i m at school. again. where else can i be if i wan to blog. sian... having marketing tutorial now on sum research thingy... damn boring can. went friendster.. read alot of things and saw alot of people. it's amazing how in a matter of few years, how much can one change. came to a realisation that people do change alot, constantly and reapidly too. it's quite scary how one changes. i m afraid of changes, afraid that people wld leave mi. not much of a sense of security i have in mi. however, i need to come to da fact that changes are around, whether i like it anot, people and things still change, i must learn to adapt, and not run away. hearts will change. what's once used to be happiness can turn sour the next day, maybe u love mi once but u might change the next day. or maybe in a few hours time. i dunno.. and i dun like... many things happened these few days, made mi pause in my tracks to think. what i wan for mislef and wad i want in others, no conclusion made. i really hope u can be there for mi... hopefully forever? m i asking too much.... i dunno....

How to Keep a Woman Happy
It's not difficult.
Tokeep a woman happy, a man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organiser
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionateWITHOUTFORGETTING TO:
44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girlsAND AT THESAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give he r lots of space, never worrying about where she goesIT IS VERYIMPORTANT:
53. Never to forget:* birthdays* anniversaries* arrangements she makes

here's a little short entry for amelia:

ignore all ur classmates if they ever cause u to be stressed. actually, in my opinion, no one can actually make u stress except urself so do things at ur own pace. i m shure u wld succeed in ur own ways. u dun hafta compare with others. compare with urself... check urself if u did better than the previous times or worse. only den, u wld improve. dun ever be disheartened.... we've only walked 17 years of life.. for u... haven't reach 17 years yet. ahaha! so all i wanna tell u is that have confidence in yourself.. i noe u better than any of ur classmates and i sae u can do it.. soo y dun u trust urself? k? hope u are feeling better... =) cos i care....

my net is down... very sae u noe. i can't check mail, can't surf net and worst of all, i can't blog. =( aniwae, just past my 17th bdae.. one of the happiest bdae i ever had. let mi trace back to fridae. was selling things in sch in the morning to raise funds for charity... mi frens bought a very special gift for mi.. =) hee hee... a set og lingerie frm Blush! ahaha, it was quite a shock... pink colour one summore.. very feminine... i like it.. and the best part is it fits.. to tink i dun realli noe dem tt well yet and dey noe mi size soo well, ahahaha. aniwae, after charity... went to a kindergarden at bv to teach the little kids. those kids are very very cute... but also rather hard to control leh. if i have to teach them for a week, i wld probably lose mi voice. after that, headed to town to lips to meet yansing. sooo poor thing, among all mi frens, only ys willing to spend mi bdae with mi.... or so i tot, when i was about to order food, charmaine and cf came in. gave mi quite a shock.... i was realli surprised... and that's not all... sandra joined us soon after!! =) dey very nice.. bought lips mud pie and da equator chocolate cake.. yumm!!! soooo sweet of them can.. =) i was all smiles.... soooo dey bought mi perfume and a necklace.. thnx alot girls... love ya to bits!!! den saturday, mi actual date of birth, ahahha,, had accounts ca in da moring.. ii was very very sucky..... i didn't get the ans.. and i didn't realli complete mi work... =( mi frens sang mi a bdae song to cheer mi up, try not to tink abt it animore... and met phoebe for a while for lunch... and den went to meet baby at great world. she was shopping for the ingredients for that night's dinner. aniwae.. just wanna sae that baby was really sweet. she cooked a very very sumptous seafood meal for mi. i noe she put in alot alot of effort in it... for dessert, she made chocolate milkshake for mi. and lastly, she got hilton chocolate cake for mi. =) baby very very sweet, she tried to create surprises for mi but as she was too eager, she can't wait to tell mi either... ahahhaha. baby bought perfume, wallet and cd for mi... and also a sunflower.... i dun usually sae this but baby, thnx soo much for everything u've done. i love u... =) and i look forward to spending mi next bdae with u.. and all other holidays... =) i hope i haven't annoy u soo much that u wanna get rid of mi... time realli pass soo fast.. we have been together for cuming 8 mths.. =) soo much nice memories u gave mi.... =) =) met mi darling fren amelia on sundae.. went pastamania to eat.. played around with hps and digital camera. went to take neoprint.. amelia soo silly.. got fascinated with the toilets so we decided to take pix of it.. if onli i can upload pix.. can show all the pix! thnx to everyone for remembering my bdae... and those hu made mi bdae this year soo happy... u guys are really really appreciated.. =) aniwae.. li jia wei lost.... many people are sad.... m not affected.. life goes on.. ahahhaa... having it lesson again... boring

long time since i last blogged. let mi clarify, this time is not cos i m lazy but cos mi computer can't work. sumthing is wrong with my internet explorer. haik, now is fine and let's hope it will remain this way. hmmm, where do i start blogging... let mi start back all the way from tues.
tuesday:
it's baby's bdae. i kinda dressed up a little, wore a skirt, put on bit bit of makeup. and i stressed on bit bit! mi frens all started teasin mi cos it's da first time i wore a skirt ever since i stepped nto poly, they knew i was goin to meet sumone impt.. hee hee... i didn't admit but didn't deny either. aniwae, cf was working there part time so i got her to get mi darling a cake as a surprise. btw, cf is soo lucki, this whole week is already her holiday and the following two weeks wld be her attachment.. lucki girl. aniwae, baby was surprised... i cld finally give her a successful surprise.. this baby of mine ar, damn smart one. aniwae, baby finished work early so came to sch and picked mi up. she ar, bought mi a pair of slippers but she ended up wearing it instead. i really dun mind cos her new addidas slippers are hurting her feet so i let her wear. we went east coast, wanted to eat steamboat one.. walked a very very long distance. even managed to catch the sunset.. =) but ended up, that shop was closed... quite disappointing but never mind lah, we found another place to eat grilled seafood.. very nice ambience.. with the sea breezw.. =) very romantic.. da food there is very very good... we just sat dere, tok a little... enjoying every moment of it when suddenly, this drunkard came to us. he started talking.. can tell that he is rather depressed, can see tears in his eyes. he kept grabbing baby's hands... we cldn't make out wad he said... all he said that we are soo young and that i m so beautiful.. m not the least bit happy abt his compliment. aniwae, when we cld finally get rid of him, we left asap. baby sae luckily he wasn't sitting beside mi.. or else he wld be touching mi hands and grabbing mi... we went Mcafe and have a drink.. sat ard a little longer and headed home.. took cab frm mi hse den back to baby's. it's a long time since we did that. can't do that very often yea... very ex. it was a nice dae!
ahaha, after typing sooo much, lazy to type wad happened for the rest of the daes liao so let mi do a brief summary. was feeling rather stressed on wed den went out with jack to play and eat. tho i felt bit bit better after that, but the stress i feel is not totally gone... there are many things i have not done.. deadline coming nearer and nearer.... haik... hu can i blame.. i even played mahjong on fridae when i have an econs test on sat. baby was quite angry with mi.. sorry dear... guessed m still a little playful, and tt's why bring all this stress upon miself. so yesterdae's econs was still quite okie.. maybe can't get mi A lor... but hopefully can pass lah. baby very sweet. first, she watched vcd and deliberately stayed up so that she can wake mi up in da morning for mi test and den she actualli came to sch and picked mi up after mi test... sweet thing but it got her very tired da whole dae during her hse warming and thus da grouchiness... dunno y but yesterdae, felt like baby and i lost sumthing between us... sum feelings... i hope i m being too sensitive... this person here is someone i wanna love with all mi heart, dun wanna lose her... k, getting a little mushy... but aniwae, watching fireworks with her later.. =)

beautiful sundae i had. met up with nu peng you, angel and cf at toa payoh... our usual hangout. it was hugs, laughter and chatters... i really really miss the old days. i actually brought our my work to do but i didn't do at all... we just tok and tok.. exchanging comics.... i actualli hope we can sit there for hours and hours just chi chatting. aniwae.. we went j8 after that to take neo print. j8 changed alot.. it's been years since i went dere leh... much more things to look at... i tink i wld go dere more often now if i can. aniwae, saw angel's boiboi.... ahahha. he looks a little diff frm the pictures angel showed us. he's more photogenic... just like mi.... i dun look good in real person too... but we tink angel and him in terms of size and height, very compatible. he ar.. very bad. the moment he cum, he took our beloved angel away frm us.. still tot he wanted to walk ard with us... bleah! sooo not long after angel left, me and cf parted with xw. cf went with mi to meet my classmates to watch the fireworks together. haiyo.. lucki cf came or else i might feel quite out. one the the guys brought his gf and another guy like this girl frm mi klass and obviously, he's more interested in toking to her onli den toking to mi... luckily, i've got cf... fireworks starts at 8:30.... we were dere even before 7... waited and waited as it gets more and more crowded at the bridge where mi classmates chose to watch the fireworks.. finally, we got to see the fireworks... it was... BEAUTIFUL! i dunno wad else to sae but it was realli realli nice.. i love it... it was nice watching with mi frens but hopefully, i can get to watch with my darling baby next week. woah.. that less than ten minutes was good... worth the long wait... after fireworks.. went ot eat dinner with baby and den she sent mi home... lalala... happy national day!! and tmr's baby's bdae!! ahahaha

since when did i have the feeling that coming home is such a dread, like entering another dimension totally different from the one i had outside. since when m i making the distance between mi and mum grow bigger and bigger? i've got no idea manz. todae is another totally tiring dae. dal is right. i slept frm morning until late afternoon, from marketing to econs. mi old bad habit is coming back AGAIN! not very good. same old things goin on and on in my head.. homework.. projects.. everything is pressing mi down, making it difficult for mi to breathe. i've got to get started sumwhere yea. read the papers.. do mi work, read through, i wan to do well, or rather, i got to do well, to escape the claws and clutches. it's a need, not a want. da only good thing todae wad went out with baby, seeing her makes all my troubles and worries fly away.. we went to watch movie den did a little shopping... saw a levi's skirt.. love it! ahahha, had a good dinner.... everything is good... i gotta work hard.. nothing in this world cums free.

