making sure that i do better and even more, i'm still lacking in other areas. areas that i've ovelooked.
so is it me. is it me who's always lacking. never being able to do the best out of it all. i thought this would be different. it is... from another point of view.. but ultimately, it boils down to the same thing. it's a cylce. it really is. i thought... i thought... looks like my thoughts or my conclusions are always wrong. i'm never right.
i realise how easy it is to get into an argument. at least for me, it is. i just ve to keep it within control.
mummy is not making it easy for me. grrr... =/ i need a brain wash.... wash it all out. i'm so unworthy.
The busy and most dreaded day is over-- 10 Feb. it's been such a long time since i last blogged but i reckon i better start keeping my loyal readers updated, right? you loyal ones out there?
projects have officially come to an end. now's it's all about mugging. in a way, i prefer mugging to doing projects. Yet, when i received the mail of my exams dates, my heart sank. =/
Mummy's birthday on friday. Bought her a necklace, went out for dinner with her. We ate at a place that i serioulsy don't think it's worth the price. if we're paying tt much, it's only worth the service cos the most basic thing, their food, kinda sux big time. went dinner with granma, ashley and family. my little ashley is growing cuter and cuter... how i adore her and i hope she loves me too!! i'm seeing her everyday on my wallpaper.. oooohhh..... =)
after the " sumptous " dinner... went to the headquarters for pizza night. oh gosh... can u belive it. all 3 of us took our dinner and yet, we still wanted to squeeze pizza into our tummy. i feel fat. stayed over, watched dvd.. our usual norm. feels goood. =) really goood but this would not be the norm for another year.. cos my dearest dearest president is going back to perth to finish her honours. sending her off next week. after 12 midnight. lol.... i must. or else.. hear not end. shhh... no one goes to tell her that... would hear another round of no ends too.
woke up early this morning to run. with the fact that i slept pretty late last night. about 4 am? was watching vcds. quite happy with my running progress. could run longer in the same period of time. and i take even shorter time to cool down. no more headaches and throwing up. this is a good sign. A good beginning to train up my determination and motivation. and this is 2 good ingredients to start mugging. =)
my little boy is faling sick and he refuses to admit it. =/ i'm going to see that he recovers... real soon
projects have officially come to an end. now's it's all about mugging. in a way, i prefer mugging to doing projects. Yet, when i received the mail of my exams dates, my heart sank. =/
Mummy's birthday on friday. Bought her a necklace, went out for dinner with her. We ate at a place that i serioulsy don't think it's worth the price. if we're paying tt much, it's only worth the service cos the most basic thing, their food, kinda sux big time. went dinner with granma, ashley and family. my little ashley is growing cuter and cuter... how i adore her and i hope she loves me too!! i'm seeing her everyday on my wallpaper.. oooohhh..... =)
after the " sumptous " dinner... went to the headquarters for pizza night. oh gosh... can u belive it. all 3 of us took our dinner and yet, we still wanted to squeeze pizza into our tummy. i feel fat. stayed over, watched dvd.. our usual norm. feels goood. =) really goood but this would not be the norm for another year.. cos my dearest dearest president is going back to perth to finish her honours. sending her off next week. after 12 midnight. lol.... i must. or else.. hear not end. shhh... no one goes to tell her that... would hear another round of no ends too.
woke up early this morning to run. with the fact that i slept pretty late last night. about 4 am? was watching vcds. quite happy with my running progress. could run longer in the same period of time. and i take even shorter time to cool down. no more headaches and throwing up. this is a good sign. A good beginning to train up my determination and motivation. and this is 2 good ingredients to start mugging. =)
my little boy is faling sick and he refuses to admit it. =/ i'm going to see that he recovers... real soon
| Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me" |
 Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking What turns you off: fighting and conflict Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love |
What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourcandyheartsayquiz/">What Does Your Candy Heart Say?
Sunday, February 05, 2006
| You Are Wind |
 You are best known for: your wrath Your dominant state: commanding |
What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whattypeofweatherareyouquiz/">What Type of Weather Are You?
| Your Love Life Secrets Are |
 You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt. It's important to you that your lover is very attractive. You like to have someone to show off. In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm. Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go. |
Your'>http://www.blogthings.com/yourlovelifesecretsrevealedquiz/">Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed
i dun reckon getting over that easily... hmmm
Thursday, February 02, 2006
wrath-You get mad very easily. Your temper is a big
turn off. That may leave people feeling
uncomfterable around you. You often snap at
people for no reasonjust because you're in an off or bad mood (I hate
that excuse). People probably like you but
find your anger issues annoying. You're a
very loud personand outspoken.You're most likley a fun person to be
around but people don't like you because of
your anger. Try toning it down...it's about
peace and love man...
What sin do you commit the most?(w/beautiful pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
i guess i have been procrastinating certain important issues. so a wake up call is important. one with impact. i mean i had wake up calls before this one... but none that caused an impact. i need a certain aspect of my life back. people keep telling me " i noe u can do it" ... but.... =/ i noe i can do it too... but.....
so when there's a but... i'm still not there yet.
it's time to get back on track. if i noe this gets me down.... i should put it back up. do things that will get me more driven. this is it. some time before the last lap.
i knoe i want this.
the only person i want to win is myself.
the only person i want to understand is myself.
the only person i want to see over the other side is a better me.
so when there's a but... i'm still not there yet.
it's time to get back on track. if i noe this gets me down.... i should put it back up. do things that will get me more driven. this is it. some time before the last lap.
i knoe i want this.
the only person i want to win is myself.
the only person i want to understand is myself.
the only person i want to see over the other side is a better me.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
had a nice long bath. long and warm and it feels really good after one whole day of mad rush.
woke up early tis morning at 8 to go for jogging. wanted to start the momentum of running and i aimed to run at least for half an hour. but to my own disappointment, i couldn't even make it for half an hour. around 20 minutes or so, i start to see black spots and i seriously felt like throwing up. luckily, i was jogging around my neighbourhood or else i would have problems coming home because i felt so weak that i needed to rest a while downstairs before i can make my way up home. when i reached home... my legs literally gave way. felt really horrible and all for only 20 minutes of run? gosh.. i'm seriously getting bad at this. dun like this feeling. grrr....
after my head stop spinning and i could actually stand up without blacking out... i've got to rush to tm to get my converse shoes. after which, i had to rush to bugis to meet chin. got my two dcp shirts. =) and then we had to rush to city hall and meet the rest. went to coffee club at marina. simply love that place. one of my all time favs! boon couldn't make it today due to some sore eye and flu. =( she promised to meet me next sat.. please be my witnesses, everyone. so it's down to 5 of us. chin, angel, yan, xin and me. we sat at coffee club for 4 hours before doing some shopping.. i got another handbag! so tempted to get tt black top. so tempted to get that white skirt.... money money money... is what i need. simply hate being so freaking broke.
my eye hurts right now... =/ hope it gets better tmr. i dun wanna go visiting with a red eye tmr. happy happy chinese new year everyone!!! =)
woke up early tis morning at 8 to go for jogging. wanted to start the momentum of running and i aimed to run at least for half an hour. but to my own disappointment, i couldn't even make it for half an hour. around 20 minutes or so, i start to see black spots and i seriously felt like throwing up. luckily, i was jogging around my neighbourhood or else i would have problems coming home because i felt so weak that i needed to rest a while downstairs before i can make my way up home. when i reached home... my legs literally gave way. felt really horrible and all for only 20 minutes of run? gosh.. i'm seriously getting bad at this. dun like this feeling. grrr....
after my head stop spinning and i could actually stand up without blacking out... i've got to rush to tm to get my converse shoes. after which, i had to rush to bugis to meet chin. got my two dcp shirts. =) and then we had to rush to city hall and meet the rest. went to coffee club at marina. simply love that place. one of my all time favs! boon couldn't make it today due to some sore eye and flu. =( she promised to meet me next sat.. please be my witnesses, everyone. so it's down to 5 of us. chin, angel, yan, xin and me. we sat at coffee club for 4 hours before doing some shopping.. i got another handbag! so tempted to get tt black top. so tempted to get that white skirt.... money money money... is what i need. simply hate being so freaking broke.
my eye hurts right now... =/ hope it gets better tmr. i dun wanna go visiting with a red eye tmr. happy happy chinese new year everyone!!! =)
Thursday, January 26, 2006
i finally know the truth and as much as i hate to admit, especially at this point in time already, it still hurts a little. the confirmation that i wanted to have is finally here. maybe this is a twist of fate. god is still kind to me as ever, letting me find out only after it started. i am a believer of signs so i should believe that this is not by chance but it's a even stronger sign for me to move on. nonetheless... it's time for me to let it go. it's been a while.. a long while. a long year in fact. many lesosns learnt, many people met and many feelings developed. i'm ready to move a step ahead and many many steps ahead i hope.
how should i put it. there are many explanations but they may seem only excuses to you. there are many things i want you to understand and know, but you might not listen or be interested. anything i say now seems pointless to you. facts are lying on the table. no matter what i say, facts are still facts. i don't dare to ask anything of you. i don't even know how to go about trying to explain cos whatever thing that comes out from my mouth all seem so pointless. i don't know what to do or what to say. the ball's in your hands now and i can only wait for you to understand. things hasn't been easy for me, especially knowing that my happiness comes in real difficult. and that my happiness is exchanged for many things i dun even want to think about. not good things apparently. knowing your pain and anger makes it difficult for me as well. u've got to believe me when i say i'm not feeling any less terrible than you when i noe that things might not be the same anymore. see what i mean when whatever thoughts i have still sound as much as excuses? i'm bad at this. this is just one of the worst situations that can come out of it. it's a strain... a overstretched rubber band.
time is what we need.
how should i put it. there are many explanations but they may seem only excuses to you. there are many things i want you to understand and know, but you might not listen or be interested. anything i say now seems pointless to you. facts are lying on the table. no matter what i say, facts are still facts. i don't dare to ask anything of you. i don't even know how to go about trying to explain cos whatever thing that comes out from my mouth all seem so pointless. i don't know what to do or what to say. the ball's in your hands now and i can only wait for you to understand. things hasn't been easy for me, especially knowing that my happiness comes in real difficult. and that my happiness is exchanged for many things i dun even want to think about. not good things apparently. knowing your pain and anger makes it difficult for me as well. u've got to believe me when i say i'm not feeling any less terrible than you when i noe that things might not be the same anymore. see what i mean when whatever thoughts i have still sound as much as excuses? i'm bad at this. this is just one of the worst situations that can come out of it. it's a strain... a overstretched rubber band.
time is what we need.
Monday, January 23, 2006
grow old with you
I wanna make you smile
whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All i wanna do is grow old with you
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice,
growing old with you
I'll miss you
I'll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
I'll need you
I'll feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you.
hahahas.. this is from me. surprise!!!
~angel
I wanna make you smile
whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All i wanna do is grow old with you
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice,
growing old with you
I'll miss you
I'll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
I'll need you
I'll feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you.
hahahas.. this is from me. surprise!!!
~angel
oh happy day
hahahahas.. dear all. guess who i am.... hahahhas.
erms. that was uncalled for.. this is angel lar spastic.
hahhas.. im so happy cuz finally can on the lights already... hahahas.. no need for tou ji mo gou anymore..
ok i volunteered to blog cuz i told her to blog something and then she was tired(but happy) so she gave me her password and everything then i came here and i realised i duno what to say.
dear amelia chow,
you must scold her k. cuz hor you said you want to be the first to noe rite.. then after that i am the second.. but then hor.. you noe who is the first to noe? it's the 'date'. scold her scold her.. you scold the date also can.. scold the date better.
hey.. hope you remain happy k.. and i'll be happy. If anything goes wrong you know i'll be here still k. Don't worry too much.. will be keeping you in my prayers. =)))))))))
readers beware: please don't get cheated by the "date" like i was cheated by it.
hahahahas.. dear all. guess who i am.... hahahhas.
erms. that was uncalled for.. this is angel lar spastic.
hahhas.. im so happy cuz finally can on the lights already... hahahas.. no need for tou ji mo gou anymore..
ok i volunteered to blog cuz i told her to blog something and then she was tired(but happy) so she gave me her password and everything then i came here and i realised i duno what to say.
dear amelia chow,
you must scold her k. cuz hor you said you want to be the first to noe rite.. then after that i am the second.. but then hor.. you noe who is the first to noe? it's the 'date'. scold her scold her.. you scold the date also can.. scold the date better.
hey.. hope you remain happy k.. and i'll be happy. If anything goes wrong you know i'll be here still k. Don't worry too much.. will be keeping you in my prayers. =)))))))))
readers beware: please don't get cheated by the "date" like i was cheated by it.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
it's a relatively beautiful sunday but my mood may not even match up to it. my mood's not very pretty at all.
i don't know how to communicate with you anymore. what is it that u want, i really don't understand. i can't blame u, can i? you don't know what i've been through. you assume i'm someone so raw that u've to go all out to "remind" me and "advice" me? to be fair, i did thught if all of your reminders and advices did come during those days, i might be thankful. i wouldn't have gone down so low during that time. but on the other hand, have u ever thought of letting me venture out first? if every step i take has to be with care and caution, then what would i learn? if there's no stumble or fall.. then what would i learn? i won't be able to pick myself up, isn't it? you've been sheltering me and shielding me all these while.. i am grateful but do you know cos of u doing these, when i fall, it hurts twice as much as other pple? cos i never learn how to fall... and when i do, it hurts alot. so much more than it should. so now... whose fault is it? yours? mine? both of us?