today is such a tiring day or rather, these days have been very tiring for me. i also dunno y m i so tired.. feel very lethargic, dun feel like doing anything, dun feel like tinking abt anything while homework and project is piling up.. higher and higher. todae's supposedly my short day, but got sum ndp observation in my sch. mi class is one of the specially selected one to go observe it. got give goody bag summore but i got cheated. other pple's goody bag got manicure set and organizer but my one dun haf! mine only got mineral water.. sum canned lemon drink, a flag and a song sheet.. ahh.. never mind lah... aniwae... HAPPY BDAE, EVELYN!! dis lucki girl ar, got sumone buy her mp3 player wor... ahaha... she ar, getting to like her more each day... she's a very typical leo and sumtimes, i feel that i can read her mind.. we can be soo alike yet so diff. aniwae.. tmr's hui juan's bdae.. mi classmates are sooo horrible... make mi go buy her present miself leh.. but aniwqae,, i got it done.. soo tired.. need to go rest.. goin at dinner with my darling baby later.. tata

have been a very good girl these two days, came home straight after school. baby has been very good these 2 daes too, except in da morning, so naughty and lazy, sleep and sleep and sleep till she hafta take cab to work. but these two daes she never go out... goood... maybe she will tmr but nvm lah... =) projects are piling out especially ec one.. cum to tink of it.. cd one is also rather urgent.. my grp mates' computers are all down... my one also not much better.. i tink got a very very big virus inside.. can't seem to clear it leh. i ate alot todae, dunno why so greedy. had rice for lunch, den feeling hungry still so i went to buy soup to drink... was havin a sweet tooth after that so i ate ice cream... den after lecture, went to buy twisties to eat. had kfc for dinner... dad bought home for mi and when mum brought back food for herself, i went to eat abit too.. i feel sooo fat... i need a diet!!! one that i can follow!!! will be rather busy this weekend... goin sentosa on saturday... and den sunday, meeting up with angel, xiuwen and cf!! ahaha... finally can see dem and mi comics too! mi darling girlfrens!! realli miss dem alot alot... hmmm.. as for chin fang, feel quite bad, cos these few daes got quite alot of hw den i gotta study etc etc.... and hafta cut short our tel calls... tink she wanna call mi and chat but dun realli hafta time for her.. sorrie girl... and i miss mi darling baby... chatted with angel just now... she's feelin comfy comfy.. and both of us noe exactly why... lalalala.. oh, after meeting up with them, goin to watch fireworks.. might be able to see angel's boy boy... ahahha.. must go through my inspection!!! kk.. gotta go do my stuff already.... =)

HOW BAD IS YOUR TEMPER ACCORDING TO YOUR HOROSCOPE

LEO JULY 22 – AUGUST 21

If anyone has total control over their emotions, it is you. But then, you can be described as stiff, cold and uncaring. You are known to lack spontaneity but you really don’t care about opinions. You don’t like to create scenes and will never accept invitations to a party where you suspect the presence of an unruly lot. But your very presence seems challenging to some and they take vicarious pleasure in your disquiet. When angry you can use critical language. A dressingdown can humiliate your opponent, causing a strain between both of you forever.

haven't blog for quite some time. have been rather busy, not totally with school work, which is sumthing i m guilty of. hee. aniwae, m in sch now having ITab lesson. it's really boring but wad to do, still hafta concentrate. dun wanna be a repeat student due to sum silly IT lesson. so... had a great weekend with my darling baby. oh, she just called mi and i answered my fone right in the middle of lesson.. ahaha, this is the best thing about poly. so back to my wonderful weekend. had make-up leson on friday and it's her half day. after lesson, went over to collect keys frm her so that i can go put mi things in her house, carried quite alot of things over mah. she finished work at 3 so went back to find her after that and we went to holland v to get her hair cut. after haircut, we went back to her place and rest. wad doing my accounts at her house. she very bad, she sae if i didn't finish den i can't watch the bachaelor... ahahha.. bachaelor!!! he chose estella!! ahaha!! i knew he wld choose her... sooo happy!!! aniwae, baby and i slept earli cos the next dae, i need to go back to sch for CD ca... baby very nice the next dae.. woke up as early as mi although she dun haf to and send mi to sch. she went cine to get tix for midnight movie and den came back to sch and pick mi home.. her mum and dad very nice to mi too. saturday is her housewarming dae.. did i mention i bought a toaster for her? ya.. bought a toaster for her family... aniwae, felt more like a half host den the guest dere.. but nvm.. i enjoy it wad.. ahaha... met baby's frens... didn't really interact much.. =( and sang karaoke with her dad and his singing instructer.. she sae mi voice not too bad yea?? ahahha... oh.. chin fang and yansing came too.. fuxing also... and yan and fuxing left first.. and at night, baby actualli sent cf to nearest mrt station. when we came back.. soo tired.. almost wan to give up da midnight movie.. wad to do, buy liao.. not cheap so had to drag our tired body to watch.... but it was a good show.. very beautiful... everything was filmed until very nice.. very very nice.. didn't regret.. but after da show, when we reached home, we fell asleep straight away... love to be in baby's arms when i fall asleep.. feel sooo secure and warm.... lalala.. aniwae, we slacked da sundae away. really enjoyed miself with her... da more i spent time with her.. da more i wanna be with her forever... everyhing just feel soo right, altho i noe this temporary bliss wun last forever... baby's bdae cuming soon..

it took just merely few words of yours to break me, to get mi devastated, plunging into the deepest and darkess pit of depression. is this love? on the other hand, it took merely a few words to get mi standing back again, to see the light in things. is this love? crying over and over again for something I dun even know whether wld happen or not, is this love? tossing and turing in my bed, was tired initially but sumhow just cannot sleep after ur silence, is this love? will u tell mi wad does ur silence means? wad do u wan? wad do u wan me to do? to like u so much so much, to have ur every action and words affect mi so much, i noe i have step in already. i've got no turning back, dun turn me away, dun hurt me, m just as fragile. i noe everyone might think i m silly, m stupid and i can't blame them for saying it but this is love.. rite?i chose this myself... aniwae, sorry to those hu worried for me. sorrie to those hu cared and also to mi neighbours... ha

jie went back to australia yesterday, went to send her off. won't be seeing her till 6 months later. it's a beautiful saturday and i stayed at home cos nobody asked mi out. quite sad hor, but never mind, i completed all my homework, not a very big achievement but at least it's sumthing. now, all i have to do is revise mi work, esp econs... gotta catch up a little cos i have been rather blur in class... dun really get wad da lecturer sae leh. and mi FOM too.... dere's quite sum stuff for mi to do but sumhow, mi mind is constantly drifted to mi darling. haven't see her for 2 days already and i miss her... feel like goin to her house to stay but m tired of coming out with excuses here and dere... gosh, y can't mi mum be a little more lenient. maybe one night, i wld just sneak out of mi house and never come back! ahaha, wad a silly tot of mine. aniwae, it's been 2 weeks since sch started, so far so good but i noe with a blink of the eye, tests and projects wld start piling up already... ahahha, so better relax now as much as possible. found myself a job... quite good pay and dey are willing to take mi even tho i can only work on firday.... yay.. =) baby just called mi.. sae she goin out...

You're Most Like The Season Autumn ...

You're warm, and the most approachable. You have
that gentle prescence about you. People can
relate to you, and find you easy company.
However it's likely you've been hurt in the
past and it has left you scarred so things can
become rather chilly with you at times. Being
the third Season in, you're mature, trustworthy
and loyal to your friends but prone to
depression and negative thinking.

Well done... You're the shy and sensitive season :)


?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

just read amelia's blog. wondering how come she can type so much. ahaha, tt girl ar, must be very excited to get a blog, tt's why. oh, m i quite mean to sae that. never mind lah, wad are 9 yrs frens for right, amelia. aniwae, she is so annoying. msg her sae i wanna tok to her on da fone and she never reply. meanie. she's not the only one tho, that xiuwen ar, was msging her one dae and ask if she wanna chat with me on da fone and she never reply too. how cum ar? no one wans to tok to me on the fone? ahahha. aniwae, dis is my second week of sch. how did i pass my long weekend. well, went out with cf and ys on fridae and we watch mean girls, ate lips. baby was quite angry with me for eating lips tho. i noe m quite broke already yet i m spening like no one's prob. ate lips twice for that week. summore keep saying i wanna go lips with baby yet i keep going there with my frens. sorry dear, i really better hafta start saving soon. look at todae's date and i m quite broke already. sat went town again to support charmaine, her sch doin sum charity thingy there. went there and donate all mi coins. it's been a long time since i saw that girl... changed quite alot... nice to meet up and pls hor, charmaine.. u still owe all of us a bbq!! ahahaha, i live so close to u, dun pretend ar. after that, headed down to pasir ris downtown east cos is little ashley's bdae party!! gosh... that sweet little thing. when i reached dere, there were soo many kids there playing. realised i really grew older liao. it's no longer my era. felt so out of place, like go dere and eat only leh. summore, deborah didn't go and debbie came late!! gosh! soo lonely for like 2 hrs plus... spent da whole of sundae with my darling baby. stayed over at her place the night before. guess she was really tired cos she fell asleep halfway thru watching. reminds mi alot of deborah. we used to watch vcd together and she wld always fall aslp first. helped mi darling to pack bit bit of the hse and also to set up her com. quite tiring.. ate a late breakfast.. watched vcd... the night before, she bought quite a number of vcds... and den laze ard at her place. we love doing that.. just lazing ard and apparently, time passes very fast when the both of us laze ard. we went ikea in the evening to have a look at coat stand!! she wants to get one for herself and for her parents... we went achorpoint to get sum stuff for her mum and baby met her fren who is workin at haagen dazs. we got free ice cream to eat... gosh.. it's delicious... i can't even use words to describe... but it's realli very very nice.... ahahha den went hawker centre and eat dinner. baby sae she dun wanna go hawker centre and eat animore.. next time must packet the food.. she saes it makes her clothes and her hair stinks. ahhaha.. i m fine with it.. who is the princess here lor! wen back her place to cath abit of the nkf show den went home after that. it's da first time i actually took a train home frm her place.. realli save quite alot lor... ahahha. finally about todae... very tired dis morning when i woke up... almost had to drag miself off the bed.. luckily last night, i already msged xuanming and told him to msg mi in case i fail to wake up. sch is ok... ec was fun.. my accounts tutorial was done well and i m proud of miself and den it's the itab... tt's sooo sian!! very bored.. fell asleep during that lesson... neway... got a new camera fone... for my bdae frm mi parents... =) m tired typing...

one week has passed. one week of school life. lucky me, i've got no school tmr. got my cca settled, joined environmental club.. ahahha.. keep the earth clean and green and i also join mentoring club... i need the cca points so no chioce hafta join sumthing. got sum textbooks.. sooo ex.. mi heart quite pain. met baby for the past 3 daes after school, came home quite late every night so no time to actualli consolidate my notes and read them. spent quite a bomb on taxi fares but she was sweet last night, she sent mi home. i kinda miss her cos i didn't see her todae. her course kinda ended already and she's back at work. she ar, cannot make it for a 9 to 5 job.. she gets even more tired everydae and she simply can't wake up on time every morning. hafta keep taking cabs. yaya! tmr no school, m goin out with ys and cf, waitin for dem to finish their sch den going to watch mean girls... baby want to watch tt show too but too bad, she owes mi spiderman!! i m CRAVING for that show can! we are gonna watch it this sundae.. ahahha..sooo far soo good.. life is not too bad.. i can't ask for much. baby's bdae is cuming.. in about a mth plus time.. wad shld i get.. hmmm....