i'm already having slight difficulties dealing with people around me, people telling me these and that. it doesn't really help that u look so lowly of me. or u think i'm so unfeeling. that u wrongly assume me or that u accuse me. do i ve to explain it all to u? i'm tired as it is already.
i'm sorry for dragging you into my world. for all the complicated things that i'll dealing with in my head. i'm sorry for not being simpler and think lesser.... sorry.
i don't know how to communicate with you anymore. what is it that u want, i really don't understand. i can't blame u, can i? you don't know what i've been through. you assume i'm someone so raw that u've to go all out to "remind" me and "advice" me? to be fair, i did thught if all of your reminders and advices did come during those days, i might be thankful. i wouldn't have gone down so low during that time. but on the other hand, have u ever thought of letting me venture out first? if every step i take has to be with care and caution, then what would i learn? if there's no stumble or fall.. then what would i learn? i won't be able to pick myself up, isn't it? you've been sheltering me and shielding me all these while.. i am grateful but do you know cos of u doing these, when i fall, it hurts twice as much as other pple? cos i never learn how to fall... and when i do, it hurts alot. so much more than it should. so now... whose fault is it? yours? mine? both of us?
i'm already having slight difficulties dealing with people around me, people telling me these and that. it doesn't really help that u look so lowly of me. or u think i'm so unfeeling. that u wrongly assume me or that u accuse me. do i ve to explain it all to u? i'm tired as it is already.
i'm sorry for dragging you into my world. for all the complicated things that i'll dealing with in my head. i'm sorry for not being simpler and think lesser.... sorry.
Friday, January 20, 2006
UNTITLED -- Simple Plan
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded
By the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
But no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto
A time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading awayI'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded
By the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
But no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto
A time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading awayI'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
it just takes a fruitless shopping trip to get a girl's spirits down but talking to some angels really cheered me up in more ways than one. and u guys know who you are.
feeling very very broke now. okie, feeling is the wrong word. i AM officially broke.
mummy is nice today. she got me a levi's jeans... but it's not like i'm wearing jeans to go visiting for new year day one.. a definite no no. so it doesn't help tt i'm still frantically looking for a white skirt. once i have it.. the rest will not be a problem at all.... grrr.. where's all my time going to. why do i ve little sleep/rest and yet, not enough to accomplish what i want to accomplish. this is wierd. i ve no idea where i spend all my money and time this month....
anyway.... i will be fine. to those whom i caused to worry. i'm sorry... =) i will be okie.. give me some time to recover my energy and tt smile, k.
feeling very very broke now. okie, feeling is the wrong word. i AM officially broke.
mummy is nice today. she got me a levi's jeans... but it's not like i'm wearing jeans to go visiting for new year day one.. a definite no no. so it doesn't help tt i'm still frantically looking for a white skirt. once i have it.. the rest will not be a problem at all.... grrr.. where's all my time going to. why do i ve little sleep/rest and yet, not enough to accomplish what i want to accomplish. this is wierd. i ve no idea where i spend all my money and time this month....
anyway.... i will be fine. to those whom i caused to worry. i'm sorry... =) i will be okie.. give me some time to recover my energy and tt smile, k.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
like i've said before, i like fresh beginnings and fresh start to my week so i definitely won't bring a depressed and confused mind to the following week. and also, i don't want to let my darlings down... i got to keep tt smile and not forgetting... my " date". sorry.. i have to put the inverted commas.. i dun wan pple getting wrong idea. =) but i still love u.. so no worries.
have been carrying many doubts and uncertainties but i guess it's time to abandon them. everyone is telling me the same thing over and over again. i guess.. the need to protect myself is so strong tt i just build a natural barrier between myself and wad i am capable to get if i even step out of it. i've got to start thinking straight or maybe not even bother to think and just let my feelings flow. there are many buts... but i'm going to keep them at the back of my mind. i mean.. i conclude this is the only way to stay happy and as much as i want my darlings to be happy.. i must be happy first.. right?
thanks nu peng you, i'm really touched by what u sae to me today. and i'm reminded again how little i ve to explain to u.. before u noe what's going through my mind. u literally read me like a book. and thanks angel... for reminding me lotsa stuff. ur words struck many many bells in me. and i genuinely appreciate it. and of course.. thanks to my "date".... for making me smile... with that *ahem* pic of urs...
i need a slight change of lifestyle...
have been carrying many doubts and uncertainties but i guess it's time to abandon them. everyone is telling me the same thing over and over again. i guess.. the need to protect myself is so strong tt i just build a natural barrier between myself and wad i am capable to get if i even step out of it. i've got to start thinking straight or maybe not even bother to think and just let my feelings flow. there are many buts... but i'm going to keep them at the back of my mind. i mean.. i conclude this is the only way to stay happy and as much as i want my darlings to be happy.. i must be happy first.. right?
thanks nu peng you, i'm really touched by what u sae to me today. and i'm reminded again how little i ve to explain to u.. before u noe what's going through my mind. u literally read me like a book. and thanks angel... for reminding me lotsa stuff. ur words struck many many bells in me. and i genuinely appreciate it. and of course.. thanks to my "date".... for making me smile... with that *ahem* pic of urs...
i need a slight change of lifestyle...
Friday, January 13, 2006
this is very depressing. nothing is going right. everything seems so out of place. it just doesn't feel right. and pardon me, but i'm feeling freaking shitty right now... that nothing can cheer me up. i'm being dragged down to the deepest part of this depressing pit and this is just so wrong.
freak. everything single thing i hear is wrong. every single thing i say is wrong. every single thing i do is wrong. when is the sun gg to come out fro mthe right place...
i'm so damn irritated. with myself.... i noe wad's bothering the hell out of me and it's freaking sucky tt i cannot do anything about it.
grrr.. yuck
freak. everything single thing i hear is wrong. every single thing i say is wrong. every single thing i do is wrong. when is the sun gg to come out fro mthe right place...
i'm so damn irritated. with myself.... i noe wad's bothering the hell out of me and it's freaking sucky tt i cannot do anything about it.
grrr.. yuck
Sunday, January 08, 2006
some images cannot be wiped out. some memories still etached firmly to my memory. what do you know about all of these before those sweeping statements came out from your mouth. but it's okie. i'm not going to take in into heart.
it's yet another rainy day. feeling so lazy and letharigc. there's a ca tmr and i've yet to study. files are opened and textbook left on the table. all i have to do is reach out to them. and i'm feeling so so lazy. i just want to sleep in on this rainy day, curl up in bed with my comics. haven't been reading them in a long long while. room unpacked, books untouched. lappie's on and so is the tv.
it's been feeling great. but i feel that this is so much on the surface. maybe you're right, i do think too much. i would like to keep things the way they are now. i don't want to grow dependent like i used to be. and neither do i want to go off the line and do anything outrageous. but luckily for me, i ve my conservatism check point. maybe mum and amelia are right. better start turning around and back to my various check points.
it's yet another rainy day. feeling so lazy and letharigc. there's a ca tmr and i've yet to study. files are opened and textbook left on the table. all i have to do is reach out to them. and i'm feeling so so lazy. i just want to sleep in on this rainy day, curl up in bed with my comics. haven't been reading them in a long long while. room unpacked, books untouched. lappie's on and so is the tv.
it's been feeling great. but i feel that this is so much on the surface. maybe you're right, i do think too much. i would like to keep things the way they are now. i don't want to grow dependent like i used to be. and neither do i want to go off the line and do anything outrageous. but luckily for me, i ve my conservatism check point. maybe mum and amelia are right. better start turning around and back to my various check points.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Your elven name is Eruraviel,it means royal
maiden.You are graceful,lady-like and
respectful.You seem to have a certain noble and
kind personality.You are a born leader and even
if you are a little shy at first,you'll prove
exceptionale at calming people and coordonating
projects.You can be a bit bossy sometimes,but
you come quickly down-to-earth.Your friends
love you and respect you,you will be surprised
to find how many people are looking up to
you.You also have a certain weakness for money
or power so don't overdue things.The colors that suit you are blues and silver.The clothing type that suits you:flowing dresses.
What's your elven name and what does it mean?*Girls only**10 different results*
brought to you by Quizilla
| Reeses Peanut Butter Cups |
 |
What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofcandyareyouquiz/">What Kind of Candy Are You?
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
What'>http://www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/">What Are The Keys To Your Heart?
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
eve's nick seems pretty stuck in my head today. so near yet so far. i don't know how to describe this distance and this feeling.
my tummy has been churning for a few days already.. i wonder why..... is it the food i eat but how can it be that everything i eat seems so wrong? i want my strong tummy back.
my tummy has been churning for a few days already.. i wonder why..... is it the food i eat but how can it be that everything i eat seems so wrong? i want my strong tummy back.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
on the eve of new year, i deleted the messages.. slowly slowly, one by one. however, somewhere deep within me stopped me from deleting everything. i wonder why. is it because i couldn't bear to? or is it because i still want to keep memories of it. either way, i think at least, i'm taking a step ahead, aren't i? i do take long to recover... like a simile... my immune system is not that good after all. i take quite some time to recover, be it physically or emotionally. but nonetheless, i believe that i will do everything to make myself healthier and to strengthen up this immune system of mine.
i'm full of hope for this coming year ahead. had a blasting good time with my darlings yesterday with pictures to prove my point. same type of food as usual, popping of sparkling juice, cutting of the tiramisu and digging into the ice cream.. we ate alot alot alot. and i'm not kidding. i ate soo much for my first meal of the day that my stomach kinda ached after that. but i shall not go into details. we wrote our resolutions, dump it in a kimchi box.. wrapped it up.. sealed it and put in some dark place in the storeroom.. with the intention to read it next year and see how much we've fulfilled. =) i've 7 resolutions!!
went esplanade to watch fireworks after that. heard it's longer than the year before. very very pretty. stayed out till 8 plus this morning. not much as a hint of tiredness. just the gastric part acting up again. it felt terrible but didn't think much of it with you around. nice time spent and it gets even sweeter with your message this morning. how cute can you get.... but yes, i'm glad.
finally another step ahead. but it just gets more insecure and deeper into it. somewhere that might not be able to slip out so easily.
toast to year 2006.. happy new year everyone out there! toast to a healthier and happier me in 2006! =)
i'm full of hope for this coming year ahead. had a blasting good time with my darlings yesterday with pictures to prove my point. same type of food as usual, popping of sparkling juice, cutting of the tiramisu and digging into the ice cream.. we ate alot alot alot. and i'm not kidding. i ate soo much for my first meal of the day that my stomach kinda ached after that. but i shall not go into details. we wrote our resolutions, dump it in a kimchi box.. wrapped it up.. sealed it and put in some dark place in the storeroom.. with the intention to read it next year and see how much we've fulfilled. =) i've 7 resolutions!!
went esplanade to watch fireworks after that. heard it's longer than the year before. very very pretty. stayed out till 8 plus this morning. not much as a hint of tiredness. just the gastric part acting up again. it felt terrible but didn't think much of it with you around. nice time spent and it gets even sweeter with your message this morning. how cute can you get.... but yes, i'm glad.
finally another step ahead. but it just gets more insecure and deeper into it. somewhere that might not be able to slip out so easily.
toast to year 2006.. happy new year everyone out there! toast to a healthier and happier me in 2006! =)
Saturday, December 31, 2005
i want to blog before 2005 ends. i'm afriad i might not have time to do it later in the day or at night. so it would be good if i do it now. it's those time of the year thingy when u sit down and do some reflections and recall wad have u done this year. and i'm in the mood of that right now.
this year passed extremely fast for me. mybe like wad my cousins said, i deliberately kept myself very very busy in order for myself not to think of certain stuff. and maybe cos of tt, time passed extremely fast. but also because of that, i find myelf involving in more meaningful stuff. things that make me learn and grow. things that get me down but gives me big sense of satisfaction at the end of the day when i noe how to pick myself up from where i drop. life became satisfying and meaningful at the same time. it makes school more fun and another small reason why sch is fun is cos there are eye candies around.. right eve? i've learnt alot of things this year. and most importantly, i've learnt more about myself and wad i'm capable of.
which brings me to the next point. i've found more prominant traits on myself that i never knew existed. or maybe they did.. but just much more prominant this year. bad traits and good traits.. or maybe traits that are bad and good, depends on how u want to look at it. well, my new year resolution evey year is to be a better and more likeable person in the next year... lol... wonder if it ever comes true.