woah... it's already my second day at school. everything's fine for the moment excpet our hols are shorter and dere wun be aby more sub paper if i do fail mi exams. i gotta do well for every CA cos dey weigh quite alot in my final grade. baby having course these two days so we went out yesterday and today. fun.. it's always fun being with my girl. went over to her hse yesterday and she cooked seafood pasta... we are soooo damn bloated after the meal, we had mushroom soup too and one big balck pepper chicken.. gosh... we had to waste food and really very very full!! ahaha, baby's pasta is very nice.. tho i dun realli like to admit it ot her... lalala.. and today, we went to watch around da world in 80 daes.. ahahha.. free tix.. tt's y. it's not too bad.. excpet, both of us dun really like jackie chan... niwae... after movei.. we went kopitiam and eat.. den realised i left mi precious file with all mt notes back at mos at ps.. where we watch movie... we walked all da way back to get it.. soo sorry baby.. i promise to be more careful next time.. tmr got early dae.. end at 3.. baby gonna cum pick mi again like wad she did todae.. sooo sweet... we are gonna eat lucnch in my school first den go visit frankie... next week cannot meet her soo often animore.... gotta do sum serious sch work already... m missing her.. =)

m in school now, using the com. slacking away waiting for the 1pm lecture to start... soo tired.. meeting baby later. wondering how is she doin ih her class.. ahaha...

woah. time really pass very fast. so much things have happened after i came back and now, 3 more daes and i m starting school already. jie is back... welcum back. i realli miss her, her cooking and her just being ard in singapore. sumhow, nothing much have changed between us, everything just felt like she has been all the while in singapore and tt we just met up after a long time. deb too. it's been such a long time since we had night feast. i missed it. like how we started in da past. little packets of snacks frm provision shop. always eatin finish. now, big packets... go supermarket buy summore... and we always have remaining food. ahaha, those were the time. i bet if mi aunt sees this, she wld just faint.niway, orientation is finally over. the 3 daes of orientation tt i did not really look forward to is finally over. first day, we played games and like get to noe u session mainly. nothing much. got to noe mi klassmates a little more here and dere. den cos da first dae was so sian, i pon orientation da next dae and went out with my cousins.. ahhaha. yesterday was flag dae... and can u believe it.. sae already also paiseh myself only.. i onlu managed to have $6.70 in my tin. ahahha.. i was lazy... slagged ard in paya lebar. neway, not all my fault.. da location wasn't good to sell flag, k! tho one of mi klassmates managed to get a total of 90 bucks plus plus..ahahah.. yaya.. i m just lazy.. i hate selling flags! after flag selling, went out with baby. actually, tot can meet her earlier but i was held up in school.. grr... dey make everyone sit dere while dey count da money.. quite a waste of time yea. went out with baby and she bought mi a school bag and a pair of jeans... and slippers too!! ahahha... actually, she only promised to get mi a pair of jeans and she ended up getting more.. lalalla.. still got 2 more daes to relax before school starts. out of nowhere, i suddenly feel quite stressed up. dunno why also leh. school starting, i wan to do well. scared i can't make frens... ys not in da same klass as mi... hmmm.. i guess this is the time for mi to be independent... learn to depend on no one but urself.

i m back!!! i m back! and i m burnt! hu sae phucket is having their rainy season? for the many days that i m dere, the sun is so high up and so strong. phuket's sun is poisonous... m hurting frm mi sunburnt.. ouch.. painz. baby more poor thing. dunno why leg also swollen and it hurts for her to walk. the holidays were great. didn't do much shopping or sight seeing tho but it's fine with me. to me, it's just relaxation and spending quality time with my baby before mi sch reopens. and time really flies cos next tues is my orientation already. jie coming back this sundae... everything is moving ahead of mi.. sooo fast. 5th july coming... mi sch starts... 4th july.. euro cup final.. whoa! neway, soory gals.. didn't get gifts for u guys cos very hectic... sun very hot... onli did shopping at night and i m on a budget tour!! i miss my baby and i miss phuket.. not the sun tho. it wld be good if we can stay dere longer so that our skin can repair and den get a more even tan back. but m still glad i m back!!!! lalalallaa

since i've chosen this, i've got to learn that there's no tmr and there wun be any assurance or confirmation. everything is still so unstable in da future, so why talk about it or why get so bothered about it. when it comes. it comes. make full use of everydae that i have and live it to the fullest, with no regrets. i've got to take each day as it comes. this is good. it makes me learn new things everyday and how to improve myself in each and every little way. neway, spent the whole dae getting my stuff for the trip. she's using a deodourant that's so diff to get. i feel as if it's out of stock.. ahaha, didn't get it in the end, unless i wanna travel out of tampines. m almost done with my packing. dun tink i missed out anything. my bag is so fat now. dunno how to carry it out of the house tmr. m goin thaialnd in like 2 daes time? wun be spending too much time at thailand tho cos m arriving there ard late evening... and leaving there on tues morn. quite sad... but never mind... wld just enjoy each and everydae to the fullest! =) phucket... sun (hopefully), beach and sand... here i cum!

a mondae spent with my mum. we went riverwalk to do facial and buy sum beauty products. mum spent quite sum money dere. den i got a little grumpy with mum when she inisit i go temple and pray. i noes she means well but m tired, i wanna go home as soon as possible. we made a trip down to grandma's place summore. gosh, really wanted to cum home cause dunno y, i was damn tired. felt quite bad for being so grouchy to mum... =( neway, can't wait for thurs, den fri! counting down to da trip manz... mi time of month came todae.. gosh.. dunno whether to count myself lucky or unlucky... but hope it wld end by fri... cos i wanna go suntanning!!! just received a msg frm junior. she sae weaather at phucket not very good.. gloomy.. die... if da weather's gonna be like tt when i m at phucket.. wld die... soo disappointing can. goin out with baby tmr.. =) i can't believe this.. dun used to like soccer but now m a tiny fan of the euro cup.. ahahaha

woah. wad a fulfilling day at home. woke up this morning to wake my baby up, such a lazy pig. tt woman ar, ended taking cab to work, tsk tsk! watched abit of tv, went downstaris to get tuna cos i have bread at home den i started my packing. empty out my whole cupboard to preparefor new clothes. threw away many pairs of jeans, many tank tops etc. basically, threw away many stuff, gotta write out a whole long list of clothes to buy cos mi cupboard is rather empty now, ahaha. haven't let mum inspect the clothes i wanna throw, surely get scolding frm her wan.. den next, went to change mi bedsheet, never did it on my own before. mum is always the one doing it. even tho mi bed is not a queen or king size, it's still quite heavy, took mi quite sum time to get things done. damn tiring. after which, i kinda packed mi table a little, making it neater, throwing away litter which i m so fond of leaving on the table. den cleaned mi floor. got rid of all mi hair on the floor, ahaha, my mum and baby are all gonna be so proud of me. baby asked mi to pack mi things so that everything is neat and tidy before i leave, give mi mum a better impression or sumthing. and now, i m online reading about phuket, gotta noe more about phuket before i go there. need to learn how to bargain and look fierce, ahahaha. m so hardworking! i m leaving for phuket in less than a week, m soo excited! can't wait but i haven't pack too. neway, met up with xcyflawx yesterdae with ys, winnie and mi darling dotter! had lotsa fun! tho dey went to watch harry potter and i didn't. we just ended up splitting. it was great seeing everyone else. feels good! gotta bathe soon, feel a little dirty frm the dust of mi room. =) haven't seen mi baby for 2 daes.. 3 including todae.. miss her.

wad's wrong? my eyes are dry now but can't be sure if they will be later when i sleep. ever since last night, things seem to be pretty messy and it's affecting me badly. i dunno wad to tink or wad to sae anymore. m sorrie for being so stupid and not tinking before i sae or do anything. i realli dun wan to add any more burden to u. i noe u already have alot to tink about. i just wan to be dere, just to do my part. even if i were to be onli in da shadows... it's fine but things just have to take a turn. can't blame anyone but miself. i stressed her out and it cause a stain between us. dunno how to fix it or whether it shld be fixed... dunno dunno.... aniwae, went out with baby todae. todae's kinda da last dae we meet before we head for thailand. todae's baby's last half dae before the trip to thailand.. mi poor darling is working full shift throughout.. feel quite bad goin out to enjoy without when she's working so hard and so stressed out. we went temple to pray... for baby... and den we went shopping... it was great.. baby bought more than mi when it's supposed to be me doin the shopping!! not fair.. after that.. went over to baby's place.. her mum bought dinner for us.. sooo scary!!! bought soo much stuff just for 3 person (including her dad).. had a fun time.. m missing her... took cab home.. AGAIN. i noe y i ve been so broke... cos of mi cab fares. i hope everything wld be fine. wld be fine.

feeling hot all over... m i running a fever? mum insist she wans to send mi to the airport! how... soo frustrating.... aniwae, went out with mum todae. spent abt 5 hrs plus at the salon... it was so cold in dere. goin out with ys, cf and maybe xiuwen tmr.. going out to shop!! yea.. like finally. sooo sad, it's the 3 of us again... hopefully, this fridae wld be better.. can go out with angel and xiuwen. and amelia.. hmmm, trying to plan a dae with her... apparently, she's very busy.. cannot squeeze out time for me leh. =( amelia, if u are reading this... better cum out with mi alone one of these daes.. i miss u!! m gonna do sum proper shopping tmr man.. but baby sae i cannot spend too much.. bleah! can't take it animore, better go measure mi temp... m realli feeling quite hot...

yippee!!! life is so great at this point of time. ahaha, organ exam finally over, did quite badly.. dun tink i can get my distiction, but i did mi best. aniwae, it's over, over over! yay! i dun care if i dun do well lah.. it's over... ahahah.. and work is FINALLY OVER!! i m free!! m a free girl now!! ahahha... tt is even happier for mi. it's shopping and more shopping.. going out and more going out... felt as if one big burden is finally off my chest! ahahahaa. had a great time @ baby's place last night. wanted to stay up da whole night but we were too tired and had to work todae also. both of us dun wanna go to work todae sooo badly! it's soo nice cuddling baby to sleep.. m missing her already... hoping that mum wld let mi stay over one more night this coming wed but i guess it's too much to ask for yea... better dun take it for granted... shall see first.. yeah!! m soo happy!

scared. scared. scared. feeling all nervous now about my exam later. mummy is a little crazy, she told mi to wear this long skirt to exam... ahahha, bet she wans mi to seduce the examiner yea. m very nervous now, dun dare to practise too much, scared mi fingers wld hurt... i can't wait to get it over and done with... goin baby's hse tonight to stay over and we can go to work together tmr.. yippee... mi baby soo poor thing, next week no off dae at all.. she's gonna be soo tired... m gonna buy sum vitamin pills for her later on. she's falling sick i tink. gosh, i haven't bathed yet! and i m sooo scared!!! wish mi luck!!