i miss my darlings alot. though i feel that this year, we met up more often than last year. however, the more i get of them.. the more i want. =) definitely got closer with them as compared to last year... last year is simply just soo pathetic and i may be the main cause if we drifted last year. luckily, we did not. gosh.. i simply love u guys soo much. u noe how much i thank god for having u guys as my frens. i always wonder if i cherish and appreciate u guys enough or not. but let me tell u guys this.. from the bottom of my heart... i wun be who i am without all of u. and i really really love u all. =) sorry that i couldn't go out with all of u this hols. have been quite busy and all. but rest assured, all of u are constantly on my mind. even u, chin! =)
to angel: thanks for everything this year. from being a regular visitor to my house to getting closer to me. let's keep this friendship strong, k. and continue being a regular visitor. u noe i'll be here for u always.. no matter what problems u may occur. can always come tok to me. no matter how busy i am, i'll still leave time for u. *hook finger*
to chin: no words an express how thankful i am to u for being my fren. with those late night calls. and morning accompaniments. thanks for clearing my doubts, for making me feel better. for always picking up my call even though it's past ur bedtime. thanks for bearing with my nonsense. u noe i have no intenton to be mean to u... and that ur interests are wad i care for most of all. thanks for always being there. to u... it's thanks and more thanks. i promise u more sakae next year. more buffets and we'll go search for the best and cheapest food together. =)
to boon: thanks for keeping me updated of ur life. u noe no matter how busy i am.. u are still on my mind. i'm concerend how have u been and all... and it makes me really happy when i noe u still care and upate me. anyway.. all the best with shou mei mei. be patient. i really hope this will work out for u. ur happiness is mine too. wad are gfs for. love ya
to xin: we definietely met more often this year as compared to last. thanks for giving us some of ur time and turning up at our functions, for us to noe wad's gg on in ur life. for us to see u even!thanks for always making me laugh when we are out and also letting me knoe tt u're always there for me.. like some kao shan.. i love u alot alot... but i cannot love u more than my nu peng. hopefully in the years to come... we can meet up more often. and where's my coffee with u...!!
to yan: one my my ALL-TIME favourite. last year.. u're the busy one. this year.. we noth are busy. time tt we spent with each other is getting lesser and lesser and i dun want tt to happen. den i wun have my yan to whine to. i wun have u to sob to. i wun have u to go drink with me. i wun have to nag at me. i really want tt. and i'm missing tt alot. promise u will be my fren always? i care for u alot. maybe more than u ever noe. ur happiness is also one of my main concern. so please do make urself happy.. and laso less busy.. so we can go out! we haven't shop together for a lonngggg time!!!
okie. so these are all my frens stuff. now.. to conclude things off, i should ve some new year resolutions but i cannot really think of a whole list now. maybe i'll do tt on the 1st. after i think of a whole proper list. maybe if i have time.. should change my blog skin. if i have time. =/
helping out with sb day stuff... alot of work on publication. actually half the time we're trying out things. try an error. new ideas, try, fail then think and try again. the cycle goes on. but i'm glad tt at least we've accomplished half of it all already. now eve is worrying about her stall, tix and prizes. trying to help as much as i can. or as much as she wants me to.
my darlings are coming over tmr. planning a little surprise for them. actually... it's no bg deal. but i want all of us to do it. so ya. =)
ur message everyday makes me smile. though it may be repetitve of things but still.. at least u bother. i had this logic... eye candies are meant to be seen and not to eat. so it took me quite a while to actually only sit back and enjoy the process but i'm glad i'm able to do it now. maybe i really think too much. life should be much simpler.
bye to 2005 and maybe everyone's 2006 be a good year!
lol... end of speech man.. oh boy... this is long.. and i'm lagging of taggers. where is everyone!!!
this year passed extremely fast for me. mybe like wad my cousins said, i deliberately kept myself very very busy in order for myself not to think of certain stuff. and maybe cos of tt, time passed extremely fast. but also because of that, i find myelf involving in more meaningful stuff. things that make me learn and grow. things that get me down but gives me big sense of satisfaction at the end of the day when i noe how to pick myself up from where i drop. life became satisfying and meaningful at the same time. it makes school more fun and another small reason why sch is fun is cos there are eye candies around.. right eve? i've learnt alot of things this year. and most importantly, i've learnt more about myself and wad i'm capable of.
which brings me to the next point. i've found more prominant traits on myself that i never knew existed. or maybe they did.. but just much more prominant this year. bad traits and good traits.. or maybe traits that are bad and good, depends on how u want to look at it. well, my new year resolution evey year is to be a better and more likeable person in the next year... lol... wonder if it ever comes true.
i miss my darlings alot. though i feel that this year, we met up more often than last year. however, the more i get of them.. the more i want. =) definitely got closer with them as compared to last year... last year is simply just soo pathetic and i may be the main cause if we drifted last year. luckily, we did not. gosh.. i simply love u guys soo much. u noe how much i thank god for having u guys as my frens. i always wonder if i cherish and appreciate u guys enough or not. but let me tell u guys this.. from the bottom of my heart... i wun be who i am without all of u. and i really really love u all. =) sorry that i couldn't go out with all of u this hols. have been quite busy and all. but rest assured, all of u are constantly on my mind. even u, chin! =)
to angel: thanks for everything this year. from being a regular visitor to my house to getting closer to me. let's keep this friendship strong, k. and continue being a regular visitor. u noe i'll be here for u always.. no matter what problems u may occur. can always come tok to me. no matter how busy i am, i'll still leave time for u. *hook finger*
to chin: no words an express how thankful i am to u for being my fren. with those late night calls. and morning accompaniments. thanks for clearing my doubts, for making me feel better. for always picking up my call even though it's past ur bedtime. thanks for bearing with my nonsense. u noe i have no intenton to be mean to u... and that ur interests are wad i care for most of all. thanks for always being there. to u... it's thanks and more thanks. i promise u more sakae next year. more buffets and we'll go search for the best and cheapest food together. =)
to boon: thanks for keeping me updated of ur life. u noe no matter how busy i am.. u are still on my mind. i'm concerend how have u been and all... and it makes me really happy when i noe u still care and upate me. anyway.. all the best with shou mei mei. be patient. i really hope this will work out for u. ur happiness is mine too. wad are gfs for. love ya
to xin: we definietely met more often this year as compared to last. thanks for giving us some of ur time and turning up at our functions, for us to noe wad's gg on in ur life. for us to see u even!thanks for always making me laugh when we are out and also letting me knoe tt u're always there for me.. like some kao shan.. i love u alot alot... but i cannot love u more than my nu peng. hopefully in the years to come... we can meet up more often. and where's my coffee with u...!!
to yan: one my my ALL-TIME favourite. last year.. u're the busy one. this year.. we noth are busy. time tt we spent with each other is getting lesser and lesser and i dun want tt to happen. den i wun have my yan to whine to. i wun have u to sob to. i wun have u to go drink with me. i wun have to nag at me. i really want tt. and i'm missing tt alot. promise u will be my fren always? i care for u alot. maybe more than u ever noe. ur happiness is also one of my main concern. so please do make urself happy.. and laso less busy.. so we can go out! we haven't shop together for a lonngggg time!!!
okie. so these are all my frens stuff. now.. to conclude things off, i should ve some new year resolutions but i cannot really think of a whole list now. maybe i'll do tt on the 1st. after i think of a whole proper list. maybe if i have time.. should change my blog skin. if i have time. =/
helping out with sb day stuff... alot of work on publication. actually half the time we're trying out things. try an error. new ideas, try, fail then think and try again. the cycle goes on. but i'm glad tt at least we've accomplished half of it all already. now eve is worrying about her stall, tix and prizes. trying to help as much as i can. or as much as she wants me to.
my darlings are coming over tmr. planning a little surprise for them. actually... it's no bg deal. but i want all of us to do it. so ya. =)
ur message everyday makes me smile. though it may be repetitve of things but still.. at least u bother. i had this logic... eye candies are meant to be seen and not to eat. so it took me quite a while to actually only sit back and enjoy the process but i'm glad i'm able to do it now. maybe i really think too much. life should be much simpler.
bye to 2005 and maybe everyone's 2006 be a good year!
lol... end of speech man.. oh boy... this is long.. and i'm lagging of taggers. where is everyone!!!
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
how i hated that part of my life. it's like a stain on this white piece of paper that i can never make it clean again. ever since then, i've been looking around for only the perfect one. nothing less than that. i know it's not possible to find the ideal or the most perfect but i don't deserve any better? either that... or i should always fall in da deepest pit that i myself find hard to come out. this is wad i deserve only.. is it? i know life's not fair.. bt it has to be as bad as this? not even anywhere close to justice?
someone told me about wavelengths recently and how true it is to me. different people have different wavelengths and it really matters alot to me. how each eavelength can come together and click or simply don't click. speaking to ds today reminds me again of wad kind of ideal i'm looking for and tt if i were to stick my head in that kinda shit... i would not get anywhere. but... somehow.. when i thought u and i share the same wavelength sometime ago... i don't think tt's quite right.
i guess this is where the compromising comes in? is it a point for me to learn? well.. if it is.. god.. show me some signs.. u noe how much i believe in those.
feeling so drained out of energy, brain power and health.... =/ dreched.. third time in a row.
someone told me about wavelengths recently and how true it is to me. different people have different wavelengths and it really matters alot to me. how each eavelength can come together and click or simply don't click. speaking to ds today reminds me again of wad kind of ideal i'm looking for and tt if i were to stick my head in that kinda shit... i would not get anywhere. but... somehow.. when i thought u and i share the same wavelength sometime ago... i don't think tt's quite right.
i guess this is where the compromising comes in? is it a point for me to learn? well.. if it is.. god.. show me some signs.. u noe how much i believe in those.
feeling so drained out of energy, brain power and health.... =/ dreched.. third time in a row.
Monday, December 26, 2005
Thursday, December 22, 2005
zombified, once again.
from 12 midnight to 9 in the morning. and after that, only 3 hours of sleep. i'm not deprived of bed or tired or wadsoever, i'm just feeling pretty stony. my brain has switched off. i don't feel like doing anything at all. and this worries me a little. my e-learning work is still stagnant there. i haven't touched it since like... when??
had organ lesson in the afternoon.. den headed down to golden mile tower for steamboat. it was a nice, short and cheap dinner. =)
my tummy aches... it's a on and off feeling. i wonder if it's the spicy noodles i had last night after extreme hunger or is it the cockles i had just now. whichever it is, it's not helping my mood =. i don't feel like doing work even more.
came across mona lisa smile this afternoon... a pang of emotion welled up into me. i'm getting used to it. this kind of things do happen recently, especially when the dreaded day draws near. i'm really afriad. feelings and emotions, much less actions are so hard to control at time. i realised i've been trying to keep myself occupied all the times these day, not a moment that i can spend too long thinking. it's working well... or so i see. in fact, last night session was conducted with a minor and very very small intention. however, that was uncalled for anyway. still...
it's amazing how flowers can brighten up a woman's day? i dun think it's somehing u guys can understand. =)
from 12 midnight to 9 in the morning. and after that, only 3 hours of sleep. i'm not deprived of bed or tired or wadsoever, i'm just feeling pretty stony. my brain has switched off. i don't feel like doing anything at all. and this worries me a little. my e-learning work is still stagnant there. i haven't touched it since like... when??
had organ lesson in the afternoon.. den headed down to golden mile tower for steamboat. it was a nice, short and cheap dinner. =)
my tummy aches... it's a on and off feeling. i wonder if it's the spicy noodles i had last night after extreme hunger or is it the cockles i had just now. whichever it is, it's not helping my mood =. i don't feel like doing work even more.
came across mona lisa smile this afternoon... a pang of emotion welled up into me. i'm getting used to it. this kind of things do happen recently, especially when the dreaded day draws near. i'm really afriad. feelings and emotions, much less actions are so hard to control at time. i realised i've been trying to keep myself occupied all the times these day, not a moment that i can spend too long thinking. it's working well... or so i see. in fact, last night session was conducted with a minor and very very small intention. however, that was uncalled for anyway. still...
it's amazing how flowers can brighten up a woman's day? i dun think it's somehing u guys can understand. =)
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
strange enough, i'm awake on a morning as early as this. supposed to be up an hour later, to prepare to go out on a " class gathering" and the only reason why i'm going is cos i'm sort of the person who organised it. i think i noe why i can't really sleep well the night before... my tummy kinda hurts now. i hope it's not what i think it is. not on a hoyous occasion, please.
have been relaxing and slacking these few days. as much as i'm enjoying every bit of it, my workload remain stagnant and untouched and this cannot go on. i knda want to get it completed before the xmas comes. i don't want to end up panicking next week. am so sure i would start soon, if only i can get into the mood and with enough motivation.
bought a few xmas presents yesterday and already i'm calling out broke. what kind of a xmas is this. penniless and all.... and i still have this steamboart outing tmr.. plus the singing session on friday and plus the party on sat... and my mum's feeling tight as well. don't even have the time to work to tide over this period.
it's the 4th day and i'm hoping i can still count on.
have been relaxing and slacking these few days. as much as i'm enjoying every bit of it, my workload remain stagnant and untouched and this cannot go on. i knda want to get it completed before the xmas comes. i don't want to end up panicking next week. am so sure i would start soon, if only i can get into the mood and with enough motivation.
bought a few xmas presents yesterday and already i'm calling out broke. what kind of a xmas is this. penniless and all.... and i still have this steamboart outing tmr.. plus the singing session on friday and plus the party on sat... and my mum's feeling tight as well. don't even have the time to work to tide over this period.
it's the 4th day and i'm hoping i can still count on.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Friday, December 16, 2005
Dear Santa,
have i been a bad girl this year? why is it that i'm not granted this one tiny wish of mine yet? it's just one little wish i ask from you. I must be very bad because i'm still suffering as it is. My life progressed and so did every other aspects in my life except that. why is it that i'm back to square one after many miles here and there, up and down, with new people in and out.
i still hate x'mas.
thoughts and memories still haunt me.
every image still manages to draw the most raw emotion out of me, messing up everything i tidied in there.
i wonder if anyone understands why am i contemplating certain issues. i'm enjoying the process and all. but deep down, something is repelling from deep within. it's not the gut issue, but i really have no wish to go through it all again. if it might even have the slightest bit of chance tt it will go down there, then dun even give me any hope. hope is the last thing i want right now cos it hurts too much and i'm definitely not someone who recovers fast. fine. i cannot adapt and i'm taking my freaking time, which seems way too long, to get out of this. but there's a limit to the amount of steps i dare to take. i just dun want to go through it again.
i'm like this little girl who refuses to stand p and take any more steps after she fell. this feels stupid, i know.