woke up this morning dreading tomorrow. tmr is the dae, the dae of my organ exam. everything's stressing mi out. i can't fine mi grade 5 theory cert that i m supposed to bring tmr to take mi grade 6 exam. dun remember taking grade 5 theory exam at all. mum can't remember. onli mi teacher insisted that i did. haik... dun even noe after practising so hard, can take da exam or not. head pain. teacher coming over later, she so sweet, bought mi lunch. dun tink wed was mi last dae of work, i tink i hafta repot on sun. sun den is mi official last dae... y.... m soo sick and tired. finally had a little enjoyment yesterdae. met up with ys and cf and we went k box to sing to our heart's content. it was fun... grandma gave mi sum money when i went over her place yest to look for mi cert. baby asked mi to save the money.. dun anyhow spend. baby, i miss you alot. i dunno when's da last time we actually went out together. i noe we dun haf a chioce and i noe u are trying by coming down to suntec for a while here and dere when i m working. but this dun seem enough cos i realli miss u alot. sorry b for being so not understanding last night. i noe work is piling up for u and it's stressing u up. i shld be dere for u, not adding on to ur burden... sorry. i miss u lots... =(

so wad's new in my life. nothing much i guess. chatted with angel for a while last night when i got home. realised m very outdated when it cums to sch life cos i didn't even noe that the hols ve started already. updated angel on my life and she did so too. i miss her alot. used to see her almost everydae last time and now... we agreed to meet up as soon as possible.. after mi last dae of work which hopefully wld be this coming sundae. baby wants mi to work 4 more daes after this sundae.. four full shift to earn the money.. she's mad... i told her mi body cannot take it anymore.. physically and mentally.. i need to enjoy! i need to buy clothes and party! i need to meet up with so many pple... i deserve this enjoyment, k! aniwae, heard that after the hols, wld be their mid yrs.. angel, xiuwen etc etc all need to study. time is limited.. and like hafta neet up before i go to thailand for hols. baby shifted house yesterdae.. i went to the new house on sat, wanted to stay over but mi mum dun allow, ended up taking a cab.. not cheap, k.. fmr her place back to mine plus the midnight charge. mum refused to pay... m soo angry with her.. let mi stay overnight and i dun hafta spend a cent wad! 5 more daes to organ exams... stressed... hopefully i wld do well, i wan to do well. goin over to baby's place to stay on sat. haven't told mum yet. haik, haven't spend enough time with her ever since... last week? i miss her.. and i miss xiuwen, angel and xinying too! and yansing.. tt girl ar, ever since our french klass ended.. and she didn't go for the last lesson summore, haven't been keepin in touch much.. dunno wad is she busy with. gosh, i wan to stop work soooonn... den can enjoy... mi and cf even wrote down all the places we wld go after we quit and all the things we wanna do.. i can't wait!

todae is such a terrible dae. had an argument with baby last night, didn't get much sleep and woke up very early this morning... aniwae, sorrie baby... i hafta admit i m not sensitive enough. and work is still as tiring as ever.. many unpleasant thing happened. cf and i wanted to quit even before the 10th cos tt girl cannot stand it animore and she even agreed to pay mi for mi losses.. but ultimately, we need to ask frankie about it and haik, he sae he cannot find replacement so he cannot release us. =( went home this afternoon in the rain. was so cold and drenched... it's been such a long time since it rained and yet, i hafta be in it.. and can't enjoy it.. wtf... was practically shivering while waitin for bus at the bus stop. it's really terrible... i dun feel good... never meet baby todae.. =( i miss her tho she can be soo annoying and irritating at times....

4 continuous daes of full shift and i feel as if half of mi is dying... mi feets hurts, mi whole body aches... cf and ys went to watch movie todae... laws of attraction.. i hate this show manz.. this show has sumthing against mi.. always dun get to watch it one.. 16 more daes to freedom and liberty... can't wait! m confirm goin thailand in the third week of june.. can't wait manz... dere are many things for mi to look forward to in the mth of june. must meet up with everyone.. catch up, gossip... dress up blah blah blah.. cannot wait. m working half dae tmr, den cuming back to practise mi organ.. must do well... gosh.. m sooo tired... and i miss mi baby alot..

she has her own life and i have mine too. how many time must i repeat this thought in mi head. she dun owe mi any explanation and i dun owe her any too. we are two diff pple frm two diff worlds, wad can i sae... she has been very nice to mi... i m not very mean to her too... m confused wad i wan or rather wad can i wan frm her. how much can she offer or rather how much is she willing to offer to mi. maybe this type is not wad i wan. m not a person for this... gosh.. m goin a little mad and paranoid.... it happens when one is feeling down.... =(

it's been such a long time since i last blogged. myabe it wasn't tt long after all. not much things happened, m still me stuck at work. feeling as if i didn't spent quality time with my baby and also all mi frens out dere. haven't been updating dem and haven't let dem update mi abt their lives. actualli looking forward to the 6th of june cos it's the last dae tt i wld work but m extending it, dun ask mi y, it's all due to the root of all evil-- money. and it's also cos of mi organ exam on the 5th. teacher has requested mi to take off daes a few daes before 5th... and in order to make up for those off daes, m extending mi last dae of work to maybe until the 10th? =( very tired. everything's so boring and so down. everything's so demoralising like wad cf said. 17 yrs old... is this how we wanna spend our time before we start sch. cf wans to quit but she feels bad abt leaving mi there. i told her i wld be fine yet sub consciously, m making her feel bad.. wad's wrong with mi. i just can't stand loneliness yea? wad's wrong with mi.. i m the one hu wants the money.. y m i making cf suffer... m just selfish... i noe tt... m not a saint... can't go ard making everyone happy when i m not feelin tt good miself... work is terrible.. exams are coming.. it's horrible... dun even noe whether i wld pass, waste of money and time if i dun. make mayne pple disappointed if i dun esp mi teacher and baby. teacher sae if i do well, she wld allow mi to skip da next grade.. baby sae if i do well, she wld give mi a BIG treat and a movie.. very attractive... maybe it's just not in mi. i m not interested in music right frm the start... have been dragging on for ten over yrs... =( wad happened to mi dream of completing music before i m 20? wad happened to all mi dreams.. everything's realli not goin well for mi... used to have frens ard mi supporting mi. mi frens are all busy now... m shure dey give mi moral support but it's just not the same... just read finish everyone's blog.. hmmm.. wad can i sae.. m soo un updated...

was quite angry with bb this morning. she lah! told mi last night she wld cum and pick mi up and go have breakfast together den dis morn, she overslept, i cldn't even wake her up cos she cldn't even hear the fone! was quite diasppointed. mi bb is such a lazy pig and as usual.. i cldn't get angry with her for long. she and tt tongue of hers... ahaha.. aniwae, it's been such a tiring dae for me, dunno why.. very sian... almost wanted to leave work at 6 in the evening and leave cf dere alone but in the end, cldn't bear to do it.. i noe even if i cum home, i wun feel at ease. m very very tired... m working earli shifts in the following week.. tired.... i tink i better start planning mi time well. organ exam cuming... and 3 more weeks to quitting.. can't wait.. can't wait to get pay too.. m feeling rather broke.. m practically living off cf these daes... dad is mad.. first sae thailand is very dangerous.... and he sae malaysia also dangerous.. dun care! m going tioman.. or wherever for an holidae before mi sch starts... and tt's final.. it's sumthing i look forward and motivate mi to pass this bloody may... may is such a long mth.... tired.... realised i haven't been understanding towards mi bb this few daes.. sorry yea.... m just being oversensitive and overly emotional.. ahahha.. wad's new..

dun feel good all over. woke up this morning with an ultra dry throat. ve a few ulcers in mi mouth. everything hurts. feel like a dying person. everything ard mi seemed so demoralising sumhow. todae working afternoon shift. this is so contradicting. i want to earn more money yet i wan to work lesser hrs, wad's wrong with mi. organ exam is coming real soon, da date is out. i m not doin well, dunno izzit due to lack of practise or wad, i m just not getting there. i feel like i wld fail badly this time. mi teacher is not being very encouragin.. everything is getting soo horrible. b is not having a smooth time too. things are getting pretty rough over at her side so i dun wish to bother her as much as i can. i m right.. may is indeed a horrible month. i can't wait for it to be over... da number of pple tt i can actualli tok and whine to is decreasing... i do feel very demoralised... everything is just not goin mi way....

happy mama's dae! went vietro to celebrate mother's dae... mi uncle's idea of cos. big family celebration is not da same without mi dearest debbie... it just feel diff. niwae, got to tok to her for a while cos she called just now... found out many things... i miss her alot. toda'es celebration started quite late and ended earli... it felt kinda rushy... usually wld end later one.. maybe cos vietro had to close and mi uncle got sumwhere else to go. tmr goin sp for enrolment... it's surprising how fast time flies.... it felt onli daes ago when i just got mi enrolment package.. and tmr is mi enrolment dae liao! going with ys.. gotta wake up damn earli... ahahha.. todae's mi off dae!!! sooo tiring to work nowadaes... everything seemed soo meaningless and repetitive... quite sian.. no sense of achievement... i can feel frm cf tt she is very tired already.. now, even the money is not an attractive factor animore to both of us.. we just can't wait to stop work.. planning to quit on the first week of june... cf cannot take it animore.. and neither can i... n da worse thing.. she hafta work more than mi cos i gotta prepare for mi organ exam end of this mth... scared she wld break down... dun wan her to.. noe she's quite stressed up.. sorry, mi fren... tmr's mi off dae again! good for mi... but cf's not too glad about it.... weather's soo hot nowadaes.... make everyone very grumpy.... niwae.. i miss mi darling....

went to singapore expo yesterdae for the robinsons' sales with mi baby.. tot it wld be very crowded but it was quite alright. maybe cos it's onli this first dae. bb sae fri and sat wld ve the most pple. neway, m glad we went dere on the first dae... dere's still many many things.. and the promoters dere are very friendly ahaha, dunno if the last dae which is dis cuming sun wld be damn packed.. aniwae, yesterdae and todae is mi off dae.. got two off daes this week. simply cannot take it at work already. but cf also ve two off daes.. and tmr is her off dae.. =( which means m working full shift.. soo sian! summore tmr is ys' chalet... all of our frens wld be gg over in da evening or maybe late evening for the bbq and i hafta go dere after work.. by the time i reached dere, all our frens wld be gone... dun even noe got food anot.. m staying overnight at the chalet tmr... asked bb to go with mi and she sae see how first, dun realli dare to stress her or press her for the ans... but i realli do hope she can go with mi lor... wld be damn happy if she agreed. bb very scary these daes.. maybe cos of pms.. her temper is ultra bad.. and she gets tired easily... dunno how long cani keep giving in to her.. wad to do... can never get angry with her for long. neway. went for the medical checkup already. mi darling went with mi yesterdae.. hee.. it was 22 bucks.. mum gave mi 50 bucks.. and i haven't return her the balance.. which is quite bad.. m goin to return her soon. m quite happy cos i finally received mi pay.. tho the sum is not alot... but m still happy to see tt mi hard work in turns of cash.. ahahha... i miss mi baby alot. these daes, feel quite insecure.. hope everything wld be fine and it's just mi being oversensitive...

mi right eye hurts da whole dae todae. sumthing is wrong with mi contacts and i tink it's cos mi contacts are overdue, shld have changed it. even when i removed it now, my eye is still tearing die lah... wad if i get eye infection? neway, woke up damn earli this morning cos mi darling piggy for once asked mi out for breakfast! both of us start work at ten den we decided to have macs breakfast together. she was even earlier than mi... which is quite rare. after breakfast, went over to suntec to start mi opening. cos i prepared alot before i closed yesterdae nite so opening was easy. even had time to watch tv and wait for cf to cum at 11. everytime i work half dae, tend to slack alot. todae, i even ended work half and hr earli to go meet mi baby and asked cf to pucnh out the card for mi. b and i hanged ard town until it was time for mi to go french klass. m realli quite tired and mi eyes realli hurt soo i stoned alot todae. neway, m a bad bad girl. ve been irritating ys alot these daes. first, it's da chalet. told her i was gonna share with her. make her go check out the rates, this and that den in the end pang seh her. she was realli pissed and todae, promised to have dinner with her and i once again pang seh her cos of b. felt quite bad... but b and i spending lesser and lesser time together... sooo.. haik... m just a bad bad girl. sorry ys... went for french klass.. it's getting more and more confusing when i m not even very sure of mi basics. cldn't realli concentrate due to mi hurting eye. after klass, went to eat long johns AGAIN with ys. seemed as if long johns is our permanant place to go after klass every wed, ahaha. mi eye hurts.. tink i hafta start wearing spects.. yuck.. sooo ugly.. haik.. wad to do, hafta save mi eyes before it's too late. it's mi off dae tmr! shld be very happy but cos got organ lesson as well, sian... b's off dae is tmr... hmmm, she dun seem keen in goin out with mi.. i noe wad's da reason.. can't blame her.. aniwae, i miss mi baby.. once again, she's out tonite...

haven't been blogging cos ever since last week after mi two off daes, have been working non stop, 12 hrs everydae. and even mi off dae which is on wed was quite packed, having to wake up earli in the morn to pracrise mi organ. den had organ lesson den rushed down to simei to do mi hair then rush for french klass. it's getting more diff to catch up in french... can't wait for the course to be over.. at least can get it over and done with and get mi cert. i even fell asleep durin klass and ys had to wake mi up... soo embarrassing. neway, met baby on tues. she came to suntec to wait for mi to finish mi work den we went tiong bahru market to eat... met her on wed too.. she came and pick mi up after mi french klass... it was a surprise... but i was very happy to see her. den on thurs, she finished work earli and came to wait for mi at suntec again... and we went tiong bahru to eat again.. dunno y dis time, eat until after midnight soo as usual, i was feeling lazy soo i requested to take a cab... haik.. spent 24 bucks on cab fare leh.. now i noe.. baby and i are realli two ends away frm each other. da cab driver was rather scary tho. he kept looking at mi thru and mirror and he tok non stop.. very tired but i didn't dare to fall aslp. baby very nice tt dae, she bought mi this special kaya roll for mi to try.. it was realli not too bad.. she ar.. too nice already... dunno whether got do guilty things anot... tt's y soo nice to mi.. ahahhaa, todae baby's off and she wld be off 2 daes in a roll.. lucki manz! i went for the ij concert.. ij choir's first concert!! cool!! dey improved quite alot... and ar.. ms tham remembers mi!! yay!! sooo happy... soo nice to see all mi juniors too!! =) had fun todae.... sian... tmr hafta work... =(

todae's mi second off dae of the week. i was also off yesterdae. cf had her share of off daes.. mon and tues. frm tmr until sundae, we wld be sloggin our lives out at suntec foodcourt, ahaha but it wld be fun, hopefully. aniwae, ve been a good gurl all dae. stated at home, practised mi organ and mi organ techer came. promised baby tt i wld go read and settle the enrolment thingy. i received the enrolment package about 5 daes ago, i tink. actualli, it was a promise to mi mum also. she ar, have been naggin and naggin at mi to go read the enrolment package and brief her about it. and so, i better go do it. had a small little tok with baby yesterdae. tot about things between mi and her... the pix came clearer to mi now. everything's just not as beautiful as i painted it out to be. it has been like tt right frm the beginning... but i m fine, realli. i just hafta learn how to accept facts. i wld definitely learn alot of things and become a better person after i step out of this... this i can forsee.

ooo... wad a rainy dae. woke up this morn and it was raining. do u noe how difficult it is to drag misef up tt comfy bed to go work. i m gg to contradict miself.. but i hate to work, yet on the other hand, when i was out of work, i complained i was too bored. but it was really tiring todae. worked till 3 todae and cf came to take over mi shift. after work, went to gm's hse to eat poh piah.. it is poh piah dae todae. was rainin quite heavily again and this time, i had to walk under da rain to gm's hse. it wasn't very very heavy but heavy enough to get mi all soaked. i immediately took a bath after i reached her hse. den ate the vegetarian rice tt baby bought for mi then i wrapped sum poh piah for her. baby left work earli todae and we went tm to catch a show. watched prince and me. typical type of fairy tale lor... baby said the poh piah was good but the garlic was too strong.. even now, i still can smell garlic in mi mouth.. ewww... after the show, we went foodcourt to eat den had to go home liao. i m quite tired... it's gonna be a longgg week ahead of mi.. m quite dreadin tues... baby still on da way home now.. poor little thing... ahahha.. wad to do.. tampines is just too far away

went out with yansing and chinfang to shop todae. it's soo satisfying, just tt i ended up owing yansing money again. but m realli happy... everything wld be perfect.. this whole week wld be perfect if it's not cos i hafta work until closing at the foodcourt tmr with all the aunties. the aunties dere are all hypocrites. one moment, dey can laugh with u and da next thing, dey can just go tok bad about u behind ur back.. i wan cf to work with mi.. wld feel better.. wld feel more secure.. sigh... m dreading it... baby's fren frm taiwan came back singapore for a hol and mi baby went clubbing tonite.. wad's new.. just another boring nite for mi. didn't realli get to spent enough time with her since tues.. i miss her lots! and the best part is while i m suffferin at the foodcourt tmr.. she's off... realli wanna go out with her... but guess she mite not want.. she always sae i eat into her off dae.. and she can't rest @ home properly... tink she wld want to rest at home tmr.. piggy...

had two very very happy daes in a row... i feel soooo blessed and contented... felt like i m da happiest gurl on earth. but can be quite scary.. usually after happy happy daes... i shure have mi fair share of realli down daes... ahahha.. m tinkin too much yea? hmm... well, let mi start frm yesterdae. baby got her pay yesterdae. it's a time of enjoyment for the both of us. accompanied her to science park den to holland v to get her hair cut.. it was a long wait.. got quite bored, den decided to walk ard holland v.. ahhaha.. i noe i m quite dumb but it's onli mi third visit there.. after she had her haircut... went to town to to a mini shopping... went zara and i saw phoebe, mi darling dotter dere! she was in da fitting room and she just happened to open when i walk past.. ahahha.. i was realli realli happy to see her... nice surprise den tried on many skirts... i realli liked to own one of dem... however... it's too ex.. den went mango... baby got mi a top dere.. such a sweetie... muaks! ahahha, den went to check up on her eyes... the optician said her eye infection is getting worse and kinda refered her to a specialist.. moods were quite affected to tink of the money tt has to be spent on da specialist. den we took a bus to bugis cos we wanted to go bugis village. went fish and co to eat.. we were being quite greedy.. ordered food tt we can't finish... spent quite sum time dere... den in da end, didn't get to go bugis village and shop. aniwae... when i got home.. got a hell of scolding fmr mum for gettin tt mango top.. cldn't tell her sumone bought it for mi.. she nagged and nagged.. i almost died! aniwae.. todae's mi off dae! had organ lesson or shld i sae a sharing session. she came @ one and we tok till 3.... i didn' even touch mi organ @ all.. updating each other on our lives... mi teacher said many things worth for mi to tink about more thoroughly... she's right about woman hafta be strong... even without love.. aniwae... she ar.. got mi late for my meeting with cf.. went town with cf... got the intentiom to get a top wan.. but sumhow or another.. none of the tops look good on mi todae.. wad's wrong manz... den went lips to eat with her... wad's wrong with mi lor.. quite broke yet wanna eat good foood. after tt.. we actualli walk frm town back to city hall cos i wanted to give mi baby a surprise and waited for her to take a bus back with her... cf is damn nice!! she walked with mi... i realli realli appreciated it dear fren.. =) was quite high towards the end of the nite already... =) tmr working with cf till closing.. m lookin forward.... ahahhaha

this is sooo irritating!!! mi frens went to shop without mi! at first, i tot dey onli did window shopping but no!!! dey bought alot alot of things!!! i m deprived!! deprived of shopping! cannot find the time to shop.. cannot find anyone to go shop with mi but worst of all... no cash!!! this sucks!!! i wan money... i wan new clothes! grrrrr... this is soooooo irritating.. m sooo angry.... i need SHOPPING!!!

i finally start work liao... tho quite tiring but it's much better than slacking at home. however ar, todae's business not very good so got alot of free time to tink also. m quite worried about mi job now. i feel tt i might be sacked anytime... cos it's still under vietro.. and this company has to cut cost mah. sian... tt means i still hafta keep a tight lookout for jobs... so amelia, i m fine at the foodcourt, just bored and of cos tired cos hafta stand down there for a few number or hrs. mi body and legs are aching. and angel, u noe ar, for 16th april... u might either onli see mi or cf. cos now tt we are working at the same place.. both of us can't possibly get off on the same dae and same time mah... gosh.. i m really quite tired.. tmr working half dae.. but star work at ten.. better go recuperate now..