Santa, can i please have my wish granted soon. i dunno how long i can keep this going on.
have i been a bad girl this year? why is it that i'm not granted this one tiny wish of mine yet? it's just one little wish i ask from you. I must be very bad because i'm still suffering as it is. My life progressed and so did every other aspects in my life except that. why is it that i'm back to square one after many miles here and there, up and down, with new people in and out.
i still hate x'mas.
thoughts and memories still haunt me.
every image still manages to draw the most raw emotion out of me, messing up everything i tidied in there.
i wonder if anyone understands why am i contemplating certain issues. i'm enjoying the process and all. but deep down, something is repelling from deep within. it's not the gut issue, but i really have no wish to go through it all again. if it might even have the slightest bit of chance tt it will go down there, then dun even give me any hope. hope is the last thing i want right now cos it hurts too much and i'm definitely not someone who recovers fast. fine. i cannot adapt and i'm taking my freaking time, which seems way too long, to get out of this. but there's a limit to the amount of steps i dare to take. i just dun want to go through it again.
i'm like this little girl who refuses to stand p and take any more steps after she fell. this feels stupid, i know.
Santa, can i please have my wish granted soon. i dunno how long i can keep this going on.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
i'm in a happpy mooood. i wonder why..... ma is finally over and already tt's a huge relief. even the idea of having b law ca at 5:15 tmr after class and delaying my time to meet with the darlingsss did not dampen too much of my mood. =) í'm a happpy girl and this happy girl here misses her girlfriends alot!!!
i came to the conclusion that i'm suffering from dillness. that's not a good sign at all cos i dun really have the remedy to it. unless evelyn has her lobangs.. or esle.... i wan i wan i want.. =) the fun and all....
right till this hour, though i told them i would go offline.. i haven't study at all.. was playing games till now.. oh wells... let's hopetmr would be a good day as well.
angel darling, dun be too disheartened, k? things happened. problems occured but i'm sure everything would be just fine at the end of the month when u see IT. lol~ we're always here for u to complain to but dun give up, k! am sure u will emerged a stronger somebody. =)
freaking need 24 hrs of sleep
i came to the conclusion that i'm suffering from dillness. that's not a good sign at all cos i dun really have the remedy to it. unless evelyn has her lobangs.. or esle.... i wan i wan i want.. =) the fun and all....
right till this hour, though i told them i would go offline.. i haven't study at all.. was playing games till now.. oh wells... let's hopetmr would be a good day as well.
angel darling, dun be too disheartened, k? things happened. problems occured but i'm sure everything would be just fine at the end of the month when u see IT. lol~ we're always here for u to complain to but dun give up, k! am sure u will emerged a stronger somebody. =)
freaking need 24 hrs of sleep
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
i'm rather relaxed now as compared to the weekend i just had. everything seems clearer one way or another and i'm actually feeling pretty good. maybe this explains why i'm blogging now instead of doing my ma... =) even though fmkt really sux big time today... i'm still feeling pretty good.. i seriously wonder why.
okie.. i got back my theory results today and for blur blocks like amelia chow jing yi... it's organ theory!!!! i got a freaking 92... omg... i couldn't believe my eyes. and tt silly teacher of mine decided to play a trick on me this morn. she smsed me and sae she want to scold me already... she sounded really pissed and when she came my place.. she threw the results slip at me and sae... u ar... haiyo.. no choice.. have to retake... the only thing i replied her was.. huh.. waste money.. den i saw the real results... lol =) she promised me a present!! and it's gonna be a big one.. cos it's 2 in one.. xmas plus a dist for grade six theory.. lallalaa~~
so it's school... den presentation and den stayed back in school till like wad.. ten??? ma ma ma.. how much longer are u gg to torture us... but at least i'm pretty much done.. even if it's not correct.. we did out best... it feels good to be in this state.
one meal a day.... oh wells. i better faster do my ma.. cos i'm so sure someone would just nag at me to do it quick.. ahahha.
i should be enjoying this process.. but somehow... i;m afraid of wad it will lead to. yet again.
okie.. i got back my theory results today and for blur blocks like amelia chow jing yi... it's organ theory!!!! i got a freaking 92... omg... i couldn't believe my eyes. and tt silly teacher of mine decided to play a trick on me this morn. she smsed me and sae she want to scold me already... she sounded really pissed and when she came my place.. she threw the results slip at me and sae... u ar... haiyo.. no choice.. have to retake... the only thing i replied her was.. huh.. waste money.. den i saw the real results... lol =) she promised me a present!! and it's gonna be a big one.. cos it's 2 in one.. xmas plus a dist for grade six theory.. lallalaa~~
so it's school... den presentation and den stayed back in school till like wad.. ten??? ma ma ma.. how much longer are u gg to torture us... but at least i'm pretty much done.. even if it's not correct.. we did out best... it feels good to be in this state.
one meal a day.... oh wells. i better faster do my ma.. cos i'm so sure someone would just nag at me to do it quick.. ahahha.
i should be enjoying this process.. but somehow... i;m afraid of wad it will lead to. yet again.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
| Your Birthdate: August 21 |
 Your strength: Your thirst for adventure Your weakness: Not taking time for slow pleasures Your power color: Hot pink Your power symbol: Figure eight Your power month: March |
What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/">What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
people are nagging at me to blog and update so here i am. bear with me, i think this will be a long entry.
talentime has come to an end when the curtains came down on the finals one night ago. it was a success without any major problems cropping up. people enjoyed themselves and contestants were happy. one problem would be that it ended too late. many people reached home late or had to cab home. i had to ask my mum to come down and pay for my very expensive cab fare home from one end of singapore to the other. however, the sense of achievement i feel is beyond any words and like what ds said, i've achieved what i set out to achieve and i'm really happy for that.
i should be out celebrating or i should be letting my hair down after one month of work and all but immediately after i finish with talentime, projects and tests are already piling up high. there's like no break in between for me to let loose or something. take this beautiful saturday for example, i should be going out, doing some catching up with my girlfriends and all.. but i'm waiting at home for my classmates to come to do project. we're going to finish it i hope, by hook or by crook.