haik... wan to watch a show also so difficult. baby intend to leave the store earli todae to catch a show with mi but the show timing not very good. she dun realli dare to leave earli in case slam. i m tinking ar.. sumtimes might be fated. like fated we can't catch a show together todae or she can't meet mi todae or sumthing. haik haik.... read chinese horoscope yesterdae. dey sae mi horoscope and her horoscope not a good match at all.. sae wun last long and tt need alot of compromise... of cos i choose not to believe or rather.. i dun wan to believe... but she ar... believe in horoscope quite alot... m quite affected by it. haik haik haik.... soo troubled now... dunno whether still wan to watch the show anot. i noe even if she leave earli.. she will feel quite worried cos if anything do happen, she will get the blame... soo wad's the pt of getting her out earli when she will keep tinkin about the store... i wan to be more understanding... but i realli damn long never see her already... HAIK.. i miss her...

i m confirm working at the foodcourt already. tmr's mi last dae of enjoyment and good smell, ahaha. mi shifts next week is not soo bad, still managable, not as tough as the other time when i was working at the foodcourt. sooo this leaves mi time to practise mi organ and also do other things. woke up earli this morning and den went to cash in mi cheque. after tt, went bugis temple to pray den walk ard bugis... wanted to do sum shoppin but somehow, mi mood's not in it. den i found a quiet place and sat down to do sum reading... after tt, i walked over to suntec and accompanied cf for quite sumtime... until close to 8 i guess. wanted to meet my dar tonite cos quite long never see her but tink she meeting sumone else and also, i guessed she's tired... yawns... just staying at the foodcourt todae kinda drained out all mi energy and made mi smell a little fishy too.. can't imagine when i start work dere. i miss mi dar.. hopefully, tmr can get to meet her cos i wld start work on mon liao... tmr's qing ming... not shure if i hafta wake up earli to go out with family.... tiredzz

i realli dun wanna work at the fast food place so i kinda jumped at the offer to go back to the foodcourt to work. aniwae, besides tt i hated it alot once and it realli makes mi stink after working dere, i dun see why not. the pay is quite reasonable and the best part is i wld have cf with mi.. sooo i m not scared. maybe i wld just die on cf's off dae or sumthing but i figured out i wld suffer both at the fast food place and at foodcourt so y not foodcourt if i got cf with mi. aniwae, not very shure if i can get the job, things wld be more confirmed tmr. hafta settle sum stuff and inform the necessary pple. hee, guess i m still a worker of vietro after all.. just hope things wld be smooth sailing. realli praying damn hard. realli wan to start work asap.. m already rotting at home. received mi pay todae.. it's pathetic.. dun even noe can last mi for a week or not.. bleah.... wish mi luck tmr... bb went clubbing again... sooo bored... aniwae, mi and cf wanted to watch movie todae since we got the cash but apparently, we dun ve any luck. walked to bugis.. dey dun ve any anice shows on.. den went cine.. dun ve.. den lido... ended up sitting at starbucks and chatting... toking abt how nice if we got to work together... realli hope i can start work dere soon.. =) dis is da onli thing i can look forward to.

todae's a good good dae. went to da salon in the afternoon with mummy cos todae's her off dae. den went to parkway to meet amelia. it's been sooo long since i last saw her. as in go out with her and chit caht. saw her last week at funan tho, together with the energy fans. she cldn't get out of the q.. tt's y we cldn't realli catch up.. aniwae, we went giant after meeting up.. intending to find the cut watermelon which she claims the giant at IMM have but we cldn't find any. den we bought bread and chips and found a seat the da shopping centre, sat dere, ate and tok cock. it is fun... it feels soo long since i last enjoyed miself without having to tink abt anything else. den after tt, went foodcourt to ve our dinner. saw alot of vj pple... amelia sae vj's fav hangout place is parkway parade. aniwae, we ate kway chap.. ordered a meal and share, very economical.. ahaha..den we got to eat our cut watermelon!! ahaha.. ve been craving for watermelon since last nite cos she kept tempting mi... after tt, we walked all the way towards katong side and took a bus. on the way dere... amelia keep saying how good it wld be if she has a blog... den she started tellin mi wad she want to blog.. like how boring was orietation @ vj todae was.. and how happy and excited she is to meet mi.. ahahhaha... amelia.. i noe u love mi!!! =) haven't seen mi baby for 2 daes... miss her!

i finally fell sick. =( actualli, i kinda felt it coming cos these few daes, not feeling very good. guess, it's just accumulation lor. i wld see it as a good cause. after i recover, everything's gonna start anew. i dun wan to be the weak little girl i was for the past few daes. m gonna keep mi life occupied.. i figured out tt wld be the best way for mi right now. need to divert mi attention away frm her. she ar.. sooo un gentle todae... i sick ar... also dunno how to show concern wan leh. kinda slacked at home the whole dae todae.. cldn't find the energy to do anything else except watching tv... tmr's gonna be a better dae!

woke up at 11. haven't done anything at all. haven't eat a proper breakfast. haven't bathed. mi mind is in a blank. i dunno wad to think, wad to do, feel so unmotivated. i dunno if i've done the right thing to cling on to it. i realli dun wan to be hurt again but by clinging on, the chances of her hurting mi seemed pretty high. clinging on.. i dun even noe wad m i clinging on to. pple are concerned for mi. i noe. so dey tell mi to give up and get over it. it's not easy... if i can do so, i wun even cling on. i want to noe exactly wad's she tinking. mi mind is in a blank... can't focus on anything... i need to tok to sumone.. but hu...

"shld we put a stop to this... sorrie"
how am i not supposed to get hurt when she tell this dis... dis morning. i told her it's so unfair to mi. she said she dun wan us to get hurt even more in da future. cos da amt of hurt wld increase as da daes go by. it's realli unfair. i m hurt not cos her ans to mi is still a no but cos i tot we were getting on pretty fine and she sudenly just brought this issue up. i noe this issue has been dere all the while but y must she bring it up.. out of nowhere. had a long lengthy tok with her... we are fine now.. but i can't help tinking what wld happen if she brings it up again.. i really dun tink i can take it... i realli like her alot. supposed to go out with angel, cf and xw todae.. apparently.. i dun ve da mood. and the best part is angel and cf came mi hse todae. cos like first sae go cf's hse... den xw cannot make it.. den sae go xw's hse.. but damn far.. i dun feel like travelling... den in the end, decided to cum mi hse... i guessed we kinda made angel quite pissed. guess she's realli looking forward to todae wan leh... den like we dun ve any concrete plans or anything.. and summore venue change soo many times.. and mi hse very far away mah.. den da best part is when dey are over @ mi hse.. didn't ve the time to entertain dem. cos jie and deborah were online... den had to tok to dem.. miss both of dem alot.. it's been long since i tok to dem mah.. den jie kinda wanna dif out mi love life.. soo i told her a little... she kinda advised mi to give up lor. she sae it's not worth it or sumthing... told her i realli like mi dear lot... but she asked mi.. how much do i noe her to like her.. and sae i haven't seen enough pple and the world to noe wad's true liking or even true love... which is true.. but i noe i was damn hurt this morning... i realli dun wanna lose her.. glad things r fine now. told jie wld tink thru wad she said... but i guessed i wld still make da same chioce..

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....

todae's mi second french klass. was taught more todae... sooo a little harder to catch up. back to the basics such as verb, adverb, forming questions blah blah. i better go revise them later. the rest of the klass seem to be catchin up with no prob so i must work hard also, wun wan to waste money go dere learn nothing. dis week is term holidae so organ teacher wun be coming.. tre bien... cos i didn't practise at all since the last time she left. better start tmr, promised baby i wld do it. aniwae, kinda found a job already but it's at a new fast food concept place. dere wld be training before work officially starts. pay same as vietro. training wld start on the 29th.. tt means frm now to the 29th, i wld be slacking away. aniwae, m sick and tired working as a waitress. furthermore, dun wanna work in a fastfood type of place leh...i m not a very fast person to start with.. sian.. tinking of doin admin stuff or maybe as sales girl. actualli, if it's not cos got no income, i dun even feel like working animore... but no chioce.. dun wanna stay at home and hear mum nag non stop abt not getting a job and m realli realli broke nowadaes. can't wait for poly to open school in a way... haik. baby went clubbing todae.. it's been a long time since she went clubbing. i shldn't be upset or anything cos it's a time for her to do sum catching up with her frens but i realli wan to go with her lor. tmr is cf's offdae... haven't plan anything yet... and surprisingly, no one call and ask mi about it.. and tt silly xinying.. haven't reply whether can she make it.. dun tink she's in singapore leh.. cos called her hp and it's off... aiyah.. head damn pain!

yawnz.. good morning... didn't have a good sleep last night. was already falling aslp when suddenly jolted awake... dunno y.. den after a long time, finally got to slp... woke up suddenly at 6.. i m always tired after being unable to slp peacefully thru the night. hate to wake up suddenly out of nowhere and den will ve a hard time to get back to slp wan... neway, yesterdae afternoon was a mad rush. was actualli rotting at home when suddenly cf call and she cannot stop crying... i was soo worried tt i took a damn quick bath and rush down to suntec... took a cab.. ys also rushed down frm her church.. actualli, wad happened was tt cf cldn't take da stress working at suntec foodcourt... i guess it must ve been very tough... i mean after all, tho she's v capable and tolerant, she's still 17... i guess she shld be fine by now.. will arrange a dae so tt all of us can go out.. and help her to relax and enjoy or sumthing... =) watched butterfly effect yest... it's a goood show! u can't even stop concentrating for a sec... it feels like if u just blink.. u wld miss out alot.. i love the show! =) gg for an interview later... and a job search.. can't stand being at home, doin nothing... no income.. no life..

this is no good. ve been slacking for an entire week already. didn't put an effort to go look for job. neither did i put an effort in practising the organ. haik, wad's wrong with mi. went out with winnie yesterdae. went funan due to mi little request. guess it was a bad chioce to go funan all thanks to those energy fans who cldn't stop screaming.. it can be quite irritating when u are trying to talk over dinner and havin to raise ur voice cos u can't hear each other. aniwae, amelia was at funan. it's been quite long since i saw her and she finally passed mi the notebook... =) after dinner, we left funan and headed to town to get her wax.. ahaha, i noe nothing about wax lor.. den sat at paragon to chi chat... wanted to tok to her longer but need to end off earli cos dear finished work liao den went to eat supper with dear. yesterdae, baby and i chatted for quite a long time before falling aslp. it's quite a miracle cos usually ard one am or so, she wld fall aslp on mi.. chatted till 3 plus... it was a good tok... wadever the situation is now... m not prepared to leave her.. hope she feels da same way too.. not sure if meeting her later... but i miss her..

had mi first french klass yesterday. hmmm, it was errr.... not too bad. i found it quite hard to catch up tho. yansing also. the teacher spoke with a french accent, which makes it even harder for mi to understand her. but overall.. it was not too bad... learnt quite alot of things.. hopefully, the next lesson wld be better.. =) woke up not too long ago, still out of job. y didn't anyone call mi yet? haik, organ teacher cuming in less than half an hr's time.. so sian. didn't practise at all lor... when she cums, she wld most prob nag and nag non stop again.. mi organ exams are coming sooon.. real sooon... die lah... everything's sooo frustrating... aniwae, goin out with dz later.. =) sooo sweet of her to msg mi again and date mi yeterdae tt i found it hard to reject her even if it means i hafta rush like mad. better go bathe and touch the orgain for a while... or else ar.... hear no end frm mi teacher manz

tho i stopped working liao, still went down to funan for the past 2 daes. cannot resist goin down to see mi baby... hee. now still got time to do all the travelling but wait till school starts, dun tink wld have the time.. m gonna miss mi baby soo much den. but i shall not think about it now. aniwae, tmr.. mi french klass startin liao! sooo exciting yea... and sorrie mi ever dearest junior tt i can't go out with u tmr.. m realli realli sorrie.... i tink she's angry with mi. dun be, k... we wld go out another dae.. soon... =) m still slacking around, waiting for pple to call mi and give mi the job... aniwae... better go bathe and wait for her call. tmr's gonna be a beautiful dae!

gooood morning!! slept till now. guess i m officially out of job already. dun tink mi company wld want mi back after the one wk break. aniwae, found another job liao but tt one ar, working hrs quite little.. dun tink i can earn much leh. gosh... need to find another job.... on top of mi new found one. haven't been practisng organ for days... haven't been reading the papers for days... i feel so slacked once again. gosh.. better do sumthing about it. aniwae, baby asked mi a question yest which caught mi dere. she asked if we wld drift apart.. at tt pt of time.. i just shook mi head confidently... but now ar... i m not so confident. mi ans wld be i dun wan to drift away yet at the same time, i m not shure wad wld happen. she predicted tt the full shift almost everydae wld last for one mth. she wld be sooo busy and tired with work all this while... gosh.. i really hope nothing wld happen between us while we are apart... dun wanna lose her... got many many movies i wanna watch.... got many many things i wanna buy... money not enough already.... maybe i need 3 jobs instead... ahhaa. mum's on leave todae.. boring... hafta face her at home. she wanted to ask mi out to ve dinner with grandma.. her mum... but i already have a date with baby... hmmm... tmr goin back to sch... for thanksgiving mass.. =)

went to nyjc to watch a play. actually, it was more of going there to support xiu wen, mi ever dearest girlfriend! tho she's not one of da cast, i m still very nice to her leh... bought tix frm her. went there with baby... tink baby tot it was a little boring but i can tell tt she really enjoy sum parts which were pretty funny. after da play, felt a little weak.. in da sense tt no energy was left in mi.. dunno y... felt a little sick. baby gg clubbing tonight. it was really sweet of her to act. call and ask mi whether she can go... cos she's having an eye infection and those places realli make her eyes worse. she went on tues liao and true enough, her eyes got worse.... aniwae. i let her go cos baby very poor thing. the whole of next week, she practically got no life at all. which brings mi to another v important issue. mi company is cutting cost and da whole of next week, i do not need to report for work.. i kinda tink i got "retrenched". i must start looking for a second job already. even if the company still wans mi.. mi workin hrs wld be GREATLY reduced... sooo it wld be better to look for another job... still need to do sumthing before i start sch in july. lesser working hrs means i wld get to see her lesser. and also cos she has to work full shift.... can hardly meet up lor.... =( i m gonna miss her alot. aniwae... ve registered... i m gonna take banking and finace in sp.. and da best part of it all is ys is cuming with mi! yay!!! and also.. i ve changed fone.. not using tt ugly samsung fone... changed to nokia 6100. nothing impressive but m just holding this fone until da new fone cums out.... den i can trade this in and buy new fone... =) i miss her... alot...

i m very very happy these two daes!! i did well for mi o's and to mi surprise, it was extremely well. didn't expect miself to get tt kind of resutls... thnx everyone for giving mi the necessary comfort when i needed them. thnx for motivating mi and tellin mi i can do it... i did it! ahaha... aniwae, mi confirm goin to a poly. i figure out tt even if i go to a jc now, dere's no way i can ever catch up and like the a's is just next yr. i wld be damn stressed up so wad for i put miself into tt kind of situation again. nw just considering wad courses to take and to choose between na and sp. die lah.. wad if by wed, i still cannot decide wad i wan... aniwae, after collecting results on fri, went to town for a celebration. went seoul's to eat. wanted to go k box but too ex. den after seoul's, ys and i decided to go for a drink. angel and cf didn't want... ys practically paid for the whole dinner and da drinks for mi so now, all in all, i owe her 50 bucks... haik, mi pay this mth ar.. not enough for mi expanses lor. mi company ar.. esp mi manager frankie is all big cheater.. he ar.. sae cos i had gd results, must treat all of them to seafood and drinks. can u believe it.. gd results does not equals to money and cash!!! after da drinks... baby came to pick mi up in town den we went to east coast to chill out... it was a nice nite... didn't reach hm until 2.. mum didn't nag soo much cos i told her i needed the celebration! last night... went out with baby after work. we went to watch movie... hmmm... it wasn't exceptionally nice... but quite ok lah.. den we went to this vietnamese restaurant to try their food. hmmm.. it was not too bad.. da price also quite reasonable... we like doin a market survey leh.. comparing other viet rest. food to ours... den after tat.. went to this open air place to have a little drink.. sat dere.. see stars.. tok tok.. hee... was a very nice night. took cab home tho. and when i came home.. mum noticed i drank.. blah blah.. and she just cannot stop nagging. mi head already hurts like hell. soo i told her it wld really work if she just shut up! aniwae... tink mi skin ar.. quite sensitive to alcohol... which is bad... aniwae.. i tink i put on weight... grew fatter!!! die lah.... baby sure sae put on a little more also nvm but cannot! ahaha.. aniwae.. gg out with her later... miss her.. =)

mi dearest cousin, debbie left for perth yesterdae evening. many pple went to send her off... including her diff grps of frens. it is the dae we are all preparing for long ago.. and now, she's over at perth. tot i wld shed buckets of tears but i didn't cry yesterdae. it just felt very sad inside.. knowing tt i can't turn to her conveniently if i need anyone. there wld be no one to guide mi along.. no one to nag a little at mi... i m gonna miss her soo much... she's right when she once said. things wld be diff when she comes back cos pple change and the surroundings change too. not shure we wld have this bond anymore. there wld be the effort being put in to keep in touch... but she is right... pple do drift apart whether we liked it anot... =\ aniwae.. todae's mi off dae! lalala... slacked like hell todae.. practised a little organ tho. feb gonna end soon. results are coming out soon and mi payday is goin to come soon too. a brand new start for mi to get out of mi laziness. a start for mi to stop depending on her so much cos i realli ve no idea when is she gonna leave mi. better start learning how to be a strong and independent girl... damn tired now.... better go rest.. tmr's a long dae at work.

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was quite disapponited this morning. debbie leaving tmr and like tonite, the be-na-brah supposed to have a nite feast.. it's like the last nite feast before she leave.. kinda planned it quite long ago yet ar.. debbie got her own plans tonite and dun even noe mi cousin noes abt it anot... went to work as usual. todae is mi being a vegetarian dae.. ahaha. found out tt tampines got a foodcourt tt has great vegetarian food. even she agreed tt da food is great... she kinda cheered mi up quite abit todae cos she was soo lame and cranky... hee and cute at the same time.. it realli brings a smile to mi lor... after work, waited for yansing and we went to sign up for the french course.... it's gonna start on 10th march.. hee.. can't wait. den after we break our vegetarian period at 6.. went tiong bahru to have dinner... tiong bahru plaza is actualli not too bad.. shld go there more often... got alot of stuff to look at and dere's a pasar malam dere tt's gonna last for 16 daes! cool!!! ahahha... i love pasar malams!!!tmr gonna wake up earli cos big boss wants 300 salad roll for acjc's funfair.. his son is fmr dere mah so we workers hafta go dere earli to help wrap... ahahha.. need to be dere by 8... tink i better go slp nw.. can't take it animore....

alot of pple is complaining tt i dun have a life. or i dun have time for dem.. saying i m always very busy and hard to reach... it is not true, k! i still reply sms wad.... aniwae, did self reflection. realised tt i can't just slack until sch starts in july and let mi brain rot and die... n also mi life can't just revolve ard her and work... make mi sound soo useless. had a little argument with her yest.. however wad she said all make sense... i need to do sum plannin for mi future and not wait until july soo da basic thing to do is to start with mi organ... haven't been touching it for yrs... teacher complaining liao and like she keeps naggin abt how near mi exams are cuming.. which is end of march i tink... gotta do well... wanna complete grade 8 and maybe a diploma all before 20... or maybe 21.... and started reading newspapers.. sumthing which i realli dun like in the past.. even if i read in the past, i wld read newpaper.. cos i tink it's more interesting but now i m actualli reading straits time... she actualli bought a copy for mi todae and sae i better read until the papers rot and tear.. ahahhaa... i m also tinking of learning a foreign lang. most prob french.. gonna get yansing to learn with mi... kk... i feel a little motivated.. =) which is good.. hee

sobz. why is everyone in sch now. m feeling realli down and shitty now. i need to complain to sumone, need to tok to sumone yet i cannot find anyone. da best part is i wun start work till 4 and tt leaves mi alot of time to tink at home. da more i tink, da worse i feel. it all started when she called mi last nite, or rather earli this morn when she got home after clubbing. ya, it's her tt's affecting me. hu esle can it be at this pt of time. hate dis kinda feeling. it just shows tt she's getting more and more impt to mi to affect mi this bad. realli hate miself. hate miself for crying to sleep last night. i told miseld when things are under this kind of unknown situation, never let miself get hurt and not to drop a single tear. this is da second time. and da worse thing is... i hate miself for putting in soo much when she is not. i m not asking her to make a decision but the fact tt she has to consider things already depressed mi liao. i m not impt to her enough for her not to consider other things and just make a chioce. grrrr.... this is irritating mi.. and affecting mi badly... y can't i treat things lightly... ya.. i noe the reason.. i ve sunk quite deeply... i noe no matter how things ended up.. i wld get hurt through the process and ultimately at da end. this is bad... i realli hate miself for being so wishy- washy.... sumone just give mi a tight slap and wake mi up frm this....