just to sidetrack... ds said i got no life to be hanging out with my girlfriends on a friday night.. hmmm... look who's talking about no life here mans... hmph. watched perhaps love with them yesterday. it really is like a chinese version of moulin rouge. not too bad.. but angel... issit really worth 5 stars? have my doubts.
was supposed to go out this morning with amelia to settle some stuff.... but i am too tired. i hardly get to sleep in anymore so i kinda postponed it.
although i've been very busy and i might have complaints here and there, i'm glad for this endless things to do in a way. it takes my mind off alot of stuff.. especially in the month of december. it can help me take my mind off how much i dislike the joyous season that many might be looking forward to. memories will flood back and the only way to stop thinking about such thoughts is to block them by the load of work i have to do.
it's been a year. is it too long or too short for me to still be thinking about it. i've no answers to any questions pertaining to this issue. it looks like i can never answer any of the questions.
too much expectations i guess caused my mild disappontment. but i've given up thinking anymore.
the close proximity. the small touch. hmmmm....
talentime has come to an end when the curtains came down on the finals one night ago. it was a success without any major problems cropping up. people enjoyed themselves and contestants were happy. one problem would be that it ended too late. many people reached home late or had to cab home. i had to ask my mum to come down and pay for my very expensive cab fare home from one end of singapore to the other. however, the sense of achievement i feel is beyond any words and like what ds said, i've achieved what i set out to achieve and i'm really happy for that.
i should be out celebrating or i should be letting my hair down after one month of work and all but immediately after i finish with talentime, projects and tests are already piling up high. there's like no break in between for me to let loose or something. take this beautiful saturday for example, i should be going out, doing some catching up with my girlfriends and all.. but i'm waiting at home for my classmates to come to do project. we're going to finish it i hope, by hook or by crook.
just to sidetrack... ds said i got no life to be hanging out with my girlfriends on a friday night.. hmmm... look who's talking about no life here mans... hmph. watched perhaps love with them yesterday. it really is like a chinese version of moulin rouge. not too bad.. but angel... issit really worth 5 stars? have my doubts.
was supposed to go out this morning with amelia to settle some stuff.... but i am too tired. i hardly get to sleep in anymore so i kinda postponed it.
although i've been very busy and i might have complaints here and there, i'm glad for this endless things to do in a way. it takes my mind off alot of stuff.. especially in the month of december. it can help me take my mind off how much i dislike the joyous season that many might be looking forward to. memories will flood back and the only way to stop thinking about such thoughts is to block them by the load of work i have to do.
it's been a year. is it too long or too short for me to still be thinking about it. i've no answers to any questions pertaining to this issue. it looks like i can never answer any of the questions.
too much expectations i guess caused my mild disappontment. but i've given up thinking anymore.
the close proximity. the small touch. hmmmm....
Sunday, December 04, 2005
when efforts and sacrifices made are deemed as nothing, my pieces of puzzle starts to fall apart. maybe is over reliance on both parties that caused it to happen but even i don't even believe wad i just typed. because i noe it myself, i'm definitely not what u think and on top of it all, you don't even understand my stand and intentions. no one is making things more complicated for me but you. if it could be counter defense that i don't understand ur intentions and stand, that's only because u chose to keep ur mouth sealed. i have people finally breaking the barrier and telling me how they feel and all. cos of that, work is simplified, i knew where i could deal with and wad i can deal with. nothing can be done when silence is the sole option. that's my believe.
the tears that i fought so hard to hold back refuses to hear my bid any longer. how i long for ~~~
i dun wan anyone taking sides. but neutrality always seem impossible.
the tears that i fought so hard to hold back refuses to hear my bid any longer. how i long for ~~~
i dun wan anyone taking sides. but neutrality always seem impossible.
Friday, December 02, 2005
i'm finally home before 7. and i even had the time to go rent some comics before i come home. i'm deprived of them ever since i got so busy. hardly have the energy, much less the time to read them. and maybe this explains my chirpy mood this evening.
oh.. but one thing. my tv broke down. the whole house seemed so cold and quiet without the sound of tv. when daddy and mummy gets home.. they can only stare at each other, without anything to do. i refuse to let them in my room to watch tv. only for the privilege of me... but can u blame me? they looked down on tt old tv.. and put it in my room. which means giving it to me. now.. of course i must exercise my rights as the owner of the tv. =)
okie, i'm being lame. but just looking forward to tmr... it's like a mini break free day.. and of course it's cos i can go out with those darlings of mine once again.
sometimes, people's faces and attitudes put me quite off. but i dun need those people to understand anyway.
oh.. but one thing. my tv broke down. the whole house seemed so cold and quiet without the sound of tv. when daddy and mummy gets home.. they can only stare at each other, without anything to do. i refuse to let them in my room to watch tv. only for the privilege of me... but can u blame me? they looked down on tt old tv.. and put it in my room. which means giving it to me. now.. of course i must exercise my rights as the owner of the tv. =)
okie, i'm being lame. but just looking forward to tmr... it's like a mini break free day.. and of course it's cos i can go out with those darlings of mine once again.
sometimes, people's faces and attitudes put me quite off. but i dun need those people to understand anyway.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
happy birthday chin! hope this year is a good one for you. i would really love to hear praises instead of naggings through 2006 noe. anyway.. no matter how irritating you are.. to the extent that i wanna slap u real hard.. u're still a dear to me.. always and forever.. i used the word forever, k.. treasure! happy 18th birthday!!
celebrated chin's bdae at can cafe.. it's a nice place. cos i feel that we got the whole place to ourselves. it's like our house.. soo comfy. so of course.. as usual.. we couldn't resist the temptation of taking pics after pics. lol~ had lotsa fun. to make up for a sucky day i would sae... and of course.. our darling chin had to drink up so much that she puked right in the middle of the pavement in the middle of our journey to esplanade! gosh... she dirtied yan's shoes... char's and my feet as well... first time see someone puke sooo much... not going to let her drink anymore mans... chin.. tt's a warning! either u stonned.. or u progressed and puke.
i love u guys alot. meet up soon please..
celebrated chin's bdae at can cafe.. it's a nice place. cos i feel that we got the whole place to ourselves. it's like our house.. soo comfy. so of course.. as usual.. we couldn't resist the temptation of taking pics after pics. lol~ had lotsa fun. to make up for a sucky day i would sae... and of course.. our darling chin had to drink up so much that she puked right in the middle of the pavement in the middle of our journey to esplanade! gosh... she dirtied yan's shoes... char's and my feet as well... first time see someone puke sooo much... not going to let her drink anymore mans... chin.. tt's a warning! either u stonned.. or u progressed and puke.
i love u guys alot. meet up soon please..
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