mi dae didn't start off well and as usual, it's all thnx to tt woman i call mum. i just feel tt she dun understand mi at all. maybe this is partly mi fault cos i didn't give her da chance to. and y can't she be happy as long as i m happy... can she tink more for mi like the things or pple tt can actualli make mi happy and not things tt wld make her happy... and since she cannot try to tink in mi shoes, den can she just leave mi alone... sum things are not meant to be shared with her now... i will one dae but just now now.. cxan she respect this decision of mine? even if she can try to stop mi frm doin things, she cannot stop mi frm wanting these things.... grrr... she realli realli irritates mi... i cannot stand it anymore... either i vanish frm her life or she vanish frm mi life... haik... i start work @ 5 todae so i popped over to suntec to visit cf... cf was nice... cheered mi up with all her lameness... she ar.. can be quite irritating but todae, i realli appreciate it.. thnx... was feeling a little down when i went for work... a little moody but things are fine now. she's online now with mi... doin her work... aniwae.. m a little hungry.. ate quite little todae... a big contrast to the daes when i always eat till very bloated... i wan maggie but m too lazy to cook...

my feet hurts! all thnx to da new sports shoe tt i wore out todae. it's so tight! now mi leg got blisters already and it hurts! ahaha, aniwae, had a cousins' outing todae. it's been such a long time since da 3 of us hang out together. met at parkway parade in da afternoon and we shopped ard. hmmm, tt place changed alot since da last time i went which was like more than 5 yrs ago. after shoppin ard, walked to east coast to cycle. the sun is soo hot.. n i stupidly chose a bike tt's kinda too big for mi. i ended up aching everywhere, mi arms and esp mi ass! grrr... after cycling, we decided to chill out at mcafe... hee... mi first time dere.. it's actualli not tooo bad.. hmmm.. after cycling, we realised we still got many places to go soo we kinda rushed ourselves.. went bugis cos debbie wants to get her organiser and deborah wants to get a pair of slippers. after bugis.. we wanted to walk to funan but the walk was long and deborah cldn't take it soo she offered to hire a cab and tt she wld pay... tt girl ar.. bloody rich leh.. jealous! went funan soo tt debbie can collect her bag then i went up to vietro to 'check mi schedule'.... quite sad... dey were busy.. no one noticed mi presence! hmmm... and finally our final destination of the dae is to amk to eat steamboat... i m impressed.. coffeeshop actualli offers buffet style steamboat and it's onli like 11 bucks... the food is not tooo bad as in i dun ask much for 11 bucks... it's actualli quite a good deal. wld bring her dere one of these daes.... after eating... we talked alot... abt mi, abt dem... it's nice... i noe i wld definitely miss this type of outings once debbie goes australia.... soobz after da dinner, travelled home miself.. decided to save money as i m realli realli broke now, i walked home frm tampines interchange sespite da fact tt mi feet hurts like hell! m tinkin whether shld i go find a second job as mi working hrs at vietro now are getting lesser... i need cash... can't stand being broke...

da dae started off well. b4 work started, we went to eat breakfast. it was a nice breakfast. den after breakfast, mi tummy felt very wierd and before i knew it, i m running to and fro frm the toilet puking mi life out. it was a very terrible feeling. felt too sickly tt i cannot even work. i m supposed to end work at 2 but ard 12.. i cannot make it oreadi. had to get daddy to cum to fetch mi frm funan.. tink i have a slight fever. when i reached home, i just fell into bed.. felt soo damn weak. da best part is mi fone keep ringing.. both hse fone and hp.. cldn't get a proper rest... just keep lying on da bed.. no energy to get off manz. after work, she called. tok to her for a little while... and she sae she wanna go rest cos she goin out tonite mah. hmmm... was craving for fish porridge den... aniwae... i was supposed to call her and wake her up frm her little rest.. but she seemed busy.. i was a little sad.... den ard 9 plus... she actually pop up @ mi hse.. she actualli went chinatown to get mi fish porridge.. i m soo damn touched... i feel like seeing her, i m already half recovered already... stayed at mi hse and waited for mi to finish mi porridge.... wanted her to stay longer... but she goin out tonite... aniwae, i haven't bathe yet ever since i came hm.. too sick.. tink i better go bathe now.. hee

was too lazy to blog last night when i reached home. mum bought this medcine from the chinese medical hall and made mi drink it. was quite disgusting... mi whole body felt very weak after drinking it, cld onli lie on da bed and wait for her to call mi.. aniwae, watched another movie yesterdae. it is quite an old movie... love mi if u dare.. french movie... initially, didn't understand wad the movie was abt but after the movie... realised if i looked at it in another pt of view.. can be quite meaningful... watched too many movies nowadaes, eat too much nowadaes... it's just da start of feb and i m oreadi feeling broke... can't wait for mi next pay... =) felt quite down yesterdae. came to realise tt dere are many things i cannot do for her... felt quite useless... but she was nice... cheered mi up alot... aniwae... i did not have to go to work todae.. all thnx to mi darling friend chinfang... but nvm lah... it's afternoon shift soo not soo bad.. better go get ready for work...

supposed to wake up at 8 this morning cos mi work starts at ten but i overslept and did not wake up till 9... rushed like mad this mornin.. did not even have a decent bath but i figured tt even if i took a decent bath, i wld still stink at the suntec foodcourt... tt place just makes mi smell fishy and oily.. eww. disgusting manz. aniwae, was late to work, as usual.. it's been a week since i go to the foodcourt to work... got transfered between funan and suntec... aniwae, mi working hrs are getting lesser and lesser.. company need to cut cost.. maybe i shld start looking for another job? heard baby's fren's workin place needs a waitress... working hrs are 6 to 11... tinking whether shld i do it...kk, aniwae, work ended earli.. at 2 todae.. den i went over to funan.. to get sum computer stuff for daddy den i hang ard vietro tp help out... blah blah blah.... she supposed to end work at 6... we stayed on almost until 8 cos dey were short handed... i was quite pissed cos i very hungry.. aniwae, had a goood dinner... big fish big prawns again.... had seafood steamboat and fried kway teow... yummy!!! den we took bus back to tampines.... slept on the bus.. aniwae, mi flu is not gettin better and i havin a cough now too... hmm.. tink i passed mi cough to her... feel a little bad... kk lah.. yawns.. i m tired liao... better go sleep.. aniwae.. todae wld be a GREAT dae cos i m off!!! =) ahahahha

woah... it's a long time since i last blogged. many people are already naggin at me liao lor. okie, firstly... sorrie to all mi dearest frens out dere. i noe i have been a little busy these daes and neglecting u all. u guys are making the effort to and i m not.. i really feel very bad... so i wld do sumthing abt it.. and i realli miss all of you. aniwae, soo much have happened for these past three weeks.... i can sae these past 3 weeks are sum of the best daes i had in a yr or so... hee hee. she's such a sweetie... todae's her off dae but she needs to come back to do sum stuff... she was soo grouchy abt it can... i worked till 3 den she waited for mi.. and den we went to watch last sammurai... i hafta sae it's nice... didn't expect miself to watch this kinda show.. usually i wun but last sammurai is realli nice... den went magic wok to eat dinner... both of us are goin to be sooo broke very very soon. we have been eating alot these daes... big prawns and big fish... i m shure i m much much fatter now.. can feel mi tummy growing bigger each dae. we are earli todae soo she sent mi home and yet can actualli catch the last bus home... ahahhaa, m sooo proud of her, she didn't take cab @ all yest.... it's like she's been taking cab everydae for @ least a few mths... good start... hmmm... i m tired... haven't bathe yet... =) aniwae, m not feelin well. must be the rain these daes and the late nites... gonna lose mi voice sooon...

just finished mi maggie. was feeling hungry so decided to go cook a packet. toking to cf just now, complaining to her abt work and updating her with every single detail. i was actualli feeling a little sleepy while toking to her, den when msg came in.. i became quite alert. shall not mention hu msg mi. those hu met up with mi recently shld noe hu lah... so aniwae, todae was quite a happy dae for mi cos i dun haf to see this person @ work.. her off dae mah.. not sae i dun wanna see her, is just i dun like her to show mi attitude and tt black face of hers. spoil mi dae onli. so todae while i was a little dreamy and pouring soup @ da same time, i aimed wrongly and instead of pouring soup into da bowl, i pour it over mi hand and scalded miself... damn pain leh! lena got mi a pail of ice to soak into and simply refuse to let mi get mi hands out. it's painful lor... and the feeling's soo numb and cold.. scared mi fingers wld swollen leh.. den not nice liao. ahaha, and she's realli sweet. after i scalded mi hand, she went to buy mi old chang kee's squid and fishballs.. mi fav! and chocolate... ahaha, she like pacifying small girl hor... but ya, tt's wad she see mi as aniwae... =)

i promised dz i wld blog yest but i didn't so i m goin to do it todae. though i m tired but it's not a chore... aniwae, went out with her todae. i slept at like 3 plus 4 last nite and this morn had to wake up earli cos mi silly organ teacher wants to cum earli in the morn to teach mi. after organ, watched vcd den decided there's still time before i meet dz soo i went for a nap. almost overslept manz. woke up @ like 1:45 pm.. supposed to meet her @ 3.. den i rush rush rush like mad. received a call frm lena before i left the hse sayin i hafta work tmr.. sianz... =( aniwae, was kinda late meeting dz. i tink i reached orchard @ like 3:15?? and she reached orchard @ 2:30.. sooo i kinda made her wait quite long.. sorry girl.. =) sooo we decided to go cine cos tinkin of watching a movie. we went to lips to east. she sae she dun like da food dere but after eating.. she actualli sae the food's not bad.. yeah!! must be cos i m dere lor.. aniwae, updated her alot of stuff... and of cos of this irritating girl tt i shall not mention here, aniwae, lips food rox... i love da seafood and the minty chocolate freeze... ahahha.. i m in love with it till i want to lick da whole cup can. aniwae, decided to go shop shop after tt, saw xiaomin, sk and lynn... it feels gd to see ex-classmates leh... aniwae, we went to zara see clothes.. dey havin sales... like soo many pple dere.. i dun wanna buy clothes tt half of singaporean woman are wearing. went far east after tt, tried this jumper dress tt gives mi no figure @ all.... sad manz... den tried this dress tt dz saes i look like a hunter in.. ahahaha, maybe i wld get it tmr. if i dun hafta work late lah. den after all da window shopping, decided to go to my workplace to visit and show dz da environment. we wanted to walk frm town to city hall but decided by the time we reached dere, mi workplace wld have closed liao. went dere and damn shiok. got yansing to serve mi and ahahha, enjoyed being a customer totally. mi and dz chat and laughed loudly.. aniwae, found out tt salad roll totally sux manz. the skin sooo tough!! eww.. dun even tok abt it.... after leaving mi workplace.. we wanted to go hm but dz sae she dun feel like goin hm so wanted to walk to raffles place to take mrt home but we kinda cannot find it... sooo we ended up walkin all da way to clark quay mrt station.. ahahha.. mi junior is such a sweetie.. took mrt to city hall with mi.. i realli enjoyed goin out with her todae.. . dunno when's da next time manz.. maybe one dae i shall go sch and pick her up.... aniwae, thnx junior, loveya! =) i had fun todae.. =)